Hey Pinkies,
Joy here today with a rather scary prospect for Mojo Monday. Shut off your TV.
“But-” Oh no, you heard me. Shut off your TV. Not only that: turn off the radio, leave the newspaper folded, and stay off CNN.com.
“But-” No. Really. Everything. Off.
“But how are we going to know what’s going on? How will we stay informed of how many people died of swine flu this week, or whether anyone was kidnapped on Halloween, or when the Bay Bridge will be fixed, or tomorrow’s weather, or ….?”
I know, how indeed?
It all started with cable
About four years ago, my boyfriend and I decided to cancel cable TV (we had never really watched networks in the first place, so in essence we were becoming a no-TV household). Trying to explain that to the cable company was almost as entertaining as cable itself:
“Ah, so you’d like to switch to a different package?”
“No, just cancel.”
“Cancel HBO and Showtime?”
“No, cancel everything.”
“Oh, so you’re switching to another provider. You know, we can offer…”
“Nope, not switching. Just no more cable. Shut cable off.”
“Oh, okay. But … huh?”
And on and on. It was priceless. However, ever since the cable dude finally did compute that there would be no more television in our lives, there hasn’t been a day where we’ve craved a good two-hour channel surfing session. No more advertisements, no more absurd, sensationalized scare-the-bejeezus-out-of-you news. We still rented movies, and the rest of the freed-up time was quickly filled with activities like, oh, going outside. Talking to each other. Creative projects. Weird things of that nature.
One by one, I shut them down
At the time, I still had a 30-minute car commute to work, during which I would tune in to NPR to get my “fix.” I suppose it was like weaning from an addiction instead of going cold turkey. However, eventually, even radio news became strangely unpalatable to me, and I switched to CDs or silence (strongly preferring the latter). And as for the old interweb, nowadays, the newsiest website in my daily repertoire is Facebook (I spent last week baffled as to who this “balloon boy” was, and why everyone was so gravely concerned over something that sounded so … buoyant).
I once heard someone say on the topic of media isolation, “if there’s something you need to hear, you’ll hear it.” That’s proven very true across the past few years. There will always be someone in your life who is plugged in and will remind you that the clocks get turned back this weekend, or that a storm is coming, or that the Obamas have added a rare species of beet to their organic garden. The universe will make sure you get the messages you need to hear.
What are we so desperate to know?
I began thinking recently about why so many are hesitant to disconnect, even for a day or a few hours. What is our fundamental need to know what is going on in every corner of the world? Sure, there is the matter of feeling connected to our fellow peops and to a world bigger than ourselves. But is the way to achieve this by paying rapt attention to wars and violence, poverty and disease?* What is it we hope to attain through our focus on them? Aren’t we only subjecting ourselves to the reality of how little control we have over the world outside of us? Perhaps we think that if we watch it we can keep it at bay and it can’t surprise us.
*Though I haven’t checked it out yet, Lissa informed me of Daryn Kagan, a news anchor who was ousted from CNN and now has a website that reports only inspiring stories. Which, mind you, are no less true than the ones reported on CNN. Hooray for Daryn.
Choice and surrender
Ultimately, our reality is comprised of that upon which we put our focus. Your world isn’t separate from the world. To you, your world IS the world. How can it be any other way? As for my world, how much violence, disease, and despair do you think exists? Answer: very little. Sure, I have my fears. Friends are sick. I know there are wars raging overseas. I know the ice caps are melting. I know that there are children starving. I know that there is murder and rape. I know that millions of people die of cancer every year.
I also know that there is not one damn thing I can do about any of it. I have surrendered to that knowledge, and doing so has lifted an enormous burden off of my shoulders.
But there is stuff I can do that feels much less burdensome. I can smile at strangers. I can be good to my own body and honor the earth. And as far as connection to the world greater than myself … I can stand and look out at the ocean, stare up at the stars or dance under the moon. I can hike up a mountain. I can sit in silence and listen; I can converse and learn. I can stay awake to miracles and synchronicities. I can take in the love of my family and friends, and give back out to them from my heart of hearts. In doing this, I understand that we’re all connected anyway, without having to try.
