
Almost everyone, myself included, is going through transition right now. It’s the zeitgeist and perhaps no coincidence that we’re faced with endings, as we’re headed toward the end of 2012 (and of whole slew of ancient calendars).

I’m so excited (nervous) to share the release of my memoir Seeing Red: A Woman’s Quest for Truth, Power and the Sacred with you. Long time in the coming, publishing this intimate story marks the completion of one era of my life and the beginning of a new, in which my writerly self takes center stage.
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Sometimes I dream about men who want to kill me. Angry, obnoxious, patronizing men filled with resentment and hurt egos. The other night it was my dad chasing me with a pair of scissors, the week before, it was Arabs threatening me, because I didn’t hide my face and body.
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You know when someone – a lover, a friend, a co-worker or even a stranger – says something that somehow hits the nail on the head of an issue you’ve been avoiding. You nod politely, but inside, you’re agitated, perhaps a bit pissed, and wondering who the hell is s/he to say a thing like that. For a while you ignore that person as if she’s the personification of that truth you did not want to face.
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Feeling unfree freaks me out.
The night was dark, but with the conviction of a contortionist, I inched myself out of my tiny bedroom window, landed on the outside pavement, and ran off to meet friends for a midnight roam around town. Perhaps a morbid fascination drew us to the cemetery, where all was calm, but today, the symbolism is clear: I needed to break free from felt boundaries, rules, authority. I still do.
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At photo shoots, women sometimes tiptoe about waiting for me to guide them and micromanage their every move; their heads, hands, how to hold their shoulders and position their feet. Before long, they’ve become awkward and soulless.
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The other day, I got an email from a reporter from a national women’s magazine who wanted to get a few unsexy facts about sex. Who cares, I wanted to ask?
I don’t think I can bear another article that tells us that sex: increases your heart rate, decreases colesterol, builds muscles, burns calories, relaxes you, releases important chemicals and gives you a nice healthy blush. Is sex another healthy thing on your to do list?
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It is strange to think that we live in a world, where in one country women fight for their right to talk publicly about their vaginas and in another country women are still prohibited from showing their hair, and yet in another country, laws prohibit donning burkas all together and somewhere they still mutilate women, cutting away their pleasure organ. Strange, because, we are inter-connected like never before, through internet, media, trade relations, environmental crisis and warfare, and it's becoming harder and harder to keep ugly secrets. Information is more readily available and as a species, we are more enlightened and know so much, not only about our brains and biology but also about the state of our planet, the games we play in the world through gender, money, politics and power. Perhaps I have high hopes and expect too much of our human race, but the co-existence of both futuristic and ancient paradigms baffles me. Especially because, despite our super-evolved consciousness and sophisticated ways, we all seem to live in prisons. Some we choose, some we don't.
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