Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

- “Lean on Me,” Music & Lyrics by Bill Withers

Happy Mojo Monday Pinkies! It’s Joy. I’m writing this week’s Mojo Monday post because Lissa asked me to. As you know, she is in the throes of writing a book, running Owning Pink, acting as a mentor and coach to those seeking her wisdom, practicing holistic gynecology at CLEAR Center of Health, getting ready for two solo art exhibitions, and staying connected with her family. Lissa has realized that she cannot keep all these balls in the air alone ... so she’s begun to ask for help.

Of course the Pink Posse has rallied around Lissa, doing everything we can to share some of the load so that this exceptional community continues to thrive, while she continues to grow in ways that she needs to in order to be of service in the world. Her requests for help – few and quiet though they still are – are met with joy, action, and even gratitude. Why wouldn’t they be?

And yet so many of us are hesitant to ask for what we need. Sure, when we are clear with the Universe it often gives us what we want; however, often we forget that “the Universe” is not the intangible ether, but includes everything around us – even people. So often miracles in our lives are delivered by way of the gesture of another. In a way, then, isn’t making a request of someone else the same as making a request of the Universe? Why would we hesitate?

But we do. I think the subconscious driver of my own inability to ask is a fear of putting someone out, or being a burden. Asking would also make me more seen in the world, which, if you read about my intuitive reading with Caroline, has never been my strong suit. Energetically I prefer to remain hidden. But that’s just me – there are a jillion reasons why we don’t ask: pride; self-reliance; feelings of failure for not being able to do something alone; alienation from others; fear of rejection; and so on.

Think about a time someone came to you with a sincere plea for help – a friend seeking help with a move; a neighbor who asks you to watch her kids because the babysitter cancelled last minute; a desperate stranger needing to borrow your cell phone to call for a ride. Put yourself back in that place … what was the feeling you had upon hearing the request? I’d be surprised if you said “exasperation,” “annoyance,” or “resentment.” Why? Because doing things for others is a reflection of our essential being – the part of us that is pure loving kindness. It feels right to help because helping comes from the highest part of ourselves. When you ask for something, you are actually giving someone the opportunity to own Who They Really Are, as well as strengthening the connection between you on both a physical and spiritual level.

So Pinkies, on this Mojo Monday, let’s take the Pink Doctor of Mojo’s example and start sharing our loads with the people in our lives. It might go a little something like this:

1. Look at your to-do list for today, this week, this year. If you don’t have a to-do list, write out a list of things you hope to accomplish. It can be as specific as painting your toenails and buying cat food, or as general as a bucket list for your whole life.
2. Note the items on your list for which you might seek support or help. Sure, technically you could paint your bedroom alone, but inviting your sister to help would cut the time in half and be a lot more fun. Maybe a to-do item is booking an airport shuttle. Why not ask a friend for a ride instead? Perhaps you need to buy a ladder so that you can change the bulb in the hallway light, but doesn’t your neighbor have a ladder you could borrow?
3. Now ask. I know, this is the scary part, at least for me. All that yada yada about it being fine and cool and welcome is one thing, but then there’s the act of actually voicing your request. If you get stuck, think back to a request you received, and how happy you felt to oblige. And remember, asking for help does not mean you are weak or have failed. On the contrary, you are actually acknowledging the highest and most holy part of the person you are asking.
4. Be willing to help. Suspend your suspicions, fears, and misnomers about kindness to strangers. Open your mind to homeless people asking for change. Use your intuition before automatically dismissing the person on the side of the road waving down help. Don’t let horror stories override what you know to be true about people. See if opening your mind doesn’t also open the channels of give and take. More help may even come your way.

So Pinkies, what’s on your list? Any ideas about how your load might be shared? Sure, maybe things aren’t overwhelming, but sharing your load is just like sharing anything else … it just feels better.

I just might have a problem that you’d understand,

Joy



Lissa's note:

Thank you, Joy, for helping when I need it! And Pinkies, I do encourage you to recognize that we can't be Superpeople. You may be able to do it all in a lifetime, but you have to take turns giving something up on a day to day basis. You simply can't do it all every day.

On that note, I've asked Megan Harner, our Lovemuffin Extraordinaire, to help me out on Twitter. With over 22,000 followers, I just can't quite keep up with responding personally to every Pinkie, something I've tried hard to do. I want you all to know that you are heard, honored and acknowledged. So while I will be reading every tweet, Megan will be tweeting for me from time to time. When it's her, she'll use (mh) at the end, so you can tell if it's her or me. Thank you for understanding. I feel fully supported by all of you and am so grateful for all your love as I navigate this new path.

I encourage you to follow Joy's advice, Pinkies. When people ask me how I am able to accomplish what I do, I say, "I have good helpers." My husband, Joy, Megan, the Mojo Mentors, my mother, and our team of Owning Pink volunteers are all instrumental in keeping my life running. Deep bow to you all. I love you!

Gratefully receiving help,

Lissa