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Archive for September, 2009

An Integrative Medicine Doctor’s Thoughts On The Swine Flu (H1N1 Virus) Vaccine

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

Hiya Pinkies, and Happy Healthy Thursday!

Unless you’ve been sleeping under a rock for the past 5 months, you’ve heard all the crazed, paranoid, panicked fuss about the H1N1 influenza (Swine Flu) virus and corresponding vaccine. So let me just start by saying, PLEASE! Don’t panic. This is just the flu. While it can be deadly, it does not appear to be any more so than the seasonal flu, so RELAX. This is no time for conspiracy theories, anxiety, paranoia, and fear. Take a deep breath. IN OUT (don’t you feel better already?) Educate yourself from reputable sources, and trust that you will be just fine.

To add further chaos to the mix, the swine flu vaccine will soon be available, and in some cases, mandatory. Whew! You wanna get Americans up in arms? Tell them something in mandated. We cringe all the way back to our British roots, and it brings out the rebellious child in all of us. Don’t be messing with our freedom.

So what’s all the fuss about and what’s a Pinkie to do about it? It’s all so confusing. Who can you trust? Does the government really have our best interests at heart? Unfortunately, these are questions I won’t be able to answer for you. But I wanted to at least make an attempt to collect some of the data for you so you can make up your own minds.

In the integrative medicine world, many oppose vaccination in general. I don’t tend to agree with blanket statements. My analytical mind prefers to look at data and analyze what we know, integrating it with what my gut feels and what I think. In the case of the Swine flu vaccine, my approach leaves me feeling baffled, so I can only imagine how confused the rest of you Pinkies must feel.

In this post, I will attempt to answer some of the questions you Pinkies have asked Owning Pink. (We received hundreds of questions about this over the past few months, so forgive me if we fail to answer your exact question. Bear with us, Pinkies. It’s all for the sake of the greater good, I swear!). Later, I’ll offer some Pink Tips to stay healthy this flu season, vaccine or no vaccine. Here we go. Deeeeeep breath…

Who is at high risk for swine flu (H1N1) infection?

According to the Center For Disease Control (CDC):

Children less than 2 years of age
Individuals >65 years of age (but this risk factor is tricky. Although the elderly are at higher risk of influenza complications, they do not appear to become infected as easily as younger people, perhaps because this age group has already developed immunity to some related viral strain that young people have not.)
Individuals <19 who are receiving long-term aspirin therapy and might be at risk for Reye syndrome after influenza infection
Pregnant women
Individuals with chronic medical conditions requiring ongoing medical care, including:

Chronic pulmonary disease, including asthma (particularly if systemic steriods have been required during the past year)

Cardiovascular disease (with the exception of isolated high blood pressure)

Cancer

Chronic renal insufficiency

Chronic liver disease

Diabetes mellitus

Hemoglobinopathies such as sickle cell disease

Immunosuppression, including HIV infection, organ or stem cell transplantation, and conditions requiring immunosuppressant medication

Individuals who have any condition that can compromise handling of respiratory secretions (eg, cognitive dysfunction, spinal cord injuries, seizure disorders, neuromuscular disorders, cerebral palsy, metabolic conditions)

Children with an underlying metabolic disorder who are unable to tolerate prolonged fasting

If I might have been exposed to swine flu, should I take Tamiflu?

Most healthy individuals who develop an illness that may be swine flu and appear to be recovering do not need medication. The majority of people recover completely without treatment. So who needs drugs? Here’s what the CDC has to say:

Anyone with suspected H1N1 influenza who is not getting better or develops complications such as pneumonia
Anyone who is hospitalized for H1N1 infection
Antivirals should be given as prophylaxis to anyone in the high risk group above who has been exposed to a case of suspected or confirmed H1N1 infection.
Health care workers who were not using proper precautions and came into close contact with an infectious patient

The CDC does not recommend antivirals for healthy children and adults who may have been exposed in the community. Why don’t they want to protect us? Because most healthy individuals will recover just fine and, in the face of a pandemic, drugs need to be reserved for those who need them most. If you or your loved one winds up in the hospital seriously ill, you want to be sure there’s enough medication around.

When will a vaccine be available?

We expect this vaccine to be available by mid-October.

Will the H1N1 vaccine be effective?

This is a very good question, and frankly, it’s too soon to really say. The New England Journal of Medicine reported one trial of 240 adults who received 2 doses of the H1N1 vaccine. Within 3 weeks of vaccination, 97% of individuals given the lower dose and 93% given the higher dose developed antibodies. Will these antibodies actually protect you from getting the virus, given that it may mutate and evolve? No one knows.

(Reference: Greenberg, ME, Lai, MH, Hartel, GF, et al. Response after one dose of a monovalent influenza A (H1N1) 2009 vaccine — Preliminary report. N Engl J Med 2009)

The efficacy of the regular seasonal flu vaccine depends on how much the virus mutates between when the vaccine is manufactured and when you actually get it. For example, during the 2004-2005 flu season, there was only a 5 % match between what was in the vaccine and the actual virus that spread during that flu season. As a result, that vaccine was only 10% effective. In 2006-2007, there was a 91% match, which made the vaccine 52% effective. As you can see, it’s a very imperfect science.

(Reference: Belongia, EA, Kieke, BA, Donahue, JG, et al. Effectiveness of inactivated influenza vaccines varied substantially with antigenic match from the 2004-2005 season to the 2006-2007 season. J Infect Dis 2009; 199:159.)

Will the H1N1 vaccine be safe?

