Are you familiar with cairns, those stacks of balanced stones you often see on the beaches in California? These stone sculptures, used to mark paths, burial sites, energy vortices, or simply as a mark of reverence, have always fascinated me. How do they get those stones to stand on top of each other in such precarious ways? How do you achieve something grounded and stable with such tenuous connections? I can’t help think about balance, when I see them. They remind me that balance is a tenuous thing, indeed, and in order to maintain it in our lives, we must be mindful about how we stack our stones. Seeing these cairns on a beach recently inspired this post, since I’m pretty sure the quest for a balance is a nearly universal struggle for us modern Pinkies.
Balance in my own life is becoming more and more precarious, especially when it comes to setting boundaries. I have a tendency to live with my heart and life wide open, a free-for-all invitation for all beings to walk right in, take a seat on the comfy sofa of my soul, and settle in for a while. Even Caroline saw this during my Pink Intuitive Reading, where my aura was crowded with the auras of many other people. Apparently, the 300 year old spinster from my past life, who was blessed with many gifts but never got to share them, creeps up still into my psyche.
Figuring Out My Place In the World
Lately, lots of people write to me, reach out wanting to schedule phone dates, or ask me to do lunch. The 300 year old spinster within is delighted, of course, because many of these people are people with whom I can share my gifts and make a difference. My calendar is so overscheduled lately that I have 4-5 meetings each day, all with incredibly lovely strangers who want to meet me, who think we might be able to co-create, who wish to hear my story. All of these individuals touch my heart with their desire to do good in the world, their struggle to follow their dreams, and their frustration with not knowing how to get their message out there. Each day, I feel blessed that I am attracting these awesome people. Who could ask for more than a life filled with gifted healers surrounding me at every turn?
Trouble is, I simply can’t keep up. I’m looking at my overbooked calendar and realizing that I have one book deadline October 1 and a second book deadline December 1. And I have a solo art show in January 2010, and then another one in March. I have a growing medical practice demanding more of my time, and Owning Pink blossoms more every day with new possibility. A traveling art tour and nationwide book tour loom in the future. These are all incredible blessings. Every one of them is something about which I could have only dreamed a few years back. I feel like a schmuck for engaging in any dialogue that might sound like whining. I am filled with gratitude every day for the blessings in my life, the manifestations of my dreams coming true.
When It Rains, It Pours
But you know the cliché “When it rains, it pours?” That’s me. Standing in the pouring rain, shivering, sopping wet, and try to figure out how to keep dry. If I’m not careful, my 3 year old daughter will quit begging to interrupt me from my work and will have simply accepted that Mommy is not available anymore. My husband will accommodate to going to sleep alone every night, while I stay up and work. My mother will no longer miss the nightly phone calls we used to enjoy. My best friend will find another best friend.
Not to mention that my body will buckle under the toll, my spirit will get caked with the mud of my daily schedule, and my heart will shut down from spending so much time wide open. The Signs From the Universe may quit coming, or I’ll be so overworked that I will quit noticing. If I fail to slow down and take time for myself and those I love, I may grow bitter…I may lose my mojo, stop Owning Pink. I see how it could be possible.
Are You Struggling With Balance in Your Life?
I know I am not alone in my struggle. How many of you Pinkies are trying to balance a family life with following your dreams? How many have trouble saying NO? Are you a workaholic, filling every moment of every day with busyness, until you plop into bed late at night, without a single moment of restful mindfulness during the day? Do you work your ass off, only to beat yourself up because you failed to be everything to everyone? I hear you, Pinkies. Me too, lately.
Finding Time To Just BE
But I resolve to change all that. I must meet my book deadlines, and art must be made. But I love writing and painting! This does not drag me down- rather it lifts me up! What drags me down is the level of overcommitment I’ve been agreeing to. This must change. From now on, I’m going to have to start saying NO to all those lovely people who want just an hour of my time, who want me to speak at their luncheons, who want me to coach them on how to be a writer/artist/doctor/entrepreneur. I need to set boundaries (Yikes! This is SO hard for me. Shut up 300 year old spinster! It must happen!). I need to protect my personal time, so there’s something left of me to share with my family and closest friends. I need to hunker down in the little walled kingdom my life needs to be for a while, so I can find balance. I must forgive myself for feeling like I am being selfish when I tell someone I can’t have lunch or attend their event. I must leave room in my life for space, for possibility, for imagination, for the voice of the Universe. I have to achieve more balance. I must make room to BE.
Are you with me, Pinkies? Are you committed to finding more balance in your life? Are you willing and able to set boundaries? Can you understand how important it is to leave space in your life, to stop overcommitting? Can you stop making excuses for why you haven’t done it already? Can you OWN your right to have balance, to set boundaries, to say no? Will you make time to just BE? It’s time. Let’s do this together. Let’s support each other in setting healthy boundaries and finding balance.
Resolved to find balance, one stone at a time,
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