Dearest Pinkies, please welcome Stacey Curnow, a wonderful writer and beautiful spirit we found milling around the Pink Posse Blog. Stacey works as a certified nurse-midwife and life coach in North Carolina. Check out her work and her blog at www.midwifeforyourlife.com. Please give Stacey a warm welcome, and enjoy her wise words on the wisdom of the body.
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I consider my body my most trusted advisor. I think it assimilates information from the Universe that I can’t understand fully at first. You see, I know the Universe wants my best life, but sometimes I don’t heed its advice – sometimes I’m convinced I don’t even hear it.
It’s like Oprah says: Life sends you messages – first it will put a pebble in your path, then a rock, and then a brick wall. If I don’t hear the plink of the pebble, the rock shows up – usually as a bodily symptom. I pay attention because I really want to avoid hitting that brick wall.
If I ignore my body’s messages, it’s capable of great drama. In fact, I’ve seen my body produce some Oscar-worthy performances.
I work as a nurse-midwife in a hospital. I consult with physicians when I am caring for a woman who is considered high-risk and occasionally I don’t agree with the physician’s plan for managing a particular case.
One night I told a doctor that I was disinclined to follow his plan and he responded by saying, “That’s why I’m here, to tell you what to do.” Those weren’t his exact words, but you get the point.
I knew the doctor’s plan was not going to cause harm and I didn’t want further conflict, so I followed his orders. Within a few hours I lost my voice. My throat hurt and I couldn’t speak above a whisper.
As soon as I got home I looked up laryngitis in my well-worn copy of Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. I believe the book provides clues to understanding the messages underlying an illness or imbalance in your body. If you decipher these messages and, more importantly, act on them by changing your thinking, you will improve your life.
For laryngitis she writes that the probable cause is “So mad you can’t speak. Fear of speaking up. Resentment of authority.” I was struck by the truth of this: I was mad. I had been afraid to speak up to the doctor. And I resented that he didn’t seem to value my expertise.
The new thought pattern she offers is “I am free to ask for what I want. It is safe to express myself. I am at peace.” I applied this new thought to my mind like a healing balm and got my voice back quickly after that.
The affirmation also helped me gain insight into the fact that I don’t need to compel the doctors to agree with me or even to see my side. All I can do is use my best judgment and present a plan of care. And trust that all is well.
For me, being at peace means that my worth is not predicated on others valuing me. I value me.
Since that epiphany I’ve had other differences of opinion with my physician colleagues but I haven’t had that sense that my value as a practitioner was diminished. And I’ve never lost my voice again.
Many of my coaching clients are women in their middle years and a common issue is insomnia. We all know that there are lots of suggestions for how to improve your sleep through better habits – like eliminating caffeine, increasing magnesium, exercise, routine bedtimes and getting acupuncture. All of these strategies address the hormonal changes that come with menopause.
But insomnia is often a way our body clues us into a deeper truth about ourselves. Christiane Northrup, M.D., in her excellent “The Wisdom of Menopause,” writes that insomnia and fatigue are frequently “the result of unprocessed and unresolved emotions such as anger, sadness, or anxiety,” which accompany the enormous changes of midlife.
She encourages her readers to identify the emotions that challenge them and look for their underlying meanings. Are you anxious about a daughter getting into her preferred college? Do you feel guilty about the things haven’t gotten done in a day? Do you feel resentful that everything seems to depend on you?
Louise Hay’s affirmation for insomnia is “I lovingly release the day and slip into peaceful sleep, knowing tomorrow will take care of itself.” When you have good sleep “hygiene,” when you address the probable causes — and when you release the negative emotions that occupy your waking life—you will, most likely, find yourself able to sleep like a baby.
You don’t need a copy of Louise Hay’s or Christiane Northrup’s books (although I highly recommend them!) because all you really need to know is that if you ignore the wisdom available to you, your body can create a painful drama.
On the other hand, the Universe wants you to know that you are worthy of love and respect and you can have a life filled with health, happiness, connection and joy – you just have to listen.
Do you think your body may be trying to tell you something right now?
Paying loving attention,
Stacey
Tags: body clues, Christiane Northrup, doctor, laryngitis, life coach, louise hay, midwife, midwife for your life, oprah, stacey curnow, the wisdom of menopause
Hello Stacey!
Thanks so much for posting that, gotta say, I agree on the whole point!
In particular with the “For me, being at peace means that my worth is not predicated on others valuing me. I value me.” part.