Ah, the million dollar question. The truth is that nobody knows. Back in 1976, approximately 45 million people in the US were immunized against a type of swine flu, but the program was discontinued, in part because an increased incidence of Guillain-Barre syndrome was detected among those who were vaccinated. To detect a risk such as this, between 409,00 and 970,000 individuals would have to be tested in clinical trials to determine the safety of this vaccine. So while studies of very small populations do not show any significant risk, these studies are looking at hundreds, not hundreds of thousands of people, and they span only brief times.

(Reference: Evans, D, Cauchemez, S, Hayden, FG. “Prepandemic” immunization for novel influenza viruses, “swine flu” vaccine, guillain-barre syndrome, and the detection of rare severe adverse events. J Infect Dis 2009; 200:321.)

Many are rightfully concerned about the risk of vaccinating an enormous segment of our population, especially when this population includes particularly susceptible young children and pregnant women. The CDC reports that they expect a similar safety profile as they see with the seasonal flu vaccine. So what about the 1976 flu vaccine campaign that got halted? Good question.

For more, read this great article on the Guillain-Barre vaccine.

Will the vaccine have the adjuvants I’ve heard can cause Gulf War Syndrome and other complications?

According to the CDC, only vaccines without adjuvants will be used in the US during the 2009 season, which includes both the nasal spray vaccines and the injections. Because the safety of these adjuvants is unproven, the CDC reports that there is no plan at this time to recommend a 2009 H1N1 influenza vaccine with an adjuvant. What does that say about 2010? Uh…they’re not saying.

Who should get the vaccine first?

According to the CDC, the first to be vaccinated should be:

Pregnant women
Household and caregiver contacts of children younger than 6 months of age (e.g. parents, siblings, and daycare providers)
Health care and emergency medical services personnel
Children and young adults from 6 months through 24 years of age
Persons aged 25 through 64 years who have medical conditions associated with a higher risk of influenza complications

Once it is evident that there is enough vaccine, the CDC recommends that people over 65 be vaccinated.

Can I still get the H1N1 vaccine if I’m allergic to eggs?

If you have a severe allergy to eggs, your doctor will help you weigh the risks and benefits. If you’re healthy and have an egg allergy, you may be better off skipping it.

If I get the H1N1 vaccine, does that mean I can skip the regular flu vaccine this year?

No. They’re not targeting the same strains of virus. If you are high risk and choose to be vaccinated this flu season, you will need to vaccinate against both.

If I’m interested in getting the vaccine, how can I find it?

Vaccines will be allocated to health care providers shortly, so your doctor will likely receive the vaccine. If not, call your local public health department.

Is it true that the government is mandating that everyone be vaccinated?

No. But it is true that New York state has mandated that health care workers involved in direct patient care be vaccinated. Many are up in arms. But the edict is clear- get vaccinated or get fired. Are other vaccination mandates coming? I sure hope not, at least not until we know more about this particular vaccine.

I’ve heard that I can’t sue a vaccine manufacturer if something bad happens as the result of getting the H1N1 vaccine. Is this true?

Well, in this country, anyone can sue anyone, as proven by the women who took me to malpractice court for stealing her labia (no kidding. Totally true story. Only lawsuit ever brought against me. And yes, she was psycho and the case was dropped, but not until 3 years and 3 lawsuits later…but don’t get me started, Pinkies!)

But yes, the vaccine manufacturers have been granted immunity from legal liability in the US due to a law recently signed into effect.

Can we trust what the CDC has to say?
I honestly can’t say. I have to say that, as a physician, I have always trusted the CDC as a reliable source of objective information. But I admit that I’m shocked at how they’ve handled this pandemic so far. Maybe it’s my own naivety. I admit. Pandemics are not my specialty, and that’s their job. But the reaction of the CDC seems out of proportion to the nature of the disease, when I hunt for how I feel in my gut. After all, it’s the flu, and I live in California, surrounded by great hospitals and fabulous doctors (so maybe I’m spoiled). But seriously, people. Must we rush into a massive vaccination campaign without much data? Where’s the evidence to support safety, efficacy, and necessity? It makes a thoughtful doctor/mother/writer/leader stop and pause…

What can you do to prevent swine flu, aside from getting vaccinated?

So Pinkies, is your head spinning by now? Mine certainly is. Here are a few tried-and-true Pink prevention techniques that will keep the odds in your favor this flu season:

Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands. (Say it three times over. This is your new Pink mantra, and it’s the number one way to avoid getting swine flu). Also, avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth, which can introduce the virus into your receptive passageways. If you cough or sneeze, use a tissue and throw the tissue away afterwards. This will help protect you and everyone else out there who is trying to avoid swine flu.
Eat immune boosting foods, and steer clear of sugar. Here are five that can help you.
Citrus. Loaded with Vitamin C, citrus fruits are a yummy, easy way to support your immune system. Grab a glass of OJ, or make some lemonade. Even better, mix lots of lemons into clean water with stevia (a natural sweetener) and cayenne pepper. Not only is it a zingy tasty treat filled with Vitamin C, it also alkalinizes your body, which helps it fight infection.
Red chili peppers (cayenne). Cayenne pepper has long been appreciated for its medicinal properties and can help your body during states of emergency. So chili it up for good health!
Garlic. Filled with immune-boosting mojo, garlic has been used to treat everything from the common cold to the Plague. So load up on garlic and give your body a fighting chance.
Carrots. Bursting with beta-carotene, carrots give your body a leg up when you’re fighting infection. Drink a few carrot juices to get enough in your body. Sweet potatoes and spinach also contain lots of beta carotene, so eat up.
Fish. Fish like salmon, mackeral, and tuna are filled with omega-3 fats, which support white blood cells in fighting infection. Sushi anyone?
Snooze, baby, snooze! Sleep is underrated. When you’re well rested, your body fights infection more effectively. Check out these tips from naturopath Dr. Nicole Sundene.
Give up alcohol and caffeine for a while. Staying sober and decaffeinated helps your body mount immune responses.
Guzzle green juice instead. If you have a juicer stashed under your counter, now is the time to pull it out and load it with kale, celery, cucumber, swiss chard, lemon, spinach, ginger, garlic- whatever you’ve got around that can support your good health. Also, avoid processed foods and eat a whole foods diet.
Try not to drink out of the same cup as others. And avoid sick people, if you can.
Hydrate. Drink, drink, drink pure clean water. It keeps your mucous thin and helps you mucous membranes resist infection.
Try not to touch your nose, eyes, and mouth.
Get your exercise. While this may not be the best time to go to a crowded gym, a long hike in nature can do wonders for your immune system, your general health, and your psyche.
RELAX, and don’t panic. Stress weakens your immune system and makes you more susceptible to infection. Try meditation, deep breathing exercises, guided imagery, yoga, walks in nature, or whatever works to chill you out.

