Making relationships magical is really about making yourself magical and sharing that magic with another magical human being.

What does ‘magical’ mean in a relationship?

It’s when all of the energy of your being, heart, mind and soul are in such sync that everything in your life works for YOUR happiness.  Every single part of the seen and unseen nature that surrounds you serves YOUR heart’s desire while you are staid in a state of total acceptance.

Wait! That sounds like the norm for a single person in life.

Yes, it is. The difference is the ‘relationship’ part where there is the ‘sharing’ factor and the moments of highness are multiplied – they grow and are multiplied again and again. Then throw in some of those starter love chemicals and you could write your own romance novel – if you had the words to describe it.

Each relationship has two snowflakes

Each person is unique in the same way that no two snowflakes are alike. These are broad comparisons and true enough, but have you really stopped and thought about either one?

• There is no way to count snowflakes, but every single one of them was formed under ever-changing ecological conditions. Each tiny crystal is individual due to the infinite combinations of environmental factors that are happening at the exact nano-second it is created.
• People have a census as a way to count them and currently there are about 6.9 billion people on the planet – of which roughly 64% are adults. Out of those 4.4 billion adults worldwide, approximately 301.6 million make their home in North America. Even if you factor out 50% as unavailable you’re still left with about 150 million people who are totally unique individuals capable of having a relationship – maybe with you. And…just like a snowflake, each person is inimitable due to the infinite combinations of genetic and sociological factors that created and re-create them every nano-second of their life from beginning to end.

Now can you imagine that out of those 150 million different minds and attitudes, you are going to meet many of them throughout the course of your life if you live in North America alone – depending on your social scene. It just follows that your relationship with each one of them would be unique, because the two souls involved are distinct in every facet of their ever-evolving personalities. And, it’s in that distinctiveness that no two souls can ever have the same connection with anyone else – even if they keep meeting over and over at different times in their lives. THIS is what makes EVERY relationship ultimately unique – and magical as well, if we choose to activate our magical vision.

When the magic wanes

In a partnership or marriage there often comes a point where the magical feelings that brought the couple together seem to have waned and leave a void – from which an interest for NEWNESS and new love emerges. Now it comes down to a decision to either end the current relationship, change it up to make it more exciting, pursue a new lover, or all of these.

However, even if this new love is pursued and the old relationship ends or changes down the road, it is still worth it to turn on our magical vision with our current lovelorn partner and make things as magical as possible.

Science may be able to explain the chemistry, but it is ultimately us that control that, too.

3 Steps to a Magical Relationship

The First Step is for us to take ALL of the responsibility to turn on OUR OWN magical vision no matter what our partner is doing.

• Even if we believe our partner is 100% asleep and may have no potential for the magic we are trying to create at this time, it is still our divine responsibility to turn on our magical vision full blast. We need to see beyond our own projections and whatever lackluster impressions we have of them to SEE the magic and eternal nature that we, and they, truly are.
• Here’s where we may need a REALITY CHECK: No matter what else, that partner is a SOUL. Yes, they are an eternal being of divine light and eternal grace. Even outside of their awareness of the truth, they exist beyond time and space and have no beginning or end. Their original nature is constant peace, bliss, love, compassion, power and purity – just like us.
• Regardless of how unaware of this they may be, as we watch them playing one of their many parts on this world stage, it is our responsibility to connect with that love in them no matter what.

The Second Step is to become TOTALLY truthful and clear.

As eternal beings, we are first and foremost attuned to truth and wonder. The main reason that our relationships have lost some of their magic is simply because WE have tried to ‘fit in’ to some ideal or mold outside of that attunement.

If we are to see changes in our lives, it is our responsibly to:

• Be in alignment with our own truth by foregoing double standards or being the proverbial ‘pot calling the kettle black’. For example, we can’t be calling our partner needy and wanting from us when we are also being needy and wanting from them.
• Be 100% clear in communicating what is important for us to be ourselves and where we will and will not compromise. Educate and clarify this truth in such a way that our partner understands what we are saying and out of what truth in us the words are coming.
• Acknowledge that our partner may not agree with us or may think we have gone off our rocker – we need to communicate and educate nonetheless. It is OK to agree to differ, but in the spirit of empathy and understanding of each others perspective – especially in the face of strong emotions.

