Owning Pink Bloggers
Unpursued Passions: YES YOU CAN!
Pinkies, please give a warm welcome, once again, to the wise and wonderful Stacey Curnow. Stacey is here to share her truth about the infinite possibilities of creating and following our dreams. If you are as inspired as we are after reading her story, you may want to check out the free teleseminar she's is offering tomorrow night to help others take steps toward their dreams.
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Nine years ago my husband and I knew we wanted to be parents, but we were in no hurry. For one thing, alongside my dreams of being a mother, I dreamed of being fluent in Spanish to better communicate with the Latina women I served as a midwife. What’s more, I realized that I had time for one great adventure before I welcomed my own baby into the world.
Options
I considered a few different possibilities. Previously that year, I had run the Boston Marathon in 3 hours and 23 minutes and figured I needed a bigger challenge. I had devoured Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer’s account of his trip to the top of Mount Everest, and for a while I was taken with the idea of climbing Everest myself, though I didn’t own a pair of crampons.
Then I started reading The Scottish Himalayan Expedition by the mountaineer W.H. Murray and was struck by something he wrote: “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.” I realized then that I could do anything I set my mind to, and it was not going to be climbing Everest—the thought of falling into an icy crevasse scared me too much. But the dream of living and working in a Spanish-speaking country suddenly seemed attainable.
Providence
And sure enough, as soon as I took my first step, providence moved. I applied to Doctors Without Borders and within a month was offered an interview in their New York office. As it happened, I was going to be in New York anyway to run in the New York City Marathon and could easily set up a time to talk with the organization’s director. They had no positions for midwives in Latin America, but I wasn’t interested in any other placement. So the director said she would keep my application, but she didn’t think there would ever be a desirable position for me.
I was discouraged by the director’s news, but I tried to stay positive, and started to look at other possibilities for achieving my dream. I was very surprised when, two months later, the phone rang and it was Doctors Without Borders telling me they were starting a new maternal health project in Mexico—and that out of all the applications they had on file, the director of the project wanted me to join the medical team.
It was time to Pleap ...
People thought I was crazy to leave my life in the States for a volunteer position in a remote Mexican village. I was leaving a great job at a time when there were few positions for midwives. My husband would stay and maintain our home, but at that time even he was looking for work that would take him away from Asheville. I would be living in a region of the world where there was no electricity, no running water and no one to call for help (or no one who could respond in a timely manner) if anything went wrong.
Doctors Without Borders made it clear that they had chosen this region because the Mexican government was allegedly persecuting indigenous people. (This threat of danger was a particular concern for my parents). I was leaving so much that was known and comfortable for something totally unknown and filled with risks. But I knew, like the Scottish mountaineer Murray, that I had created this opportunity by committing to my dream and I was not going to be dissuaded.
The adventure
So I went. In June of 2002 I quit my job to work for 6 months in southwest Mexico. I worked with an all-Mexican medical team setting up clinics in remote areas of a region referred to as La Montana, or The Mountain. We ran our clinic from 9am to 2pm, taking a break from 2 to 4, and continuing the clinic until 6pm.
We always gave preference to women and children, but we saw everyone who needed attention, and we were available for emergencies 24 hours a day. We saw women in a continuous string; they often brought five or six of their children at one time. As expected, we saw a lot of respiratory and intestinal infections but also many skin problems, mostly scabies and infected bug bites. As hard as it was to run the clinic, it was also enormously fulfilling: most of the people we met were relatively healthy and enjoyed their lives centered on family and work.
I could recount many more stories of my life from this time – there were so many big challenges and even bigger triumphs and many, many small quotidian pleasures. But they will have to make up another essay (or book). What I want to say now—about an experience I had almost 8 years ago—is that I took what seemed like an impossible dream, and in spite of great doubts (my own and others) I made my dream a reality.
Back in the States, I found the dream job I had been seeking when I started my journey, a part-time position in a public health practice serving a large number of Latina women. Today, my patients remind me of the women I served in Mexico, and I’m grateful that my language skills and knowledge of their culture allow me to care for them as they navigate a foreign country.
Unpursued passions
Right now I have other great big dreams, even what I call unpursued passions, and sometimes I can feel discouraged and frustrated by a sense that they are impossible to achieve. But I only have to remind myself of my Mexican adventure and know that I really can achieve anything I set my mind to – anyone can.
I found that my time in Mexico changed my life in many profound ways. Mexicans value family and community above all else, and I have come to adopt those same values. I fully realize that if I had never taken that first step—if I had never committed to my dreams of service and adventure—I might never have appreciated the way I do now the gifts I receive from my family and community. But perhaps the greatest change I can trace back to that time in Mexico is the confidence I now have that when I move, providence moves with me, and that taking that first small step toward a dream brings it much closer than I could ever have imagined.
