Making relationships magical is really about making yourself magical and sharing that magic with another magical human being.
It’s when all of the energy of your being, heart, mind and soul are in such sync that everything in your life works for YOUR happiness. Every single part of the seen and unseen nature that surrounds you serves YOUR heart’s desire while you are staid in a state of total acceptance.
Wait! That sounds like the norm for a single person in life.
Yes, it is. The difference is the ‘relationship’ part where there is the ‘sharing’ factor and the moments of highness are multiplied – they grow and are multiplied again and again. Then throw in some of those starter love chemicals and you could write your own romance novel – if you had the words to describe it.
Each person is unique in the same way that no two snowflakes are alike. These are broad comparisons and true enough, but have you really stopped and thought about either one?
Now can you imagine that out of those 150 million different minds and attitudes, you are going to meet many of them throughout the course of your life if you live in North America alone – depending on your social scene. It just follows that your relationship with each one of them would be unique, because the two souls involved are distinct in every facet of their ever-evolving personalities. And, it’s in that distinctiveness that no two souls can ever have the same connection with anyone else – even if they keep meeting over and over at different times in their lives. THIS is what makes EVERY relationship ultimately unique – and magical as well, if we choose to activate our magical vision.
In a partnership or marriage there often comes a point where the magical feelings that brought the couple together seem to have waned and leave a void – from which an interest for NEWNESS and new love emerges. Now it comes down to a decision to either end the current relationship, change it up to make it more exciting, pursue a new lover, or all of these.
However, even if this new love is pursued and the old relationship ends or changes down the road, it is still worth it to turn on our magical vision with our current lovelorn partner and make things as magical as possible.
Science may be able to explain the chemistry, but it is ultimately us that control that, too.
The First Step is for us to take ALL of the responsibility to turn on OUR OWN magical vision no matter what our partner is doing.
The Second Step is to become TOTALLY truthful and clear.
As eternal beings, we are first and foremost attuned to truth and wonder. The main reason that our relationships have lost some of their magic is simply because WE have tried to ‘fit in’ to some ideal or mold outside of that attunement.
If we are to see changes in our lives, it is our responsibly to:
This talk is best done by both parties, but better one than none if need be.
To ensure we portray ‘the lover’ inside us clearly, we first need to clarify it for ourselves. A very good way to know that part of us on a conscious level, and with as much clarity as possible, is through representation by words, images and symbols. By answering these questions from the purest corners of our heart and recording them visually in some manner, we will enable ‘the lover’ to reveal clues about how to best express it.
Take a few moments to ponder these questions and wait for the answers to come at any time over the next while – there’s no rush. When your heart reveals clues, write notes on paper and/or find images to represent them and then keep them in a special place – but, never far from your thoughts.
Now you know ‘the lover’ inside you very well and what it takes for you to sustain it. So, the next part is to compare your answers to your partner’s or what you know about your partner if they didn’t do Love’s Clarity Talk. This will reveal where you both stand at the point you are regrouping from and then you can see where the magic already is and where you might make adjustments for it.
The Third Step is to work out a WIN/WIN situation
Let’s face it. Each of us is wonderful and we have our own unique ‘lover’ part to play in this wonderful world. We all have our own trips down love’s pathways and it is ALWAYS a personal and sometimes secretive experience, because we are the only ones who can read our own signs.
Knowing how unique we truly are and being confident in the fact that we are eternal and beyond need allows us to RELAX and focus on our charm. If we don’t focus on our own sense of personal charm we become obsessed by someone else’s and start believing we NEED to charm them to get it from them.
Win/win situations are where you bring out the best in each other. It’s when the natural consequences of your connectivity are enrichment and empowerment for BOTH of you.
On the other hand, if both of you are in a state of NEEDINESS and totally relying on each other to grow or feel good, then it is a co-dependent situation. It’s the state of being where two emotional cripples stay attached, and use each other as a crutch in order to validate their poor self images. Spending too long in that state will bring about more demands on each other’s attentions at each disappointing step on that path to pain. If you’re in that type of situation, get therapy from a professional – even if you have to go it alone. Your life is precious…why would you put it in the hands of another emotional cripple?
Remember…you are the only one who can read your own signs – open your eyes wider if you’re not seeing them.
In order to have this magical Win/Win situation, both people involved MUST FEEL full and empowered independently of the other. It’s like when you enjoy your own company and don’t NEED to have someone around you all the time – your together and apart times are fulfilling in different ways.
It’s from this place of independent spirit we can connect and share blessings with each other out of the overflow of the goodness in our own life. Then, the joining together of skills, virtues and circumstances are by the nature of the couple together imbued with a NEW power – the power of love doubled.
Like kings and queens, we are self-serving beings. We are here to support and love each self we meet.
When you comment on an Owning Pink blog post, we invite you to be authentic and loving, to say what you feel, to hold sacred space so others feel heard, and to refrain from using hurtful or offensive language. Differing opinions are welcomed, but if you cannot express yourself in a respectful, caring manner, your comments will be deleted by the Owning Pink staff.