God, Angels, Life and Moving On

Healing is always possible. Don’t ever give up hope.

God, Angels, Life and Moving On

Fred Krazeise, July 29, 2009

This post by dearest Pinkie Fred is one we return to often. Please enjoy a re-read (or first-time through) as we honor the height of summer, the holiday weekend, and the new OwningPink.com's one month anniversary!

This is complicated, but I’ll try to keep it simple. This is very hard for me to write, yet it is the most important thing I have ever written – so here it comes.

As most of you know, I am a certified massage therapist, Reiki Master and life coach. If you have had a session with me, you also know that I work I do is profoundly different – it’s a different experience from getting a massage or other bodywork at the spa – not that there is anything wrong with that! We don’t get enough touch in our culture and that is a shame.

But the work I do is different because I work with victims and survivors. I work with women who have been sexually assaulted, physically or emotionally abused, or who have suffered some form of shock and trauma, and who experience chronic pain every day. I also work with women who are undergoing transitions in their life, specifically divorce, separation, loss of loved one, and grief. I try to help my clients reconnect with their bodies. In many cases, the only nurturing touch they have in their life is when they see me. They have shut themselves off – living disembodied from their physical being. The goal of our work is to reconnect once again, to become whole once again, and to begin anew with body, mind and spirit once again in balance. The goal of the work is to help the client move on.

We like to be able to explain things in our culture. “How do you do this?” people ask me. And the technical answer I give them is that I combine a variety of Asian and western massage forms. I use subtle energy therapies like Reiki and some Cranial-Sacral Therapy. I combine what ever I feel is necessary to meet the client where she is in her space. I am profoundly influenced by both Esalen massage therapy as well as Lomi Lomi massage – the beautiful Hawaiian form of massage. Both forms of bodywork require that the practitioner be especially present and hold a very sacred place for the recipient. And I combine life coaching in a way that helps the client to move forward. That’s what it is all about.

So that is what I tell people. But there is more. Much, much more.

I have what some people might call, a “gift,” and it has only been recently that I have begun to see it as such. For years, I buried it, denied its existence, and refused to acknowledge it.

What is it? Ok. This is the hard part for me.

I can sense the presence of angels, and other entities. To borrow a line from the movie The Sixth Sense, I can sometimes see dead people and they sometimes communicate with me. I am also highly empathic, and I can tell the moment I put my hands on a client if there has been a history of abuse or violence. I often will feel what they felt during the abuse or the trauma. Their tissue carries more than just the physical scars, but the emotions and feelings, and I feel it all. Together, I work with these very special women to try to release the pain.

I don’t make this announcement casually or lightly. I have gay and lesbian friends, and for me, this represents my own form of “coming out,” and it opens the door for ridicule and scorn. I’ve worked very hard to be taken seriously. I’ve undergone years of training as a massage therapist, energy worker and wellness coach. But, for many reasons it is very important that I accept this, and do what my dear friend Lissa says, “to own it.” It is, after all, who I am.

I buried this “gift” for what I thought was a very good reason. When I was six years old, my sister was killed by a drunk driver. She was older than me, 18 at the time of her death. But, we were very close. She would look after me, she would read to me. She took me to a magical place she said was called a “library” and introduced me to the world of books and literature. To this day, I consider libraries sacred places. We were so very close, and her death created a void in my heart – a painful, empty space.

What happened that night? I saw a vision of my sister getting hurt. I saw the accident in a premonition. I tried to tell her about it. I begged her not to go out that evening. I cried and said ‘please don’t go.’ She told me that everything would be alright, but I knew that it wouldn’t. She left to go out and I knew I would never see her again. She was in a fatal car accident less than a mile from our house and died a few days later. And so, I buried my “gift” because I was angry.

I hated God and angels and wanted nothing to do with them. And even when thoughts or visions would come to me, I refused to acknowledge their existence. I wanted no part of this – I was furious and held that anger with me for nearly 50 years. This was no gift. I was seriously pissed off! What merciful God would give a six-year old a vision of his sister dying? I would often cry out, “Leave me alone!” “Go away!”

Thankfully, they never did.

It wasn’t until I began my practice as a massage therapist that things began to change for me. At the time, I didn’t even realize or consider that I needed to do this work in order to heal myself. But when you open your heart to God’s infinite love, you cannot help being swept away by it. And that is what slowly began to happen.

I began to open my heart and draw upon my ability to see things to help me gain insight with clients. Just recently, a woman came to see me for the first time. The minute she walked into my office, I sensed and saw a presence beside her. It was her mother, and she remained with us throughout her daughter’s session. She wanted me to tell her daughter how proud she was of her. The daughter works for the government and has recently been selected for a very important overseas assignment.

After our session concluded, we chatted about how coaching could help her regain some balance in her life. She said that she had lost herself in the past year. Her work was demanding and she said that she was holding her family together. I asked what happened, and she told me that her mother had died a year ago from breast cancer. I said to her, “You know your mother is very, very proud of you and I think she wants you to know that.” She immediately began to cry, and told me that she had a dream of her mother just the night before, and in that dream her mother said the same thing, that she was very proud of her.

