If you discovered you had a natural talent that energizes you, while simultaneously inspiring and empowering other people, you’d embrace it, right? What if your friends and family considered it “odd,” or even “evil?"  I, quite accidentally, discovered that I am a natural astrologer. A little over a year ago, a woman I then worked with offered to look at my astrological chart. I knew next to nothing about astrology, other than I was an “Aquarius” because I was born on February 4. 

I’ve always been obsessed, however, with anything that will help me to learn more about myself. I’ve taken every personality test that I can find (I’m an INFJ, for all you Myers-Briggs scholars). And, at that point I discovered astrology, I’d spent a year on a dedicated personal quest to discover "who I really was.” I’d been seeing a cognitive therapist (with heavy Buddhist leanings) and had been collecting a wide array of books on self-help and meditation. So, despite some skepticism, I agreed to have my coworker look at my chart. 

Starting to twinkle

Then, it began. I became fascinated with my chart and all its various planets and houses and signs and aspects. The coworker started bringing in astrology books for me to borrow. I bookmarked all the astrology sites I could find (and there are a lot!). I started running charts on close friends and family, carefully choosing people who I knew would be open to astrology. I still was highly skeptical - I mean, how can the position of planets at our birth really determine our personalities, or our strengths and weaknesses? But, with each chart reading, and each confirmation that the chart was a reflection of the person, my skepticism broke down a little bit more.

More and more often, people would say to me, “you should charge for this,” or “have you ever considered becoming a professional astrologer?”  No! I told them I wasn’t good enough, or that I was afraid of becoming one of those people who have the word “psychic” spelled out on their roof (you’ve seen those houses, right?).  But, I continued to read more and more and study more and more and do more and more charts.

Of the “devil”?

While visiting my parents several months ago, I asked my mother if she knew her time of birth and if she’d mind if I ran her chart. She agreed, somewhat reluctantly. When I read the chart for her, she said, “you know this is of the devil, right? But, it does sound just like me.”  Ahh, yes. It may be “true,” but it’s evil. I don’t believe that astrology is “of the devil,” but I knew my family did. And, when I was much younger, there was likely a time that I believed it as well. I meditated on this a bit and realized that part of my fear of fully embracing my talent was that the younger version of me thought that would mean I was demonic! I asked myself the question, “what would it mean if you knew you were GOOD?” My fear evaporated.

The bully within

Despite this, and despite my increasing openness, I still had a good bit of hesitation. One friend was constantly encouraging me to fully embrace this part of myself, and suggested that I record myself talking about astrology so I could hear how full of passion my voice was. I meditated on my hesitation, and realized that I was afraid of what other people would think. I know that I’m not the only person in the world who’s skeptical about reading the stars, and I was raised by parents who repeatedly told me that other people’s opinions of me were the most important thing in life because “other people have power over you.”  No amount of after-school specials telling me to “not care what other people think” was going to un-program that powerful message! 

So, how did I move past it? Well, I haven’t completely. I’ve had to accept that I’m always going to be nervous about what other people think. I’m nervous about writing this blog post!  Something I learned in therapy, though, is that you can’t argue a thought a way. Arguing with your thoughts, feelings and beliefs make them stick around LONGER. So, when this fear of what others are thinking comes up, I leave space for it.  I don’t have to let the belief bully me, but I can say, “I respect my worry, and I’m willing to live with it.” Interestingly, this has lessened the power the belief has over me. I don’t know if it will ever fully go away, but that’s ok - it makes me who I am!

Structured “woo-woo”

Actually, that’s what I love about reading people’s astrological charts – helping them to recognize and accept all parts of themselves and encouraging their uniqueness. What works for one person may be disastrous for another, so I point out ways they can “work their chart,” using their natural talents to achieve whatever their goals may be.

And, I’ve found that my little bit of remaining skepticism is an asset. Over and over, people have told me that my innate practicality has helped them to have more faith in my readings. One client said that I can “take the ‘woo-woo-ist’ of subjects and create a structure that would make sense to the most passionate of cynics.” Structured “woo-woo" - yep, that’s me!

Each of us has a unique combination of talents, passions and viewpoints. What outdated beliefs are keeping you from fully accepting yours? Are you aware of them? Do you argue with them? I encourage everyone to take the time to reflect on your fears and your reaction to them. Sometimes, simple awareness will cause them to evaporate. Other times, they become an integral part of how you operate. Regardless, they should be brought to the surface and examined in broad daylight. You owe it to yourself to embrace who you really are.

Woo-ily yours,

Jennifer

Featured photo from Dreamstime