A Crossroads
I am at a crossroads in my life, and as often happens at crossroads, I feel a bit of pain. Down one of three or four potential roads I might walk lies strange but exciting newness. Down another, loss, but with possibility. A third would require potentially painful growth. A fourth, complete uncertainty. None will be easy. All will require a stretch, and with stretching, we tend to hurt.
Avoiding Pain
When something starts to hurt, we have a tendency to pull back. After all, hurt is something to avoid, right? But what about taking a yoga class? Don’t you find yourself in poses that are, at once, completely liberating but hurt like the dickens? I know I do. It’s tempting to stretch too far- to let your ego get caught up in “success,” while you push yourself beyond safe limits and wind up with a torn hamstring. So how do you know where that limit lies? What’s the difference between good stretch and bad stretch?
Wisdom of the Body
I’ve found that my body tends to know. There’s a stretch that feels invigorating. It’s a challenge, and stepping up to the plate feels fantastic when you achieve it. By stretching gently, you slowly surrender more deeply into the pose, freeing your mind and unleashing your spirit. But there’s another type of stretch that just feels wrong. You tweak something, feel pain biting into you, and get a sense of dread about what’s happening. One is to be celebrated. The other is best avoided.
How can you tell the difference? You have to listen to your body, mind, and spirit. When you’re stretching, you know the difference between a good stretch and a bad one. It’s when we ignore the messages that suffering happens.
Resting in Child’s Pose
In my life, three of the possible roads feel like good stretches. One feels like a bad one. But I’m going to keep standing at the crossroads for a while, resting, rejuvenating, growing, and getting clarity about what lies ahead. I’m going to come out of that stretching yoga pose and rest into child’s pose until I feel strong enough, limber enough, to keep stretching. And that’s okay.
Stretching Out Of Our Comfort Zones
Some of you Pinkies in the Pink Posse forum may feel the same way. Maybe you’re finding that being vulnerable on the forum is stretching you. Maybe another Pinkie says something to you that stings and stretches you. Maybe you don’t feel met in just the way you might wish. Maybe you feel overstretched, like you’ve put too much of yourself out there. You might wonder if this is a bad stretch. And it could be- for you. Or it could be that liberating stretch that comes just before you are set free. Only you can know the difference, and you must honor where you are in your process.
It all comes back to being true to where you are. There is no right and wrong. Just like there is no right or wrong road at my intersection. My body just needs to feel which stretch feels like growth and which one feels like a pulled muscle.
Know what I mean, Pinkies? What about you? What stretches you?
Pulling back into child’s pose,
Lissa
Tags: challenge, child's pose, crossroads, limitations, loss, possibility, pulled muscle, stretch, yoga
Lissa,
As always, this is just what I needed to read. I am going through relationship issues (as you know.) Leaving where I am at feels like a necessary thing for me to do. But at times, mostly when I am worrying about him, I ‘pull back.’
I needed to hear that it is okay to have these stretches, so long as it feels good in some aspect.
Dearest Lissa,
With each stretch, you will grow. I know you’ll reach for the stretch that moves you in the best direction for you when you are ready to make that reach happen. Until then, know that we surround you with warm love, acceptance and support as you rest in child’s pose. We cradle you there.
Thank you for the wonderful post, and for sharing yourself as you do.
xoxo,
Alice
Thank YOU dear ones! I rest in good company, knowing I am safe…as are all of you.
WIth love,
Lissa
Lissa -
praying for you, loving you, and learning to stretch with you. thank you for being a coach who lives what she shares.
pose on,
Debbie ps- welcome to pre-winter in Ohio!
Thank you Debbie! We went to Amish country yesterday to shop for food and show Siena all the scenery. Pre-winter Ohio was showing us all its best
Lots of love to you and thank you for all the support,
Lissa
Beautiful photo of you! Your post speaks to me. Thanks for sharing sweet Lissa.
Whoosh.. really feelin’ ya here, Lissa. Thanks for posting. Gives me a lot to think about in “stretching” thru/in this holiday season. Facing the “out-of-my-comfort-zone family stretch… :\
Soon as I saw the title to this post I heard the voice of Glenda (I think) from the Wizard of Oz say “Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?” and I laughed…thanks Liss, I needed that.
As a yogini, yoga teacher (now that’s funny) and a laughter yoga leader (or babe as I call it) I concur with the sentiments here – honor where you are and don’t push so much, physically or emotionally, that you create a tear.
Oh, I posted this on FB but I simply CANNOT resist a little Thanksgiving humor…
eh-hem
Just think…If the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey, we would all be having a piece of ass this Thanksgiving! *laughing*
Enjoy all the Gobbling and give thanks – whatever happens, it’s all good. Giggle On!
Lissa! Just reading your writing makes me feel like I’ve connected with you – you always express your sentiments in ways I’m able to relate to.
Just know you’re not in this alone! I just (today!) signed up for yoga teacher training and honestly, child’s pose is the way to go – in yoga and otherwise. I remember vividly my first time doing Bikram Yoga – wow, hard. It was pretty much child’s pose the whole time.
Thank you – I, too, have been facing a crossroads and your insights have made me stop – perhaps not choose one of the many options, but just see what comes up. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hi! I’ve been following your blog for some time now, I love it!
I can’t help but recognize where you are, I think. Are you friends with Toby and Linda? My husband and I are and were married there last summer. Funny how were all connected.
-Jami Bright
Thank you for all the support, Pinkies.
And yes, Jami- I am friends with Toby and Linda- and yes, this photo was taken at their home!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone !
Lots of love
Lissa
This is a great analogy. I am just recovering from a nasty back whig out and the stretches I did to get me back to an upight balanced pose were reminiscent of life’s paths. Fun site! Keep supporting each other. It’s good to have each other’s backs in a safe, supportive way.
Thank you Mjudd! Yes, it’s all in the support of each other. We got your back, here. It’s a beautiful thing…