Today was supposed to be the last cleanse day, but PSYCH!!! Mom is a day behind me and, in solidarity with Mom, I agreed to go one more day. Since I was the one who roped her into this, it didn’t seem fair to chow in front of her. Plus, we’ve been bonding over this (or as Mom calls it, “rectally bonding.”) It’ll be one more day of mother-daughter time. I never would have believed that Mom is talking about getting a juicer and eating sprouts and learning how to make seaweed mineral broth, but she is. This from a woman who regularly indulges on caramel corn and meringue cookies. (Not that I’ve been any better with my diet. I’m the queen of barbecued Fritos with homemade chili mixed with Velveeta cheese (I know, I know. One should never consume anything called “pasteurized processed cheese food.” I mean, come on. Cheese food? As if they have to modify the word cheese just to make sure we know it is is food. You’ve gotta be suspicious about any “cheese” product that lives indefinitely on your shelf without refrigeration.)

It’s enough to make you reevaluate the word “food.” The dictionary defines it this way: “any nourishing substance that is eaten, drunk, or otherwise taken into the body to sustain life, provide energy, promote growth.” I honestly don’t think Velveeta deserves to label itself as food, if you go by that definition. I’m thinking I need to revamp my eating habits after all this is done. Out with the Fritos and Velveeta, in with the quinoa and kale. I had some trepidation about bringing this up with my husband. After all, he’s a die-hard carnitas fan (you know, the lard-laden chunks of pork shoulder that taste so yummy wrapped in tortillas and smothered with cheese and guacamole). So I wasn’t sure how he would react today, when I dragged him to Whole Foods and threw a bag of Ezekial raw sprouted wheat-free “tortillas” into the cart along with two bags of dried seaweed. In anticipation of the end of my cleanse, I bought four bags of fresh produce, 6 But he surprised me. When I made a chicken, avocado, asparagus, sprout wrap out of the “tortillas,” he gobbled it up and thanked me for it. (!!!!) When it comes right down to it, he does want to be healthier, and he’s pretty much grateful that I prepare all of his food for him, even if it is a vegan carrot-sweet potato soup with kale.

I know I’ve changed. Because suddenly, vegan carrot-sweet potato soup with kale is sounding really, really yummy. And I can hardly wait to get my mouth around one of the sprouted wraps with avocado and sprouts. And frankly, the thought of Velveeta with chili and Fritos makes my stomach turn.

Only one more day.