Hiya Pinkies,
Welcome back Lakenda Wallace and Simone da Rosa (a.k.a GoodWitch/BadWitch), Owning Pink’s Get Happy! Less Stress More Life Coaches. They’re here to discuss – as only they can – a topic that seems up for a lot of us right now: Owning our Shadow. Enjoy!
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Bad Witch: Yo! Doesn’t this just feel like I should start this conversation?
Good Witch: Yeah it does seem like you should start the conversation. HA. Actually, I want to start the conversation.
BW: Oh go on.
GW: As the Good Witch, people have issues recognizing their shadows as much as embracing it. But I think it’s because we have this idea that everything is black or white, and evil or good. And if it’s evil, then we have to kick it to the curb.
BW: Ooh!, shoes! Uh, yeah back to the curb. You know I am the queen of AND, I say embrace your paradoxes. We all are this and that. When it comes to shadow selves — or hot buttons, as I refer to them — they represent what bothers us most about ourselves whether we see them in other people (then they’re a mirror for us), or vice versa. When you see it, it’s a call to action. A jumping off point.
GW: Exactly! There’s wisdom in the dark places. There’s treasure there. Those hot buttons quite often represent not only those places where we can heal, but where our greatest wisdom resides. You just have to come to balance with it and be willing to accept it.
BW: Yeah so why are people so afraid to “go there”? I like me some wisdom!
GW: I think they can’t go there because they can’t get around the shame that there are dark places within themselves. There are these ideas in organized religion that say that we’re supposed to be perfect. That we shouldn’t have faults. The truth is, even the saints have faults! Humans are humans.
Lakenda (Good Witch) and Simone (Bad Witch)
BW: Oh yeah! Organized religion. (beat) I was raised in one and when I left it, my free thinking was freer to immediately and directly tap into my true spirituality. This all just led me to want to embrace all of me — not just the sanctioned “ok” bits. If nothing else, I believe in quantum physics and its laws. You can’t have one without the other! And if really nothing else, I’m a Libra, we ARE the scales of justice and balance.
GW: When you move beyond the goal of perfectionism, you leave room for humanity. There are good and bad in everything. I found as an aromatherapist, one thing that really opened my nose, was discovering the beauty in compost and some really gnarly scents. Even in the smell of compost, which is largely rotting food, there’s this smell of growth underneath. And even in the most beautiful scent of a rose essential oil, there is a cloying over-sweetness.
BW: Exactly! That’s what I’m saying about “balance” and that one cannot exist without the other side or an implosion happens — if we’re all lucky! — otherwise, it’s an explosion. So that is why it’s important to embrace and know and lick on the neck and accept both your sides, bright/dark, good/bad, all those labels our teeny, weenie hu-monkey brains need to feel functional. When you embrace your entire self, you actually become more functional day by day.
GW: And that’s how we learn. We learn by recognizing the place where we’d like to be better. We learn by looking at the places where you don’t like your response. Only by recognizing those faults and accepting them can you model something different for yourself. Otherwise, you’re just stuck in the same unconscious loop of avoiding shame and avoiding your truth. Thereby, avoiding your opportunity to grow.
BW: Ask yourself to recall what hot button most gets under your skin. Then, what’s your earliest memory of this feeling and emotion coming up for you? Can you now look at that time and find the wisdom available to you in the midst of that situation. Now recall your hot button. Is there a little less charge around your response this time?
GW: These are great journal exercises. Keep at it!
Tell us Pinkies- what lights you up? What wisdom can you find in your shadow self? What do you need to OWN to be more whole?
Mojo even in our shadows,
Lakenda and Simone
Tags: astrology, bad, balance, dark side, darkness, evil, good, good witch bad witch, Lakenda Wallace, less stress more life, libra, organized religion, shadow, simone da rosa, stillsitting, wholeness, wisdom
Lakenda & Si,
Very interesting posting. I always enjoy the thoughts expressed by the Witches of Pink. Hu-Monkey cracked me the hell up, I must say!
I completely agree that we have to recognize and embrace all sides of ourselves. We are all composites of good and bad,dark and light. It is called diversity. You have to love every nook and cranny of your soul just the way you are. Until you can embrace and love the diversity of who you are, how can you possibly truely love and accept others?
