Lissa -

Really enjoyed reading this - thanks for sharing your struggle. I want to point out the bigger question here that chaps me daily as a working mom: why are we women always forced to make this choice?? In the thread of our lives we have to choose between family and career virtually all the time. And it is in this polemic that we become disempowered, because no matter how we choose, we lose. If we choose to spend time with our families, our careers suffer, if we choose to spend more time at work, our children suffer. It's Scylla and Charibdis. Moreover, your commenter who challenged your choice by giving as an example his ability to take a red eye from his third day in a week of disneyworld to pull in $15M from a vc for his startup and return the next day misses the fact that for the majority of americans (especially american women) the choice between career and family is a choice between feeding and/or housing their children or being homeless and losing their kids to foster care. Leaving social justice issues aside, however, let's just focus on the gender imbalance here. Because until our culture embraces women in all our myriad of capabilities - nurturer, leader, creative, worker, idea generator, collaborator, mother, caretaker - we will never achieve parity in the corporate or political worlds. (Note that America is 85th in the world in female representation in Government - behind Pakistan, Afghanistan, Tajikistan, etc.) Imagine if our culture did embrace us, supported us as wives, mothers, friends, presidents, leaders, laborers, etc. - then we would really be FREE. What would our choices look like then?!

Definitely made the right choice Lissa!! I'm thinking of an episode of "Tough Enough", where this woman Michelle was telling Stone Cold Steve Austin, that she wanted to get this wrestling gig 'for' her daughter. She's since left the show. But what he said was: "I have 2 daughters. Do you know how many times I made Father of the Year? Not one f**king time!" May have sounded harsh, but of course, the point he was making, was that he lived his life as part of the old gard, where you can't 'do it all', be it all, and the like for everyone. I'm reminded of Frances Bean Cobain losing her Daddy and the world losing a great rockstar and more importantly, a great man, way to early. I'm thinking of Eminem and Shaun Morgan *SEETHER* as I write this, and of course, Eli, who has a baby girl on the way! *NONPOINT*. I think it's time for a MAJOR shift, a shift where rockstars, aren't seen as just rockstars, but seen as human beings. Where TV stars aren't missing weddings of their family and people like Shaun Morgan aren't being pushed back on the road just 3 weeks after his brother had killed himself. It's time for a new gard where even 'the famous people' are seen as people, not as 'famous', and where they can both take care of their families, and take care of their careers. It may be a long time in coming, but one of my many desires is to help make that become a reality, in some way, shape, or form, even if it just means hanging out after a show, telling them what a great performance they gave, and getting them to open up a bit and talk about their family and their other desires, so they feel like there's at least one fan who doesn't have her hand out seeking something, but has her hand out offering them a hand up! Thank you for posting this!! I think I have something to add to one of my areas of coaching I long to do now!! And all because I read this and started writing a reply! *huge hugs*!!!
Keep rockin' on and making those Pink choices that keep you authentic and living in your Pink spot!!

I just got back from yet another day of skiing (Siena made it all the way down the bunny slope by herself! WOOT!)

And once again, I'm blown away but your supportive words. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Really.
With great love from Tahoe
Lissa

Come on girl!!! You know you did the 'right' thing spending time with your girl and hubby. The time flies so fast when they are young, as David often said about you!!! ANd you know he would have been on that trip to the snow!!
Also really enjoyed your comments about Sienna and her wisdom... you know what they say about passing on the knowledge from Gparents... if you watch closely, you will see your Dad in there!!!

Be well, and let us know when you will be on national TV...
Roger

To those who continue to support me, bless you!

I have to tell you, though- that although they are not showing up as many of the comments, people are feeling compelled to write me private emails and tell me that I can't have both. Or that I should have gone to New York, because if I was a man, I would have.

And I find this so strange! Why do we hold such limiting beliefs about career/family balance?

What do you think?

I don't know about you- but I am walking a very fine balance of trying to have both. And I am always very mindful of my choices. For example, I went on a 20 city book tour, but I refused to be away from my daughter for more than a week. So on the one leg of the tour that was 3 weeks- I was away for a week, then she met me for a week, then away for a week, then home for two weeks.

Did I miss her? Absolutely. But she understood. And I had a message to deliver and a book to promote. Do I do it perfectly? Of course not. But I am conscious in my choices every step of the way.

Last week was all about career. This week is all about family. Maybe I can't have a balanced day, but I can have a balanced month...

