Waiting and Becoming: A Lesson in Patience

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Waiting and Becoming: A Lesson in Patience

Lissa Rankin, October 27, 2009

We did it, Pinkies! We took Mojo LIVE! Big Pink thanks to all who joined our session today, contributed your beautiful energy, and helped us hold the sacred space. I won’t share too much about what we talked about. You know what they say: "what happens in Vegas…" To protect the confidentiality of today's participants, I won’t mention anything too specific. But one topic did come up that I thought worthy of exploring: the issue of resistance, and what I call “Waiting and Becoming.”

Slowing Down

Back when I quit my job, we were living on the Monterey peninsula, a remote place where my life suddenly slowed way down. I knew hardly anyone, no longer had to work 72-hour call shifts, and the demand for my art slowed down as the economy faltered. My body was so used to running at 100 MPH that it literally took months for my fight-or-flight mechanisms to shut off. When they did, I suddenly heard the silence, and it freaked me out. But in time, I surrendered to the silence, came to appreciate the change of pace, and rested.

At the time, I felt this strange uncertainty. I tackled a new project - writing a book - which lent me some focus and direction for my energy, but I still had no clue where my life was going. After decades of absolute certainty (medical education is all about jumping through the hoops to get from A to B- B being a certain outcome if you dutifully complete the hoop-jumping), I suddenly had no idea what my life was about.

Waiting …

And so, I found myself ... waiting. Waiting for what? Waiting for something BIG to happen. Waiting for a sign that I was supposed to go back to work. Waiting to get a literary agent. Waiting for a publisher to pick up my book. Waiting to decide where we should settle. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for a certain calling. Something. Anything.

Have I mentioned that I’m really bad at waiting? Think about the person in the waiting room at the doctor’s office who is tapping her foot, checking her iPhone, reading a book, hassling the desk clerk – again, and looking harried. Yup. That’s me. Bad at waiting. I wanted to fast forward through the whole process and find out where I was going to BE. Which means (you guessed it), I was definitely not living in the moment.

At some point, I started to slow down and wake up. I realized that I can BE right here, right now. That BEing doesn’t have to exist at some future point. I can BE anytime. I decided to shift the words I was using. Instead of waiting to BE, I would BECOME. The word implies an active process, a caterpillar-to-butterfly transformation, even.

… and Becoming

I call those two years my Waiting and Becoming years. When the time was right, the waiting ended, signaling a whole shift in who I was, in fact, becoming. Suddenly, it once again became about the doing. But in reflecting back to that time, I realize that something really critical was happening during those Waiting and Becoming years. For lack of a better phrase, I was finding myself: reading books, reaching out to people, spending alone time thinking, and silently preparing for the person I was becoming.

The thing is, you can’t rush that process. There are no Cliffs Notes to get you through class. In fact, there’s not even a class. Often, there’s nothing to do ... except wait.

Then, when the time is right, the wheels start spinning, and next thing you know, you’re racing through life again, plundering full steam ahead, longing, wistfully, for those quiet days of Waiting and Becoming (while still trying to be here now). It's all about patience. And for me, it was a profound lesson in trust. Things didn't happen on my schedule. But they did happen- when I was ready and the time was right.

We All Must Wait

What I sense from many of you Pinkies is that you may feel tired of waiting. But speaking from my own experience, I say don’t rush it. Don’t stress about it. Don’t fight it. Stop resisting. This waiting process is vital. You must go through it. And when the time is right (you’ll know when that is), you’ll feel the shift. All the signs will align, and you will know it is once more time to move.

Until then, enjoy this time. See it for the ripe, fertile period that it is. Explore it with a spirit of adventure and anticipation. Get excited about it. You never know what you will discover while you are waiting.

What’s happening to you, Pinkies? Are you feeling impatient with waiting? Do you wish you could skip it and move forward? Are you discouraged or disheartened? Shift your perspective. Look for the opportunity in the waiting. Tell us what you see.

Becoming,

Lissa

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Comments

Some time has passed, but

By Dana Theus on Saturday, 12/26/2009 at 11:06 AM

Some time has passed, but this issue has only become more important to me

I've been spot reading bits of "Anatomy of the Spirit" the last few days, seeking clues with new eyes (and found some!). In the 6th chakra I found some amazing insights on this issue of "waiting and becoming" we've been conscious of in this community over these past months. I'll copy in a few quotes from pages 253-255 for everyone reading. Boy, I am just always amazing at Carolyn Myss' wisdom and insight.