Supplements I Recommend to my Patients For Prevention & Treatment of Swine Flu:

(We offer these at CLEAR Center of Health, where I work. Some of these may not be available over-the-counter)

10 Mushroom Formula.
Thymuril.
Echinacea. My favorite is Esberitox by Integrative Therapeutics.
Vitamin C supplements. If you take extra, it gets excreted in your urine, so it won’t hurt you to load up.
Probiotic bacteria, which alters the intestinal flora and helps your body resist infection.
Viraclear, made by Integrative Therapeutics.
High dose Vitamin D plus high dose Vitamin A.
If you’re feeling under the weather, take Elderberry syrup. It’s a natural anti-viral and can be particularly useful if your community runs out of Tamiflu and Relenza.

Will I get vaccinated? Will I vaccinate my 3 year old daughter?

Honestly, Pinkies, I haven’t decided. If a doctor doesn’t know for sure, it’s no wonder some of you may be confused. This has all happened so quickly. Am I anti-vaccination? No. Not for some things. But do I feel the need to inject a poorly tested vaccine that may or not protect me against something unlikely to cause serious complications in my healthy family? Maybe not. After all, this is not ebola we’re talking about. You’re not likely to bleed out of your eyeballs and croak when you get it.

Frankly, I think everyone needs to take a bit of a chill pill. (Or take a good long hike and start meditating!) But then no one’s asking me.

Well, no one but you Pinkies, who keep asking away.

So anyway, this is the best I can do for right now. I’ll try to keep you updated as more information comes in.

Oink oink (and big Pink love),

Lissa

p.s. For more sanity-saving, stress-reducing tips, check out this article on H1N1 by Mojo Mentors Lakenda Wallace and Simone da Rosa, Owning Pink’s Get Happy! Less Stress More Life Coaches.

Tags: 10 mushroom formula, 1976, adjuvants, autism, CDC, cdc recommendations, center for disease control, children, echinacea, elderberry syrup, flu mist, flu prevention, foods for flu prevention, foods for swine flu prevention, green juice, guillan barre syndrome, gulf war syndrome, H1N1, h1n1 vaccine, health care workers, high risk, holistic medicine, integrative medicine, integrative therapeutics, Kitchen Table Medicine, mandated vaccination, mandatory vaccination, natural medicine, natural remedies for swine flu, New York, nicole Sundene, prevent swine flu, probiotics, relenza, safety, seasonal flu, seasonal flu vaccine, swine flu, swine flu diet, swine flu vaccine, swine flu vaccine safety, tamiflu, thymuril, vaccination, vaccine, viraclear, vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin d, WHO, who should get vaccinated against H1N1
Posted in Alternative Health, Green Juice Cleansing, Healthy Thursday, Owning Health, Owning Your Body, Raw Foods, Swine Flu | 42 Comments »

Reclaiming Your Body and Spirit – Loving Touch and Trauma Recovery

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

Pinkies, hold on tight for another incredibly powerful post by the original Pink God, Wellness Guru Fred Krazeise. Today, with his usual gentleness and generosity, Fred offers wisdom to Pinkies looking to Own their Bodies and their Pasts (and who among us doesn’t fall into that category?) With deep thanks and without further ado, here’s Fred.

************

Sometimes, you have to go a long way out of the way, in order to come back a short distance correctly. – From “The Zoo Story,” by Edward Albee

Time: The Present

I’ve come to my current career very late in my life. After working for many years in both government and in the corporate world, I walked away from that life 5 years ago. I wanted to do something completely different. I wanted to help people in a different way. So, I became a massage therapist and coach, and now just like the character in Albee’s play, I feel that I’m on my proper path and I’m on a collision course with my destiny.

The story doesn’t stop there however. I could be working in a spa somewhere, doing hot stone massage, or lavender salt scrub treatments (which are both great by the way!). No, my path is very different. I work with women who are victims and survivors of abuse and trauma. The majority of my clients are victims of sexual abuse or domestic violence.

In many respects trauma is something that we’ve all experienced to one degree or another. You may have been in or have witnessed an accident or other traumatic event. You might have received invasive surgery. Or, you may have experienced violence at the hand of a partner or spouse. Trauma is all around us, and we are all survivors.

Most of us actually diminish the effects of trauma to the detriment of our physical and emotional health. Victims quickly learn survival and coping skills. They dissociate from their bodies. In extreme cases, they become numb from the effects of drugs or alcohol, and they begin to lose feeling in their bodies. The pain is numbed out, but this process is not selective. Victims also cannot feel joy, and they numb out their capacity to feel safe and alive and enjoy the world around them.

So, the work of the therapist here is, to gently and lovingly, reintroduce touch back to the victim. A sensitive and caring therapist guides clients through this process, asking “Where is the pain or tension?” and always asking permission to touch. Over the course of the work, the client slowly begins to take residence in her body again.

