Archive for February, 2010

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Breaking Through Expectactions: You Really Are Enough

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

"Free Yourself," artwork by Rita Lloyd (c) 2008

Dear Pinkies, please welcome back to the mainstage Brother Michael Mackintosh, here with more wisdom about how we can touch into our most authentic selves – and untying ourselves from all that doubt that we’re not enough, just as we are. Ahhh, don’t you feel freer already? Deep bows of gratitude, Brother Michael. Enjoy, Pinksters!

*****

Aloha, wonderful Pinkies …

Have you ever had the thought, “I am not good enough” or something similar?

Our natural state of wonder is submerged beneath countless layers of programming, so it’s not surprising how many people constantly feel that they are unworthy and not good enough in some area of their life. If there is one illness of our time, it is this: believing we are not ‘good enough’, ‘beautiful enough’ or ‘worthy enough’.

What is enough?

What is ‘enough’? Who wrote the rulebook? And where did these ideas of being worthy or unworthy come from? Did you decide what was enough on your own?

Not likely. Most of these notions of what is ‘enough’ come from the impossible standards of beauty and success that have been set by the media and our social conditioning since birth. If you don’t live up to them, you are apparently ‘not enough’ – no matter what.

Many of us often don’t realize the power of these influences. In fact, studies on this subject show that most people deny the effects of the media upon their choices – but act in alignment with their influence.

To not know we don’t know is very dangerous. To not know we don’t know – and think we d0 – is a guaranteed way to stay stuck for a long time and not live YOUR life the way YOU choose.

Unreasonable expectations and social pressures tend to create a sense of chronic low self-esteem and lack of self-love (even if it’s just a slight niggling feeling) that is so constant it is only noticed when the shift is made and that feeling dissolves, leaving a sense of profound inner peace and contentment that is unparalleled by any other experience.

When under the pressure of ‘I am not enough, I need to fit in’, we often cover up these painful feelings in various ways: buying products, being distracted by the insentient and constant entertainment industry, doing this, doing that, doing the other. We have so many millions of potential distractions to choose from these days. However, they never last – and the sense of un-ease and discontentment deep in the soul remains.

A new perspective

Here’s a thought: NO ONE CAN LIVE UP TO THESE IDEAS ANYWAY! And we don’t even need to try!

Let me say that again: NO ONE CAN LIVE UP TO THESE IDEAS ANYWAY! And we don’t even need to try!

You are totally wonderful and lovable just as you are. We are all good enough, worthy and lovable NOW!

Being your own guru

My mission is to provide guidance and love for anyone who wants to tap into their own higher self, their own real reason and purpose in life, and to have the Best Day Ever. Here in Hawaii, I used to live in the house of David Wolfe, live food public speaker, where the term ‘Have The Best Day Ever’ was something that echoed around the house on a regular basis.

However, how does your Best Day Ever look, sound and feel? What is your best life ever? What does ‘best ever’ even mean for you personally? From my years of experience teaching and serving others to live their highest destiny, my feeling is that each one of us has our own unique potential, specialties, gifts and creative expressions to share with the world.

No two beings are the same. As I write this now I just noticed a beautiful bright red bird sitting a few feet away on a tree. Life would not be beautiful if it were not for the variety that we experience around us.

There are many ways to get in touch with our higher self, our spiritual essence, our meaning, and dharmic, purposeful living. I do my best to share the most simple, powerful methods that I am aware of to empower others to live their highest potential because I know that ultimately – you know the answers to all questions.

In fact, if you can ask the question – you know the answer.

Many people are looking for gurus and teachers to tell them what to do. However, ultimately each of us is our own teacher, and guru. A guru means guide. I feel the responsibility of teachers is to lead by example and to point us back towards ourselves and give the encouragement and empowerment to others to say, ‘yes, I do have it in me to take my own life to the next level. I do have the power to grow and express my unique gifts.’