This has happened to me before, but I have never been so powerfully affected by the feeling of unbounded love. For the first time, I actually began to feel the unlimited grace of God’s love. It was there, surrounding both of us. It was palpable and I could feel it.

With the help of some wonderful friends, most notably my dear, wonderful friend Alice Langholt (@ReikiAwakening), I decided it was time to talk to the angels. I could not have done this without Alice’s help and support. She is the one who encouraged me. She is the one who guided me to this point.

The idea of actually talking to angels was extraordinarily difficult for me. I was still harboring the anger, the hurt over the loss of my sister. But, these angels (there are usually four of them by the way) have been hanging around me for some time and for some reason, and I’ve also been burdened with this “gift” for some reason. So, I finally agreed with Alice. It was time for me to get some answers.

How do you get answers? You have to ask the questions. So I did.

I asked my angels why they were bothering me. Why are they here? Were they here to mock me in some way, because I rejected them so many years ago? And then I asked them the most difficult question. I asked my angels why I was given the vision of my sister’s death. What purpose could that possibly have served? After all, I failed in warning her. It was my fault that she went out. If only she had listened to me. If only I had tried harder to persuade her. If only . . .

Yes, if only.

Here is their answer. They told me that there was nothing that I could have done. I was given the vision to remind me that I would always be in the loving arms of God’s embrace. I was given the vision to help me keep my sister forever in my heart, to strive to live my life like she would have wanted me live, to grow and contribute and to live life fully; to give back something to the world. She would not be able to make her mark on the world, but I still could.

That was the lesson that I missed 50 years ago. That was the lesson that my anger blinded me from seeing. Yes, if only I had been able to receive that lesson 50 years ago, I would have been able to release my pain and anger. But, it doesn’t matter. You can always move forward. And that is what I have decided to do.

My sister wants me to move on. And she has sent loving angels to help me. That is why these angels are here, looking over me, guiding me, assisting me in everything that I do. They are with me every day, every moment. And they are with you too. They are all around us, everywhere. They are here to help, and to guide. And they are here to answer our questions. We only need to ask them.

I don’t consider myself to be an angel expert. There are many people in the world who are, and I’m not one of them. And I don’t expect to be writing much about angels. But, I have embraced them as a part of my life. I no longer am angered by their presence. I look forward to seeing them every day now. I look forward to asking them more questions. And I look forward to their help for I realize they have helped me to see a greater universe.

Angels are part of who I am. They are part of me. They have helped me understand that I am part of God’s realm.

And if a client asks, I will hopefully find the right words to explain it. I still want to be taken seriously, but I have no qualms about saying that I sometimes get a little extra “help” in my work. It is my angels who help me connect to something higher. It is my angels who guide me and help me hold my clients in God’s loving embrace.

I think my clients will understand. I hope so, because it is true.

Peace to you all.

Fred

Comments

I Don’t Know « Waiting for the Click's picture

[...] for women). Fred writes

By I Don’t Know « Waiting for the Click (not verified) on Friday, 09/04/2009 at 1:15 AM

[...] for women). Fred writes quite a bit for Owning Pink and I have thoroughly enjoyed reading his posts. When you read people’s blog posts and comments you feel like you are getting to know them [...]

Dearest BV, How wonderful

By Jean Kowalski (not verified) on Tuesday, 08/25/2009 at 5:42 AM

Dearest BV, How wonderful that you share with everyone this side. What's so fascinating is that we always have a choice. So choosing not to expose this side of yourself to others is perfectly ok!!

Though let me ask you, how would it feel to begin to allow these emotions, visions, and feelings to come out? Would you feel vulnerable....would you feel a sense of freedom......whatever it is is totally perfect for you on your journey. (what's so cool here is there is no judgement.....loving you for who you are!!!)

Just know you will have a huge family supporting you in whatever direction you may choose!

I would say you have much courage......look at what you shared with everyone!!!

Much love and light on your journey. Jean

Dear BV, Lissa is absolutely

By Fred (not verified) on Tuesday, 08/25/2009 at 5:39 AM

Dear BV,

Lissa is absolutely right. I can tell you writing this was a liberating moment for me on so many different levels. I know am free to acknowledge the existence of angels in my life every day, and as I said they are everywhere -- around us all the time.

It took me a very long time to get to this point (50 years to be exact). But, now that my own secret is out, I am free to live and connect to the beautiful joyful life that is all around me.

My encouragement to anyone holding deep wounds and secrets is to take baby steps. Allow yourself to breathe and feel. At some point it does take an act of faith. But, the good news is that in a forum such as Owning Pink, taking that step to come out from behind your secret becomes easier. Because this is a place where you are loved, and where this is no judgment -- only acceptance.