It's more than the decision
The message I want to leave with you in this note is that after the all-important decision to take a step toward your dream, patience and perseverance are necessary too. I think we all know that it’s not easy to have patience and perseverance. They really are something we do -- hard-won skills, developed with much practice.
What unpursued passions do you harbor? What steps might you take - or have you taken - to get you closer to that dream? I'd love to hear about your own run-ins with providence and the adventures that ensued.
Still dreaming big,
Stacey
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Your experience
By Eric (not verified) on Tuesday, 06/22/2010 at 5:37 PMHello Stacy
I am glad to hear you were able to realize one of your dreams. I find myself now at the beginning of a long journey toward becoming an acupuncturist. I am currently a licensed massage therapist and I am starting nursing in the fall. I hope to become an RN in the next two years and carry over my skills from both professions. I agree that patience and perseverance are both something you must continually apply toward your endeavors. Thank you for sharing your wonderful experience, and I wish you much happiness in your future pursuits.
Eric
Hello all! I had to "leave"
By Stacey (not verified) on Thursday, 05/06/2010 at 3:54 AMHello all!
I had to "leave" the table last night before the party ended - and I'm thrilled that the fascinating and thought-provoking conversation continued!
Thank you so much Fred, Terrill, Kye and Sandra for sharing your thoughts related to MacKenzie's excellent question!
MacKenzie, if you've come back, do you feel like your questions were answered? If not, please let us know - perhaps if you could share more specific challenges from your situation we could be more helpful.
I really love the coaching model (and I have a coach myself!) because I believe anyone could benefit (remember, even elite athletes like Michael Jordan have coaches!)from having someone else outline clear action steps for achieving our goals.
It's like we've got all the pieces to the puzzle, but we don't have the box top that shows the picture of what it looks like when it all comes together. Sure, we could figure out how to match up the pieces without the box top, but it's more fun and effortless with it.
Again, MacKenzie, I'd love to hear if you - or anyone else! - have any further thoughts or questions about how to make your dreams come true! Much love, Stacey
I'd like to reply to
By Sandra (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 7:19 PMI'd like to reply to MacKenzie. I’d like to invite you to join me Thursday (May 6th) evening for a teleseminar with Stacey as she shares: “4 Simple Steps to Give Birth to a Life You Love!” I’m sure you’ll find the answers to the questions you posted above. I definitely recommend her, after all – she’s my Coach! :)
Stacey, love your story
By Kye (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 5:59 PMStacey, love your story here.
MacKenzie, I think Fred's on target, and also I'd add that passion is about what you have to give, more than what you want to get. And when you're totally clear that you want to give something in particular, interesting things start to happen! ...as they did for Stacey.
Kye Kye
Hi Fred, I really resonate
By Terrill Welch (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 5:49 PMHi Fred,
I really resonate with you that some changes allow us to "save more money" even though we are making less. I think this is a critical piece to changing our lives. When we are living our vision we are more easily fulfilled. We find it much easier to distinguish between our needs and our wants and we have time to do for ourselves.
Fred I might add to your three steps for Mackenzie... to hold your vision lightly and focus on your intention. This allows so much more freedom to choose.
A client had a vision of being a creative writer but she still needed to contribute to the household income. She focused on her intention to write, negotiated a four day work week and dedicated one full day a week to her writing. She is now working on her second book.
Another client thought she was going to need to quit her job in order to spend more time with her young children. She asked for my help to make it a smooth transition. After much exploration and always coming back to her intention - more time with her children - she negotiated the first flexible and reduce work week for an executive in her company. What was most important though was that, in the coaching process, she discovered she didn't want to leave her position. She found it fulfilling, rewarding and a measure of security in an unstable economy. If she had focused on quitting her job instead of her intention to spend more time with her children then she and her company would have both lost out.
When I want to make sure I understand my intention I ask the five whys. It goes something like this...I want to grow my own vegetables WHY? because it is important to me to have fresh produce WHY? the increased nutritional value is essential WHY? So that I can be healthy WHY? I want to enjoy a quality life WHY? Because my life is a gift and I feel responsible for living it as fully as possible. My intention in growing vegetables is to fulfill my commitment to living my life as fully as possible. How many ways can I fulfill that intention? I think you get the picture:)
Wonderful discussion and love the exchanges Stacey and all.
Dear MacKenzie, You ask a
By Fred (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 4:49 PMDear MacKenzie,
You ask a really good question. THere isn't a simple answer. I can only talk about my experience, but I think it can translate to others. So, here are my thoughts.
1) Start simply. You don't have to quit your "day job." Find a way to pursue your passion on a part-time basis first, for just a few hours a day or a week.
2) Set clear goals. Identify what you really want. Is it a lifestyle change? Try to identity whether this is a hobby (which is important) or a real career change opportunity.