My aim for being here with you wonderful Pinkies is to inspire you to answer your own questions so your box of joy can be opened wide.

I look forward to sharing more with you soon. Love to all you beautiful, wonderful pinkies who are ALL perfect just as you are!

Much love from Hawaii,

Your brother Michael

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Posted in Finding Mojo, Owning Surrender, Owning You, Owning Your Intuition, Personal Empowerment | 1 Comment »

Releasing Regrets and Accepting the Past

Saturday, February 27th, 2010

Dearest Pinkies, please welcome back the one and only Stacey Curnow of Midwife for your Life.  She wrote the below post inspired by this discussion on the Pink Effect Posse Page – how do we use Magical Eyes on those who may have hurt us deeply? As always, Stacey’s wisdom comes at just the right time. Thank you as always, Stacey!

*****

Relationships Gone “Bad”

One of my clients is haunted by the memory of a former lover. She wonders how she allowed such a “bad” relationship to go on for so long. Of course she did the best she could with the awareness she had at the time. But now she has 20/20 hindsight.

We’ve all been in her shoes. We wish we could’ve been more conscious, more able to act on the signs that things were not going well, and avoided the “bad” thing that happened. But when we focus on the past, we ignore the clarity that is available to us right now, and the insight that can help guide us to an even better place.

That shift in focus from the past to the present to the future takes some effort. Blaming the other person is much easier, of course. And we can also pretend that we were duped or unconscious the whole time. But we are much more likely to find peace—as well as some benefit from the experience—if we withhold this kind of judgment.

A Different Perspective

So if you’re looking back on a bad experience or relationship and blaming yourself or someone else, try this instead. Rather than looking at the person with whom you had the conflict as the enemy, try to look at him as an old war buddy. You shared a tough time, but you got through it. You did your best under hazardous conditions, and now you can recount your “war stories” without any remorse that things should have been different. Just accept that they happened and simply move on.

Do you feel some resistance to letting this person — a partner, friend, family member, or even a past you — off so easily? Then perhaps consider that when you choose to forgive someone whose behavior hurt you, you do yourself a huge favor. Someone once said that holding on to resentment is like eating rat poison and hoping the rat will die. You could release the hurt, anger and sense of betrayal not because the person “deserves” it, but because you will feel better when you do. If forgiveness is out of reach right now, then just don’t think about it. Refuse to think or talk about what happened until you can look at the topic with some equanimity. The less you return to the painful memories, the sooner that time will come.

I’m not saying you should condone the behavior that hurt you. And I’m certainly not saying you should jump back in the foxhole with your old war buddy. I’m just saying that when you can accept what happened—which means, more than anything else, that you understand that what happened truly did happen in a past you can’t change—then you’ll start to move on. And where are you going? You are moving forward on the path in front of you, right here, right now. Just start moving. And forget about figuring out what happened in the past “so as not to repeat it.” You don’t even have to feel like you “learned a lesson” or you got a “gift” from a relationship, or even any new skills or tools. You just have to start paying attention right now.

New Patterns of Thought

But how can you be sure that history won’t repeat itself? Again, the answer is simple, and lays the past to rest by keeping you in the present. Just learn to notice when things are out of balance in your life. And how will you know? There’s a built in signal that will always let you know when things are out of balance. It’s called stress. You want to take your awareness of the stressful feeling and try to find the stressful thought that is creating it. From there try to identify a thought that feels better. It may take some practice, but you will get better at it.

And when you consistently engage in the practice of identifying your stressful, negative thoughts and find alternative, better-feeling thoughts research shows that you are creating new neural pathways that will lead to long lasting benefits, like decreased anxiety and depression, and increased satisfaction and happiness. Bottom line: you will change, and as a consequence your world will change for the better, too.

Not everyone gets to make a new world. But people who want to put their past behind them have a golden opportunity to do so. And that is a gift. You can thank your old war buddy for it the next time you see him.

