So, Owning Pink is all about getting our Mojo back by Owning the parts of ourselves that may have been sliding. For a lot of Pinkies, that includes their Spiritual or Creative lives, their Sexuality, their Femininity … you get the picture. But remember – these aren’t the things that comprise you as an individual. They are areas of your life that you inhabit, but of course we know that there’s more to you than that.
What parts of YOU have you reclaimed, or are you ready to Own? Try making a list of things that are totally, uniquely you. Things you are tired of trying to hide or correct. Things that you’ve stuffed into corners because you thought they were weird or ugly or unacceptable. Things you’ve forgotten about yourself. The more we Own about ourselves – the more we accept, love, forgive, and include – the more complete we are, the more we glow Pink.
This isn’t something you need to share with anyone but your Pink self. Maybe it’s something you’ll want witnessed by your Pink Posse. That’s up to you. You’re exposing new, unknown, and vulnerable parts of yourself – make sure they’re put out into a safe space where they’ll be respected and nurtured (like your Joy Journal). I know that the Owning Pink community is just such a space, so for the purpose of this exercise – and to test the limits of my own courage and get this REALLY out there – I’ll share some of the ways I’m learning to Own Myself. Here we go. (Deep, shaky breath.)
- I like to listen to adult easy listening music in the car. I just do. Though I still keep the windows rolled up, if you see me crooning to my car, it’s probably along to Richard Marx or Sade or a Lionel Ritchie ballad. I love sappy love songs. There. I said it. Owned.
- I did gymnastics for most of my childhood and now have really broad shoulders. Once a flight attendant on a Japanese airline asked if I was a swimmer – he just couldn’t get over my physique. Yep, my shoulders are unusually bulky, and while we’re at it, my arms are big too. And they’re mine. And I love them. And I Own them. So pbth…
- Sometimes I like to be quiet. A lot of the time actually. I’m not much of a talker, and never have been. As such I’ve heard myself described as aloof or stand-offish. Often I’m asked what’s wrong. Nothing’s wrong. It’s just me being me. Owning that I don’t have to be chatty if it’s not what feels good.
- Whenever I’m in a wide open space – a big empty office, a gym, a stretch of green grass – I get the urge to do a cartwheel. Lately I’ve been Owning this by saying “f— it” and just cartwheeling, regardless of whether it’s “appropriate.” It’s the way my body wants to move, and I gotta say, it feels … SO good.
- I found the love of my life when I was 22. I’m now 31. I’ve spent most of the last nine years questioning the rightness of this choice. I mean, I don’t like who I was when I was 22, how could that person have made the right decision? Plus, I’m sooo not a person who would get into a relationship that young before having had time to “find myself.” Now, I’m Owning my 22-year-old self, and validating her intuition and her decision. I’m also Owning that I AM the person who would get and stay in a relationship so young because, well, that’s what I did. That’s who I am. I’m Owning it all.
So then, Pinksters, how do You Own You? What are you ready to bring to the forefront, own, accept, and, if it’s time, release? How might this change your life? What if you Owned the part of you that always wanted to be a children’s librarian? The part of you that likes to make those old-school rope bracelets out of embroidery thread? Your inner clarinet player? What if you Owned the part of you that can barely resist wearing plaid? The one that still hates your older brother for using you as a tackling dummy? Who could you be if you Owned all of you?
We in the Pink Posse are ready to hear, love, accept, and applaud every single part. Own it all!
With a Pink standing ovation,
Joy
Tags: inspiration, loving with is, mojo, motivation, Owning You, self-acceptance
I relate so much to what you’ve written here.
I too am an extremely quiet person. I’m not good at small talk or talking in groups. I prefer to be one on one and talk about stuff that matters. But I have always been extremely self-conscious of the fact that I’m so quiet. I used to obsess about it when I was younger. Now I am accepting it and realizing that the people who care about me and want to know me will get to know me, whether I’m a chatty Cathy or not. I do love to write though and if there’s something I really want to tell you, I can write the hell out of a letter. The funny thing is recently someone accused me of being “too quiet” and added “you’re a writer and you don’t have anything to say.”
And the big arm thing. I used to be a teacher and I will never forget a student saying to me one time. “Oooh, Mrs. Horner, you got some big arms!” I love my arms now though!
And finally, I met my husband when I was 21 and we married when I was 23. We were just babies, but have had a great marriage. My life would not be the same without him.
Leslee Horner
I love what you wrote, Joy. SO TRUE. Here’s what I’m Owning:
1. I’m not good with children. I mean I’m no ogre, and I take good care of them. But I just don’t know what to do or what to say. I feel like they’re looking right through me, like they know how lame I really am when I’m around them. Even around my daughter, who I adore, I feel tongue-tied, unlike my mother, who was born to be a mother and is a total natural. It’s not something I’m proud of. I’ve tried to pretend I’m different. But c’est la vie. Own it.
2. I just love music. I mean, not like most people say they love music. We’re talking reading Rolling Stone cover to cover, downloading hundreds of songs per month, DJing on Twitter- totally OBSESSING over music. And I’m not picky. Lady Gaga, Barry Manilow, JayZ, Rachmaninov, the Sound of Music soundtrack, Shania Twain, Josh Groban, Miley Cyrus- we’re talking all over the map. I feel bad about it sometimes. It seems silly and trivial to be a forty-year old who is so obsessed with the latest musical craze. But it is what it is. I actually wish life was a musical- that people would break out into song and dance whenever something dramatic or funny happened. Oh well.
3. I will never have a flat belly. Even back when I was a dancer, exercising 6 hours/day and bordering on an eating disorder, I still had a pooch below my belly button. I’m Owning it, and I’m trying to love my belly.
4. I am a total sucker for romantic comedies. They don’t even have to be good. I’ll watch a really bad romantic comedy over and over while I paint because it just makes me FEEL GOOD. I have an entire collection of really cheezy romantic comedies on DVD, and I watch them over and over. I’m Owning it, right this very minute.
4. I’m impatient. I pass people on narrow two-lane highways. I can feel my blood pressure rising when I have to wait at a doctor’s office. It makes me crazy. Am I owning that one? Okay, maybe not. I’m still trying to change…
I could go on, but I’ll leave room for the rest of you Pinkies. What are you Owning?
Hello Joy,
Yes, I too agree. What a wonderful, thought provoking post filled with candor and insight…
Too often we feel the “new you” is somehow better than the “old you”. One thing I gleaned from your post is that we are who we are. Perhaps at times we enhance or supress certain parts of ourselves to fit into a certain occupation or social group.
The “new you” may simply be cleansing the negative and bringing out the positive. I commend you on Owning it All (funny, I just bought that domain name, as I am really enjoying “Owning”…figuratively and literally) and your post!
All the best,
Susanna
I will so own Richard Marx with you. A zillion years ago when I lived in Chicago, I worked with Richie and his Dad — writing jingles. I knew then that this kid had the stuff. I still sing along at the top of my lungs — and I drive a convertible! HA. Don’t care who laughs!
This afternoon I screamed at the top of my lungs – into a pillow of course (so the neighbors wouldn’t think I was being molested
… after six months of bureaucractic hell came to a climax.
Hell, my field is authentic voice. This is NOT my habit and I TOTALLY OWN that I lost it.
Actually feels good and strong. After all, my field is Authentic and Transformational Voice. Pink is not always rosey…
Oh- SO TRUE, sweetie. Yes, authentic is not always pretty- but it is YOU and it is real. Bet you feel better now! I’m sorry you had to endure the bureaucratic hell, but I applaud you for having the courage to feel your feelings- and to scream! You go girl!