Still trying to have it both ways
Lissa

Lissa,

While you know in your heart you made the right choice, I will say that I admire you for walking away from productivity to play with your family! You protected your plans and gave it the importance it was due! Forever enjoy your memories!

You're awesome, Lissa! Have a super wonderful birthday and happy times with your family! You're a star and your daughter's shining right there along with you.
lots of love xoxo

Oh my goodness. I've been out and about in Lake Tahoe all day with my family and just returned to this outpouring of love and support. THANK YOU! I so appreciate all of your validation from those of you who agree with my decision.

And for those of you who think I should have gone to New York- I hear you. I do. But I don't regret a thing.

I did ask if I could bring my whole family, but the whole opportunity just came and went in a blink.

And no- I don't think it has to be either/or. I genuinely believed I could do both. But in this situation, I couldn't.

And so I am enjoying this peaceful week with my family after the whirlwind media circus of last week. Today, we drove all the way around Lake Tahoe, stopped and played at all the beaches, went tubing at Northstar, ate sushi, and laughed a whole lot.

Ice cream $3.99
Gondola lift ticket $15
Watching your daughter's face when she makes snow angels PRICELESS

Bless you, my friends
Lissa

Hey Lissa,

I write this as the daughter of a mother who did quite a bit of jetting off when I was growing up and as a daughter who would throw myself at her feet every time she left, begging her not to go.

Your post brought tears to my eyes and I just wanted to tell you from a very, very personal standpoint that you did the right thing.

What's so powerful about your choice is that it's done in faith. Choosing to go to NYC would have been a choice out of fear, where as staying home with your family and your little girl and choosing not to break her heart again, is one of total faith and beauty.

Thank you for doing the right thing and publicizing it. Thank you for not selling out. Thank you for trusting that the universe and the future of your work are bigger than todays "news" and one national TV spot.

You rock. This post really touched my heart.

Love you,
Kate

Ahhhhhhhhh... how BITTERSWEET living the full catastrophe of Life is! You are such my female ZORBA Lissa! Good/bad... right/wrong... truly you are living fully... and feeling it, ALL of it every step of the way! YAY!

It pains me that the producers of the show did not hear or choose the opportunity in making it WORK for all... in some way, somehow. And that as it may... they gave you a smashing role in your Life movie! Just say NO to Oprah! WOW!!!

Your wee in-house buddha KNOWS! hahaha! YAY for the genius of KIDS! YOU ain't goin away ANYTIME soon! you've only just begun. And thus, once more, they will be knockin at your door! You ain't no overnight sensation!!!

And then, while sitting on stage in full "lights camera ACTION!" guess what story YOU will be able to tell! hahahaha! YES!

You've only just begun.

(Oh... I do love Jake's story. And, I know that if it had been this crucial of a situation for your precious Owning Pink, you and your vice-president daughter may well have made a very different decision.)

Wooot Lissa! You did the right thing girl!
When you get on that show you can use this experience as a perfect example of how important it is to make the choices that are important to you! After all that is what this journey as all about!

Lissa, the other day I read a sign: There is no good or bad, no right or wrong, no black or white. There is only choice. Your choices have opened so many doors for you, for your family, for your career, for the women you inspire. Clearly, the program didn't care about the issues or your knowledge--it cared about the news agenda. You were wise to care for yourself and your family rather than to be used to fill a news story. Your expertise will be lauded plenty in the future!

hmmm let's recap. You're awesome, so is your Zen daughter, BIG TV wants your awesome self to talk about how parents need to empower their daughters to love and appreciate their bodies, you said bad timing I have a daughter that needs me now, lets compromise, they said no. You made out Lissa, it's about you, your family and they made it about today's news and "them."

Your act has given your daughter and anyone else reading this an empowering lesson on how to love and appreciate timing, thoughtfulness and decisions that might appear to be sacrifices but are complex gifts of their own.

You got out of your own way. Hope the snow is gorgeous.

Lissa,
You made the right choice for where you are now in your life. Sometimes we have to give up something good in order to get something great. You gave up a good opportunity to promote yourself for a great opportunity to teach your daughter how important family is. You will be rewarded tenfold!

Love,
Lisa

Dear Lissa,

My heart empathizes with your feeling of loss. Everyone is correct that the universe is infinitely abundant and as long as we continue to listen to our intuitive guidance, the opportunities continue to come.

