A Gutsy Guide to Getting Your Mojo Back

Hey Pinkies! Please welcome Mojo Mentor Shannon Elsom, the Pink Guru of the Goddess Within, and founder of Through Thick And Thin. Each month, Shannon will be introducing us to a different goddess and advising us on how to best embrace and nurture those aspects of ourselves. (How lucky are we?) Enjoy this delicious post, and we look forward to more. Take it away, Guru Goddess …

Introducing Hathor

In Egyptian mythology, Hathor is a Goddess of the Sky. She is the embodiment of the Milky Way… a celestial waterway that ancient Egyptians revered as the Nile of the heavens. Hathor is associated with the mothering energy of the cow. She is often depicted as a golden cow adorned with stars or woman bearing a cow’s head. Other images show Hathor as a Goddess of great beauty crowned with a headdress of horns embracing the orb of the sun to represent her beloved, Ra, The Sun God. Her domain is motherhood. Hathor’s symbolism is ripe in the flow of amniotic fluid that carries the gift of newborn life in its current. To invoke Her is to be nurtured by Mama’s milk. As we open our hearts to Hathor’s energy our receptivity awakens.

Our Nurturing Side

Each one of us has a maternal side, regardless of our gender. We naturally connect to this nurturing quality when it comes to caring for others. We feel fulfilled in sharing our energy with loved ones. We find meaning in birthing our dreams into being. However, in the dynamics of energy, there must be a balance of give and take. If we continually expend our energy nourishing others and our many projects with the milk of our goblet, never returning to the healing well within to refill our cup, we become parched. Our receptive channels become blocked. With everything going out and nothing coming back in to sustain us, we become depleted. As much as we may want to share our presence and gifts with those dear to us, we have nothing left to give when our vessel runs dry.

Many feel guilty about making their self-care a priority, mistaking it as a selfish act. The truth is there is nothing more unselfish than receiving with grace and gratitude. We know how wonderful we feel when we give to others. Why would we want to rob our loved ones from experiencing the joy of giving back to us? It is essential that we learn the art of receiving if we are to restore balance in our lives. When we are renewed, we have more to offer. Instead of giving to others out of a sense of obligation or in a spirit of resentment, we move from a space of abundance. There is more than enough love and care to go around. Everyone benefits in the receiving.

Owning Balance

Like nature, we have our cycles and it is important that we honor those inner rhythms. As the ocean ebbs and flows, so do our needs. When the tide is high, sharing that wealth of energy feels good. The paradox is that in the giving, we often receive. It is equally vital that we respect our waning cycle by heeding the wisdom to turn within, reflect and restore. It’s natural to work in harmony with this rhythm. To step off beat is to welcome imbalance in. Everything in the natural world respects Mama Nature’s brilliant design. Observe nature and notice how it doesn’t resist the current, but surrenders to the flow. Sunlight yields to the cloak of night. The stark grayness of winter gives way to the fresh colorful burst of life in spring. The bear accepts the end to a season of activity and settles in for hibernation. All of nature is a divine dance… a partnership of interchanging energies… each one playing the role of both leader and follower. Can you imagine the imbalance that would result if the sun insisted it lead and never agreed to yield to the rising of the moon? Human beings are the one aspect of nature putting up a fight. We constantly strive to be ‘on’. In our society, the need to slow down and catch our breath is viewed as a weakness. We have become disconnected from the wisdom that there is a time to yield, soften, open and receive. We have become so mired in our perpetual grasping that we have forgotten how to let go. Letting go is not defeat, but salvation.

My Story

I am sympathetic of the challenge this poses. Receiving can seem complex to the doers of the world. I am a caregiver. I have always been the type of person to put others’ needs before my own. This is strongly rooted in my conditioning and religious upbringing. After all, isn’t giving selflessly the right thing to do? I have begun to wonder if the act of selfless giving is not an illusion. In reality, when we give we do receive something in return whether it is praise for being such a kind person, approval from others, or even the feeling of happiness that fills our hearts when we extend a helping hand. For many years a martyr paradigm ruled my life. My spirituality became entangled in the false notion that compassion was equivalent to the sacrifice of my personal needs. I have untangled many of the threads of these limiting beliefs. However, to say that I have been completely liberated from my early conditioning would be a false statement. I continue to struggle with the holdover of these imbalanced ideals.

I recently admitted and subsequently accepted that I am a workaholic. It was painful for me to acknowledge the truth that I am using work as a distraction from tending to the garden of my soul. There are many areas of my life that need attention. I’ve had blinders on for so long that in recent months my body has begun to scream at me for recognition. I have found myself immersed in a medical crisis. The pain in my body is demanding I pay attention. I have long known intellectually that if you don’t take the time to rest and nurture, life will force you to stop by default. The reality of that statement is now hitting me over the head like a ton of bricks.