"In many ways the spiritual challenges of 'waiting' and becoming a different quality of person makes more of a contribution to this world than financing a new hospital. This may be difficult to understand. We are unaccustomed to giving value to what we cannot see, and we cannot see the power emitted from a healthy pyche. Thus, those whose work is 'waiting and becoming' can often appear useless. But in "waiting and becoming" is the symbolic meaning of being 'called to ordination' - that is, allowing the Divine to awaken part of your spirit that contains the essence of what you are capable of contributing to others as well as to yourself....

"We have to reconstruct ourselves from the inside out, a process that always brings about numerous changes in our lives. I have yet to find a person pursuing a path of conscious awakening who has not experienced a time of 'waiting,' during which his or her interior is reconstructed. And as with all matters of the spirit, once we start along the path there is no turning back."

"So many people are struggling to find their way are in that necessary but confusing state of waiting. A part of each of them is eager to allow the Divine will to direct their lives, yet they remain tormented by the fear that they will lose all comfort on the physical plane should they actually surrender to it. So they are held in a waiting position until they are strong enough to release that ear and embrace the deeper truth that 'all is well' - not 'well' by our definition, perhaps, but certainly by God's."

I have been aware that I've been "reconstructing" a lot of things inside myself and in my family and in my home for many years now, and I've been aware of this fear Carolyn Myss speaks of as well. I think it was just this week that I realized how MUCH that fear is still with me, despite my efforts to flick it, burn it and will it away.

Today in my meditation I think I took a baby step to truly releasing it. At least I know I released another layer of it, for all things seem to be in layers...

Thanks for the space to continue to explore these issues, Lissa. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

Love, Light and Stepping into Strength ~Dana

Thanks, Lissa! That means a

By Ryan Rigoli (not verified) on Tuesday, 10/27/2009 at 7:14 PM

Thanks, Lissa! That means a lot to me.

And see ya on Friday!

You will do it, Ryan. I see

By Lissa Rankin on Tuesday, 10/27/2009 at 7:00 PM

You will do it, Ryan. I see it happening already. You're taking such strides towards stepping into the person you've always known you are. You, like me, will be able to bridge the two worlds- the one you know well and have long worked within- and the one you're emerging into. Integrating your gifts will make you perfectly suited for the work you're meant to do in the world. We just have to get out of our own way in order to allow that to happen.

OH YEAH! Are you coming to the LOVE FEST? I"m so excited. Bought a kick ass PINK outfit today in Haight Ashbury (never been there- one of the Mojo Mentors insisted I had to go and we had a mojofull blast!) See you then. xoxo

Yeah...totally. I think

By Ryan Rigoli (not verified) on Tuesday, 10/27/2009 at 6:52 PM

Yeah...totally. I think patience is mine too. That freeway scenario sounds overly familiar. Started laughing just thinking about it.

Allowing myself to finally be a creator is my second lesson. And feeling deep down that it's ok to ask for great things to happen. Finally feeling that deeply along with my lesson for being more patient has made for an interesting combination. :)

I hear ya on the forthcoming part. For so long I had too many parts of me that weren't integrated and feel so relieved that it's getting more in alignment. I'm feeling this HUGE urge to get it all out there. Already have in many ways in person with people but now it's coming time to write it down and put it out there for everyone.

hopefully see ya friday at the sausalito event!

Oh, and as for the

By Lissa Rankin on Tuesday, 10/27/2009 at 6:34 PM

Oh, and as for the forthcomingness, Ryan- why not? What are we really hiding? I certainly don't expect anyone else to reveal as much as I do on the internet, but I've decided that telling my truth gives others permission to tell theirs, and without telling the truth (at least to ourselves), we never get to be authentically who we are meant to be.