You may think that I have taken an odd or unusual path. I have wondered about that myself, especially in the beginning. When I first started my practice, I wondered, “Why are these women coming to see me? What is it that I’m putting out there?” But as I have moved down this path, the answer became clearer to me, and as you might expect, the answer was really right in front of me all the time.

You see, I have witnessed and have experienced abuse first hand and I too am a survivor of sorts.

Time: The Past

My father was a functional alcoholic. On the surface, he was friendly and gregarious. But, when he drank a very dark side came out. I witnessed my father slamming my sister into a wall and beating her for some infraction that I no longer am able to remember. I routinely cowered in my room; afraid to come out as my father abused my mother, listening to shouting and screaming matches that seemed to go on for hours, but I’m sure were really only minutes.

When I was four years old, I disobeyed my father. I wanted to go outside and play. It had been raining and there was water everywhere. My father said, “Don’t get wet or you will be very sorry!”

I went outside, and as little boys are likely to do, I jumped in puddles and splashed around everywhere.

I got wet. I was soaked to the skin.

When my mother called me for dinner, I got scared. I ran and hid in a little secret garden space in a hedgerow located on the side of our house. Perhaps if I stayed there long enough I would dry. But, I was so wet that I began to shiver. I sat there, listening to my mother call me, and then my father. I heard footsteps and then I saw my father’s face. He saw that I was soaked.

The last thing I remember was the look of anger on his face as grabbed my arm and pulled me violently into the air. I vaguely remember the first blow, and I have no further recollections after that. I have tried over the years to remember, but the memories are completely blacked out. I can remember, several hours later, seeing my father in the darkened living room watching television. I remember walking over to the sofa, asking him if I could sit next to him, and asking him if he still loved me. But, I cannot remember anything else. Those minutes, those moments, are completely lost to me.

As I grew older, the yelling, screaming and fighting continued. When I was sixteen, it finally stopped.

It was a particularly violent argument. My father had been drinking again and the usual scene was being played out. I was in my room, fearing the worst when I heard my father say to my mother, “I’m going to kill you.” I will never forget those words.

The rest is a blur to me, but I remember running to the kitchen and stepping in between my father and mother. I stared into his eyes and saw the rage.

I was terrified when I said, “Don’t you touch my mother.”

My fists clenched and I was ready to take the first blow, but I was determined that this would end, right then and there.

He just stared at me. Once again, time seemed to stop for me. It seemed like an eternity. My father mumbled something. I stiffened, ready to fight back, my fists clenched. He mumbled something again, and then he softened and turned away. My mother just looked at me and said, “Go to bed. It’s ok.”

That was the last violent time I remember. Yes, there were the disagreements that most families have. But, the screaming and the shouting stopped. I felt I could breathe at last. We all could.

Time: The Present. A Typical Session.

Working with trauma victims / survivors is very different. It’s not a typical massage session.

Initial sessions are usually done with the client fully clothed and every session is different, and tailored to the specific needs of my clients. There is no protocol, no cookbook. I do start with the detailed physical and medical history, and I ask a lot of questions about a client’s emotional health. I need to understand what she is ready for, and what she is willing to undertake. I usually ask a very simple question. “Is there anything in your past that you would feel comfortable sharing with me today?”

I almost always start with some sort of visualization and breathing exercise. I ask the client to take stock of her body, to scan it and I ask if there is any place that feels pain, tension, or feels empty. The client has to set the tone of the session. It is her session, not mine. She sets the pace. I will ask if there is an area of her body where she would like to receive work, and then I ask if she would like some contact in that area.

Sometimes, I will ask her to touch the part of her body where she would like to receive work. Permission is always required, as the goal of the session is to bring the client back into her body, to reconnect the mind and body, and to awaken the client. Throughout this process, I’m constantly checking in with the client to identify any feelings that may be taking shape.

The most important aspect of the work is to pay attention and be exceptionally present for her. This is not the time for me to be thinking about the errands I have to run on my way home from the office, or what I have to do tomorrow, or what I’d like to have for dinner or lunch. I am constantly monitoring my client’s reactions to see how my touch affects her. Is she clenching her teeth, her fists? Is her brow furrowed? Has her breathing pattern changed?

Subtle touch and energy modalities such as Reiki and Cranial Sacral Therapy can also be effective. I have taught Reiki to clients – there are a number of self-healing and grounding exercises that can help to restore a person. I also focus on mindfulness and teach conscious breathing and other meditative practices to help a client live in this moment, in this now. Over time, they learn to live one day at a time.

It takes time. But, a sensitive therapist, within the therapeutic environment, can help a client fully connect mind and body, and help the client to safely release the sensations associated with the trauma or abuse. It is only through this kind of release that you can truly heal. Unless you completely let go, your body continues to experience the trauma at a subconscious level. When we fully let go of the pain of our past, we can embrace life in the present, and experience the love and beauty of living in the moment.

Where to turn for help:

You’re scared. You’re frightened. You feel alone and feel that you have no place to go.

But, you are not alone and you can get help. Most major metropolitan areas have rape crisis centers. There are also resources for domestic violence.

In an emergency: Call 911 if you need immediate assistance of if you’ve already been hurt.

For advice and support: If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is a nonprofit organization that provides crisis intervention, information and referral to victims of domestic violence, perpetrators, friends and families. Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services.

For rape or sexual assault: RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network).RAINN is the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization. At any given moment, more than 1,100 trained volunteers are on duty and available to help victims at RAINN-affiliated crisis centers across the country.

To reach a qualified counselor for help, call 1-800-656-HOPE.