For the past 13 years I have worked in the field of healing. Only recently have I become aware of how much I am wrapped up in the identity of being a healer. I have come to see that my definition of what it means to be of service is a driving force in my state of imbalance. I feel a constant pull to give, but I struggle to receive. I think this is an issue that many caregivers wrestle with. When you are a doctor, holistic healer, massage therapist, counselor, parent, teacher, or wear one of the many other ‘hats’ of the service set, it is very seductive to immerse yourself in the identity of a caregiver. While our acts of service infuse our lives with meaning we must be mindful of the sage wisdom, “Healer, heal thy self.” Too often I have flirted with the possibility of burnout in an effort to be all things to all people. I have nearly run myself into the ground in a vain attempt to uphold my identity as a healer.

Return to Mojo Retreat

I have decided to tap into my source of internal nurturing by creating a, “Return to Mojo Retreat”. It will be time for me to tune in and open my receiving channels. From November 1st through the 9th I will be putting the to-do list aside. All pressing matters will find their place on the backburner. I’m turning off the computer. I’m holding all calls except the one from my soul calling me to unplug from all the ‘shoulds’ in order to create space for restoration. I am not in the financial position to travel to a posh resort or visit a luxury spa so I plan on bringing the retreat to me. I will create a healing oasis in the comfort of my home. There will be the preparation of exquisite meals centered on nourishing whole foods. The sublime bliss of a daily yoga and meditation practice will be essential. I will welcome in the grounding energy of the natural world by engaging in nature walks and hikes. Pampering treatments will be a must… no retreat would be complete without them. I am scheduling both a hot stone massage and acupuncture session. I’m also looking forward to freeing up time to nurture my creative side with crafting and dance. I will be drinking deeply from my healing well within so when I return to day to day life, I can do so with more balance, presence and awareness. It is my desire to establish a lifestyle that affords me the opportunity to share with others while maintaining my self-care as a priority. The retreat will be a potent step in facilitating this new direction.

Nurturing Ourselves

I encourage all pinkies to call upon your inner Hathor. Open your heart and listen to the message She shares. Does the Goddess within need your nurturing love? Have you fallen to the bottom of your priority list? Create space in your life for self-care. Nourish yourself with the luxury of a retreat. You may not be able to steal away for a week at this time, but you can create an island of peace within each and every day. Open yourself to receiving some of the love and attention that you give so freely to others. Make a commitment to yourself. Decide how much time you can free up for your personal care and make it as equal a priority as your other responsibilities. Be honest about your limits. You don’t have to say ‘yes’ to everyone and everything. It’s ok to say ‘no’. It’s also acceptable to ask for help when you need it. Seeking support from our loved ones is not a sign of weakness, but strength. Let those who love you experience the gift of returning some of the care you have lavished upon them. Allow them the space to demonstrate their affection for you. Let friends watch the kids for the evening so you can enjoy some grown up time. Ask your family to help you manage some of those responsibilities so you can have space to nurture yourself. Take steps to create a life that supports you on every level. The first step is the biggest one and it involves you asking for what you need.

The Mojo Bag:

At the next available opportunity give yourself some time to reflect on what is meaningful to you. What areas of your life are seeking attention? What parts of you are calling out for nurturing? Where are you blocked? What care are you in need of?

Mama needs a brand new bag loaded with all the ingredients required to whip up her mojo. Find an attractive cloth sack to serve as your mojo bag. Choose an eye-catching fabric. You want your mojo bag to have an air of specialness. Gift bags work quite well for this. Make sure the sack is large enough to fit a stack of index cards inside. Creative types can invoke Hathor’s love of the arts by designing mojo bags of their own. Using a stack of index cards, create your personalized mojo deck. Assign each index card a gift of self-care. Explore your imagination for ways that you can give back to yourself. If you feel playful you can even draw images on each card to give your deck the stamp of your creative touch. Some ideas for cards to get your mojo juices flowing…

• Take a nap just because.
• Indulge in a mineral bath in the comfort of your own tub.
• Rent a funny movie and laugh yourself silly.
• Carve out time for crafting.
• Spend some still moments in your favorite nature spot.
• Dance around your living room to the music you loved as a teenager.

Once you have created your deck you can store it in your bag for safe keeping. Keep your mojo bag in a special place and draw from the deck freely and frequently. If you have an altar, your mojo bag would find a lovely home there. Make a commitment to draw at least three cards each week. Pamper yourself with the self-care activities you draw from the deck. Invite your intuition in. Before selecting a card, ask you inner Goddess to guide you to what is most needed in your life at this time. Sink your hand into the bag and let your fingers skim the surface of the deck. You will know which cards are meant for you. This helps open your receiving channels so you can glean the wisdom of your internal guidance.

As you do all other priorities in your life, pencil these self-care gifts in. I suggest starting with three cards a week to encourage approachability. If you were to dive right in and draw a daily card, you may feel overwhelmed. This would be stress-building, not releasing. Make the experience of giving back to yourself a pleasure so you can truly receive the blessing of this ‘me’ time.

Open your heart to receive Hathor’s nurturing message. By allowing yourself to receive you open the gateway for the intuitive healer within to enter your field of awareness. In caring for ourselves we become full. Our cup runneth over, brimming with a storehouse of energy that allows us to share more of authentic selves with the ones we love.