Hiya Pinkies – Please welcome back Lakenda and Simone, a.k.a. Good Witch/Bad Witch, Owning Pink’s Get Happy! Less Stress More Life Coaches. They’re here today with a very timely topic for the holiday season – taking time out for ourselves. Take it away, ladies!



The difference between self-care and selfish

Good Witch: The difference between self-care and selfish is really about how you run your energy and where you’re tapping into the source of that energy. Self-care is about tapping into source and personal energy and keeping those personal energy levels up so you can function well in the world. Selfish is the point where you’re taking on that vampiric energy. You’re looking to take on other people’s energy. In other words, you know that the “selfish act” will benefit you by benefit you by depleting someone else’s energy.

Bad Witch: Why the heck would someone want to do that?

GW: I think most people do it. I think most people don’t recognize that they can tap into source at any time. That self-care is taking that 5 minute Time Out to go to a quiet place to recoup your energy and clear your mind. Most people see the world as lack, and give and take, so they take. They don’t believe there’s an unlimited source.

BW: Ok, to that I would suggest that a person plan and habitualize taking the first 5 minutes of their day before opening their eyes to get centered and ask for a quality they want to guide and support them through the day. Then as the day progresses, especially when they’re stressed out or feeling wrung out by obligations to others, they go take 5 more minutes to reconnect with their morning request of and for themselves. Then do this same 5 minutes with gratitude at the end of the evening in bed, just before dozing off. By the end of a week of doing this daily, it should become an easier habit.

GW: I think one of the biggest issues we have with self-care is recognizing that it’s not selfish. Rather, by replenishing yourself, you’re helping others. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself, as opposed to running yourself down, having nothing left to give, and blaming the people around you because you didn’t take care of yourself.

BW: I think it’s selfish not to take care of oneself because the “duty” of it, if you will, still exists and you’re really being irresponsible ironically, not uber-responsible to others as you think. Being and taking responsibility is the hallmark of true maturity. Take care of yourself first!

GW: Remember the old adage, put your gas mask on, then help those around you. Why? Because if you pass out from lack of oxygen, who will be around to help them? Self-care is a selfless act that feeds your energy so you can be there to take care of the ones you love.



Work hard. Play harder.

Bad Witch: Just like taking care of you through self-care is not selfish, I think Working Hard and Playing Harder are equally important.

Good Witch: Playing hard is a great way to refill your energy tank from source. And by playing hard, I don’t mean vegging out in front of the TV. I mean actively participating in an activity that brings you joy.

BW: And yet, I want to speak up for “vegging out in front of the TV”-type things as a recuperative and potentially brain building activity. Chilling out and just laying there during the day has its own “Play Hard” benefits but it is a thin line between recuperating and zoning out. It’s the balance to working hard.

GW: It’s recuperative to a point but doesn’t provide that huge energy boost that playing hard will. When you’re engaged in an activity that brings you joy, whether it’s walking, riding, singing or dancing around your living room, it builds this energy reactor within your body. Your whole self is engaged: mind, body and spirit. Enjoy! And the energy just builds exponentially.

BW: Ooh! Dancing in your room! I will never stop being that 14-year-old girl with homework still to do, but dancing around with headphones on instead! Yes that’s true, the mind-body-spirit connection of this type of full-on, yet rhythmically mindless activity has definitely brought me to that space of Oneness – you know, we’ve all experienced it but as someone recently said, we’re scared of it, and try to “come back down” from it. I believe that place is utter connection, enlightenment and awareness that we are not just these bodies ­– just these deadlines and bills to pay – but something much, much bigger.

GW: Your comment about dancing while you still have work to do is contrary to the Work Hard Play Hard model.

BW: Mm...not to me. I understand what you mean logically, but for me, one pushes the other and both improve each other.

GW: It’s important to get the work done because the flip side of that – attempting to play hard to fill the batteries while you still have work to be done – leads to guilt, which is going to seriously inhibit the energy boost. However, that being said, do not put everything that has to be done ahead of self-care and boosting your energy. For example, sometimes when I know I have to make dinner, I turn on music and sing, and by the time dinner’s ready, I feel energized and the kids have a better meal because there’s all this great energy that went into its preparation. It’s a win-win for everybody.

BW: That’s cool! Because I don’t use Play as a procrastination tool but as a creative tool, I guess that points out to me how many different ways there are to Play AND work hard to good effect – you just have to experiment and find what works for you to get the work done and play to honor yourself.

What do you think, Pinkies? Do you take enough time to care for yourself? What do you do to replenish your reserves? Do you work harder, play harder, or is there a balance? Let us know.

Putting our Mojo first,

Lakenda and Simone