I never thought I'd write a blog about sex, but I'm noticing an interesting trend happening in the lives of many women right now. Between the movie Magic Mike and the book Fifty Shades of Grey, it seems as though women are becoming more open about their interest in sex. I think this is a good thing. Why? Because, as Dr. Lissa Rankin often says, having a rockin' sex life is an important part of our overall health - both mental and physical.
I've always been a huge proponent of women being open about their sexual needs and desires - and I've gotten into many conversations about sex (with both men and women) that would make almost anyone blush. I'm also a sex researcher and I've spent many years studying what makes couples tick.
So I figure that, after two years of blogging and eight years of researching, it's about time I wrote about this taboo topic.
First, I'm happy to see these types of movies and books becoming popular - even if they are relatively cheesy. I think many women still feel awkward about sex. The word "vagina" makes many of us cringe, and for some women, the mere idea of having sex with the lights on is terrifying. Some women are so ashamed of their bodies, needs, and desires (or lack thereof) that they turn sex into another task to check off their "to do" list. During the grand act, many women lay still, stay quiet, and hope it'll all be over with in time to watch Dancing With The Stars.
In fact, studies show that approximately 75% of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone (without the help of hands, toys, mouth, etc.), and 10-15% of women never reach orgasm under any circumstances. I want to make something very clear - I don't think this is the woman's fault or her partner's fault. It's no one's fault. But there are things both partners can do (whether you're in a heterosexual or homosexual relationship) to optimize your health by spicing up your sex life.
In the end, I'm not sure why Magic Mike and Fifty Shades of Grey became so popular. Maybe women are "coming out" about feeling sexually repressed in their relationships. Or perhaps women are becoming more comfortable opening up about their sexual needs. Either way, I'm glad to see more women speaking openly with each other about sex.
One of my friends said she heard the word "penis" seven times while waiting in line for Magic Mike. Now those are the types of conversations I like to see women having.
Bethany Butzer, Ph.D. is an author, speaker, researcher and yoga teacher who helps people create a life they love. Check out her book, The Antidepressant Antidote, follow her on Facebook and Twitter and join her whole-self health revolution here.
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