Peace, Fred

Dear BV, I honor your story

By Lissa Rankin on Tuesday, 08/25/2009 at 5:00 AM

Dear BV, I honor your story and am so comforted to know that the angels are out there, communicating with some, guarding and guiding the rest of us.

I find it so interesting that you have brought up this issue: "One thing is that few people comment on is the hidden secrets in their lives."

Just yesterday, I was talking with Joy, our Pink Editor-in-Chief, and we were discussing future blog topics- such as our shadow sides, giving Pinkies permission to express their joy as freely as their pain, and how secrets suck the life out of us. Did you hear us talking?

You are right- we invite our community to not only validate what we are sharing and feeling but to have the courage to tell their own truth. Writing this post and sharing this secret took great courage for Fred. He can comment better, but I know it was a very vulnerable place for him to be, and yet, I believe it was also very freeing. Telling our secrets can liberate us.

I know that we are all at very different places on our journey. Some of us are not ready to tell our secrets yet- and that's okay. We accept everyone right where they're at. But for those of you who are ready to take the next step, I invite you to join us- to move one step closer to truth, freedom, and wholeness.

I think I will write a post about that today....You've inspired me, BV. Thank you for being in our Pink community and having so much to share. WIth love Lissa

Fred & Others I read with

By BV (not verified) on Monday, 08/24/2009 at 10:32 PM

Fred & Others

I read with interest about the angels, and like Billy Graham I see what he would say and see. I did have a angel encounter myself.........and its true what some say.........the voice they carry cannot be dispersed as female or male, how ever it is very unusual. I also had miracles happen in my life. I also have a daughter who carries a gift of prediction and a niece who communicates with animals. So many of us have gifts. Yet so many of us do not share the stories. I see the talent you have in writing. I see the talent of the readers in writing. I respect all of you and the talents that I have seen. One thing is, that few people comment on is the hidden secrets in their lives and of others ---but through the secrets people cannot come forward to share the hardships, their happiness but ---is it the lack of courage? More so that, they have the gift also to maintain their privacy. Some cannot do that...........

Goodnight all of you.........Your all a blessings to someone...and your all in my prayers.....BV

Thanks for that article,

By Alice (not verified) on Wednesday, 08/05/2009 at 9:22 AM

Thanks for that article, Fred. It does help to explain a lot of things and has a ring of Truth to it that is very resonant.

Glad you have embraced your journey. How admirable. Peace and love, Alice

Fred, what a beautiful

By Lissa Rankin on Wednesday, 08/05/2009 at 3:24 AM

Fred, what a beautiful article. Thank you so much for sharing. Love Lissa

My dear friend Dr. Deb Brown

By Fred (not verified) on Wednesday, 08/05/2009 at 2:31 AM

My dear friend Dr. Deb Brown sent me this article today. It's titled "What Happens in the Afterlife,

http://www.intent.com/margaretruth/blog/what-happens-afterlife.

I can tell you that this article describes EXACTLY what I experience. Not everyone who dies hangs on. It's only when they have something important to say, and if they feel I can be their voice that they will open themselves up to me.

Fascinating!

Peace!

Dear Trish, Thank you so

By Fred (not verified) on Friday, 07/31/2009 at 12:43 PM

Dear Trish,

Thank you so very much for your reply. I shall look for this book. I can tell you that I do not believe there is anything special about this. In fact, this is something that anyone can do. But I think that being the person who raised Lissa and helped make her the person that she is today . . . now THAT is special.

Thank you Lissa for sharing your beautiful story.

Blessings to you both, Fred

Fred, Trish is my beloved

By Lissa Rankin on Friday, 07/31/2009 at 12:29 PM

Fred, Trish is my beloved mother. And yes, I've had what I believe to be an angel story, though not necessarily the way you see angels. When I was about 10, I was in North Carolina gathering fall leaves for my mother, who loves them and liked to wax them to decorate the house. The weather hadn't been quite right that year, and few of the prized red leaves were around. But I promised her I would gather some really special leaves.

I went out into the wilderness, picking and collecting leaves, and I found a perfect red leaf hanging from a far branch of a tree leaning over a cliff. Holding onto some brush, I lowered myself down the cliff until I could reach the red leaf. But just as I grabbed the red leaf, the brush gave way, and I started sliding down the very steep cliff. It wasn't until after I found another bush to cling to and dug my toes into the earth that I realized the beautiful prized red leaf had fallen from my hand.

I clung there for a while, in the wilderness, in the middle of nowhere, trying to figure out how to avoid tumbling down the cliff, when a man appeared out of the woods. He looked like the kind of guy we would sometimes see in those neck of the woods, hunting, wearing a plaid shirt and holding a staff. Walking right over to the ledge, he lowered the stick, I grabbed onto it, and he pulled me up to the ledge. When I turned around seconds later to thank him, he was gone, I ran into the woods, searching for him to thank him, but I never found him. He never said a word.

