I was talking with a client earlier this week and she told me that she used to have a garden outside that made her incredibly happy. She would spend her free time tending to the garden, loving the garden, and even won awards for its striking beauty. Usually by this time of year, the garden is in full swing and she is adding the finishing touches of decorative lights so she can also enjoy its beauty at night. She shared fond memories of her family sitting on the porch together and admiring the garden while enjoying the sweet summer air, a glass of wine, and each other.

Ignoring our passions

She now looks at the garden and feels sad. She feels empty. The garden is one more thing to do, one more thing to take care of. It is full of weeds, old mulch and dried leaves. She misses her old garden and the way she felt tending to it and enjoying it… but just can’t find the energy to get it started again. My client is a mom of three teenagers (and a damn good one I may add!). It has been a long year of unforeseen complications and family crisis. She has had the wind knocked out of her, and has been challenged in ways she never thought possible. She is tired and drained and has not only ignored her garden, but herself. I ask her, ”Why is it summer and your garden has been un-touched? Have your interests and passions changed, or is that you have no passion and energy because you have given up everything that makes you happy?” This client is particularly funny, as every time I touch on something she asks me to hold on so she can get a pen and paper. She writes the question down and agrees to journal about it during the week.

So this gardening client sent me an email yesterday to share that she had tackled that garden. A task that usually takes her days to complete was done in one day. She said she was like a wild woman; pulling weeds, planning flowers and mulching. She wanted to share that she didn’t know where this energy came from… but that she felt fantastic! She was writing to me as she was sitting on her porch, enjoying her garden -- and that glass of wine!

Losing the fun

I know all about the loss of fun. When I became a mother I was consumed with being a “mom”…and that was IT. I gave up everything that made me happy. I felt like I didn’t have the time or energy to peruse anything that interested me. At the time I just felt tired, unfulfilled… like something was missing. I thought I just didn’t like being a mom. Many years later I look back, and now know that I had lost my mojo, sense of self -- and I nearly lost my mind! Not because I didn’t enjoy being a mom, but I wasn’t enjoying me. I wasn’t enjoying MY life. I wasn’t having any fun.

We cannot be caretakers and forget about our self-care. Perusing our passions and interests makes us happy, and when we are happy, we are better caretakers. Sounds simple right? It is!

In honor of my dear client, grab your pen… Think of some interests and passions you used to have. What happened to them? Is it that your interests and passions have changed, or are YOU lacking energy because you have given up everything that makes you happy? What can you bring back? Is there something new you would like to try? What is one small step you can make this week to get going in the right direction? How can you incorporate a little fun into your day? Let's bring back the fun!

Yours in adventure,

Heather