I spent most of my life acting to gain people’s approvement. It is important, to feel worthy, but in my own terms.
Now I’ve got a terrible backache, is my body trying to tell me something?…
Probably that I do tend to take on myself others weights, for the same reason I serched approval.
I don’t feel worthy.
Or maybe I just need to rest, because I worked too much, probably,
because of the commitment syndrom…
Anyways, thanks, You made me feel a lot less alone!!
Love, Blessings,
Lisa
Thank you so much Stacey. As an MD practicing holistic women’s health, this SO resonates with me. (Would you believe I’m reading the Louise Hay book for the first time right now! And Christiane Northrup is my hero- who wrote the foreword to my upcoming book What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend. Small world)
Yes, our bodies are WISE. If we don’t listen when our bodies whisper, they start to scream. It behooves us to honor the wisdom of the body, as it is the vessel for all that we are.
Thank you Stacey!
With love
Lissa
And Lisa, you ARE valuable. You are precious, magnificent, and perfect, just the way you are. I SEE you- and I see beauty and wonder.
What is your back trying to tell you? Perhaps you’re tired of carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Perhaps your body is telling you to release the tension you feel. Perhaps you simply need rest. What do YOU think your body is telling you? (You said it already- “I tend ot take on myself others weights.”) How can you release that? What would that look like?
Here, holding you while you listen to what your body has to say,
Lissa
Ooh! I am SO delighted to find myself here on the “Main Stage” of Owning Pink. I love this community SO much – mostly because I love one of its messages: to love ourselves and honor our bodies.
Well, I love all of its messages, but I am most excited about this one because it tends to get lost in the hubbub of a busy life.
I appreciate SO much, Lisa, that you left your kind note to attest to this too.
And I agree with Lissa that you seem to already know what your body may be telling you with back pain.
Louise Hay has several different takes on it depending on whether it is upper, middle or lower back pain, but the probable cause is always linked to a perceived lack of support.
An affirmation that may be helpful is “I love and approve of myself. Life supports and loves me.” And a question to lead your intentions and actions may be “How can I ask for and receive the support I need?”
Thank you, Pinkies, SO much for all the light you shine in the world!!!
Bless you Stacey for being here to support the Pinkies and for all that you are
Aw, thanks SO much, Lissa! You are one of my (s)heroes!
Hi Stacey.
Welcome to the “main stage” as you call it. Hope to see more of you here.
Thank you so much for this post. You mentioned three of my favorite women all in one post: Oprah, Louise Hay and Christiane Northrup (who I happen to work with on Team Northrup).
I always turn to Louise Hay’s book when I get a message from my body. I have one I’ve been trying to figure out for a while so I guess I’d better look up the affirmation again.
I have to say, sometimes when I’d find the connection to what ever is going on in Louise Hay’s book, I’d blame myself up for creating it. Not a good route to healing!
I love Christiane Northrup’s take on this. She has often told me, “We are responsible TO our illness [ache, pain, laryngitis] but not FOR our illness.” Ahhh…such a relief!
Thank you for the reminder to listen to the messages our body is sending us. It’s often much, much smarter than our ego-driven brains!
Love,
Danielle
Hi Danielle!
Wow! A member of “Team Northrup” – that sounds so fabulous!
Thanks so much for your kind note and sharing Christiane Northrup’s excellent suggestion!
Yes, I also think of it as we’re not “responsible” in terms of a negative judgment, but we are “response-able”. We can have a loving response and hopefully it can bring us healing.
Yee haw, Pinkies! I’m seriously diggin’ this thread of comments. I echo the feeling of resisting telling people they cause their own illnesses. What a burden to bear on top of a cancer diagnosis, for example. Not only do I have a life-threatening illness, but now it’s all my fault? No….that doesn’t work for me. But I do believe our bodies speak to us and that we have the power to heal ourselves.
And I just love the Dr. Northrup quote (thanks Danielle for sharing it! That chica and I have just got to meet sometime…she’s my kinda Pink Goddess!)
And yes, Stacey- response-able! Perfect!
Keep ‘em coming! This conversation is SO up my alley!
I am having such a good time “listening” to this conversation. What love and support! Stacey, I love you!
Yes! I LOVE this conversation! You know that question about who you would invite to your “dream” dinner date?
For me it would include all the Pinkies – including the honorary ones – Christiane Northrup, Louise Hay and Maya Angelou!
So, yes, let’s continue this conversation…and also add who you would also like to invite to the table!