I do want to make a comment about organized religion. I have been burned and scared in the past by organized religion, but I don’t believe it should be characterized as all bad & judgmental. I am a member of a mainstream United Methodist Church. I never feel as if I am being looked down on by any member of my church family. I also don’t go to church to be told exactly how I am supposed to live my life or for some set of rules that I have to follow to the letter. I go there because I enjoy worshiping our sweet Lord with my church family who loves me unconditionaly with no judgements. I also do not believe that you have to “go to church” to be a spiritual person or even to worship a higher being. In fact my spiritaulity doesn’t come from organized religion, it comes from within myself. I just enjoy the expierience.
Thanks to you both for the thought provoking posting. Pinkie Peace and Love to you Lovely Witches!
Si & Lakenda,
As always, your wisdom resonates with me at a very high vibration! Thank you for sharing.
And Michelle, I hear you sister. The beautiful thing about how we get in touch with Spirit is so personal. We all must find our own path to the Universal Source that creates all of us. For some, that is in a community of like-minded thinkers who gather in a church. For others, it is in nature. For others, we find our spiritual practice in yoga or meditation. I spent all day in a workshop that was all about God (in typical woo woo California speak, we called it Co-Creation, but my mother, who went to a church retreat, experienced something similarly profound this weekend). We do what we must based on who we are, what spiritual language we speak, and how we connect with and OWN our spirituality. If organized religion serves your personal spirit, more power to you, sister. Kudos to you for owning your TRUTH.
xoxo
Lissa
Thanks Lissa,
I agree that there are many ways to worship and own your spirituality. I enjoy going to church but I also worship in ways you have described here, in appreciation of nature, yoga, daily meditation, etc. It doesn’t matter how you connect to your higher source as long as you do. I am not typical Methodist stock (I don’t think many of us have home altars) but recently I have learned that’s more than okay, it’s to be celebrated. No more boxes baby! I love it.
Love N PP,
Michele
Amen, sister!
And just so you know, I was raised Methodist and have 2 home altars, and my mother is a die-hard, church-going, choir-singing Methodist, and she has one too!
I knew my “org’d religion” comment would get me in trouble…and yet… Thankfully, I only wear a size 6…! Michele, my parents still belong to and believe in our religion – and I do say “our” because it’s one of the major old ones and as such is a pretty cultural, not just about the religion. My personal reasons for leaving have more to do with politics than religiosity. I am genuinely very happy for you and my parents to be a part of something that gives you such joy — and I have always respected spiritual connection in any form it takes (so how could my ex-one have been all bad?). I just re-read twice and don’t see the “for me” I had formatted as bold in there which probably just fell off porting from Word to this site. You keep on going with your spiritual self, girl!, I applaud working whatever works for you and it would never cross my mind to do otherwise. I knew it would be you (b/c your communication style reminds me of a close g/f of mine from ‘Bama, and she’s given me hell over the years – to which I say, right on!), and love you for pointing this out so I had an opportunity without seeming on the defensive: each the religions I’ve heard any details about all push for one common, underlying thing: L-O-V-E. Big spiritual smooches to all my brothers and sisters!
I truly believe that all religions have at that core a language that speaks directly to God. I also believe that layers of hu-monkey-ness can dim that voice.
There is great beauty in communicating with God and great value in social structures that give form to “being a good person.” However, when that form begins to deny natural human instinct and behaviour and leave room for humans to be humans, there can be issues.
I was raised Catholic and still occasionally go to church, though I could also identify with paganism, buddism, Unity and Church of Religious Science. Wherever there are groups with the heart intention of opening up to God, I applaud and am willing to kneel and worship.
In truth, the comment was meant to point out this obsession with being perfect and making no mistakes. I’ve seen Mommies drive themselves crazy with self-flagellating because they are trying to live up to absolutely impossible standards. But once you allow for “I won’t get everything right,” you allow yourself to present in the moment, to learn in the moment and, most importantly, to accept yourself in the moment.
So, the generalization was crass, though the problems can be found across the board. Humans like to control. But in truth we can control nothing, but how we choose to react to the moment we find ourselves in. The comments were to inspire others to be more gentle and compassionate with themselves in every moment, whether they initially like what they see or not. Beyond the moment of distress or shame lies a great treasure of wisdom yet to be tapped.
Tap into your glory, Pinkies. Sometimes it is bright and perfect and other times it is just human. AND both are exquisite.
Hey you two Hu Moneky Witches,
I wanted to say again that I appreciated the point you were making in this posting. We have to love ourselves, ALL of ourselves and celebrate our diversities. Y’all have a unique and wonderful way of sharing positive thoughts with others. I’m lovin’ the exchange of thoughts and ideas.
Love N PP,
~Michele~