For the past two years, Lydia has been involved with a man who, it has become increasingly clear, is not a healthy choice for a boyfriend. Julian is moody, often depressed, and has recently become verbally and even physically abusive.

After weeks of soul-searching about whether and how to proceed in the relationship, one afternoon, Lydia says, “I just got it.” In that moment, she felt a deep, inner affinity to herself.

“When I finally connected with that part of me,” Lydia says, “I knew without a doubt that this guy was really bad for me.” Along with her newfound clarity, Lydia also had tapped into a great source of strength and will power. She ended the relationship immediately.

Lydia says she’d been cut off from this deep connection to herself—what some would call her higher self, her inner wisdom, her source, or the divine—for so long that it felt like an entirely separate entity to her. When we asked what she might call that entity, or what image suggested itself to her, Lydia responded instantly: Athena.

“Athena is this beautiful, bad-ass female gladiator,” Lydia explains. “I really relate to her—her confidence, her strength, her wisdom.”

For Lydia, naming her inner wisdom has made it much more accessible. When she’s feeling out of sorts, unsure, or worried, she can now call upon her Athena within. When she finds herself criticizing what she sees in the mirror, she can take another look—through Athena’s eyes. Lydia is confident that with Athena in her life, the loving relationship she’s been so longing for is now within her reach.

Connecting?

Most of us have times when we experience a deep sense of peace, inspiration, or awareness, or are in touch with our own source of passion and wisdom. When we feel this deep connection to ourselves, we can put our attention on our current challenges and desires and receive clear guidance about how to best approach them. A few people seem to live this way most of the time, while many of us feel connected to our higher self sporadically or only when we consciously give ourselves time to slow down, meditate, or connect with nature.

Associating an image with our higher self can help us find our way back to it when we’re feeling uneasy, stressed, or challenged. The image gives us a very personal, direct connection with our inner wisdom.

This image can be anything: a mountain, an ocean, an eagle, the wind. The image of a fountain allows me (Mali) to instantly connect with the source of my creativity and passion. When I (Joe) envision my “inner tree,” I immediately feel rooted and reunited with the source of my strength and personal power.

Another client, Naomi, sees her inner guide as herself as an old, wise woman who has compassion and guidance—a woman who looks at Naomi with love and understanding.

“This image of myself as a loving grandmother instantly connects me with my own answers,” Naomi says.

Naming your source allows you to summon and reconnect with its essence and strength when challenging times and situations arise. Just remember, “Oh, I’m out of touch with my mountain” and feel for that “mountain energy” inside of you.

As Lydia says, “Even if I’m unaware of Athena at times, I now know that she will always be accessible to me.”

What image embodies your higher self? The fountain and the tree would love to hear—and sharing your image may help others to access their own.

Authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships and hosts of The Soulmate Experience community on Facebook