Have you ever felt like you apologized more than your man? Or any man, for that matter?
Well, if so, doctoral researcher Karina Schumann of the University of Waterloo just proved you right. She recently completed some pretty interesting research aimed at understanding the gender differences between perceived wrongdoing and rates of apology.
Overall, women DO apologize more than men. But, interestingly, they DON’T apologize at a greater rate. Both men and women apologize about 81% of the times they “think” they are wrong. It’s just that women “think” they are wrong or have been wronged, far more frequently than men do.
This finding passes the “sniff test” if you think back to the last time you were ticked off with a guy you were close to and he didn’t have the First Clue about why you were angry. You saw wrongdoing, and he saw – well he didn’t see a darned thing.
Yep. Research now confirms it -- men are better at “shrugging off” things than women.
Okay, now you have a clue about why some of your relationships may have been tricky. BUT, within the parameters of business, this gender difference with respect to apology has REALLY interesting implications.
Because women perceive they do wrong more often than men, and because women are socialized to build and maintain harmony in relationships, it is easy to take on the habit of over-apologizing in your relationships. But here’s the thing, Sweet Cheeks -- we do this at the detriment of our business.
When you are overly apologetic in the marketplace, you injure your business in three key ways:
Now, let’s be clear, I am NOT saying that you should no longer apologize in business settings. What I AM saying, though, is that it may be time to put your Big Girl Business Panties on and own your space in the marketplace.
In fact, successful women, the ones who OWN their MOJO and Core Business Competencies, never apologize for these 7 things:
The next time you find yourself apologizing for something, try pausing first. Take a Spot Check Inventory and ask yourself this -- Are you apologizing for some true wrong that you have done? If so, go ahead.
Or are you apologizing for your own existence?
If you’re honest, you’ll quickly see which witch is which.
P.S. If you catch yourself apologizing too often for the wrong things, you may need to take a step back and work on your skillset around boundaries. Superstars in this area, are our own Lissa Rankin, Danielle LaPorte, and Tara Gentile. You could also come to Life After Tampons and get your copy of our free eRetreat, Reclaim the Sass. (Look for floral headdress lady at top of home page.)
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