Hey Pinkies! Welcome back Mojo Mentor Alice Langholt, wise Pink goddess and Reiki healer. Today she offers advice for huge-hearted, sensitive Pinkies like herself who can't help but take on the pain of the world.

I have something to admit. I am very sensitive. Lots of people are, but while some people are empathic, taking on the pain from other people, I am something else. I’m over-empathetic. I’m not sure if there’s really a term for this or I just made it up. But nonetheless, it tends to come out in rather embarrassing ways at times and I need to take measures to protect myself.

What happens is this: if I hear about something tragic, usually involving kids being hurt, killed, or a young parent suddenly dying, I dissolve into a puddle of tears, sobbing uncontrollably. It’s happened in public, when I’m on the phone, and when someone has tried to discuss something from the news in front of me. It has happened when someone told me about a childhood trauma, and when watching the news on TV. It usually startles whoever is around, and comes on so suddenly that I can’t stop it from happening.

My husband and I used to take ballroom dance lessons. After our weekly lesson one night, we were sitting in the office of the owner, discussing our next set of lessons. The owner unexpectedly brought up the hot item in the news – that woman in Texas who had drowned her 7 children in their bathtub. I had been horrified as had everyone by this story, and I didn’t want to talk about it. I was also about 7 months pregnant, so I was extra-sensitive at the time. I warned him that I did not want to discuss this story because it was upsetting. He continued to talk about it. I felt an explosion rising inside my emotions. I said again to please stop and I was ignored. Suddenly there it was – I was bawling, sobbing rather loudly in his office. He looked stunned and completely taken aback by my outburst. Well, I had warned him! This was the first time it happened, but not the last.

Since then, there have been moments watching the news, hearing someone tell of a tragic event, or if I attempt to recount a similar story where I just burst into tears. It usually completely embarrasses the person I’m talking to, and I have to take a few minutes to compose myself.

So what can I do? I can’t go around sobbing whenever something touches my sensitive nerve. I made a plan to avoid the situations as much as possible:

• I don’t watch the TV news. I can choose what to read or not read in the paper or online so I get information, without subjecting myself to horror stories.
• I do my best to avoid conversations about tragic topics. If someone starts talking about a murder, child abuse, or something along those lines, I try to excuse myself and get away before the tear explosion hits me.
• I focus on positives. What can I do to make my corner of the world better to balance out the darkness? How can I make someone’s day brighter? How much positive energy can I radiate out today?

I realized that these self-protection tactics are actually ways to make my life more positive in general. What avoiding negativity does for me is to help keep me focused on the good around me. Looking at the world in a positive light is a choice. It spreads to others, and keeps me balanced. There’s nothing I can do about the cruelties that people inflict on one another that make sensationalist coverage. But what I can affect around me, I do, to the best of my ability, and I try to teach others ways to increase their own positive capacity to heal and cope as well. That’s my special talent – teaching Reiki – helping people find the connection to the immense power inside themselves.

It’s funny, because one would think that having the ability to use Reiki would make it possible for me to stay balanced when things around me feel insane. In many ways, it does. But I think that my super-sensitive empathetic freakout tendency is a reminder to do these things instead:

• Care for myself – we all need to remember to do this, so besides caring for myself, I remind others to do the same. Here at Owning Pink, we can remind each other!
• Help others – adding light rather than spreading darkness is something that has far reaching as well as deep internal advantages.
• Wear the pink glasses – the more we choose to focus on the positive side of life, the more our lives will become this way. It doesn’t mean ignoring or not responding when we can help, but instead, looking at our lives and others with love and caring. Having a positive attitude about life spreads to others, too.

What can you do to increase the light in your life?

Wishing everyone loads of Pink Positive Mojo!

Alice