What do you think, Pinkies? Have you been able to let go of old wounds inflicted by others? What do you still carry with you? How is it affecting you? What is stopping you from releasing it, or shifting your focus?

At war no more,
Stacey

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Posted in Guest Pinkies, Owning Joy After Loss, Owning Surrender, Owning Your Emotions, Owning change, Personal Empowerment | 28 Comments »

Eve Ensler Inspires us to Embrace Our Inner Girl

Friday, February 26th, 2010

Wow. Watch this Pinkies, a TED talk by my heroine, Eve Ensler, author of the Vagina Monologues.
Blows me away.

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Posted in Finding Mojo, Owning You | 4 Comments »

How to Serve Owning Pink

Friday, February 26th, 2010

Hiya Pinkies! We’ve been blessed to receive dozens of requests lately from Pinkies who wish to be of service. At first, I was speechless. Why would you want to help little ol’ me? But now I realize that really, you wish to serve Owning Pink, to give back to the community that has given so much to you. Some of you enjoy volunteering for various organizations committed to doing good in the world, and you’ve chosen Owning Pink as the do-good organization you wish to support (thank you thank you!!!). Once I got over the “Why me?” wonderment, I learned to graciously say “Yes.”  So I’m writing this to help those of you who wish to support us choose your own special way to help Owning Pink grow, reach others in need, continue its ministry, and thrive.

Help Us Build Traffic

The single best thing you can do for us is help us grow our numbers. The more Pinkies care about what we’re doing, the more we can grow and succeed in our mission. How can we recruit Pinkies? Do you know someone in need? Maybe you know someone in the midst of a divorce, who recently lost a loved one, who is struggling financially, who is having a health crisis, who just needs some extra TLC to help them get their mojo back?  Maybe you know someone who can really serve those in need- maybe someone who is really gifted at communicating, who has time to offer support to those who need help? Please invite them to be with us.

Invite Your Friends to:

  1. Join the Owning Pink community to tell your story, see and be seen by other loving Pinkies, and join discussions and groups about topics that will help you discover the beautiful soul within you and others
  2. Follow @lissarankin and @OwningPink on Twitter
  3. Follow Owning Pink on Facebook for daily prompts to help you grow
  4. Sign up for the Mojo Tips newsletter
  5. Visit Owning Pink. The more web traffic we get, the more we can grow.
  6. Forward links to your favorite posts to friends, post them on Twitter and Facebook and anywhere else you share good stuff with your friends.
  7. Put the Owning Pink Widgets – which can currently be found on the bottom left hand side the Pink Posse page – on your blog or web site.
  8. Post comments to help support others in the Owning Pink community.
  9. Sign up for workshops (stay tuned for more exciting workshops we’re in the midst of planning!)
  10. Click here to vote for our proposal at the BlogHer 2010 conference by February 28, 2010.

Help Us Get Connected

Do you know benefactors, companies, or nonprofits that might want to align with us? Do you know gifted healers, coaches, or writers who are oh-so-Pink? Do you know anyone who might want to be our sponsor? Are you aware of websites that might be a good fit with us? Send them our way! Contact Joy@OwningPink.com.

Donate and Volunteer with Owning Pink

  1. Volunteer for us. If you have skills you think might help us (such as graphic design, video skills, PR/publicity talent, SEO expertise, legal guidance, etc), we would love your help! If you would like to be of service, please contact Joy@OwningPink.com
  2. Donate goods. Maybe items Pinkies would value that we could give away? Things that might help us in workshops? If you have items you think Owning Pink might need, please contact us and let us know what you have to offer.
  3. Donate money (via PayPal to payments@owningpink.com) to help fund the cost of running Owning Pink
  4. Donate money (via PayPal to payments@owningpink.com) to benefit scholarships for Pinkies who wish to attend workshops and cannot afford to do so.