We already know, without being told
We don’t need the news to tell us how to act or what to fear. We don’t need commercials to tell us what we need. We each have strong internal compasses for that. Inner wisdom tells us how to care for our bodies to make them less susceptible to illness. It also tells us that kindness, love, and generosity are not only the answers to society’s ills, but also the most genuine and truthful way to be in the world. We know the pang of regret we feel when we throw a soda can out the window and onto mama earth. We know the things by which we feel fulfilled. We know what it is to be heart-connected to someone else. In other words, Pinkies, we KNOW what is right and wrong based on how we FEEL. Placing the focus outside of ourselves is never going to get us to the truth.
Let them do what they will
We also don’t need to be angry at networks, news organizations and advertisements to try to hoist all of this on us. We don’t need to blame them for obesity and shopping addictions. We don’t need to rage against the machine, as it were, as that only perpetuates the cycle of angst and adds violence to violence. All we need to do is disengage. If we keep arguing our “case,” they’ll keep arguing theirs. To fight in defense implies that there’s a fight, which is as unhealthy as passively taking it in. It takes far less effort and energy to simply disengage from that which does not serve, and put our focus on the stuff that feeds us.
Am I missing something?
So am I naïve, clueless, or in grave danger of some unknown evil blindsiding me because I didn’t know about it? Perhaps. But I can’t speak to any reality outside of what I FEEL. And I feel … balance, actually. I feel complete. My focus and energy are free to be applied to other things that feel to me like truer pursuits. Am I bored? Hells no. You’ll be amazed at what swoops in to fill the media void once you’ve made the conscious choice to start listening to the messages from within … sponsored by no one.
Do you think you can do it Pinkies? Go one day without watching TV, listening to the news, picking up the paper or reading the Huffington Post? What are your fears? Why do you feel the need to stay connected? Or have you followed the advice of the bumper sticker to “shoot your TV?” What was your reasoning, and what has been your experience?
Blissfully unplugged (but not ignorant),
Joy
Tags: cable tv, cnn, connection, daryn kagan, disease, energy, facebook, fellow man, focus, fulfillment, ignorance, inner compass, kindness, media isolation, naivete, nature, news, npr, poverty, shoot your tv, shut off your tv, television, violence, war
Joy, I love reading your posts. I feel like we are having a conversation every time you write.
I can conquer, life is better without TV. It allows you to explore more aspects of yourself.
Joy, I turned off cable officially 4 years ago too! And now it’s been almost a year that we ditched the TV completely (now if we want to watch movies, we do so on the computer- it’s a special rare treat). It certainly has made things easy with my daughter- no fighting about what she can and can’t watch. And we simply don’t miss it. Instead, to wind down, we read…I credit our lack of TV with bonding our family further together and helping me focus my creative energy, rather than “shutting off.”
Try it, Pinkies! You might be surprised at the shifts that occur.
I love that idea. I try to have a couple of nights out of the week where I don’t watch tv during the evenings and try to limit it on weekends. This weekend, I was able to watch a total of an hour and found through everything else that was going on, I didn’t miss it. I had too much to do otherwise! And getting up at 5 am like I did, I knew there would be nothing on, so I began to work on a project for a friend and knocked it out in two mornings. I love the idea and think I will try to put it in force more often.
My first step was to stop reading magazines about a year ago. Before that, I used to think it was a harmless escape to read about celebrity diets, love affairs, breakups etc. But it was harmful because it was keeping me from experiencing my own reality. It enabled comparing myself to ‘less than real’ people even if I wasn’t aware of it. I watch very little tv and never ever read a newspaper and I can truly say that the absence of media has made a huge difference in how much I tune in to my own reality. Thanks for sharing.
Good for you, Donna. If nothing else, turning off the TV will ramp up your productivity and your innate creativity. Enjoy the silence!
Lynn, what you say about how magazines were keeping you from experiencing your own reality is so key. Magazines and TV help us escape- but why do we want to escape, when we could be living the blissful lives we know we are meant to live?