When I got home and relayed the story to my parents, my mother told me I had met an angel. He looked nothing like how I thought an angel would appear, so I was skeptical. I told Mom about the read leaf I had picked- which then floated away after my fall. As I reached my hand into my pocket, I found the red leaf.

Only then did I believe.

I don't have much time to

By Trish (not verified) on Friday, 07/31/2009 at 10:22 AM

I don't have much time to respond as I'd like to but I was/am one of those rare believers in angels when it was considered a bit crazy to believe in them. Then many years ago, Reader's Digest began printing angel stories and the public began accepting their reality without associating them with lunacy.I personally have never had my own angel story but Lissa has. Perhaps she will share it. I have had one experience with my deceased husband's presence since his death. It was weird but I have begun believing more and more in the power of the hereafter and their interaction with those of us that allow the channels to remain open. I have a friend Rebecca who like you, sees the souls of those gone on before us. She uses her gifts to help others, including the police. I applaud your courage but mostly affirm your honesty. I have recently read the book,"Expecting Adam" I would advise it for you. Perhaps it will help you feel less different/special and more normal. I look forward to meeting you sometime, Fred. Trish

I am truly grateful for all

By Fred (not verified) on Friday, 07/31/2009 at 6:34 AM

I am truly grateful for all of your comments. - Thank you all, so very, very much.

Thank you all so much for

By Lissa Rankin on Friday, 07/31/2009 at 6:02 AM

Thank you all so much for your continued support of Fred on his journey. I sit in awe as I read this whole conversation. We, as a community, are awakening every day...Namaste.

Fred- I am so happy that you

By Bridget Pilloud (not verified) on Thursday, 07/30/2009 at 5:15 PM

Fred- I am so happy that you have angels that work with you and through you. I had a few intuitive experiences where I couldn't help the people involved. It was heartbreaking. I asked God to take that away from me. To only show me information where I could help. That made a big difference in my ability to feel good about my intuition.

I let angels work through me for my work as an intuitive counselor. They are so helpful. That doesn't make it easy to talk about, though. It is a lot like coming out, I think.

In all the intuitive work I do, the angel conversations are the hardest for people to come to terms with. They are fine with past lives and intuitive tarot and chakra. But bring up the angels or God and people freeze a bit. I wish they understood how much better they would feel if they could experience the love that angels share on a regular basis.

I really like what you said about all of us having this gift. Because we do. And I think it's important to teach others to talk directly to theirs and to hear.

I wish the very best for you in your work and your life.

Much love- Bridget Pilloud

Thank you Fred for having the

By Frank Dickinson (not verified) on Thursday, 07/30/2009 at 4:52 PM

Thank you Fred for having the courage to share your story. Fear and uncertainty are powerful forces when it comes to exposing our deepest self. I am so very thankful that you pushed through those forces - for yourself - and for the greater good.

Know this, my friend, you have opened a door to the path that many of us a just beginning to journey down. You have stood at the gate and leaned back to us with assuring words whispering - "it's okay people, it's okay."

Thank you Fred for your honesty. Thank you for being real and reminding me that we all have things that we need, can and should work through, even as healers. I'm reminded that it is sometimes our past that enlivens or present and makes the future path easier.

Bless you my brother.

Frank

Fred, Tara's assistant Lindi

By Lissa Rankin on Thursday, 07/30/2009 at 7:24 AM

Fred, Tara's assistant Lindi shared this link with me of another angelic messenger you might be interested in connecting with www.lornabyrne.com

And thank you, Tara (our Mojo Mentor and Pink metaphysician, for those who don't know you) for your continued support.

Fred, today, you are one day closer to becoming who you already are, honey. xoxo Lissa

Tara, Thank you so very

By Fred (not verified) on Thursday, 07/30/2009 at 5:56 AM

Tara,

Thank you so very much. That means a lot to me, especially coming from you. I feel I can learn much from you.

Peace, Fred

Hi Fred, I think it's

By Tara Sutphen (not verified) on Thursday, 07/30/2009 at 5:38 AM

Hi Fred,

I think it's wonderful that you are opening to your psychic gifts once again...as you encourage others your life will grow with incredible joy.We live as spiritual beings experiencing an earth life, we will return from whence we came. But while we're here we shouldn't be afraid to express our talents. When you help and support others, they help and support you. And it's already nice that you raise the level of appreciation and understanding when giving massage and reiki. I wish you peace on your continued journey.

Blessings, Tara Sutphen

well that is an interesting

By Fred (not verified) on Thursday, 07/30/2009 at 4:34 AM

well that is an interesting idea . . . and i REALLY have to wrap my head around that one for a bit!

