Today, I turn forty. It’s not every day a girl enters a whole new decade. I remember when my mother turned forty- I was 17 and I thought forty was ancient. People gave her Depends and black balloons and corny cards. But I don’t feel that way about forty. A friend of mine said, “40 is the new 21,” which I’m sure she meant as a huge compliment. But frankly, I don’t feel that way about 40. I wouldn’t want to be 21 again- ever! At 21, I had no clue who I was. I had to resort to designer labels and prestigious university titles to give me a sense of worth, and I looked to men to validate my virtues.

But I’ve come a long way, baby! At 40, I might be getting smile lines and grey hairs, and I’ll never again have the figure I had at 21, but I have something so much more valuable- a growing sense of purpose and the peace of knowing I’m walking the right path, even though I don’t know where I’m going. I know that I am deeply loved by many, that I am making a difference in the world with my presence and gifts, that I am raising a happy, healthy, thriving daughter, and that the world is a better place because I am in it. At 21, I needed jewels as affirmations. At 40, I need nothing that I don’t already have.

When my husband Matt asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I thought long and hard about the answer. Do I want to travel to New Zealand, a place I’ve always wanted to visit? Do I want to have a giant birthday bash with fancy catered food and free-flowing champagne? Do I want to go back to Esalen to take the writing workshop Nancy Aronie is teaching this weekend? Yes, to all those things. What wonderful experiences they would all be. But when I searched my heart, I realized that what I most want to usher me into my fifth decade is the kind of connectedness I experience in the Owning Pink workshops I teach, except I want everybody there to be hand-chosen to represent the most special women in my life, the Pink goddesses that have been there to hold my hand through three weddings and two divorces and the pain of losing Dad, my dog Ariel, and the two fingers my husband cut off his left hand with a table saw (long story…)

I wanted to spend my 40^th birthday with the women who shared with me the bittersweet experience of giving birth to Siena, the agony of quitting my job, and finally, the joy and peace of finding my way. Those women are my rock- Becca, Keli, Trish, Trudy, Kim, Genevieve, Katsy, Diane, Kate, Joy (and Joy Joy), Kandy, Stephanie, Jo, Sarah, Carmen, Vera, Tori, Amy, Beth, Nancy, Monique, Tracy, Jeannie, Lorraine…the list goes on. They couldn’t all make it this weekend- of course not. They have children to tuck in, jobs that keep them busy, and responsibilities at home. Like all women, they juggle a million balls in the air all at once and still have time to call and write and wish me happy birthday. But they are all here in spirit, and I can feel their energy in my home as I prepare for those who are making the pilgrimage to be here with me.

It is early in the morning, and as this special day dawns, I am filled with awe and gratitude for the Pink sisters that invite me to be the Lissaest of Lissas, who believe in my essential Pinkness, tolerate my crap, egg me on when I’m being silly, lift me up when I fall, and offer a shoulder when I need one. Without all of you, I would be a paler, weaker, watered down version of myself. But with you all- truly, the wind beneath my wings, I am strong, I am empowered, I am beautiful, and I am whole.

Forty? Bring it on. I’m Owning 40, I’m a happy, old fart, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Go hug one of your Pink sisters for me today and remind them how much richness they bring to your life.

With 40 Pink candles and loads of love,

Lissa Rankin

www.owningpink.com

THEN: (at 21)

Now, joyfully leaving my thirties behind: