A Gutsy Guide to Getting Your Mojo Back

Dear Pinkies, please welcome back the wisest woman in my life, my best friend and Pink Mommy, Trish Rankin. She’s here today with some thoughts on dreams, transitions, and the miracles that exist in each of us. Take it away, Mommy, and thank you! – Lissa

***

Recently I heard a song* in the car that has tweaked my soul. The lines that particularly touched me were:

What would I do, if I knew that I could not fail?
If I believed, would the wind always fill up my sail?
How far would I go?

All the way home, I found the question rolling around the car as if it were a loose bottle of water seeking a place to settle. What would I do if I were brave? Would I seek my dream? Do I have a dream formulated or have I been afraid to even create one?

The Difficulty of Change

Since my husband died four years ago, I have tried to remake my way, but I am still far from who I think I can be. It would be easier to just go on as I am, remaining in the safety of the niche I’ve re-created. Change is hard and mine is no exception. David was my husband of 40 years as well as my best friend. We didn’t just co-exist – we shared life, and now I live alone. My purpose in life is now in question.

Venturing Out On My Own

In November I flew to Turkey alone, spent a week with our former foreign exchange student whom David and I were supposed to visit before he died. I was scared that something would go very wrong (and many of those fears were confirmed), but I did it. I then flew alone from Turkey to Greece, and connected with a small group from my church to go on a Mediterranean Cruise of four countries. I ended up in Greece alone an extra day due to a miscommunication and flew home alone.

I have never traveled abroad alone before and certainly not to a country where I couldn’t even speak the language, and where few I addressed could speak English. But I overcame my fears. I did it! I was brave, and I was proud!

So what would I ask if I could have anything? What is my dream?

My dream? It is to publish my recently completed book, and present 1-2 “Owning Joy after Loss” workshops a month, to help other women gracefully move through their grief journey. But that takes skill and persistence I’m not sure I possess. Doubt creeps in and steals my courage. My dream? To find love again, to fill my empty home with happiness through a committed loving relationship. But that takes risk, and I am striving each day to find the courage to confront that risk. I know I will.

Believe in the Miracle That Is You

Don’t be concerned about doing it alone. For there are miracles available within us – some large and some small. You don’t have to donate a kidney to become a miracle in someone else’s day or life.  A kind word, volunteering your time, a smile to an angry stranger, a changed heart – these are all small miracles that can change those around us and ultimately change who we are.

I have a sign in my dining room that says, “The poor woman is not one without a dime but one without a dream.”

So Pinkies-Dream big, knowing that the will of God never takes you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

What would YOUR dream look like, if you were not afraid? If you were brave? If you had courage to change anything you wished?

A MOJO MONDAY exercise:

1.  Give yourself a few minutes to close your eyes and fantasize. Where does your mind go if you give it permission to go anywhere exciting? What if you invited yourself to dream your biggest dreams, free of your inner critic and demons? What comes up? What would you do if you were BRAVE?  If you took fear out of the equation?

2.  Make a list of all of your wildest fantasies, your ginormous dreams- the life you might create if you took a Pleap (Pink leap of faith) and truly BELIEVED in yourself.

3. Now write a list of affirmations that will help you be brave. If your inner critic says, “You’re not smart enough,” your affirmation will be You are smart enough. If it says, “You don’t have enough money,” your affirmation is “Abundance is overflowing in my life.” Write as many affirmations as you can think of.

4. Now, try to still your mind in meditation for as long as you can manage (15-30 minutes is ideal. It opens up your mind to a place of receptivity).

5. After quiet meditation, start to dream your dream, in very specific detail. Visualize a day in your perfect life as if it was a movie. Don’t worry about the details of how and when. Just create the scene in your mind, believing it to be true. Imagine waking up in the morning. Feel what it feels like to be brave. What does your house look like? Your family? Your job? Your body? Your community? How do you FEEL in this brave life? How do things smell? How does life taste? Very as sensual and detailed as possible. Let your body live it.

6. There is a part of your brain that responds to this type of programming- (Lissa tells me it’s called the reticular activating system). When you stimulate it, it starts firing, and voila- before you know it- you begin to notice ways that your dreams might come true that you might not otherwise have noticed. Perhaps you need to find the perfect retail kitchen space so that you can open your dream restaurant. So there you are- at a cocktail party- and because your reticular activating system is now supercharged, your ears hear- from all the way across the room- some guy talking about how he has this kitchen for rent and needs to unload it really cheap. Had your brain not been fired up, you might never have noticed. So let’s do it, Pinkies. Let’s supercharge our reticular activating systems and be BRAVE!

6. After watching the movie reel in your head, open your eyes and read your list of affirmations out loud. Even better- read them into a tape recorder and play them with your eyes still closed. Believe them. LIVE them. KNOW them.

7. Repeat this exercise every day for a month- and see what happens.

What do you think, Pinkies. Are you in? I’m starting today…

Share your dreams, dear ones. What would you do if you were brave?

Getting braver ever day,

Trish

* “If I Were Brave” by Jana Stanfield

What would I do, if I knew that I could not fail?
If I believed, would the wind always fill up my sail?
How far would I go? What could I achieve,
trusting the hero in me?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,
where fools and dreamers dare to tread.
I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way.
What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?
What would I do today, if I were brave?

What if we’re all meant to do what we secretly dream?
What would you ask, if you knew you could have anything?
Like the mighty oak sleeps, in the heart of a seed,
are there miracles in you and me?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,
where fools and dreamers dare to tread.
I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way.
What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?
What would I do today, if I were brave?

If I refuse to listen to the voice of fear,
would the voice of courage whisper in my ear?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,
where fools and dreamers dare to tread.
I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way.
What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?
What would I do today, if I were brave?

Tags: death of a spouse, if I were brave, jana stanfield, miracles, Owning Joy After Loss, transition, Trish Rankin

This entry was posted on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 8:12 am and is filed under Finding Mojo, Guest Pinkies, Owning Joy After Loss, Owning Spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.