Love’s Clarity Talk (LCT)

This talk is best done by both parties, but better one than none if need be.

To ensure we portray ‘the lover’ inside us clearly, we first need to clarify it for ourselves. A very good way to know that part of us on a conscious level, and with as much clarity as possible, is through representation by words, images and symbols. By answering these questions from the purest corners of our heart and recording them visually in some manner, we will enable ‘the lover’ to reveal clues about how to best express it.

Take a few moments to ponder these questions and wait for the answers to come at any time over the next while – there’s no rush. When your heart reveals clues, write notes on paper and/or find images to represent them and then keep them in a special place – but, never far from your thoughts.

1. What is the most important thing in my life?
2. What is my life path?
3. In my relationships:
   1. What behaviors or traits do I bring that enhance them?
      1. I respect personal space
      2. I am independent
      3. I like to hug for no reason
      4. I have a healthy sex drive
      5. I am open-minded
   2. What behaviors or traits do I bring that may cause static?
      1. I need to sleep with a fan on
      2. I like the bedroom door open/closed
      3. I have a habit of ______________ (nail biting, smoking, bad driving)
      4. I adhere to a very rigid diet
4. In my relationship what type of cooperation would I appreciate receiving from my partner that would complement me on my journey?
   1. Support in my dreams and goals
   2. Encouragement
   3. Respect my intelligence
5. What are things I am NOT prepared to tolerate from my partner in my relationship?
   1. Verbal, physical, emotional or mental abuse
   2. Being demanding of my attention
   3. Forced mutual friendships
   4. Flirting with anyone other than me
   5. Certain habits _______________ (nail biting, smoking, bad driving)

Now you know ‘the lover’ inside you very well and what it takes for you to sustain it. So, the next part is to compare your answers to your partner’s or what you know about your partner if they didn’t do Love’s Clarity Talk. This will reveal where you both stand at the point you are regrouping from and then you can see where the magic already is and where you might make adjustments for it.

The Third Step is to work out a WIN/WIN situation

Let’s face it. Each of us is wonderful and we have our own unique ‘lover’ part to play in this wonderful world. We all have our own trips down love’s pathways and it is ALWAYS a personal and sometimes secretive experience, because we are the only ones who can read our own signs.

Knowing how unique we truly are and being confident in the fact that we are eternal and beyond need allows us to RELAX and focus on our charm. If we don’t focus on our own sense of personal charm we become obsessed by someone else’s and start believing we NEED to charm them to get it from them.

What to do with your LCT results

1. Does your life path connect with your partner’s life path in the sense that you both have similar priorities, motivations and intentions?
2. If NOT, how can you both have your needs met?

Win/win situations are where you bring out the best in each other. It’s when the natural consequences of your connectivity are enrichment and empowerment for BOTH of you.

Worst case scenario

On the other hand, if both of you are in a state of NEEDINESS and totally relying on each other to grow or feel good, then it is a co-dependent situation. It’s the state of being where two emotional cripples stay attached, and use each other as a crutch in order to validate their poor self images. Spending too long in that state will bring about more demands on each other’s attentions at each disappointing step on that path to pain. If you’re in that type of situation, get therapy from a professional – even if you have to go it alone. Your life is precious…why would you put it in the hands of another emotional cripple?

Remember…you are the only one who can read your own signs – open your eyes wider if you’re not seeing them.

How to be Love Kings and Queens

In order to have this magical Win/Win situation, both people involved MUST FEEL full and empowered independently of the other. It’s like when you enjoy your own company and don’t NEED to have someone around you all the time – your together and apart times are fulfilling in different ways.  

It’s from this place of independent spirit we can connect and share blessings with each other out of the overflow of the goodness in our own life. Then, the joining together of skills, virtues and circumstances are by the nature of the couple together imbued with a NEW power – the power of love doubled.

Like kings and queens, we are self-serving beings. We are here to support and love each self we meet.