However, it sounds like what is really happening for you, is that there is a deep belief system there, that many of us have, that you have to choose, that the world is about "trade-offs" or "either/or".

In the same way that the universe is infinitely abundant and ever expanding, it only really knows "and".

It would be a great exercise for you to do whatever processes you adore use regularly to teach you body, on a visceral level, that who you are is beyond choosing and is evidence of abundance itself.

Lots & Lots of Love,

Jessica

Lissa, I love the choice that you made. Your husband and daughter are more important that the TV show that wanted to interview you. If you had chosen the career, your daughter would have learned that she comes second to your career. She is a beautiful little Buddha. She is confident in her place in your life. That came from always knowing that she is in first place over your career. She knows how important she is to you because of all of the decisions that you have made in the past that put her needs first.

By the time that I was 6 years old and in first grade, I knew that promises were to be broken by parents. You have not taught that to your child. I am glad. Even today I don't make promises because of all the broken promises in my childhood. I am glad that your daughter does not know the pain of broken promises.

Your choice also says that you mean what you say and what you teach. You stuck with your own values in putting your family first over your career. This was a test of sorts for you and you passed in flying colors.

Lissa, if you would have went, your whole heart wouldn't have been there and your message wouldn't be as strong. It would have gotten diluted because part of you would have been with the show and the other part with your family.

You never make a wrong decision putting family first. Speaking from experience as a daughter, I would have been beyond thrilled if my mom would have put me first before her work. I lost respect for her growing up and never trusted her when she would tell me one thing and then choose work over what she promised.

I feel confident that you will be richly rewarded for making this decision and that something even better will come along.

You did the right thing and I admire you. The Universe sent you loving, faith-filled messages about your relationships with your daughter and husband. Your Gremlin tried to scare you into believing you needed that show for your career. Faith over fear, baby! So, where do you keep your cape?

...and that's what counts....not the "Important network" deciding your life..Who are those people? They would have been so much better off inviting your whole family to come and paying for it....and showing they support family AND career.....geez...talk about appropriate and clever marketing.
The "important networks" care about numero uno...THEMSELVES! Your news today then not news tomorrow.
The look on your daughters face making those snowmen with you...well, a mother should not have to choose away from that...there should be effectual compromise! You would have diappointed millions if you had jumped when they said jump. Thanks for not being like that!

I'm proud of you Lissa for making this hard choice. I struggle with this issue every day: work on what I love, or spend time with those I love (or do the damn laundry). It's the balance we all struggle to keep. And I think it's especially hard for women who feel their calling right down to their pink painted toe nails. :)

So proud of you for standing with your heart!!

Yet,I'm thinking YOU WERE IN THE NYT!!! and T.V. producers read one quote and loved you!!! There's a boat-load of gratitude right there. Yippee!

I love that you are trusting in the Universe. You've handed your message over and the Almighty is using it. If you are "needed" on a national T.V. show you can bet the opportunity will come again, and again, and again.

How cool is that! Good look with all that you do. Also, I think you will get many other opportunities to appear on national television. I work in PR so I know opportunities come and go. It's not forever lost, trust me.

I had a similar but different experience. I was in the middle of raising money for a startup I worked for. One last meeting in San Jose and we could close the round. No problem I will be there. But the meeting kept getting postponed until it fell right in the middle of, you guessed it, spring break. I could have said no. I had been telling my children for 3 years, as soon as the youngest is tall enough to ride we would go. He finally hit the mark. So we headed to Disney World for the week. We spent the first three days together, that night they took me to the airport, I caught the red eye from Orlando to San Jose, had the meeting and caught the red eye back and they picked me up in time for breakfast. But that isn’t why you should have gone. On the way to the airport I told my kids why I had to go, we needed $15M to keep the company running, and they needed my help. I got out of the car, grabbed my suitcase and leaned through the window to kiss them good bye. My son put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a key chain with a penny in it that he had found on the ground at Disney World. He handed it to me and said ‘Good luck Dad, I think you should take my lucky penny for your trip’. When I got back I told him we got the $15M and his lucky penny worked. All of a sudden he was part of the solution. We still talk about it and that was 3 or 4 years ago. I know the work/family balance is never easy. But children respect hard work and commitment to a cause, to work, to collogues, as well as to the family. In the end it comes down to what you feel comfortable with but your daughter knew they needed you as well and would have been proud either way.