As some of you may know, I went to the BlogHer conference last week (along with other members of the Owning Pink Posse) -- but what I haven’t told you yet is that while I was there I got the best goody bag ever. The conference is known for its “swag” – the gifts companies give to the women of the conference -- and this year companies outdid themselves by offering really incredible stuff, like Flip video cameras, iPads, and even (for one lucky person) a car. I had gone in knowing this. I also went public with my intention to resist all swag. I already have everything I need.

When it comes to relationships, intimacy, and communication, sometimes I am more invested in "being right" than I am in "being close". What is happening in these moments? How do I reconnect with my partner... and with myself? I am reminded of the Song of Solomon...

"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." 

I can’t help thinking about that classic children’s album, Free to Be You and Me, while I read all of the stories on the movement to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. We’ve taught our kids for years that “one of these things is different and special,” but we don’t actually seem to appreciate different and special. Are we, as a society, stuck in some pre-pubescent haze that only allows us to feel good about ourselves if all the other cool kids are like us? Or maybe, we’re worried that all the cool kids are gay, like Cary Grant and Rock Hudson, and we’re left out because we’re old skool heterosexual.