My wife and I lived for a year without cable and I admit that we used to be more productive. I am not sure, though, if I could go without all media devices. How could I check out Owning Pink then.
Oh, I agree Ben! I can’t cut out all media. I read Rolling Stone cover to cover and am on my computer all the time. I guess what I’ve done is decided to be selective about what I allow to influence my day-to-day life. It’s changed how I look at the world. Instead of seeing it as a scary, judgmental place, now I see it as magical, mystical, and full of possibility. How much of that relates to media, I can’t say. But it’s a piece of the puzzle for me and I know it is for Joy, as well. Thanks for your thoughts!
It’s amazing what “unplugging” can do for your building closer relationships with your family!
For your children’s sake, I highly recommend at least one week a year without TV. Consider reading Marie Winn’s book for more details on the benefits of this practice: http://mariewinn.com/plugin.htm
Thank you for sharing about Marie Winn’s book, Pamela. When I was in college, I read a book called Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television. I guess it affected me profoundly….My ex-husband’s family would sit around during Thanksgiving without even engaging each other- just staring at the boob tube. There’s so much more to life…
I have no tv. I have no cell phone. My college age children grew up with sports and travel when I could afford it. We did classic films instead of cartoons. You would be amazed at how much they picked up! They are well on their way to becoming professional writers and journalists [read story-tellers] now. I listen to KQED on my little tabletop radio because it is full of fascinating stories and reporting, and the reporting is topknotch. I want to know what is going on in the world, but it never occurred to me to go to People, for example, or even Fox News, for INFORMATION. It is important to know what is going on in the world. Otherwise, I would not necessarily be aware of how every choice I make every minute of every day impacts the world around me. And it does. I have that much respect and concern for my fellow human beings in Botswana and Australia and the UAE. Of course, I can’t make sweeping global changes to correct the wrongs private corporations and my government and other governments have wrought on the less fortunate. But knowing about it allows me to make wise choices, and that is also my contribution to my own well-being and the well-being of those I will never meet. It ALWAYS starts at home.
Amen, sister. Thank you for sharing your alternate ways to stay in touch and aware.
Another awesome post by Joy! Funny timing, too, because I recently decided that to get from here to “there” (where I want to be), I need more time in my daily routine. Therefore, the TV is remaining off. (But I’m cheating, I’ve got DVR. I’ll be recording my favorite shows and catching up on them on lazy Friday nights or Sunday mornings. It is what it is – Glee and Community are works of television art in my mind and anything that brings me joy gets to stay in my life.)
I do remember the first time I lived alone – I was terrified. The TV was my companion, comforting background noise. It made me feel less alone and more connected to the world (I live in a city where people do not connect well with strangers and I was terribly lonely at that time in my life). So I can understand why people watch so much TV… but it’s numbing and it’s a total time-suck. These days I have other things I want to spend my time doing and to accomplish my goals, the TV will be off.
I hear you Erin. When my Dad died, Mom started watching a lot of TV, just so the house wasn’t so silent and she didn’t feel so lonely. We all figure out what we need.
Wow, thanks to everyone for your incredible insights. Donna — totally, me too. It started with magazines (I’d forgotten about that!). I realized reading them only ever made me feel crappy about myself.
While I do think elimination of media (some, not all – good points!) creates spaciousness and room for other stuff in people’s lives, I can also attest to the need for it. I am probably Netflix’s best customer – I love crossing the threshold of day into night with a good movie or HBO series. And
Janet, I so get the loneliness thing … for me, it was/is the show Sex & The City that makes me feel like my friends are around. =)
As with literature, theater, or any other arts, there’s tons of value in a well crafted movie, program, radio show, documentary … As with so many other things in life, I suppose it is a matter of finding balance in what we choose to let into our worlds. Checking in with what we really NEED versus what we are simply letting distract or confuse us.
Thanks everyone for your comments! xo
Great post, Joy! Love it. Totally agree with you too.
And great to meet you at the event last weekend! Let’s stay in touch.
Ryan