Ooh- who would I invite to my dream dinner date? Damn- it would have to be one helluva big round table!
Yes, yes- all the Pinkies. I can’t wait to meet each one of you in person some day. And yes, I’m dying to meet Chris Northrup (& the rest of your crew, Stacey!). Also, Elizabeth Gilbert, Oprah, Isabel Allende, Toni Morrison, Anne Lamott, Marianne Williamson, Jack Kornfield….Oh man, I could go on….
Stacey, you rock! Thank you for keeping us thinking (and feeling….)
YAY Stacey, this is such wonderful insight from two of my FAVORITE authors. Thank you for putting it together so eloquently.
I would add Debbie Ford to the table, I have spent time with her and she was not afraid to call out “B.S.” straight to my face without reserve when I was kidding myself.
Ooh- I second Debbie Ford! She’s definitely invited!
Lissa, your comment made me laugh out loud – yes, it would be a mighty big table at your dream dinner date!
And thanks SO much, Carla, for your lovely comment – that makes me feel great! And I’m afraid I don’t know who Debbie Ford is! If you come back here, could you please share a link to her?
Oh, Stacey- you’ll LOVE Debbie Ford.
here’s her website:
http://www.debbieford.com/
I LOVED this book: http://www.amazon.com/Dark-Side-Light-Chasers-Reclaiming/dp/1573227358/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264711461&sr=1-3
Maybe we can do it as a Pink book club selection soon!
Stacey, Lissa & Carla-
I so want to come to that dinner table but I’m thinking we might need to make it a slumber party.
There’s WAY too much fun to be had to limit ourselves to just a meal!
OK, I call PILLOW FIGHT! tee hee
Oh, this is SO much fun! Joyjoyjoy!
And, thank you Carla SO much for mentioning Debbie Ford and Lissa for giving me the link – I just watched Debbie’s short video and I can tell she is a powerful healer! And she definitely gets invited to the Pink Posse Pussy Power Slumber Party and Pillow Fight! (Now there’s an image!!!)
Now….why did I have to be born on this side of the world?! I ‘d say it’s highly improbable that I’ll be able to come…but GIRL…WOULD I like like to come!!!!
Love, Hugs and blessings to you all lucky ones!!!
Lisa
Okay- I’m seriously seeing this happen! The Pink Posse Pussy Power Slumber Party & Pillow Fight (who could resist showing up at that event????) Manifesting….
Lissa-
I think we must invite Mama Gena (www.MamaGenas.com) and Carline Muir ( http://www.carolinemuir.com) too. If you say you’re manifesting…LOOK OUT! Can’t wait for this party.
Stacy- Love the name: The Pink Posse Pussy Power Slumber Party & Pillow Fight
This is my kind of co-creation!
Oh, FOR SURE! Mama Gena and Caroline Muir are definitely invited! (Okay, so where can we do this???? Oh, I gotta find just the right footie pajamas!)
Okay, sorry Pink Gods- this one’s gotta be girls only (Sorry, we love you Fred, Matt, Christian & Jason, among others!) I’m inviting Becca, Genevieve, Katsy, Diane, Amy, Trish, Keli, Carmen, Elisabeth, Jory, Jacqueline, JoyJoy, Trudy, Kim, Jo, Sarah, Nancy, Beth, Michelle, & Anne (my personal posse!) And of course- ALL you PInkies are invited!
Who from your personal posse would YOU invite to the Pink Posse Pussy Power Slumber Party & Pillow Fight?
(oh- and can I invite Kris Carr, Julia Roberts, Ellen Degeneres, Pink & Sheila Kelley too? Let’s have some serious fun (Sheila- bring the pole for pole dancing!)
This is hysterical.
OMG! What a comment thread!!! LOL.. Love your slumber party guest list.. i think i would add Linda Living Joy Lorenzo..and Colette Baron-Reid..and I’ll bring the popcorn and adult beverages..lol..
I too find that when my throat begins to hurt or lose my voice its because i’m madder than hell and need to get my voice heard.. so i do let it go, i write it down and my throat eases up. Lots to do with the marriage issue.
Now to figure out why the mid back hurts all the time besides the fibromyalgia.
Taking ssssssooooo many pleaps this last two weeks.. soo i could use a pink posse pussy power slumber party.. Who’s getting their ears pierced or the perm?? lol…
Welcome to the main stage darlin Stacey!!!
