Okay -you've written some very pretty, sentimental, sunshiney advice to follow your dreams. Care to do a follow up post about 1. Properly preparing for those dreams using common sense (i.e. get the appropriate boat and try to avoid storms rather than sail in the stormiest season)? And how about getting insurance or putting aside a fund to bear the costs of rescue, if they are needed?

You also don't discuss bearing the consequences if those dreams turn into nightmares. A man's life was endangered while he tried to rescue Abby.

Abby's mother has stated that she doesn't think Abby should try this expedition again. That speaks volumes.

Many of the criticisms launched at Abby have nothing to do with her age and everything to do with the (lack of) judgement shown in her venture. If age has nothing to do with it, then she must bear those criticisms as well as any applause. Anything else is hypocritical in the extreme.

hey Stacey
What a provocative article, thank you so much for sharing it. I also appreciate the way you have responded to every comment with such graciousness - every comment honoured. An inspiration!

Jessica Watson is the Australian 17 year old who has just completed her 7 month solo sail around the world, and Abby is openly stating she wishes to break Jessica's record. When Jess was barely 3 weeks into her challenge, her vessel hit an oil tanker just outside the Sydney heads. Oooh, the media had a field day with that! All the things that are being said about Abby and her family was said about Jessica. She regrouped, got going again, and succeeded in her challenge.

The entire challenge opened Jessica and her family to inspection, criticism and ridicule. Just as Abby's family are experiencing now.

As an Australian, do I want my tax money to go into paying for Abby's rescue? Not really. But two things - firstly, the alternative is far worse, and I don't get any choice ( don't like my tax dollars going in to pay the $600,000 fine that Queensland Rail are having to pay for breaking the law either).

What I especially appreciated about this article, Stacey, was the metaphor that Abby's journey provides for us. It's not really about Abby (although the spectacle that her journey creates is very tempting to get caught up in). It's about us - that's what you're really saying, isn't it? What risks are we taking? What storms are we weathering? Who's "paying for" our rehabilitation?

Bravo, Stacey.

One thing I find really interesting about the people who think Abby and her parents are irresponsible: they seem to look over the fact that given her situation, Abby acted in an extremely responsible manner. She asked for help when she needed it, and luckily it came. Yes, she may have died -- but she didn't. She may also have died crossing the street on her way to school. Random things happen. A less experienced sailor probably would have died -- a less experienced sailor may not have realized they had reached their limit.

She knew when to ask for help. So many people don't. I am appalled at those who are appalled! Whether she was 16, or 30, or 75... naysayers will always find a reason to judge other people's decisions.

I found an article with a mixture of positive and negative comments about Abby’s trip. Some applaud. Some admonish. http://blogs.laweekly.com/informer/spot-news/abby-sunderland-rescue-cost/

What I found most interesting were the responses from sailors who assert Abby was not fully prepared for the trip from an equipment standpoint. I’m no sailor but I’ve read her vessel was not constructed to withstand the violent storms in the Indian Ocean. I also read she sailed at the windiest time of year and rushed the voyage to beat a girl named Jessica for some sailing record.

Truth is relative. We all have to use our God given common sense to sort through “facts” but based on what I’ve read (and using a firm gut check) this trip sounds more like an ego trip prompted by fame seeking irresponsible parents. But sure, I could be wrong.

Regardless of location or circumstance, we are all gonna die. We don't grow without taking chances or taking risks (as Lissa knows well) but when the life of a child is in the balance, why take this kind of life threatening risk? I don’t get it. I just DO NOT get it.

We don’t let kids run with scissors, drive with their eyes closed or swallow nails – all crazy risky stuff. All endanger life and if any parent allowed a child to try a stunt like that they’d be arrested.

Why should society at large have to pay for her (or anyone else) to play a game of risk? (sure, we already do, but is it fair?)

There’s an old saying in my family too – it goes like this: You play with the bull, you get the horns.

Consequences. Life has consequences.

Life has simple rules:

You eat too much and don’t exercise, you get fat.
You eat too little and exercise too much, you get skinny.
You spend more than you earn, you go broke.
You get the idea.
Every action has a consequence.

In response to: “If we as a society adopt this belief then we are saying that only the rich can have dreams and adventures.” This isn’t a rich versus poor issue. Let me get this straight – the Sunderland family says they are too poor to reimburse for the rescue effort (or make an offer to pay a charity as thanks) and yet her father was able to buy her a YACHT for her Sweet 16 in the first place? Huh? Come on now. (I got a cake for my 16th) I’m no mathematician but I know yacht’s aren’t cheap and compared to Abby, I’m dirt poor.

Where’s my yacht? My trip to Fiji & my trip to the Moon? Why I should be denied some big adventure because I can’t pay for it? I know. Because I can't pay for it.

We have unlimited imagination, unlimited potential but not unlimited resources.

If I decide to go bungee jumping and fail to take precaution to ensure my safety and fall and crack my head open, should society pay for me? Should I burden someone else, take food off their table or jump ahead of someone’s dying mother in the ER to save my stupid jackass? No. That doesn’t seem fair. If I play, I gotta pay.

If I make the mess, I should clean up.
If I break it, I should replace it.
That's just how I was raised. I'm practical (probably to a fault).

I certainly hope Abby and her parents take this opportunity to send a responsible message to the young people of the world. Dream big, YES! – knock yourself out, but by all means please be prepared to clean up your mess, pay your debts, make restitution when you’ve made an error, save for a rainy day and say thank you.