I think that part of the issue is that we have some sort of need in our culture to put boxes around things - to categorize and to define. I am working on another article as we speak titiled "Pulling it all Together – Connecting the Dots Between Body, Mind and Spirit." Somehow we have allowed ourselves to become "compartmentalized" beings. When we are ill, we see a doctor. When we face crises of spirit, we see a member of the clergy. If we are faced with depression or other mental illness, we see a psychologist or psychiatrist. Who speaks for the whole? And how do we connect back to the whole? Ancient and primitive cultures seemed to grasp the concept of the whole, and the need for balance between body, mind, spirit and the natural connection that we all have with the earth and universe. Of course, many of those cultures had shamans or similar figures . . . so, you may be on to something here! :-)

I am sensitive to the term "special" because there really is nothing special about what I do. Anyone, and everyone can do this. But I do accept that fact that for whatever reason, I can somehow tap into something bigger, and get extra help as I serve very special women who deserve to be cared for, nurtured, and loved.

We have a very special and loving Pink community here. And I'm so happy to be a part of it.

Peace.

Fred, I believe the work you

By Lissa Rankin on Thursday, 07/30/2009 at 4:21 AM

Fred, I believe the work you are doing is that of a shaman, of sorts.

The definition of shaman- One who acts as a medium between the visible world and an invisible spirit world for purposes of healing, divination, and control over natural events. Shamans serve as intermediaries between the human and spirit world and can treat illness or answer the problems of their community by seeking guidance in the supernatural realms.

I know you may be shaking your head, Fred. This may feel like too big a burden. But I just thought I'd throw the term out there because it's what came to me. And to call you simply a massage therapist is to put you in a box not big enough to contain you.

I in no way intend to pressure you or put you on some pedestal or even label you as "special." I merely encourage you with love and acceptance to embrace your life's work with meaning and purpose- as I know you are doing.

Ok. I need to take time to

By Fred (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 4:03 PM

Ok. I need to take time to breathe . . . (breathing now)

oh my . . .

Saam and Leslee - thank you for being here and for your loving comments.

Ann . . . I am overwhelmed . . . I show no courage . . . you have faced the demons of the past, confronted them and have moved on. I was just there. You did all of the work.

Leslee, you are right . . . this is a very supporting environment indeed.

Thank you all so very much.

...."What this is about is

By Ann Udofia (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 3:45 PM

...."What this is about is honesty. How can I ask a client to do something that I am unwilling to do myself? How can I ask a client to move on from the past, if I continue to cling to the past? How can I ask a client to release anger, fear, and frustration, if I am unwilling to release those feelings?"....

We can only take our patients and clients as far as we are willing to go ourselves. Fred this is what makes you so much more than a therapist. It makes a treatment.. better yet...an experience with you, the most loving, healing encounter one can EVER be blessed to have. You have been honest in a way that most of us would not dare, and I struggle daily with maintaining that same authenticity in everything I do.

Speaking of angels, this thread of conversation allowed me to reflect on my own encounter. During a treatment by a highly gifted friend of mine a year ago or so.., my inner child revealed to me that I had 60 angels around me. 60??! What am I going to to do with 60 of 'em?! I had a brief sense of dis-embodied beings surrounding me left, right and center. But as quickly as this was revealed to me, was as quickly the feeling left. Life... hardships...my ego.. have cloaked them from me. But I trust they are still here and my grandmother now acts as our intermediary.

For all of you who know Fred, know what an amazing spirit he is... For those who don't, I would like to share one of my experiences with him as his client. The first time Fred ever treated me, there was such a profound sense of safety that I only feel with a select few. I allowed myself to cry and scream as I opened my heart to the feeling of a deep and ancient pain in me. If not for his love and amazing presence, I would not have been able to continue on my own journey to peel away at the layers of belief systems that no longer serve me.

Fred, from the bottom of my heart... thank you for being you. Your sister shines through you... with every person you touch.. she shines even brighter. I am grateful to know you and feel that light permeate into my own soul. I thank your angels too. You are very much loved. Love, Ann

What amazing support you have

By Leslee Horner (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 2:24 PM

What amazing support you have here Fred. I didn't read through all the comments but I wanted to thank you so much for sharing. A while back I was focusing a lot on trying to be in touch with my guides and angels. Just last week I pulled out the notebook where I had done some automatic writings. It was quite amazing the answers I received in those writings. I had forgotten how profound the connection was and how loving and inspiring their answers were.

This will add so much to the gifts you are already giving!

Wow Fred, what a story!

By Saam (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 1:30 PM

Wow Fred, what a story! Thanks so much for sharing it with us. I bet you feel light as a feather now with that weight off your shoulders.

Keep striving for the light.

I second that, Alice!

By Lissa Rankin on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 11:06 AM

I second that, Alice!

And who you are, Fred, is

By Alice (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 10:50 AM

And who you are, Fred, is just the greatest. Know that I, and I venture to speak for all of us Pinkies here, LOVE you the way you are.

Thank you for being the Pink god you are.

Amen, brother.

By Lissa Rankin on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 10:47 AM

Amen, brother.