Ryan, I'm with you- really. I

By Lissa Rankin on Tuesday, 10/27/2009 at 6:32 PM

Ryan, I'm with you- really. I believe patience is the lesson I'm supposed to learn in life. I think that's why I've been put into this little town in West Marin where I have to drive behind tourists on Highway 1 in order to get home. The speed limit is 55 and the tourists literally go 15 because of the steep, windy roads....and I sit there, breathing, learning to revel in the beauty that surrounds me. I will learn patience. I will learn patience. I will learn patience. Why are we always in such a hurry?

Love it! Thanks, Lissa. Such

By Ryan Rigoli (not verified) on Tuesday, 10/27/2009 at 4:05 PM

Love it! Thanks, Lissa. Such a great reminder for me. I'm always dancing with impatience. Even with my path becoming more clear the little guy still stands there knocking away wanting things to speed way up.

And thanks for your honesty too. I really like how forthcoming you are with all that has happened for you.

I like the "be" to "becoming" idea too.

Take care Ryan

Thank you Alice, Megan &

By Lissa Rankin on Tuesday, 10/27/2009 at 8:27 AM

Thank you Alice, Megan & Dana! I have to admit that it really wasn't until the waiting was nearly over that I came to realize what a fruitful process waiting and becoming can be. I just thought I'd share for those who are still waiting that there is much richness to be had.

And Dana, I love what you say about the zigging and zagging..Yes. In this moment right now, there is no waiting- just BEing. Let it be.

Waiting and Becoming.... You

By Dana Theus on Tuesday, 10/27/2009 at 8:03 AM

Waiting and Becoming.... You are so right on. I am guilty of zigging and zagging between the waiting and the Becoming: when I am Waiting, I want to become and when I'm Becoming I want to Wait (slow things down!). I'm trying to get better at both! It seems to me that the "problem" I have with both is a lack of faith, which is paradoxical with the living in the Now that Alice references. To live in the Now without anxiety you must have faith that things will change, and yet not obsess about the change so that you lose focus on the Now. It's enough to confuse the most enlightened of spirit - and yet there is wisdom buried within this struggle:)

When I'm Waiting, the thought that gets me through is one of agriculture:) When I'm Becoming imagine that I'm planting seeds - in myself and in the world. And when I'm Waiting, I am nurturing and incubating them so that I can reap their fruit when they spring forth and demand that I go Become some more. The truth is that we're ALWAYS Becoming, it's just sometimes more apparent to us than when we're Waiting.

In our modern life we've lost touch with the seasons of the earth that used to force these cycles a bit more than they do now - reducing our energy in the winter and pitching it up in the summer (unless you live in a Mediterranean/Equator clime, where it can be the opposite). Those natural cycles are now less dictated by the weather and more by our own energy patterns. When I think of it this way, I'm more patient.

Thanks for the call yesterday. I really enjoyed it and thought you, Caroline and Joy did an awesome job moderating. I look forward to the opportunity for more such sharing in the future.

Love and blessings to you for creating this space and sharing with us all.

~Dana

I'm so glad you addressed

By Megan Monique Harner on Tuesday, 10/27/2009 at 8:00 AM

I'm so glad you addressed this Lissa. I have always been an impatient person. As I get older, it's gets easier for me to wait, but there is still that anxiety sitting in the pit of my stomach from time to time, filled with worries, what-if's and discouraging thoughts. I have to constantly remind myself that it is not my job to worry about the who's and how's of what it is that I want out of life, it is just my job to take steps to get there. The rest of the process is up to God and I MUST practice my patience. Everything I am working towards will come in due time, just when it is suppose to.

Hi Lissa! I enjoyed the Mojo

By Alice (not verified) on Tuesday, 10/27/2009 at 5:09 AM

Hi Lissa! I enjoyed the Mojo Live call yesterday, and especially the meditation Caroline led for us all. It helped me release much of my muck! I am in this waiting space for sure, and anticipation is very hard. I am not good at waiting either, and I admire the way you learned to embrace it. I am working on this concept of living in the moment, BEing, and surrendering the process pieces to the Universe. It ain't easy for me! I've always been a planner, so that part is hard to let go. But I'm striving to do it! The anxiety of wondering what's coming next takes its toll and is hard to overcome. I know I'm growing and moving toward some big changes, and any day that shift can happen. Mostly I want to thank you for all you do, Lissa! You are amazing and inspirational, always. With much love, Alice

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