Okay, so I went from cheering for Jessica Simspon and getting pissed at the media for bashing her pregnant self for, you know, PUTTING ON WEIGHT to still being pissed at the media and getting pissed at Jessica. Why? Because I'd be telling the paparazzi to fuck off as they snapped photos of me wolfing down a pack of Ding Dongs if I knew I was going to be collecting $4 million to drop the baby weight, too. Or maybe I'd just let my pregnant celebrity mom friends who've managed to bounce back after previous pregnancies come to my defense because that looks way more authentic.