Abby has serious cajones. I do commend that. I hope she sails next time with gusto and accomplishes her dream safely. We need dreamers and risk takers, we also need to weigh risk with practicality and resources. Just my two cents.

I will attempt to comment to a fellow Pinkie, Christa (and to all Pinkies) from my heart – as this young woman, Abby, is very near and dear to my heart.
My grandfather often said, "My girl you can't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see." The media has blown me away in proving my grandfather's sage advice. Many who are only hearing of Abby for the first time through this rescue and who, due to a lack of understanding and knowledge, accept what the media is saying without question or without discerning that they could be wrong.

The Risk

We never know what each day holds; getting in an auto/train/bus/plane every day gives us no guarantee we'll live to get out of it, or reach our destination. Sailing is far less dangerous than handing over keys to a young driver on our cities freeways.

The Bond

I can speak to the concerns of a young woman going out to sea because the call of the sea bonds Abby and me. I went to work offshore at the young age of 17. I was one of three women in the entire Gulf of Mexico. I worked my way up from deckhand to 'working second captain' in a relatively short amount of time - age 19. With utmost respect for you Christa, I caution you to please reconsider your thoughts on “if you’re prepared to play, you should pay”. If we as a society adopt this belief then we are saying that only the rich can have dreams and adventures.

The Truth

The truth is a representative from child protective services interviewed Abby before her Jan. 23 departure from Marina del Rey. The interview was to make sure the high school junior was not being coerced into making this voyage.
As for child endangerment, the same charges could be leveled at any parent placing their child on a motocross track, or a bucking bronco, or on a football team, or mountain climbing, or wrestling, or encouraging careers along those lines. Those are high-risk sports guaranteed to produce serious injuries and occasional deaths.

Rescue Cost

Qantas and the Australian Search & Rescue have refused to comment or release the figures on how much the rescue cost. These numbers being printed/quoted by the media is complete “Blue Sky Projections” – their best inflated Guess. The Australian government has never asked Abby’s parents to contribute anything towards the recovery costs and has no intention of doing so. Australia – like the USA and other countries with significant coastlines, are part of the international agreement to assist those who need help within their search and rescue territories. All of these nations do this for citizens of all countries and this is funded by the respective governments. We value and appreciate the Australian government and volunteer organizations – as we do the French authorities - who assisted Abby.

Bottom Line – The Adventure of being Alive

The bottom line is none of us are going to get out of this thing called Life – alive. Life is an adventure and it was meant to be lived. Abby and her family “live” life and fully prepare for what could possibly go wrong, whether on land or at sea, while at the same time living their dreams. I have tremendous respect for Abby and her parents. Today, as a mother of two very courageous souls; a 13 year old daughter and a 24 year old son who has summit 7 mountain peaks, sailed voyages, kayaks the oceans/rivers/lakes and streams while exploring their world. I simply see it this way -- How can we honestly teach them in school about Lewis & Clark (and all the many explorers) and not expect them to want to explore their own dreams and adventures? A fellow captain has this framed in his wheelhouse, “What loss is death if someone never truly lives?”

Again, Stacey and Lissa, thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts for Abby. And, I appreciate you for supporting Abby's Dream.

In joy!
Sandra Tollefson

Stacey, I enjoyed your article about Abby. A friend said 'I hope my children never want to do that!' about Abby's trip and 'That scares me to death to think about my child wanting to do that'. I just couldn't identify with that feeling. When I first heard of Abby, I thought "WOW! What an amazing family!!"

Thanks for spreading the joy.

Pat

I once met a man with a young son at a craft fair. The boy was about three years old, and they beautifully broke with the "don't touch" rule. The little guy was allowed to touch things--with one finger. It was a nice balance. He got to explore the world the way kids do, though touch, but in a way that was comfortable for everybody.

I'm betting he'll grow up with a good head on his shoulders.

I think it's a mistake to automatically associate age with maturity, or an adventurous spirit. When we do that, we limit our potential. I know people in their fifties who behave like petulant teenagers, and little kids with the sagacity of a Zen master. We need to honour gifts where we find them, and live our lives fully. Playing it by the numbers isn't the way to do it.

I support the "follow your dreams message" but I am absolutely appalled by Abby's parent's decision to allow her to make this dangerous journey alone at 16, a trip which was an unnecessary risk. I think it was an utterly reckless fame hungry move on their part. Abby could have died.

The U.S. Sailing Association refused to sponsor Sunderland's trip considering it too dangerous. Abby did not even have insurance for her trip! Who pays for the rescue now? Ask the Aussies 'cause her parent's don't have the money. Not fair. Seems if you're prepared to play, you should pay.

Do we want to send the message to teens and 'tweens that it is ok to take risks without taking precautions or responsibility (especially when risk turns to a rescue and others are left footing the bill for her joy ride)?

Next time she heads out she should have daredevil insurance.

Hello dear Lissa!

Thank you so much for your note! I'm so glad to hear from another mama that the message of "follow your dreams, you *can* do anything" is one that you share with your daughter, too. Our children are both quite young, so it will be SO interesting to see how they challenge *and* inspire us in the future.

I'd love for other parents to chime in with how they have responded when their older children have expressed a bold dream!

Of course, I find it inspiring when *anyone* declares their dream and takes action - so, please, share!

Thanks again, Lissa, for you note and for always sharing your bold dreams and supporting others in the attainment of theirs! Much love to you! s