1.You’ve fogged up every mirror in your house from all the sighing you do.
2.You’re considering purchasing stock in the timber industry because of all the tissues you’ve cried into.
3.Even shoe shopping doesn’t cheer you up.
4.You’ve quit answering the phone because you’re tired of hearing your friends say, “Hang in there!”
5. The only phrase your parrot knows is “Oh, fuck.”
6.An omelet is consistently the hands-down winner over sex. And chocolate? Forget it. No contest.
7. If one more person tells you “let it go,” you’re gonna pull out an Uzi.
8.You skipped out on your New Year’s resolutions three years in a row, so this year you resolved not to resolve anything.
9.To you, spirituality is the practice of imbibing spirits (though actually you prefer wine).
10.Every time your heart tries to speak up, your head kicks the bejesus out of it.
11.You’re desperate to get out of your job/relationship/health crisis/funk, but you’re either too overwhelmed to decide what kind of breakfast cereal to buy, or too lethargic to change out of your PJs.
12.Fear has taken over as the dictator of your life.
13.Your idea of exercise is lifting your hiking shoes off the shoe rack to put them in storage.
14.The most creative thing you’ve done lately is switching the color of the pen you use to sign yet another check.
15.You’ve thrown away your old journals because you can’t stand being reminded of all your unrealized dreams.
16.You’re tempted to hide your recycling bin so nobody sees all the empty booze bottles.
17.Your kid makes you a crayon-colored book titled, “A Book For Moms Who Are Stressed Out And Need Help Being A Mom.”
18.You’re in credit card debt from the hundreds of dollars you spent on a new wardrobe, but you still feel frumpy.
19.The happiest you’ve felt in months was when your partner picked up his/her underwear off the bathroom floor.
20.When you listen to the messages on your answering machine, your whole body braces for the news.
Ladies, it’s time to reclaim your health, your femininity, and your mojo by Owning Pink now! The free Owning Pink e-Workshop will be available soon, so keep checking in as we get our mojo power amped up. Until then, tell us how you lost your mojo, how you’re finding it and what Owning Pink means to you. We’re all in this together, Pinkies!
With love and 30 ways to find your mojo on the horizon,
Lissa
PS. This is me, when my mojo was at an all-time low…
Tags: mojo
Also lost your mojo when….
21. You stop showering
22. You stop shaving your girlie bits
23. You stop plucking (brows, not chickens)
24. You stop bleaching the mustache (is this just me?)
25. When someone asks you a question, you automatically answer “you want fries with that?”
26. Your intuition tells you to “bugger off”
Coincidentally, I am wearing the exact same necklace as is shown in the above picture. Mary.
I got my MOJO back. Who needs help finding theirs?
Friggin’ hysterical, Christa! You crack me up! Thanks for the giggles.
I know I’ve lost my mojo when I find myself wearing my grannie panties all the time because there’s no hope that anyone will see my sexy lacies.
Oh no, I identify with #8 & #11 and 21-23 on Christa’s list.
Lately, I annoy myself. I hear the things I’m saying to my friends and think, “when did you turn into such a whiny, needy person?”
Leigh, thank God your friends are there to listen, and Rachel, hang on to those sexy lacies….Owning Sexuality is coming soon…(and just as a preview, you don’t necessarily need a partner to own it!)
I was completely without mojo 17 years ago after my son was born. It took me about 18 months to get out of that funk. Is it possible to have a mojo say, 5 days out of 7? I’m so ready to own pink!!
Yes!!! Having a child can definitely lead to mojo-loss. I know, after Siena was born (the same week my dad died, my dog died, and my little brother ended up in liver failure from Zithromax!), I totally lost my mojo. I felt frumpy and leaky. My breast-feeding head was in a fog and my boss was yelling at me for not being productive enough at work (meaning I wasn’t churning through enough patients), and even my art felt uninspired. But slowly, all those transitions became the nidus for change. And three years later, I’m getting my mojo on. But yes, I think you CAN have mojo 5 days out of 7. I lost mine yesterday when I got hit by a car who kept on driving. And then I had to go to a meeting with Pod People doctors (the old, cranky, tired, grumpy ones who I haven’t had to deal with since I started working in integrative medicine). By the end of the day, I was swigging wine and pulling my hair out. But this morning, it’s back! Hi Mojo! Welcome back! I say grab it when you can and don’t sweat it on those days when it disappears. Thanks for the post Rita!
Wow! What a terrific website. It made me think about the relationship between Menopause and Mojo. As our bodies’ hormones go south, so goes our Mojo. Wouldn’t it be great if there was a MOJO patch?
Wendy Lawson
Menopause the Blog
Amen, sister! I do a whole workshop called Owning Menopause (i’m an OB/GYN, so it’s only natural!) And yes, menopause can definitely be one of those life transitions that threatens to rob us of our mojo. But rest assured, there are predictable ways to keep your mojo, even in the face of menopause. And yes, I do wish there was a mojo patch (some call it the Vivelle dot!) Stick with us, girlfriend. We’re all about the mojo here and we’re delighted to have you with us!
My mojo is stuck, frozen and longs to be noticed and energized back to action.
Go get it, girlfriend. It’s in there- yours to be had. OWN it and invite it back into your life. And stick around with us. We Pinkies tend to be good for the mojo!
I swear I went through the list and made corollaries to each one….
5. The cockatiels recognize STFU and are working hard on SHyt!
6.Sex over chocolate? Ya gotta be kidding me!
7.One more person says ‘Be NICE’ I AM going to do bodily harm!
10. AMEN says the heart as it runs for cover.
Good points Lissa…You are right on the money.
S.
I have sent an invitation to my mojo to return and here I am hanging with the Pinkies.
Oh GOOD! You Pinkies rock!
I really hope, wish and pray that Pinkies rock, roll and deliver.