For a safe place to stay: Contact your state’s branch of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence or another local organization. For contact information, visit http://womenshealth.gov/violence/state/index.cfm

If you are being abused please remember:

You are not to blame for being battered or mistreated.
You are not the cause of your partner’s abusive behavior.
You deserve to be treated with respect.
You deserve a safe and happy life.
Your children deserve a safe and happy life.
You are not alone. There are people waiting to help.

If you are a survivor, it is indeed possible to reclaim your body and reconnect to your spirit. It takes courage, and it can be done.

Forgiveness

As for me, I’m still working to reclaim the memories of that four year old boy. I want those memories back, even if they are painful. They are mine. They have made me who I am today. I want to know what happened. I need to know what happened so that I will never forget. I own those memories, and I will recover them.

Over time, I forgave my father. I never fully understood why he would boil over in such a rage when he drank. Perhaps it was something in his childhood. He rarely would share his emotions or his experiences. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he lost both of his parents when he was only 5 years old.

Or perhaps his rage was caused by his experiences in WWII. He fought with the US Army throughout Europe and would never, ever talk about what he did, or what he saw. Post-traumatic stress syndrome was barely known back then. They called it “shell shock,” or “battle fatigue,” and treatment was inconsistent and usually ineffective.

There always was an uneasy tension between us created by the memory of that night when I was 16 years old. My father is an enigma to me and I will never know him. He passed away in 1984. We spent the intervening years with small talk and chit chat. We never, ever talked about that night, or about any of the hundreds of nights when there was anger and violence. He’s gone now, and I missed my opportunity to get to know and understand him.

If he were here today, I would have the courage to reach out to him. I have different skills now, and I’m a much different person. It is the courage that only comes from having traveled a long way out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.

Peace,
Fred

Tags: abuse, alcoholic, domestic violence, edward albee, Empowered and Fit, forgiveness, Fred Krazeise, healing, loving touch, massage therapy, mind body connection, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, PTSD, RAINN, rape, reclaiming your body, reiki, sexual assault, survivor, the zoo story, trauma, victim
Posted in Guest Pinkies, Owning Joy After Loss, Owning You, Owning Your Body, Owning Your Family, Personal Empowerment | 12 Comments »

Eat, Pray, YOU: An Evening With Elizabeth Gilbert

Monday, September 28th, 2009

Me, Liz Gilbert, and Pinkie friend Lynn Stasior

Tonight, I had the pleasure to breathe the same air as Elizabeth Gilbert, who I’ll fondly call Liz, now that we’re buds after all (at least that’s how all of us sitting in the Marin Center felt tonight). I don’t know about you Pinkies, but when I read Liz Gilbert’s memoir Eat, Pray, Love, I felt like Liz was my twin separated at birth, as if her book spoke the truths that had been muddling my mind, which I had been thus far unable to articulate. I ate up everything I could on her website, gobbling up little morsels of her to feed my soul. I couldn’t wait for her next book. I added to my bucket list, “Take a yoga class with Liz Gilbert.” (Does tonight count?)

The First Time, the Universe Led Me Down Another Road

I meant to see Liz last year when she and Anne Lamott were having a live conversation in Marin, but alas, it conflicted with the fated trip to Esalen that changed my life. I took it as a Sign from the Universe that I just wasn’t meant to see Liz Gilbert, whose Eat, Pray, Love I had just devoured at the time. What I didn’t realize was that, without really meaning to, I was about to start walking a path not dissimilar to hers. Not to suggest that I ate my way through Italy, prayed in India, or found balance in Bali. But my spiritual path, which had begun a couple years earlier, was about to get really interesting.

Now, a year and a half later, my friend Lynn invited me to join her for An Evening With Elizabeth Gilbert. Maybe the Universe wanted me to go this time. I said yes, and boy, am I glad I did.

What’s Liz Like?

Liz is as unassuming, funny, wise, and self-deprecating, as you might imagine. She told a story about the time she was flying from Santa Barbara to Los Angeles to give a big talk, and she arrived three hours early for the flight but somehow missed her plane while sitting right at the gate, thinking about Nerf guns. (I would SO do something like that! Details have never been my strong suit. But isn’t that why we all love Liz, because she brings out the humanity in us all and makes us feel less alone?)

She said things like, “If you’re like me, you see life not so much as a journey, but more like a series of final exams that add up to your final grade. And if you miss you the flight that’s supposed to take you to that big event, then you’ve really fucked up. I tried to think of a way to excuse it, like a petulant child would, but you ultimately realize that there’s no way out but to own it.” (Haven’t we ALL been there?) Turns out Liz had to grovel to those in charge of the event, run for a later flight, beg someone to drive 150 MPH to drop her off, and ended up being a mere half hour late. And oh yeah – along the way, she lost her notes. And her hairbrush. Which was the final straw that lead to her meltdown.

People Expect Her To Be Some Sort of Guru

So there she is, kicking herself, winging it, with bad hair. And what do people expect her to talk about? About how she got her life together. Because that’s the happy ending we want. That’s how it’s supposed to be, “Like life is some Soduku puzzle I’m supposed to have figured out.” We laugh. Liz says, “I mean, are you fucking kidding me? Since I wrote Eat, Pray, Love, people assume not only have I gotten my life together, but that I am going to be able to tell them how to get their life together.”

She’s No Therapist or Mind Reader

She goes on to tell us about the woman with the crazed eyes who asked her, flat out, “Should I get a divorce?” Liz said, “You’ll know, if you think about this question for just one minute, that I can’t possibly answer that question for you.” And then the woman’s crazed face melted into a real face, a face so depleted, with so much pain, that Liz wound up in tears, because she KNOWS that face. She knows it because it has been her, because she remembers how you feel like you want to hand your power over to someone else and let them simply tell you what to do. There’s a longing to think that someone else has solved it, that they know how to help you. And yet, Liz admits, she is not this person. She says, “In your ascension to yourself, you go forward, then you plateau for a while, then you fall back 10 steps. Then you move forward again.” But writing your truth doesn’t make you a guru. It doesn’t make you God. It’s a lot of pressure, when people expect that of you.

