When I first met my now husband Noah, who I affectionately refer to as “Walking Love” for his great ability to give love fully and freely, my love quotient - my capacity for receiving love - was the size of a pea. Which meant that although I had finally manifested a man into my life that could offer the love that I had yearned for in other relationships, I was unable to let all the love in. At times, he and his love were so much to take in, that my stunted capacity to receive love would become completely overloaded.
In these moments, even though my heart knew I had hit the jackpot of love, I did what any scared-to-death-of-real-vulnerability girl would do in this situation of love overload… find reasons NOT to like this man! Too bald, too many holes in his socks, not ambitious enough (by my over-achiever standards), whatever excuses my self-sabotaging subconscious could find to eject this love out of my life, and it found plenty to obsess about.
While I couldn’t see it at the time, I was pushing out and blocking the very love my heart and soul craved. Why? Because I was scared to death.
He was becoming dangerously close to penetrating the deep layers of protection I had spent years building up around my heart to keep away any chance of being hurt.
We all build walls of protection because we’ve all been hurt. Our beautiful, loving, open hearts have, at one time or another been tromped on, broken or betrayed and so our normal, and probably necessary action at the time, was to build walls, force fields, layers of protection around our hearts… resulting in the miniature, shrunken love quotients most of us walk around with.
But there comes a time in each of our lives, when, if we truly want to experience love to the capacity we all yearn for deep inside, that we have to be willing to melt away the force fields, take down the walls, and slowly step forward to reveal ourselves, our hearts, vulnerabilities, and innocence to others…
You too have the ability to increase your capacity to receive love, to expand your love quotient, and like building any muscle, I recommend starting with smaller practices and risks and building up over time, so that when the big kahuna of love walks in, you are ready to receive!
“What is keeping my heart protected?”
“What have been the incidents in my life that have caused me to protect my heart?”
“What is my heart afraid of?”
I’ve worked with clients who have rescued their hearts from refrigerators in the forest, uncovered them through layers of death shrouds, unlocked layers of steel walls - all kinds of wild adventures. Once you find what’s keeping your heart protected, thank the protection for its service and imagine taking your heart back by putting it in a safe place inside of you.
About Christine Arylo
Popular author of Choosing ME before WE, Every Woman’s Guide to Life and Love Christine has been called the Queen of Self Love. Her insights, fresh perspectives and daring take on love, in all its forms, have been featured on TV and radio stations across the country, in the top spas and retreat centers in the world, and in colleges and corporations throughout America. She is the founder of Madly in Love with ME, an international movement of self-love, which includes a free self-love kit downloadable at www.ChooseSelfLove.com. She is also the co-founder of Inner Mean Girl Reform School, a virtual school where women go to transform their self-sabotaging voices into self-empowering ones.
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