I see some of you shaking your heads, wishing you had more to give, but please don’t feel bad. You all do SO much. Simply help us hold the intention that we wish to be of service in the world and need to become self-sustaining in order to continue our healing outreach.  Please, Pinkies- don’t feel in any way pressured to help us other than just being here, holding the space, showing up every day to be among us. But if you’re one of those Pinkies who has been wanting to know how you might give back, we just wanted to let you know what we were thinking…

Do you want to a part of where Owning Pink is going? Do you want to write for us, coach Pinkies, teach Owning Pink workshops, be a Pink blogger? Do you want to volunteer or help us spread the Pink message? Comment here and demonstrate your commitment…

Feeling supported by you every day,

Lissa Rankin, MD

Founder of Owning Pink

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Posted in Owning Success | 5 Comments »

Owning Your Integrity and Facing North

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

It’s not always easy to maintain your integrity in business relationships. In fact, it can be downright hard.

Pretending

In my old medical practice, which was filled with people of integrity, I realized that my integrity was being compromised every day. All day long I was expected to lie- to make up reasons why an insurance company might cover a test I thought was necessary or to “protect” a patient from the whole truth.  With 40 patients a day to see in my office, I had to pretend I was giving my patients top-notch care, when I knew in my heart it was simply good-enough care. With 72-hour call shifts at the hospital draining the life force out of me, I had to pretend I really cared by the time I delivered the 18th baby of a weekend on a half hour of sleep, when the truth was that I cared more about who was going to take care of me.

Having your integrity threatened on a daily basis is enough to eat away at the core of who you are.  And I decided a few years back that I was done living that way. Never again. I was putting my foot down and living within my integrity from here on out.

So when I found myself in a business relationship that once again threatened my integrity, I struggled. Mostly, the struggle arose from my desire to continue in the business relationship because of certain fixations I had with what I loved about the working relationship. You know the fixations I’m talking about- attachments to people, to place, to security, to what you know. So I resisted ending the business relationship.

The Dream

Until I had a dream. A very vivid dream. In my dream, the person I was in a business relationship with (let’s call her Aria) asked me to go shopping. I said yes and followed her to the market. We crossed a very primitive border- maybe Mexico or some other developing country- where we waited in line amidst chickens and goats and colorful crafts. After crossing the border, we were walking on a dirt road, heading south to the market, when suddenly I looked left. To my left where rolling mountains, green and lush, and on the mountains stood hundreds of thousands of people, all dressed in traditional clothing from around the world- headdresses and robes and a brilliant array of world bazaar costumes. Every person was standing still, facing due north, and a golden radiant light glowed off their multi-colored faces. I stopped dead in my tracks on the dirt road, in total and complete awe.

Aria asked why I stopped. And I said, “LOOK!” and pointed to the scene.

But Aria couldn’t see it. She shrugged her shoulders and kept walking south, encouraging me to come along to the market.

The Choice

Then I realized, I had a choice. As long as I kept heading south to the market, Aria would keep walking the well-worn path she knew. But if I stopped, turned around and faced north, she would have a choice- face north with me or keep heading south to the market.

When I woke up, I knew I had to pull out of our business deal- and face north. And so I did. I’m not saying I’m beyond reproach in anything I do. I make mistakes. I compromise. Sometimes, I even sell out. But whenever I can, I remember that as long as I stand still, face north, and let the glowing light radiate on my face, I’m doing the best I can.  At the end of the day, your integrity is all you have.

You and Your Integrity

What about you, Pinkies? How often is your integrity threatened? How much of yourself have you sold out to stay comfortable? Do you follow the path of least resistance and keep heading south to the market or do you take a stand- stopping and facing north? Do you have the guts to take your life by the ovaries and stand up for what you believe in?

Ooohhh….what would that look like?

Facing north and feeling the glow,
Lissa

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Posted in Lissa's personal yada yada yada, Owning You, Owning Your Intuition, Owning change, Personal Empowerment | 5 Comments »

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