Liz Gilbert Talks About Pleaping (Well, Sort Of)

Liz Gilbert talked about Pleaping (taking a Pink leap of faith). Okay, so maybe she didn’t exactly use that word. But when someone asked how she found the courage to change her life, she said, “You take a leap when you get to a place of the alternative being untenable. Nobody does what I did unless you can’t do what you’re doing any more. The only thing worse than not leaving is staying, and the only thing worse than staying is not leaving. An earthquake shakes your life, and your status quo becomes unbearable.” If you’re thinking about pleaping, and you’re not at that point, it may not be time yet.

I’m No Liz Gilbert, But I Understand What She Means

Around this time, I felt the tears start rolling. Why? I’m not sure. My tearducts have a mind of their own. But I suspect it has something to do with you Pinkies. Eat, Pray, Love affected me profoundly. When I read it, I had nearly finished the memoir I wrote, which has yet to be published. Reading her book gave me the guts to revisit it, to unleash my truth and rewrite my narrative. Shortly afterwards, the idea of Owning Pink began to unfurl. Her courage inspired mine, which has since inspired the courage of many of you, as your beautiful e-mails and messages bear witness to the transformation you are undergoing, as I transform on my journey. There are certainly tears of joy and awe shed over this alone.

She’s Only Human, Just Like Me

Liz Gilbert did many other things in our evening with her. She read a chapter from her upcoming book, Committed, about how she came to peace with marrying Felipe, the man with whom she fell in love at the end of Eat, Pray, Love and whom Homeland Security forced her to marry. (You’ll love it! It’s out in January and will be a must-read. Maybe we’ll make it our first Owning Pink Book Club book!) She answered Q&A from the crowd with her signature wit, candor, and inspiring voice.

While I enjoyed all these things, my own take-home message was something more. I realized that I am guilty of projecting onto Liz Gilbert all sort of things that may not be true. First of all, I assume she is my best friend, right? Isn’t she yours? And yet, when I met her in person at the end of the talk, I realized I don’t know her at all. I may know a few personal details she has chosen to share with me via her book, but do I know her? The real Liz Gilbert, the private stuff she would share with a real best friend? Nope. When she awkwardly put her arm around me for a photo op, it felt lovely, of course, but were we sisters? Nope.

I could see in her tired face that, although we all wanted something from her (books she could sign, photos with her, a few words of encouragement), she probably just wanted a quiet place to get away from the hustle and all the gushing attention. For one moment, we made eye contact, and I suddenly took on her energy and felt what I sometimes feel when I am the center of attention in a crowd: fatigue, shyness, a sense of being a bit overwhelmed. And yet, when I asked her what it’s like to be the subject of sudden fame, she said, graciously, “What’s to fear about people who love Eat, Pray, Love? It’s not like they’re Stephen King fans.” Right on, sister.

The Guru Is Within You

So why the tears in all this? I realize that I had been projecting onto Liz Gilbert. I had imbued her with all the goodness that exists within me, all the sense of possibility. In her, I saw the possibility of myself, filled with spontaneous joy and the richness of Italian indulgence. I saw the spiritual seeker, struggling to meditate and find God, all while fighting the monkey mind. I saw the adventure girl, struggling to find balance and love after a divorce of my own. What did I see in Liz Gilbert? I saw the best of ME. Because I know me so well, and her book shone the light on that part of me I want to nourish, I fell in love with her. I wanted to know her. I think, in some small way, I wanted to BE her.

Italy, India, Indonesia

I’ve heard that there are women out there replicating Liz Gilbert’s pilgrimage, following her exact footsteps, searching for their own Giovanni in Italy, their own Richard From Texas at the same ashram in India, seeking out Liz’s Bali healers Ketut Liyer and Wyann. Do they think that walking in her footsteps will make them brave and spiritual, like Liz? Don’t they realize she chose her path, sought healing in her way, and called upon her own experience to figure out how to mend a severely broken heart? Don’t they realize these things can’t be replicated, that her journey was hers alone?

We All Must Walk Our Own Path

I now realize that Liz’s book is her truth, not my truth. I don’t know her. I know me. What I love in her is what I love about the possibility within me, projected onto a canvas I can paint myself. While her book inspired me on many levels, Liz Gilbert is just another Pinkie, just a person trying to find her way, live her truth, and be authentic to who she really is. Is that worthy of respect and admiration? Absolutely. Is she an unbelievable writer with a courageous spirit? You betcha. Is it fair to put her on some pedestal that separates her from the rest of us? No way. She is just another woman, struggling to find her truth. And she has never claimed to be anything else.

Gurus Are Human Too

Lately, some of you have written me gushing letters that feed my ego and validate the 300-year-old spinster within me (long story- read this). Your sweet words touch me deeply, and I so appreciate the validation. But meeting Liz Gilbert tonight reminds me that those we admire are not so different from ourselves. We all have flaws, make mistakes, feel wounded, struggle for balance, and look to others for guidance. No guru is without his or her personal side. As much as we wish to deify those we admire, even Amma, when I met her, was making snide faces, clearly expressing signals to her followers, as I knelt in front of her and observed her for hours.