What about SARK? She’s a Power Pink for sure!
http://www.planetsark.com/
Holy Smokes Pinkies…..I am totally in on this gig!!!
Bring it on!
Oh my goodness, I just laughed out loud while reading this thread. My son is playing a game next to me and said, “Are you happy because I just beat a fire ball?” Oh, it’s hard to tell where all this delight is coming from but I appreciate it SO much!!! I have to admit I don’t know many of the women who are being invited but I can’t wait to meet them…now to do a massive Google search!
Omg! Stacey you delivered my 2nd son in Asheville! So funny to see you here! I was just at Mahec Midwives yesterday and was thinking about you, wondering where you were at. Then I see you here! Wild! So a book a just finished wish was great is : The Red Book by Sera Beak. She should definetely be at that dinner table and/or the sleepover ! She’s called the spiritual cowgirl. Google her if you haven’t heard of her!
Okay, I”m wiggin’ now! How small a world is this? Stacey and Karen- how lovely to have you reunite. Miracles just keep happening here (of course!)
Now talk amongst yourselves, girlfriends!
OMG is right, Karen!!! I left MAHEC in 2002 to work with Doctors Without Borders in Mexico. When I came back I wanted to work with a predominantly Latina population and (since the Health Department in Asheville only hires family practice docs) I had to cast a wide net and landed in Hickory where I have practiced for the last 7 years (although I maintain happy residence in Asheville). It makes me VERY happy to see you here!!! And thanks so much, too, for leaving a recommendation: I don’t know Sera Beak – so off to Google Land again I go!
Stacey, I found out about Owning Pink because of a sacred circle that I started here in Asheville, and we had signed up for a sacred circle curriculum, through someone in Florida who’s website is called EVE: Every Woman’s Evolution. Lissa was one of the women who helped write for one of the month’s curriculum on MOJO! By the way Lissa…that month when we used your curriculum, I made a MOJO CD of music, and burned it for all of the women in the circle. Now they had the idea to have us all created a MOJO cd to give to everyone else! It’s been really fun to do!
This just goes to show us how we are REALLY all connected!!!
Hi again, Karen!
Thanks so much for coming back here and sharing more of your story – it just made my day. It really does feel like we are all threads in this giant beautiful tapestry and it’s so much fun when the threads get to cross again and form a new pattern! I’d love to hear more about your sacred women’s circle – if you like you could email me off list at stacey (at) midwifeforyourlife (dot) com.
I hope you and your sweet family are enjoying the snow! My fingers are still a little frozen and numb from spending all morning and day outside with son!
Karen, what a small world! Angela Frisby, founder of EVE, is a friend of mine! Oh yeah- we are all connected!
too bad I didn’t tune in this weekend, not only did I miss my blog posting on the main page, but I missed this hysterical threat.
if it’s not too late, I would add Judy Chicago to the slumber party (and Georgia O’Keeffe is she were still alive). Marion Woodman (jungian psychologist) and Diana Gabaldon, author. Why not Norah Jones, and Diana Krall, Alison Krauss for some music? All my other heroes are already there, and you lovely ladies.
ps I meant thread, not threat!
Oooh- yes! This slumber party is getting better and better! Great to see you Jenn. And so sorry we didn’t alert you to your post! (We try to do that, but sometimes we drop the ball. Happy to see you here!)
Hi Jenn! Thanks so much for leaving your comment here and at my article on resilience! And it’s never too late bring more amazing women to the party – and, of course, we need music! Yes, indeed, Mary J Blige will have to be there – her song “Just Fine” is my personal anthem!
Hi Ladies!
I am honored to be mentioned in this thread! WOW, can I attend the dinner, too? Can we make it a weeklong event? So many women doing wonderful things in the world today! Thank you Lissa for all the inspiration you provide to us! Thought of you last night as we had an EVE meeting at The Red Tent in Delray Beach, FL. An amazing place full of feminine energy! One of our Circle Leaders is starting to teach classes there based on Mama Gena’s work, very empowering! We were fortunate that MG provided us with a curriculum also, and it was quite spicy!
Wishing everyone a powerful day!
Hi Angela!
I’m so glad you found this article – almost a month after it was first published! – *especially* since you were mentioned!
Did you follow that the someone who is using your EVE curriculum was someone whom I attended in birth almost 10 years ago? I think it has gotten to the point where we can’t even think of the connections formed here as just a community – we’re an extended family now!
And I am still hoping and planning that a special *family reunion* will happen in the fall of this year!!! Much love to you, s