Hiya, Pinkies and Happy Mojo Monday! For today’s exercise, we’re going to explore both the dark and the light within us. I just finished reading Debbie Ford’s The Dark Side of the Light Chasers (great read!), and the book inspired this next exercise. Our mission at Owning Pink is to provide the safe, loving space for us to OWN all of who we are, right? That means ALL- the light, as well as the shadow. It’s not until we fully accept all of who we are that we can be truly whole. By accepting your shadow, you pave the way for reclaiming your full power, your true self, and all of your dreams for what this life can be.
Do you find that certain traits in others trigger you predictably? Maybe you can’t stand it when a co-worker or family member doesn’t pull their weight or acts narcissistic or behaves rudely. Chances are, you are responding to something you don’t like about yourself. To tap into your full capacity for love and joy, you will need to OWN the shadow within, rather than turning a blind eye to it.
Here’s an exercise:
1. Below is a list of words we typically associate with being negative. Read through them and jot down any that trigger you emotionally. Most of them, you will read without feeling an emotional charge, but some will light you up. Those are the ones you want to write down.
Greedy Liar Phony Cheap Hateful Jealous Vindictive Controlling Nasty Possessive Bitchy Wimp Evil Geek Prudish Womanizer Angry Secretive Codependent Alcoholic Predator Drug addict Gambler Sick Fat Disgusting Stupid Idiot Fearful Unconscious
Masochistic Bulimic Anorexic Unimportant Shyster Victimizer Egocentric Better than Foolish Emotional Pompous Ugly Sloppy Loud mouth Big mouth Passive-aggressive Smelly Lame Coward Jerk Inauthentic Offensive Inappropriate Wild Dead Zombie
Late Irresponsible Incompetent Lazy Opportunist Lush Stingy Unfair Dumb Traitor Weasel Immature Gossip Snippy Desperate Childish Floozy Shrew Pansy Golddigger Hormonal Cruel Insensitive Scary Dangerous Explosive Perverted Psychotic Needy
Energy sucker Mean Defensive Man-hater Sad Frail Impotent Insipid Castrated Mama’s boy Nervous Arrogant Miser Spinster Slut Deceitful Judgmental Imposter Superficial Violent Thoughtless Martyr Hypocrite Love-buyer Sneak Grudge-carrier
Condescending Competitive Power hungry Wasteful Insane Sinister Bigot White trash Anxious Stuck Hot shot Goofy Woman-hater Sadistic Nose picker Loser Worthless Failure Envious Critical Flabby Neglectful Whore Shameful Dirty Bitter Shameless
Bossy Inflexible Old Cold Withdrawn Soulless Heartless Has-been Cagey Resentful Racist Unenlightened Snob Elitist Faggot Dominating Sleazy Overbearing Bad Ignorant Thief Cheater Scammer Pushy Classless Trashy Devious Conniving
Groupie Insecure Depressed Hopeless Good for nothing Beggar Whiney Asshole Ball buster Frugal Unlovable Delinquent Scared Hyper Nosy Intrusive Perfectionist Anal Know-it-all Ass-kisser Malicious Resentful Righteous Freak Useless Middle class Resistant Withholding Betrayer Inferior Destructive Thick-headed Confrontational Weak Impatient Full of shit Dyke Self-destructive Imperious Ruthless Oversensitive Pigheaded Tightass Tasteless Uninteresting Empty Diabolical Ridiculous Wretched Pain in the ass
2.Imagine that your favorite magazine or newspaper was writing an article about you. Which five of the words you wrote down would you NOT want the article to mention. These words give you some insight into your shadow.
3. Stand in front of a mirror with your list of words and say “I am _____” (fill in the blank with the word you need to OWN. Repeat this over and over until you can say it without emotional charge. If you can’t do this, sit down and write a hate letter to this word. Get it out. Cry, scream, do whatever it takes to release the negative energy around this. Then try again. “I am _______.”
This works, Pinkies. OWN IT. All of us have a shadow side, and even if you think you have never been Full of Shit, Elitist, Sadistic, Energy Sucker, etc…there is some time in your life when you have been. This doesn’t mean that these traits define you or even that they are true most of the time. It means that there’s something within you that you must accept to heal and shine your light. Own it. Accept it. Love it.
Loving your shadow and mine,
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