Liz Gilbert was no different. I felt like she went out of her way to prove this to us. She doesn’t want us to project onto her traits that are not hers. She wants to be seen as the real person she is. She laughs at a question about South Park’s “Eat, Pray, Queef,” and drops the F-word often. She offers no advice meant to be sage and laughs at herself. And yet, you walk away feeling inspired. Why? It’s not that Liz is really your best friend. It’s not even that she speaks guru words you’re inclined to write in your notebook. (Although I couldn’t resist writing down this quote. When someone asked her how writing a bestseller changed her life, she admitted that making money blessed her by reducing her anxiety and giving her the gift of helping others at will. But she also said, “Money is like tofu. It’s just an energy source that absorbs the flavor of however you use it.” We all laughed, and I scribbled. Guru wisdom, indeed.) It’s something else – something intangible – about her presence. Her energy is frenetic, funny, loving, and little bit world-weary. And yet, you walk away feeling uplifted.

How Owning Pink Shines the Light On the Possibility Within YOU

I won’t even begin to suggest that Owning Pink might inspire you on par with Eat, Pray, Love. But I will suggest that if you find nuggets of wisdom from our community that resonate with you, offered up by me, the Mojo Mentors, or you wise Pinkies, remember that no one of us is any wiser or smarter or more healthy than the rest. We are all on paths of our own, seeking awakening and committing to a life of joy and inner peace, just like Liz Gilbert. May I invite you to let the Pink light shine on the the possibility within each of you? It is your canvas to paint, your life to craft, your path to walk. How do you want to walk it, Pinkies? What beauty did Eat, Pray, Love or Owning Pink help you discover within you?

Walking the path in parallel with you all,

Lissa

Tags: Anne Lamott, bali, book, bucket list, committed, divorce, eat pray love, eat pray queef, Elizabeth Gilbert, esalen, felipe, God, guru, homeland security, india, indonesia, italy, ketut liyer, Lissa Rankin, liz gilbert, lynn stasior, marin center, nerf guns, Owning Pink, pleap, richard from texas, San Rafael, sign from the universe, south park, spiritual, spiritual practice, wyann
Posted in Lissa's personal yada yada yada, Owning Balance, Owning Spirituality, Owning Success, Owning Surrender, Owning You, Uncategorized | 12 Comments »

Mojo Monday Exercise: Write the Vision of Your Ideal Life As Though It’s Already Happening

Monday, September 28th, 2009

Hey Pinksters,

Happy Mojo Monday. Joy here today. I unearthed something most incredible from an old journal today. An artifact from an existence that feels like lifetimes ago, when actually less than a year has passed. On October 6, 2008, I sat in a coffee shop during my lunch break at work and wrote the following in my journal:

I am so extraordinarily grateful to the universe and to myself for having granted this year to devote entirely to my spirituality, creativity, and coaching practice – as well as the means for frequent travel, art classes, etc. I have been able to sleep until fully rested each day, meditate in the quiet of my home and nature for an hour a day, paint, cook, shop, explore, walk with my dog, read, write, visit San Francisco, hang out in coffee shops, visit campus early in the mornings to view the rising mist filtering the golden sun, observe, appreciate, be slow, still, patient, and present.

I feel no obligation to be anywhere but where my heart wishes to be. I immerse myself fully into my coaching training with ample time to focus on the coursework and give 100% of myself to it. On colder days I spend time in front of the fire and in my office engaged in the work of my heart, whatever it may be that day. More and more, my office is beginning to resemble me and become an extension of my soul filled with art, smells and objects that bring peace and comfort to me and all who enter.

I spend weeks and weekends at retreats at Esalen and Spirit Rock and am meeting others who have helped me expand my reach. I am learning from Buddhist gurus, have heard many dharma talks in the area. Penny (my dog) is cared for and loved while I am away and is my best friend and companion on my days spent at or near home.

I am healthy as always – only healthier because I have time to shop for and prepare fresh, organic, delicious food. I visit my sister in DC more frequently and watch my nephew grow. I spend weeks in Florida with my mom. I accompany Matt (partner) on conferences in exciting places that I’ve always wanted to visit and some that I didn’t even realize I needed to see. I am more in touch with this glorious planet than I ever have been and view everything with the awe and amazement that I intended to experience when I choose to incarnate.

I am increasingly excited about coaching and cannot wait to share the wealth of wisdom I have amassed this year with my clients – as well as to learn from them. I spend ample moments in quiet reflection and gratitude and reception of messages from the universe. I become the conduit of wisdom I know I was meant to be and employ my gift of writing to convey these messages. I make an easy and abundant living from this work, made all the more possible by the year I was given to become my biggest and most receptive self, not obliged to anyone or anything for my living.

I am so thankful and filled with joy and excitement for what is to come this year is merely the beginning of an extraordinary, extraordinary and beautiful existence driven by intention and openness and miracles that I will strive to recognize and acknowledge every single day.

At the time, it was a stretch

Now, though it was written in the present tense, was this remotely the life I was living a year ago? Hells no. Had I chronicled my days back then, my journal would have looked more like the following:

Get up at 6 am. Walk to work through gorgeous scenery I’d give anything to spend more time in, but can’t, so don’t bother paying attention. Spend day in airless office feeling empty, purposeless, bored, stressed, and guilty about pets left at home. Always watch clock: be prompt, don’t take too long for lunch, leave at 5 on the nose. Surf internet and eat lots of candy. Walk home. Once a week run out to painting/meditation/other class that is meager attempt at enrichment. More pet abandonment guilt. Over-borrow on vacation time to visit family and entertain friends. More guilt. Resent boyfriend for “talking me into” buying house we could only afford with my salary. Pine for weekends. Resent pets/boyfriend/house obligations for not allowing for more adventure when the weekends did arrive. Kick self for spending weekend “getting life in order” instead of fleeing to wine country or Big Sur. Spend Sunday evening dreading Monday …

