When we started Owning Pink just over six months ago, I set a personal goal- I wanted to write books. I had already written a memoir that Barbara Poelle, my literary agent who I lovingly call Monkey Barbara, shopped around. A whole slew of editors took the book to editorial boards, where it got shot down by a whole slew of marketing departments who didn’t know how to put it in a box. The glowing rejection letters piled up.
Set Goals, But Release Attachment to Specific Outcomes
But I refused to count this as failure. Instead, I figured that book just wasn’t ready to get published yet- or maybe, I wasn’t far enough along in my personal development to handle it. Either way, I still wanted to write books. I figured I’d wait for a Sign from the Universe. I decided to simply let go and let God.
Well, wouldn’t you know it. God took over. A few months later, an editor from St. Martin’s Press, who was familiar with my writing, ran into my agent and said, “I have a book idea and your client is the perfect person to write it.” When Rose Hilliard and I spoke about the project, Rose said the magic word, “empowering.” She wanted me to write a book answering the questions you’d only ask your gynecologist after three martinis. She figured we could use the opportunity to educate women as part of a greater goal to empower women to own who they really are. When Monkey Barbara was shopping the memoir, I felt like people kept putting me in a doctor box where I no longer fit comfortably, so I had resisted putting on my white coat, standing up on a pedestal and talking down to people. But I felt myself light up when Rose sent me the questions her girlfriends and female staffers at St. Martin’s had asked. Yes, I could use this book opportunity to help women Own Pink. So I wrote a book proposal, prayed like mad, and once more- I surrendered it to the Universe.
The Universe Listened
Voila. Suddenly, I had not one but four publishing houses fighting over the book proposal I wrote. But I stuck with St. Martin’s Press, where Rose believed in me and gave me a chance to realize my dream. She had been an answer to prayer, and the synchronicity between her idea and my dream felt like one of those Signs from the Universe I listen to. It honestly felt too good to be true. I mean- seriously- after a year of disappointment, an editor was going to just show up and hand me a book deal? Apparently, it’s that easy. You set goals, you release attachment to outcomes, and you just let go…
So I’ve been writing writing writing, and yesterday, I just sent the manuscript to Rose. I’M DONE, PINKIES! Amazing authors helped me along the way- Bonk, Spook & Stiff author Mary Roach, sexpert Lou Paget who wrote The Great Lover Playbook, S Factor founder Sheila Kelley, Barbara Whipple (who famously named the G spot- opting against the chance to name it the Whipple Tickle), Tantric sex goddess Caroline Muir, piercing guru and The Piercing Bible author Elayne Angel, and Susan Crain Bakos, author of The Sex Bible. And now- miracle of miracles- Dr. Christiane Northrup just agreed to write the foreword (Thank you Chris! I love you!)
Introducing My Book
Nine months from now, my book What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend will be on book shelves. And my dream is that it will unleash a whole revolution of Pinkies owning it. Hey, when I dream, I dream big!
Writing this book has been such a blessing for me. You Pinkies submitted amazing questions- hundreds of them (thank you Pinkies! YOU made this book!) Your candor, wit, and vulnerability built the perfect skeleton so I could flesh out what we collectively know, feel, live.
So what's the book about? Just imagine if your best friend was a gynecologist and you could talk candidly about every question you’ve ever had about gynecology, sex, and women’s health, all while drinking a glass of wine and sharing a good laugh? My girlfriends actually get to indulge in that kind of intimacy, asking me all the things they would never ask their doctors. Most women don’t have a gynecologist at their beck and call, so they share girl talk amongst themselves, often perpetuating myths and repeating misinformation. My goal is that What’s Up Down There? will help bridge that gap. I tried to answer your questions with typical Pink style, aiming to demystify the female body and all its quirky, eccentric intricacies, while empowering you to learn, grow, and celebrate the curious oddities that make us women. I say let’s invite the G spot, the scary metal duckbill, the bikini wax, and the feminine deodorant spray to come out of the closet. Let’s put the maxi pads, the douche bags, the sex toys, and the clitoris out there on the table for discussion. Let’s give vaginas a chance to shine, empowering women to embrace and own their femininity, with all its glorious pink power.
Now, the book is done, and I’m looking back on the magical journey that has lead me to this place in my life. You Pinkies were a big part of helping me realize my dream. That you care what I have to say helped convince publishers that there is an audience for what I write. And this is just the beginning. Somehow, I know and trust that there will be more books ahead. Maybe my memoir will even get published one day…
Never, Ever Give Up
The reason I wanted to share all this with you Pinkies is because I want to encourage you to never give up on your dreams. After a year of rejection, I might have convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough. If all those publishers passed on my book, I must lack the chops to be a professional author, right? After all, I had quit my job and spent a year of my life holed up in a cave writing a tell-all book. And it was all wasted, right? How many of you would have told yourself those stories if it had been you? How many would have given up on your dream?
Certainly, the gremlins of self-doubt jumped all over me, whispering evil nothings into my ear. I had dark nights of the soul when I lay silently in the dark, crying. My anxiety mounted and niggling voices threatened to rob me of my mojo. But I pulled out my Monster Spray (thanks Dana!) and clung to my dream. By golly, editorial boards could reject me, but nobody was going to take my dream away from me. I guess, deep down, I’ve always had the confidence that- no matter what happens- I would land butter side up.
What about you Pinkies? What’s your dream? What’s keeping you from pursuing it? Are the gremlins getting you down? Are you afraid to take a Pleap (Pink leap of faith)? Or have you Pleaped and then Unpleaped, because things aren’t happening effortlessly? Have you tried giving your dream a great big hug and then letting it go into the Universe?
Never, never, ever give up, Pinkies.
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