Every morning when I wake up, my monkey mind inevitably roams to the realms of my to-do list. I’ll bet you can all relate. We wake up, stretch, rub our eyes, then BOOM. The chatter begins. There is grocery shopping to do. Child care to deal with. Meetings, work, presentations, homework, whatever. You’ve barely just opened your eyes, and already, you’re feeling anxious.
My daily list always includes writing for Owning Pink, checking email, tweeting on Twitter, paying attention to my daughter, cooking healthy meals, getting outside and exercise, meditating, catching up on Facebook, working on my next book, returning phone calls, and making time for sex with my husband. Some days also include seeing clients at CLEAR Center of Health, painting for my two upcoming solo shows, and meeting with women who are interested in co-creating for Owning Pink. When I look at my list, it can be quite daunting. Chances are, if I expect to accomplish everything on my to-do list daily, I will fail, and then I will feel crappy about failing. I’ll bet most of you are nodding your heads right about now. You’re thinking of your own to-do lists and feeling overwhelmed. We all try to accomplish so much that we forget the ultimate goal- happiness and inner peace.
One way I’ve learned to bring inner peace to my life is to recognize that I can’t possibly be Superwoman. I am flawed. I am human. If I expect to check off everything on my daily list, I will always let myself down. Who wants to feel like a failure every day? So I opt not to let that happen. Instead, when I think about my upcoming day, I consciously choose what I will let slide. Today is Monday and I spent all weekend with my family, so I will probably put my nose to the grindstone and neglect my daughter a bit. I will eat left-overs so I don’t have to cook. I will probably skip meditating (sadly, it’s too often the first one to go). Today, I will focus on writing my book today. I will try to go for a hike because I skipped it the last two days so I could spend time with my family. My husband and I have a sex date tonight, so I will stop work early enough to be present for him.
This way, at the end of the day, I have been mindful of what gets done and what doesn’t. Instead of kicking myself for not checking off everything on my list, I will pat myself on the back for doing the things I chose to do. I will celebrate being good enough, even though I let some things slide. I will honor myself for a job well done. I will remember that inner peace is more important than to-do lists and accomplishments.
What about you? Are you ready to give yourself a break? Okay. Get ready for today’s Mojo Monday exercise.
1. Make a list of all the things you plan to accomplish for each day of this week. Label them Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.
2. Review your list and determine whether there’s any chance you’ll actually accomplish everything on your list. Really. Can you do it all?
3. Sort through every day’s list and decide what you will let slide. Try not to let the same thing slide every day. (I know. I know. I’ve gotta start meditating). Be mindful of how you give yourself permission to be human. Decide what you most want to accomplish and put stars by those items. Now cross out as many of the unstarred items as you possibly can. Commit to putting your full attention towards those items you’ve deemed most important.
4. Surrender the rest of the things on the list. Let them go. Set the intention of letting them slide. If you find yourself with extra time at the end of the day, you can always add them back on, but then you’ll feel a huge sense of accomplishment, instead of the usual sense of failure.
5. At the end of the day, when you’ve made progress on your starred items, celebrate your success. Reward yourself by massaging your feet with a scented lotion or sitting down with a good book. Honor the good work you have done, reveling in the sense of accomplishment you feel.
Try this out, Pinkies. I swear it works. It doesn’t mean you’re a slacker. It just means you’re being kind to yourself. You’re giving yourself permission to be human. You’re honoring the hard work you do every day trying to keep life moving. You’re bringing yourself one step closer to inner peace. Be compassionate with yourself. Practice loving-kindness towards YOU.
What will you let slide today?
With love for myself, even when I can’t accomplish everything,
Lissa
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Comments
I am an avid 'to do' list
By Dawn Herring (not verified) on Monday, 10/05/2009 at 7:38 AMI am an avid 'to do' list maker. I generally write one every day especially if there are things I know that must be done. Some of the items end up getting done later in the week, which is fine. The starred items are priority, especially office work for our electrical contracting business. I usually try to categorize the list by type: housework, errands, phone calls, office work, online activity, and writing assignments. I notice when I push myself to get too much done in a day, my body suffers for it. Balance is key. I know when one more thing is too much. Taking care of ourselves is essential. I enjoy journaling and reading every night before bed. I know the importance of refreshing myself after a busy day!
Dawn Herring JournalWriter Freelance Be Refreshed!
Yes, of course Judy. That's
By Lissa Rankin on Tuesday, 09/01/2009 at 2:32 PMYes, of course Judy. That's inevitable. Life balance is more important than balance in the day to day. Thanks for the reminder.
I think instead of fighting
By Judy, The Journaling Jeniius (not verified) on Tuesday, 09/01/2009 at 2:29 PMI think instead of fighting to find balance in every day, accept that some days are NOT in balance and require focus and dedication. Then be out of balance in the other direction on another day.
Thank you Shannon & Mom! It's
By Lissa Rankin on Tuesday, 09/01/2009 at 1:13 PMThank you Shannon & Mom! It's still a daily struggle for me, the struggle to find balance. But I continue to set the intention and feel like I'm getting closer. Took a 2 hour hike with a friend today. Wrote all afternoon for my book. Tonight, I'll play with Siena and cook dinner with the new produce our organic coop garden delivers. What will give today? Time with my husband (he got some yesterday!). TIme for silence (again, dammit). TIme to write for Owning Pink. But that's okay. I am enough, just the way I am.
This was very pertinent to
By Shannon Elsom (not verified) on Tuesday, 09/01/2009 at 12:57 PMThis was very pertinent to what I am working on right now. It is my greatest challenge. I do too much and have a hard time pulling back until I finally get so crowded out that my soul revolts and I have no choice but to unplug from everything. I am seeking balance and I love the way you have outlined this. It is very doable. I also see that it would be a very potent exercise. Thank you so much for sharing it! It is coming at an opportune time in my life.
I learned this technique many
By trish (not verified) on Tuesday, 09/01/2009 at 2:43 AMI learned this technique many years ago from a book I can't remember now. One additional thing it says to do is take the stuff you don't accomplish on the list and put it to the top of the next day's list, even if it is read your book or have sex with hubby And it agreed that you must put something on the list for you or you can't sustain. Must go mu list is long today: clean kitchen, do hair, deliver chicken soup to my dying friend, work the rummage sale at church ( again today), then my singing group and maybe get some time to work on my book. For me..work on book.
Amen, sisters! As Deepak
By Lissa Rankin on Monday, 08/31/2009 at 4:54 PMAmen, sisters! As Deepak Chopra says, set goals but release your attachment to the outcome. We can't run amok without a plan, but if we get so tied up in planning, we forget to live.
I could not function without
By Megan Monique Harner on Monday, 08/31/2009 at 4:13 PMI could not function without my to-do list! Being aware of what needs to be done and keeping mindful that not everything will be complete is key! Failure only exists if we decide that it does.
As a to-do list addict, I
By Judy, The Journaling Jeniius (not verified) on Monday, 08/31/2009 at 6:30 AMAs a to-do list addict, I agree, this is great advice. I've learned to put "ME" on my to-do list. OK. Not every day, but at least some of the time. Certainly Journaling is "ME" time, even if sometimes it turns into a to-do list or creating new things for my business.
Judy, The Journaling Jenius™