I have always been a believer that the first step to helping young girls love their bodies is to help their mothers love their bodies. Where else would we learn how to be so destructive and negative towards our bodies. As much as we want to attribute it to the media, it starts with the imprint our mothers gave us in regards to how they talked to and treated their bodies.

It is so refreshing to know that you are learning to love your own body through your desire to be an example for your daughters.

I've spoken to young girls, as young as 3rd grade who already know so much about what is considered an "acceptable
" body shape and a "pretty" body shape it is so disheartening.

I just know that when it starts with MOM, the media and others at school might play an influential role, but it's not the same. When our mother is happy in her body, we learn to be happy in our body inherently.

Thank you for posting this!

Leslie - Thanks for your post! There are so many things I love about what you wrote! While food and body issues are complex in their origin, what we model for our kids is a powerful anecdote to the forces within and in this world that define beauty and worth by the number on a scale. "If it matters to you, it will matter to them!" Amen, sister. I wish I could bottle up what you have and give it away to my clients for free. :-) I look forward to reading more of your posts in the future.

"I never let my daughters know how much it matters to me because I do not wish the same fate on them."

I agree that we have to change our language and behaviors in order avoid passing along negative esteem issues to our children. I would go a step further, however, to say that we need to work through our own issues related to body image. I hear so often from mothers that they don't know why their daughters are struggling with eating or body image when they've worked so hard to keep what they say in check in front of them. The problem is that kids are brilliant and intuitive and simply not saying the words to them doesn't mean they don't pick up on all the clues about our feelings about our own bodies. We may think we're fooling them, but if we do we're only fooling ourselves. I believe that we can't teach something that we don't live, so we need to live and breathe positive body image and healthy living.

It might be true that if kids were raised without these sort of input they wouldn't be influenced by what Barbie is wearing.

Unfortunately, the reality is that most kids aren't as fortunate as yours and will emulate the Barbie. I sometimes cannot believe what 12 year olds are wearing! (And sometimes it's mature women who shock me as well!)

I really identified with your growing up exerience. I was born and bred in Buenos Aires, where being thin is everything and the rate of plastic surgeries is one of the highest in the world. Being a size 8-10, I was actually told by doctors that I was obese.

So yes, body image issues.. I got them! But I've learned to love my curves and my shape, and even the fact that I jiggle and have cellulite.

My body is healthy and it takes care of me. Paying attention to it's needs has transformed my relationship with it, and as a result, my relationship with the world.

Dear Leslee,
I have never liked my body and I have never really understood why. It has just never been quite good enough. I am a size 6 and have never been overweight, and like you I can't remember a time when I looked at pictures in a magazine or at celebrities and believed that they represented what I was supposed to look like either.
Your post has made me wonder if my feelings are related to my own upbringing, but I can't rememeber any particularly negative experiences there, however, I don't remember any positive ones either.
I have a young son and daughter and I desperately want to avoid burdening them with a negative body image. I try hard not to let them experience my own difficult relationship with my body,and they see me naked frequently. But perhaps avoiding the negative is not enough. Maybe, like many aspects of parenting, it needs to be positive reinforcement all the way.
And maybe in the process I will come to accept and respect my body just the way it is.

You deserve a standing ovation for loving and embracing your beautiful body!!!

I have a son, and haven't thought much about the body image message I send him but realize that I'm certainly influencing how he thinks about women and their appearance.

Thanks for another thought-provoking post. As is my introvert way, I'm certain additional comments will come to me at a later time!

Jennifer
Astrologer, Educator &
Founder of FemCentral, the Virtual Institute for Women