Lissa, Yes I think you are

By Fred (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 10:44 AM

Lissa, Yes I think you are right. We are who we are. That is what makes all of us special. There are 6 billion people in the world, but there is only one "you." So, we have to accept ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally. Personally, wanting to look like Brad Pitt just wasn't working for me, so I just decided to like myself just the way I am! :-)

Fred, I love the lessons you

By Lissa Rankin on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 10:30 AM

Fred, I love the lessons you wrote. Thank you for sharing them.

But I think you hit on the most key part of this post, which is HONESTY. You are OWNING your authentic self, embracing and holding space for the person you really are. That's what makes you special, Fred (OWN it. It's true. We're all special in our own ways). So many people yearn to do what you've done here- to tell their truth, be vulnerable, take off the mask, and be whole.

I hope readers of this post feel inspired to do the same. I certainly do. We don't all have to confess everything to the world. Just telling ourselves- and maybe a trusted other- the truth is a huge leap of faith. But the more we can embody who we really are, in all facets of our lives, the more we experience inner peace.

Kittie, that is so wonderful

By Fred (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 10:24 AM

Kittie, that is so wonderful and yes animals are definitely receptive, and they respond so well to love. Bless you too!

Wow! Congratulations on

By Kittie Johnson (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 10:20 AM

Wow! Congratulations on moving forward through your fears...a hard path to stay on. Thank you for making me think & be more conscious of the wonders around me. I work with animals & they are sooo open to God's love that it's quite amazing sometimes, but they also will block when they've been abused or neglected. May God & His angels continue to bless you in your work!

I just want everyone to

By Fred (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 10:08 AM

I just want everyone to understand that this really is not about me. I live an amazing life. I am fortunate to be able to do work that I love. Many of my clients have experienced far greater suffering and pain than me.

What this is about is honesty. How can I ask a client to do something that I am unwilling to do myself? How can I ask a client to move on from the past, if I continue to cling to the past? How can I ask a client to release anger, fear, and frustration, if I am unwilling to release those feelings?

This has been a "freeing" experience, and unburdening for me. I know can tap into a deeper awareness and better serve my clients. I have questioned many times over the past several years, "what am I doing here? What should I be doing? Am I on the right path?" Now I know.

This moment is about is all about serving my clients -- that's why I am here. That's my purpose. I see it and now I fully understand it. I am so blessed, because so many people go through life without a sense of purpose. I don't. I know why I am here, and I know what I am supposed to do.

Dear wonderful Joy . . . there is nothing special about me. I'm just a guy, with flaws, faults and many imperfections. I have only made a decision to let go of anger and pain, and replace it with gratitude and love for the life I have, and for all the people around me.

When I wrote this, I was not sure what I wanted people to take away from this post. Are there lessons here? I hope to write more about this in the future, but here are a few things that come to mind to me today.

- Every moment of life is precious. That is the real gift. Brother David Steindl-Rast writes about the "sacred sensuousness" of life, and that life is meant to be savored, and every minute of it enjoyed.

- There is an infinite capacity in your heart for love. Open yourself to it, and let yourself feel it. When you open yourself to love, when you allow the loving embrace of God to enfold you, then anything becomes possible. It requires a connection, a willingness to submit, a leap of faith that you will always be protected. When you can do that, that is when you will see angels. They are everywhere, and they are always around us.

- "Sometimes, you have to go a long way out of the way, in order to come back a short distance correctly." That is a line from a play by Edward Albee called "The Zoo Story." You may feel lost, or you may feel that you are on the wrong path, or you may feel that you are not getting there, but we are the sum of our life's experience. You would not be the person you are today without your experiences. When you can accept where you are today, and know that this is just one step in your journey, you will be able to embrace the moment and enjoy the thrill of every twist and turn that life will bring to you. Every day becomes new.

Everyone here is so kind, loving and supportive. I feel at home.

Blessings, Fred

Hummm these words really sing

By Terrill Welch (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 9:34 AM

Hummm these words really sing out to be said again...

"Life can be a wonderful journey if you just allow things to unfold as they are meant to."

still smiling.... Terrill

Dearest Fred, you are a gift

By Joy Mazzola on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 8:52 AM

Dearest Fred, you are a gift to the planet and all of us who walk on it. Thank you for your courage, wisdom, presence, generosity, and light. Know that you are believed, admired, and loved in your "coming out" and always. Thank you so, so very much for giving us the privilege to witness this amazing and transformational time in your life.

YES....would love it. Feels

By Jean Kowalski (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 8:35 AM

YES....would love it. Feels like there's LOTS of angels here!!!! It's a great angel day.....

Oh yeah! Jean! I've got to

By Lissa Rankin on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 8:32 AM

Oh yeah! Jean! I've got to hook up you and Fred so you can chat more. I suspect you and Elisabeth and Fred (and maybe many more of you out there) will have a lot to learn from each other.

And thank you Melissa, as always, for your gentle and ever-present love.

What a beautiful story, Fred.

