This post is in response to a discussion in the “Owning The Planet” forum on the Pink Posse. Forum leader and Pinkie Blogger, Monica Wilcox posed this question to me, “I've been thinking all day about earth as ‘she’ and am very curious what your perspective is Jennifer (as an astrologer). Is there a feminine energy connected to planet Earth, to Venus or are these man-made labels? If so, where is the male energy in the system to bring about balance?”

I’m forty years old but only one or two people have ever seen me angry. I’m the picture of cool rationality almost all the time. Friends remark on how calm I am. My mother tells me that as a child, she never had any idea of when I was mad. When I was in marriage counseling, the therapist would try to get me to express anger. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. But, this morning, I lost it over a pair of shoes. And, when I say “lost it”, I mean I was screaming, throwing things, crying, and came “this close” to walking out, in the pouring rain, in 50 degree weather, IN MY BARE FEET.

When my son was two years old, my husband left. I was a stay- at-home mom at the time and had to find a job – fast. So, while sending out résumés, I also signed up for the temporary agency at a local university. I was placed in a pre-college outreach program through the biology department. My degrees were in political science and world literatures, so I didn’t expect a permanent job match. I was 34 and hadn’t had biology since tenth grade!

Greetings, Pinkies! In honor of Mental Illness Awareness Week and today -- National Depression Screening Awareness Day -- we want to share some insight, bust some myths, and get real about how depression affects us and our loved ones. Jennifer's story about finding the right therapist will no doubt resonate with many of us who have searched, or thought about searching, for that special someone -- ok, the other special someone: the therapist with whom you feel most comfortable and heard. Enjoy -- and many thanks to Jennifer for digging deep and sharing your journey!

When I was in high school, I wanted to see a therapist; I was experiencing massive anxiety about school and relationships and it was affecting my sleep and my eating habits. There were periods when my hands would shake so much it was hard to hold a pencil or fork. But, I knew it was useless to ask my parents about it. They made their thoughts on therapy very clear. The idea of telling a stranger all your secrets went against everything they believed in. According to them, if people know things about you, no matter how mundane, they’ll use this knowledge against you. They’ll judge you. They’ll tell everyone else, and your life will be ruined. You’ll never get into college or get a job or a loan for a car. And, if other people were to know you were going to a therapist, they’d assume the worst, and there would be even more people ruining your life.