
We live in a time when we are constantly bombarded with images, ideas and sound bytes that tell us who we should be, could be and ought to be, all pointing to one main message, "You are not enough!" Unless you live in a cave, you can’t escape their massive barrage, and let’s face it, even from a cave you could probably still get text messages.
It’s enough to make your head spin, and throw even the most self-assured person off center. Add in a few difficult life events - a breakup, a job loss, a pay cut - and you could end up with a Hiroshima to your self-confidence.
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A few months ago one of my mentors said to me, "Mike, it sounds like you're 'should-ing' all over yourself." I laughed when she said this, as I've heard this saying many times before (and have even given this same feedback to others). However, something about her saying this to me at that particular moment caught my attention and struck me deeply.
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“Stop BLAMING others. What if you took everyone else's 'issues' out of the equation and could ONLY speak for you? What if you took FULL responsibility for your life? What if it was ALL on you?”
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When I was a child, raised in a family with three Methodist ministers, dutifully attending church twice a week and saying my prayers before bedtime, I was taught that thoughts and feelings can be sinful.
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I'd like to ask when it became mandated by society that the most obvious of details will be ignored/and or denied by the masses until experts step in and slap us in the face? Because doctors are now reporting a new type of eating disorder in children attributed to aggressive anti-obesity campaigns.
According to this article, Australian doctors are now treating an onslaught of healthy children being driven to starvation. Victoria's three leading pediatric services are treating children at the upper end of the medically-accepted healthy weight range who have lost up to a third of their body weight so they can stay thin.
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I am currently writing the hardest chapter in my book Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof You Can Heal Yourself. Any time you write about self-healing, one painful issue comes up for any sick person. “If I can heal myself and I’m still sick, is it my fault?”
As a healer at heart, I think blame, guilt and shame have no place in the therapeutic relationship, but how should I address the fact that we have the power to heal ourselves without blaming sick people for their illnesses?
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This is the fourth time I’ve started this column over in an attempt to keep my objective voice out and leave the subjective to speak for itself. It’s not working very well.
I’ll start with the facts: A controversial ad campaign sponsored by the Strong4Life campaign and Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta is pointing the finger of fat shame directly at our children and getting plenty of tongues wagging. “Warning: It’s hard to be a little girl if you’re not” reads one message under the photo of a chubby girl. Her eyes, just like the eyes of the other children featured in the ads, are accusatory. More text included in the campaign reads "Being fat takes the fun out of being a kid" and "My fat may be funny to you, but it’s killing me.”
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You know that feeling of utter confidence, when you are so sure that you're ready to fly? Or what about when you feel so sure that you are done -- I mean spell it out D-O-N-E -- with a situation or relationship?
Well I know those feelings. Recently, I was convinced beyond anything that I was stick-a-fork-in-it-DONE with a certain relationship with someone in my family who we’ll call Angie. On many levels, I was done with Angie. But I want to share a very interesting thing that occurred when I went a little deeper -- into myself, into our relationship, and into that feeling.
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