By Melissa Derbyshire (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 8:29 AM

What a beautiful story, Fred. Thank you for sharing it! And thank you for continuing to help other hurt souls heal.

Hi Fred, well I will try my

By Jean Kowalski (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 8:29 AM

Hi Fred, well I will try my message to you one more time....first one didn't go through!!! Humm.....must be the trickster angels!!!

First and foremost......CELEBRATE!!!!! Congratulations for stepping out of the box into your true and higher self! The angels have been working with you a really long time and are so thrilled to have you back.

What I see is you've allowed the fear you've been carrying to propel you forward to great heights! Through this you'll be even more of a shining star! It's like you've been on a dimmer switch....shining nicely and NOW...you've turned it totally on. WOO HOO--bring out the sunglasses!!!

Everyone has angels with them and this amazing realm that has been gifted to us, will assist in creating amazing things in life. So no shame Fred....this is real.....claim it, own it, whatever you want to call it, for it is your birthright!!!

Just wait Fred, the angels and guides will be totally at your side helping you!! You'll get more messages, see and feel more things, help more people.....Hang on, you are in for the ride of your life!!!!

Much love and light to you Fred. I hope one day we will be able to meet. You feel like a soul brother to me!!! If you ever wish to talk more....call me, I'm here!!!

Namaste' Jean Kowalski

Fred, you are truly an

By Lissa Rankin on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 8:24 AM

Fred, you are truly an inspiration. What courage you embody. Thank you.

Beth, Thank you too for

By Fred (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 8:02 AM

Beth,

Thank you too for helping me make sense of all of this! I look forward to continuing our journey together.

Dear friends, I cannot thank

By Fred (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 7:58 AM

Dear friends,

I cannot thank you all enough for your kindness, your generosity, and for the love that you have shown today. Lissa, thank you so much for your prayer and for the opportunity to share my little story here. Terrill, thank you so very much for your hug - I can feel it across the continent. Elisabeth, thank you for your wisdom - I would love to have the opportunity to learn more from you for I feel like an infant in terms of my knowledge. Ellen, thank you for sharing your story with me and inspiring me to continue along my journey. Lorraine, thank you for reminding me that none of us are ever alone -- even though for so many years I wanted to be left alone. Donna, thank you for sharing this quote - it truly does describe the situation, doesn't it. And Alice . . . there are no words that can describe my gratitude and love for your friendship, counsel and mentoring over the past weeks. I could not, would not have been able to take this leap of faith without you. You are the embodiment of the word teacher, and I am so grateful to be your student.

To answer some questions . . . I know two of their names. The angel who first came to me was Raphael. The next was Michael. The others, I do not yet know their names, but I shall ask. I find that I shall need to make a list for all the questions I need to ask!

Even before I accepted their existence and acknowledged their presence, I asked for their guidance. Before I work on any client, I ground myself, connect to the earth and to the universe, and I ask for help. I ask for the strength to put my own self aside, and for the vision to see each client as a whole human being -- creative, capable and complete. I set my intention to put aside my own self, and place my self in service for my client. And I ask for guidance to help me give her exactly what she needs.

I don't think my public announcement will change much on the surface. But, I can say that now that I have opened my heart, and set my intention to a higher level, that I feel an even closer connection to the earth and to the universe, and I no longer feel alone.

Life can be a wonderful journey if you just allow things to unfold as they are meant to.

Blessings to you all. - Fred

Fred, I am so proud of you!

By Beth Wilson (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 7:31 AM

Fred, I am so proud of you! I'm so glad you opened up to hear those angels we talked about and they told you why they were there. I know there are still questions you have and I hope working together we can help each other. It is a gift given to you and its up to you to embrace it and say thank you. I've been meditating on what to tell you and i have a few things but feel more is coming for you. Blessings abound for you my dear new friend!

That's MY favorite Marianne

By Lissa Rankin on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 6:47 AM

That's MY favorite Marianne Williamson quote too Donna (I'm rereading Return To Love right now!) Thank you for sharing it. It expresses the truth better than I've ever heard it expressed.

And thank you all for honoring Fred. What if we all did this in everyday life? It's easy to do online, but what if we took this kind of love and acceptance out into the real world? Applied it to hurting, wounded people we encounter at work, in our homes, in our schools, the grocery store, the bank...What if we accepted that the anger, bitterness, and resentments of others are all just manifestations of their fear, which heals only with love.

I honor you all. You give me such joy and hope for humanity. And Fred- Namaste. You are a treasure.

Thank you for sharing such a

By Donna Angevine (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 6:41 AM

Thank you for sharing such a personal and vulnerable part of yourself Fred. Your willingness to share despite your fears will no doubt give others courage to share what they know to be true for themselves. My very favorite Marianne Williamson quote captures what I think you have just done for others and since she says it so well, I will simply paste it here:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Thank you for liberating so many by refusing to cover your TRUE light!