3) Ask yourself, "what do I want?" This is a very difficult question to answer for many people. Visualize yourself in your new career. What does it look like for you? What is your typical day in your new career? If you could start your new life tomorrow, what is the first thing you would do?
There are many barriers to success. Many of them are real. But, many of them are self-imposed.
I know that I am not the font of all knowledge on thie topic. What advice would my fellow Pinkies provide?
Fred
How does this happen? How
By MacKenzie (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 4:25 PMHow does this happen? How does one just get up and leave a steady job in order to follow a passion? What about money? What about responsibility? A lot of what goes up on Owning Pink seems to be "follow your dreams" but how does one follow their dreams and still pay their bills each month??
Hi Fred! Thanks so much for
By Stacey (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 3:22 PMHi Fred!
Thanks so much for reading back through the comments and picking up that thread! (You are so awesome!)
Yes, I think one of the greatest epiphanies I ever had was when I read "Your Money or Your Life" by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin about 10 years ago - it was like a light turned on in a dark room! I learned (and the message stuck) that freedom (to do work I love and to have plenty of time for multiple interests) was more important to me than money and nice things.
I've found that, like Terrill, that I value connections with my connections with family and community (another lesson I learned in Mexico) above all else.
That's not to say that I don't *like* money - I do! And I would love to have lots more, but never at the expense of my freedom to enjoy the things I value most.
So, yes, like you said, making sure that your passions and goals are in alignment with your values puts everything into focus and really helps pave the road for a meaningful and satisfying journey!
Thanks again for coming back and continuing the conversation! Much love, s
Stacey, I love your comment
By Fred (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 3:06 PMStacey,
I love your comment about never having met a person who has followed their dreams ending up destitute. I have to say like most journeys, mine has been filled with peaks and valleys. But, I've discovered something really interesting. Although I am not making as much money as I did when I worked in the corporate world, I still have done quite well. And what is most interesting is that my wife and I together made choices about what is most important. The end result? We're actually SAVING more money now than when I had this big corporate job. And the other interesting thing is that we are able to take more free time. We now can take 1-2 months off each year, and I never was able to do that while I was pursuring a corporate career.
So, I think following your passion really helps to put many aspects of your life into focus.
Much love to you and to all the Pinkies here.
Fred
Hi Amy! Thanks SO much for
By Stacey (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 2:51 PMHi Amy!
Thanks SO much for your note! It's absolutely fabulous that you have identified some of the obstacles to achieving your dreams and have identified steps to alleviate them!
Your story reminds me of the Saint Francis of Assisi quote - "Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
And yes, I think, like you, patience is not something I *have,* but rather something I practice. And, like you, I'm developing proficiency. Thanks again, SO much, for your lovely note! Much love, s
Hi Terrill! Thank you so
By Stacey (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 2:38 PMHi Terrill!
Thank you so much for offering your insightful analysis that vision, patience and persistence were necessary for me to achieve my dream.
I need to remind myself of this often - on my "down days" I still forget this *magic formula* and feel frustrated and discouraged that I haven't made more progress on my other goals!
Thanks so much, too, for sharing more of your story. I love that the "universe had other ideas" for you and that you are enjoying a life of simple abundance!
Your story is a wonderful testament to the fact that we can "take our sticky fingers off the controls" and *trust* (as Lori said) that if we stay true to ourselves we will live a full and happy life.
Thanks again, SO much, for your comments! Much love, s
Hi Lori! Yes, you make such
By Stacey (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 2:11 PMHi Lori!
Yes, you make such a great point: you take the first step *not knowing* what the next step will be, but it *will* appear.
I heard a great analogy of this: you can drive anywhere, even in the darkest night, solely from the light cast by your headlights. That's only ever 200 feet ahead but follow it and you will get where you want to go.
You are the word girl and your words always inspire *me* to listen to my inner voice, trust it, and create from it!!! Thanks so much! Much love, s
Very inspiring! I have more
By Amy (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 12:18 PMVery inspiring! I have more than a few unpursued passions that seem to sit on the back burner. I find so many excuses and everything seems so overwhelming. The good thing is, I now have a VA and am thisclose to a personal assistent to take things off my plate and focus on some of those goals.
Patience is a virtue - one that i'm lacking a bit. But day by day I'll get there.
Cheers to you, adventure and a life full of possibilities!
Stacey I love your story and
By Terrill Welch (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 12:13 PMStacey I love your story and your gift of doing what may appear impossible - until the commitment is made and providence intervenes... vision, patience and persistence. These are the corner stones of passionate living.
As a writer, artist, photographer and women's leadership coach, I applaud your shining light. Today my passion is to live a life of simple abundance filled with love, family and community. It is a simple vision that became possible through unexpected and unexplainable circumstances.
"Why me?" I sometimes ask... maybe it is because I dared to commit... Maybe it is because all roads appeared to lead to what I am seeking. Maybe it is because I never stop seeking. There are far more questions than answers.
