Pinkies, welcome back Lone Morch of Lolo's Boudoir, here with some insight on how we filter our own thoughts about our selves and others through a very specific lens ...

Fabulous Friends,

Lately I've noticed how people around me project their desires and stories onto me. She is the Boudoir Lady - she must be hot in bed. She is the artist with a vintage car, Euro attire and owns a business - she must be wealthy. She has no kids, no commitments - she would be the perfect travel companion. She dresses up in costumes and seems joy-filled - I want some of her sass and energy.

Noticing

Instead of freaking out and feeling I should live up to all of this, I am just noticing and listening. A friend of mine suggested to try on the projections, just for a bit, too see what it feels like - a fun way to bring light to human behavior. I am also considering making a T-shirt that says: open for projections?

That we make up assumptions, and see what we see through the filters of who we are and how we feel isn't new. When I met my ex-husband, we put each other up on these pedestals of perfection, each expecting the other to fulfill our dreams. Of course we didn't succeed, instead we fell hard from our pedestals, and on the 'deathbed' of our marriage, he accused me of having deceived him for not being who he assumed I was. The deceit was really that I tried to fit his image of me. A lesson learned the hard way.

I'm in the projection business

That doesn't mean I'm projection-free today. In fact, I am in the projection business. When I photograph, I create visual reflections of people. What goes into creating images? What is it I am seeing when I look at people through the camera? What filters do I look through?

I suppose my photographs speak for themselves. There's romance, sensuality, softness, mystery, subtle eroticism, soulful moments, humor and occasional edginess.

So this is me, projecting my own longings and vision onto other women?

When I am commissioned to photograph, I mitigate between how the client would like to see herself, and what I see, in the moment. True, I wish to show women their own unique spirit and beauty. And I want them to get comfortable in and with their body, free enough to express themselves, in all their individual ways. This is also my own continuous path.

My filter is one of beauty and freedom. I wish to keep it real, yet I am aware of stereotyping - what is beauty? I would like to push the boundaries for what beauty is. I would like to find beauty in what we don't necessarily classify as beauty - in the rawness and shadows of ourselves and life.

How can you become more aware of projections, towards you, from you, and the filters through which you see yourself and your world?

How might you push the boundaries on your own beauty standards?

Seeing Your Beauty,
Lolo