Helping people is the best

By Lorraine (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 6:36 AM

Helping people is the best way to feel connected to yourself and the world. Your gift gives you a deeper insight into your client's pain and can help guide your hands to allow healing to begin. All good. I can imagine your head can get very confused as to what the angels are trying to express to you. You are never alone. You are part of The Great Spirit's team, trust.

Hi Fred I want to just

By Elisabeth Manning (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 6:32 AM

Hi Fred I want to just introduce myself and say welcome to the beginning of your true service on the planet. What a gift you give all of us to speak your truth.

May I suggest what I am getting about the four angels; they are archangels Michael, Uriel, Raphael and Gabriel. Have you asked them their names? This is my read. And they probably sit in the four corners of the room? Are they really tall, with their heads sticking through the ceiling?

Once you step more fully into the part where you take yourself seriously, the world will too. We will attract a higher consciousness of folks into our experience as we raise our own. And you will always always be supported as you step more fully into your own LIght. Have youasked them to send you healings? They can help you raise your vibration to better integrate the Light...

If you are open, the angels will help the beings you encounter (they need to go into the light, which is why you are encountering them;they know you can help them) to take them to the 'halls of light and learning for the levels appropriate for their healing'. If you ask the angels they will help you do this. I do this with my abortion and miscarriage clients so they can finally conceive. This is also your service to the beings who are wandering about on the earth plane, they are lost and tired and need to go to the light...

thank you so much for sharing this. Blessings to you. Keep trusting your unfoldment, you are soooo safe and held...Elisabeth

Fred, I've been having this

By Ellen Brown (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 6:26 AM

Fred,

I've been having this strange sense about you in the past couple days, wondering if you're okay. And maybe I was picking up on this vulnerability you were feeling.

In any case, you blew me away with your story! You are so courageous for sending it out into the universe and opening yourself up in this way.

While I've never seen angels, I had a vision once of my Dad (gone now for almost 25 years), and it was as though he was right there with me. And it freaked me out beyond words. And I've only told a few people for fear that they'd think I was crazy. So I tell you this to say that I can relate ... Maybe people think it's crazy because it's scary for them. That's what I think, sometimes ... When the inexplicable happens, people become afraid.

Anyhow, I am so sorry about your sister. It must have been so painful for you to carry all these feelings for so many years. I am glad to hear that the angels have alway been with you and that you're now more at peace about what happened to your sister and with the angels' presence in your life.

You are such a gift, Fred. I'm sure your clients know it in their hearts whether they know that you're surrounded by angels or not. You are doing such important, transformational work. As a survivor, I so grateful to know that there are people like you who are out there, helping us heal ... You are the light of the world and my healing hero!

With much gratitude,

Ellen

Oh, thank you Alice and

By Lissa Rankin on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 6:19 AM

Oh, thank you Alice and Terrill for your loving acceptance of Fred and his story (you two are a big part of the reason that he feels safe telling it, I know). He is such an amazing person, isn't he? I sit in awe and gratitude that he is in my Pink world, sharing his light and life with us all. Thank God (and the angels) for the blessing.

Fred, I believe in you, and

By Alice (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 6:14 AM

Fred,

I believe in you, and am deeply touched and moved by your story. I know from personal experience that you help people in profound ways and it is a generous and loving thing you do that empowers them to heal on emotional, spiritual and physical levels. I am blessed to be your friend, and it's wonderful that you gave me the chance to encourage you to face your fear and speak to these angels and ask them your questions. It was, simply, the healing you needed, and it took real courage. I'm proud of you, proud to know you, proud to be your friend and colleague.

I know that doing this, and sharing your story, will impact your life in personal and professional ways that will surprise you. Sharing opens doors, and being open to your gifts simply blasts these doors of opportunity open too! You have done this, Fred.

I agree with Lissa that incorporating your gifts, not necessarily advertising them, though not hiding them or ignoring them, is going to help deepen your practice even further. I also agree that you have no need for fear any longer, and it brings me joy to see you embracing your gifts now. You are an inspiration, truly, because you're recognizing the way your abilities reflect your purpose and you are living it.

Thank you, Fred. For embracing your true self, and for sharing your story. Also, thank you for listening to me. Having the chance to help you take the step to realize this important message is a blessing to me. I will always cherish our friendship and the trust you put in me.

With love, Alice

Warm hug Fred and an extra

By Terrill Welch (not verified) on Wednesday, 07/29/2009 at 6:13 AM

Warm hug Fred and an extra squeeze for owning your truth and sharing it with us. I am honoured to be part of your community in holding a space for your sacred declaration.

How much would our lives change if we acknowledged the angels and spiritual guidance available to each and everyone of us? What would it be like if this knowing was integrated into all our work and gifts as we live our lives?

Thank you Fred for "coming out" and sharing what you experience and what you know to be true with us. I am smiling deeply - that total head-to-heart-to-toe kind of smile that welcomes angels and love of god/goddess/higher power/universe/spirit.

Yes! Exhale Fred and celebrate:)

Terrill

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