I almost gave up on one of my dreams, one of my passions this year. A situation arose where I was going to close my coaching business. In fact, I did close my coaching business but the universe had other ideas... people kept calling, asking, and requesting. Now I know the dream kept dreaming even when I couldn't. I am now coaching again on Tuesday afternoons. And in between, I write, I paint, I take photographs creatively sustaining my resilience.
Always an inspiration,
By Lori Koop (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 10:40 AMAlways an inspiration, Stacey. I think the key is to see the first step and take it. It's scary not to see the one after that. The truth is once you take it, you WILL know the next. It's a constant unveiling of moves . . . pure evidence that God is right there. He proves it every time. Since I'm the word girl, I'd say the word for this process is TRUST!
Much love and gratitude to you, Stacey, for stepping out by example and sharing your story. It gives our dreams possibility. What a gift! xo
Hi again, Kathy! I'm so glad
By Stacey (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 9:01 AMHi again, Kathy!
I'm so glad you left that addendum: It's so great, in fact, that you *are* doing both because I think so many people think they will get financial security and *then* pursue their dreams, but then time just passes and nothing is really different the next year or the next.
But you, my friend, have a BOOK published, you're attending events and selling it, and you are continuing to work on all aspects of your passion (the craft of writing and the marketing)!
This year looks so different from your last because you committed to your vision of being a writer and did the hard work! And *that's* why you are an inspiration to me! Much love, Stacey
Stacey - Not quite so fast
By Kathy Troidle Jackson (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 8:53 AMStacey - Not quite so fast for me....I'm still plugging away at big corporate. Children's book writing is more than a hobby now but not yet paying the bills. The dream is alive however and I am on my way!!
P.S. I also just want to add
By Stacey (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 8:29 AMP.S. I also just want to add how fiercely proud I am of Kathy! I too have a forthcoming children's book and the hardest thing I've ever done was keeping that dream alive when all evidence pointed to the conclusion that it would be impossible to get my story out into the world. Kathy recently had her first successful book event, and as you can see, she has many more ahead!!! If you follow the link from her name you can get your own copy of White Dog Haiku. (Mine is on its way to me now!)
Oh Fred and Kathy! Thank you
By Stacey (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 8:24 AMOh Fred and Kathy!
Thank you SO much for sharing your stories! *Your* stories inspire me so much because you really did take a much bigger leap than I did - leaving corporate lives for service and art!
As scary as it was to leave my good job in a private practice, I really never doubted that I would be able to find *some* job in nursing (even if it wasn't in midwifery) when I got back.
So you two have really helped me so much to share what I hope is the "take-home" message here: Really think about your goals. And then take the first step in the direction of them. Your dreams are closer than you think!
I've identified what I think is the biggest hurdle to taking that first step (and staying on the path): Releasing fear of failure.
You know, I've yet to meet the person who pursued their dream and ended up destitute. What about you, Pinkies? What do you think are some of the other challenges as you consider your dreams? And by all means, share more triumphs like Fred and Kathy!!! Much love, Stacey
wow, what a story! all of
By Kathy Troidle Jackson (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 6:44 AMwow, what a story! all of these experiences have led to exactly the place that you are right now, the place you are supposed to be. Very cool! I think I have always dreamed of being a writer. I wrote poetry and plays and stories since I could write but somewhere along the way I squashed that dream down to succeed in big corporate.
Well thanks to Christine Kane's Uplevel programs and amazing role models like you I have finally embarked on my writing career. Things are happening, I have joined Children's Writers groups, I have applied and am getting selected for book and art festivals and making amazing connections with other local authors. New mentors are pointing me in the right direction to get my self published book, "White Dog Haiku" and my writing farther out into the world. I have signed up for children's writing conferences and workshops this spring and summer and can't wait to hone my craft some more. Big dream, here I come!!
Stacey, Stacey, Stacey! The
By Fred (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 6:25 AMStacey, Stacey, Stacey!
The words and circumstances are different, but you've just told my story about how I took a huge leap, left a high-paying job with a global Fortune-50 company to become a massage therapist and coach. The first few steps of the "pleap" I took were scary for sure! But, I have never looked back and I'm now pursuring a life of great purpose and passion. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It's so important for people to realize that the life they dream about can really be attained. We're the sum of our life's experience, and sometimes we have to go a long way out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.
Fred
Hi Pinkies! And, yes, that's
By Stacey (not verified) on Wednesday, 05/05/2010 at 6:17 AMHi Pinkies!
And, yes, that's me on the washed out dirt road in Mexico with a heavy pack on my back and wild turkeys at my feet!
I really would love to hear when you last found yourself thinking "I'm so glad I took that risk!" or "I know I've got a great idea...I just don't know what to do next!"
I get so much inspiration and mojo from hearing what your dreams *and* challenges!!! Much love, s