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Am I Blocking My Prosperity?

Leslee Horner's picture
 
Pleasing My Everybody

A long time ago I read Martha Beck’s book, Finding Your Own North Star, and it got me thinking about my everybodyEverybody is the group of people that you most want to be accepted by.  You often use everybody’s criteria to analyze and criticize the decisions you make.  For me, I realized my everybody is my family.  I’ve wanted them to be proud of me my entire life.

This past weekend I visited with my family and noticed just how much I still strive for their acceptance and validation.  When I was with my big sister I talked up my mothering skills and shared stories about my sweet, innocent daughters.  I wanted her to see that in so many ways she and I share the same values.  When I was with my Dad I talked about the importance of hard work and spending money wisely.  This is the subject I felt would please him. 

Uncovering Old Beliefs

This summer, I’ve been putting my energy into uncovering old belief patterns that are blocking my prosperity.  Don’t get me wrong, I am prosperous in many ways and I have more than enough.  In fact, I think my deepest held belief is that I will always have enough.  But to truly prosper, I must admit there is more that I want. 

To reach prosperity perfection, I have two more desires.  One is that my career goals and dreams come true and the other is that I reach a state of excellent health.  In all honesty, I am tremendously close to achieving both of these.  I am so close I can taste it, yet something deep inside of me is keeping it just out of arms reach. 

Holding Tightly to Flawed Beliefs

Little by little, old beliefs are presenting themselves to me.  I’m realizing that I adopted a lot of beliefs that would help me fit in with my everybody.  I learned that my father doesn’t have a lot of respect for those who spend money extravagantly and that my mom doesn’t think she’s quite good enough to rub elbows with the rich.  Therefore if I become rich and spend my money extravagantly my father will not respect me and my mother will no longer feel connected to me.  I determined along the way that it is good to work hard and have enough, but bad to be rich.

I’ve held onto this belief tightly.  Even as a little girl, my wish was to be middle class and financially secure but NOT rich.  I chose my college major (education) around that belief.  As a teacher I’d be educated and employed with no possibility of ever being wealthy. 

The Universe is Abundant

But in the last few years I’ve learned a few secrets.  I’ve learned that this is an abundant universe and there is a limitless supply if you just open up and accept it.  I’ve reconnected with what I believe to be my purpose - to inspire people with words and stories.  I believe that if I follow my purpose and let Spirit work through me I will have an abundant life. 

Part of that abundance is being financially rewarded for work that I love, work that isn’t a struggle but rather a joy.  And with that financial abundance I can continue to serve my purpose of being an inspiration. 

My Health and My Everybody

My second desire is that of perfect health.  I have excess weight that I’ve wanted to lose for several years now.  It seems that every time I set out to achieve this goal I take two steps forward and three steps back.  I feel certain I am holding onto this extra weight for a reason, which brings me to my everybody.  You see no one in my family is thin.  To belong to our clan, you must come carrying the kind of baggage that is permanently affixed to your waist.  I think there is a part of me that believes if I truly lose the weight and keep it off, I’ll no longer fit in.  There will be a sign posted on the door of my childhood home reading “No Skinny People Allowed” and the only way to get past it is to keep this twenty pounds right where it is. 

But that is not what I want.  I want to be healthy and at peace with my body.  I need to love who I am as an individual and not cling to the parts of me that allow me to fit in.  It doesn’t serve me to waste my potential out of fear that I may be rejected. 

Accepting Abundance

So right here, right now, I’m setting the intention to discover and release all of the beliefs that are keeping me locked in place.  I see a thin, healthy author happily promoting her young adult book series (that will inspire teens and adults across the globe)!  I am ready to forge ahead and lovingly accept all the abundance the universe has to offer me!  And in return I will offer my love and abundance to the universe, starting first with myself!

What about you?  Have you identified your everybody?  If so, are you holding back and keeping an abundant life at bay in order to fit in with them?

Note from the editor: If you love Martha Beck like we do, you don't want to miss a free tele-jam Lissa is holding with Martha Beck and Amy Ahlers called Find Your Calling next Wednesday 10/10. See the deets here.

Love and Light,

Leslee

Learn more about the series, THE PAST LIVES OF LOLA RAY, at www.lesleehorner.com

Comments

Emma's picture

Who is my 'everybody'?

Thank you for this.

I wonder if it's possible to have lots of different 'everybodies'. Yes, there's definitely a family one, which is further complicated if you have a fairly fragmented family (which I do). Then there are various different friends, people we come into contact with regularly, the people I teach, the community of artists I belong to... I also think all our old selves can stand in judgement of us - I dread to think what my teenage self would make of me now!

I'm trying to decide what's limiting me, what makes me return to just making do. Just about keeping nostrils above water. And I think it's something to do with shame about shining. Embarrassment about possibly having an easier time than anyone else.

What am I going to do about this? If I type fast, maybe I'll be able to answer myself! Well, you have to remember that, if you shine, it lights up other people. (And vice versa, of course.) That seeing someone shining makes people happier. That I'm allowed to shine - and so is everyone else. That it's my job to do my work, including the work of just being me, without judging as I go along (that comes later, in the editorial stage!). That denying one's own abilities is the worst kind of arrogance. That, by denying myself, I'm setting the worst kind of example to my students.

And I have to keep reminding myself that this world really does have enough for each and every one of us.

Monica Wilcox's picture

What If?

I'm always curious if freeing ourselves from our own restrictive beliefs is a greater gift than the physical goal those beliefs are keeping us from. Maybe accepting abundance is a bigger gift than that new job or book deal or finding a partner. It would be interesting in 10 years to look back and see what served you more, your new intentions or the goal you are trying to reach?

Great post girl!

Monica

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