And so forth. You get the picture. My life now? Let’s just say that I am doing and experiencing, oh, 85% of the first scenario. I don’t remember the last time I resented someone, felt constrained or obligated, and had anything but joy and appreciation for the work I do. Sure, some endeavors have not yet been realized – like the exotic travel and jewelry-making classes. However, that’s not due to deprivation or a lack of means or possibility … it’s actually because there is so much other amazing stuff filling my days that I’ve had to park those few items on the bucket list for now. I wake up (slightly!) later, for reasons that make me WANT to throw off the covers. I meditate for almost an hour most days, which in itself has been completely transformative. I spend time with my pooch. I walk. I write. I coach. I cook. I field trip to San Fran all the time (AND get to spend days in the breathtaking landscape of OP headquarters in Marin – there are all sorts of little bonuses like this). I take in the astounding miracles of nature all around me. I make my own hours. I connect. I’m inspired. I’m meeting phenomenal people who are proving to me that I can – and will – do whatever I want. I am inspired not only by Buddhists but manymanymany other gurus whom I didn’t even realize existed a year ago. Mine is an “extraordinary, extraordinary and beautiful existence driven by intention and openness and miracles.”

Surely you jest …

Really? Could it be that easy? Does life really align itself around intentions made real by writing them into existence? There’s only one way to find out, I suppose. So, Pinkies, my Mojo Monday invitation to you is to simply – very, very simply – do this:

Grab a notebook and pen.
Sit in a place that inspires you (incidentally, I wrote the above in a coffee shop in which I hoped to spend lots more time during my year of freedom … when it came down to it, though, my preference was to spend lots more time in my lovely house on the hill – one that, despite the Pleap [pink leap of faith] I took last spring extricating myself from the soul-deadening job, we can still miraculously afford).
Write the story of your dream life as if it’s already happening. Too overwhelming? Write out your ideal day. What time would you get up? How would you spend the morning? What does the sun look like coming through the window as you sip your … actually, what are you sipping? With whom will you spend your days? What does your heart call you to do?
Now put it away. You don’t have to believe it will happen, be hopeful, cheerful, or expectant (goodness knows I wasn’t). All you have to do is be clear.

If you feel inspired, please share it with us, Pinkies.

Waiting for you on this side of the miracle,

Joy

Tags: appreciation, dream, dream life, ideal life, inspiration, intentions, journaling, miracles, motivation, vision, writing, writing your vision
Posted in Finding Mojo, Mojo Mondays, Owning Surrender, Owning You, Personal Empowerment | 15 Comments »

Me and My Shadow: Owning The Light and Dark Within You

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

Hiya Pinkies,

Welcome back Lakenda Wallace and Simone da Rosa (a.k.a GoodWitch/BadWitch), Owning Pink’s Get Happy! Less Stress More Life Coaches. They’re here to discuss – as only they can – a topic that seems up for a lot of us right now: Owning our Shadow. Enjoy!

*************

Bad Witch: Yo! Doesn’t this just feel like I should start this conversation?

Good Witch: Yeah it does seem like you should start the conversation. HA. Actually, I want to start the conversation.

BW: Oh go on.

GW: As the Good Witch, people have issues recognizing their shadows as much as embracing it. But I think it’s because we have this idea that everything is black or white, and evil or good. And if it’s evil, then we have to kick it to the curb.

BW: Ooh!, shoes! Uh, yeah back to the curb. You know I am the queen of AND, I say embrace your paradoxes. We all are this and that. When it comes to shadow selves — or hot buttons, as I refer to them — they represent what bothers us most about ourselves whether we see them in other people (then they’re a mirror for us), or vice versa. When you see it, it’s a call to action. A jumping off point.

GW: Exactly! There’s wisdom in the dark places. There’s treasure there. Those hot buttons quite often represent not only those places where we can heal, but where our greatest wisdom resides. You just have to come to balance with it and be willing to accept it.

BW: Yeah so why are people so afraid to “go there”? I like me some wisdom!

GW: I think they can’t go there because they can’t get around the shame that there are dark places within themselves. There are these ideas in organized religion that say that we’re supposed to be perfect. That we shouldn’t have faults. The truth is, even the saints have faults! Humans are humans.

Lakenda (Good Witch) and Simone (Bad Witch)

BW: Oh yeah! Organized religion. (beat) I was raised in one and when I left it, my free thinking was freer to immediately and directly tap into my true spirituality. This all just led me to want to embrace all of me — not just the sanctioned “ok” bits. If nothing else, I believe in quantum physics and its laws. You can’t have one without the other! And if really nothing else, I’m a Libra, we ARE the scales of justice and balance.

GW: When you move beyond the goal of perfectionism, you leave room for humanity. There are good and bad in everything. I found as an aromatherapist, one thing that really opened my nose, was discovering the beauty in compost and some really gnarly scents. Even in the smell of compost, which is largely rotting food, there’s this smell of growth underneath. And even in the most beautiful scent of a rose essential oil, there is a cloying over-sweetness.

BW: Exactly! That’s what I’m saying about “balance” and that one cannot exist without the other side or an implosion happens — if we’re all lucky! — otherwise, it’s an explosion. So that is why it’s important to embrace and know and lick on the neck and accept both your sides, bright/dark, good/bad, all those labels our teeny, weenie hu-monkey brains need to feel functional. When you embrace your entire self, you actually become more functional day by day.

GW: And that’s how we learn. We learn by recognizing the place where we’d like to be better. We learn by looking at the places where you don’t like your response. Only by recognizing those faults and accepting them can you model something different for yourself. Otherwise, you’re just stuck in the same unconscious loop of avoiding shame and avoiding your truth. Thereby, avoiding your opportunity to grow.

BW: Ask yourself to recall what hot button most gets under your skin. Then, what’s your earliest memory of this feeling and emotion coming up for you? Can you now look at that time and find the wisdom available to you in the midst of that situation. Now recall your hot button. Is there a little less charge around your response this time?

GW: These are great journal exercises. Keep at it!