Please welcome the extraordinary Laura Campbell, Divorce Expert and Life Reinvention Coach, as well as the founder of The D Spot where she supports women to regroup, renew and reinvent themselves before, during and after divorce. With our recent conversations on religion and 9/11, this post on Rosh Hashana and renewal feels timely -- and who doesn't need an excuse for a little renewal on a Monday? Thanks, Laura!

Last week was Rosh Hashanah, also known as the Jewish New Year.

Each year since becoming an adult, I have eagerly anticipated the arrival of the Jewish New Year in September and the opportunity for reflection and renewal. Perhaps it is that Rosh Hashanah occurs just as the beginning of the school year arrives, that has created for me a true sense of renewal and reinvention.

Let go of what was

As a result, I find the fall the perfect time for me to take stock in my life, accept responsibility for my words, actions and behaviors over the past year, let go of “what was” and create an intention for what will be in the coming year.

Since my divorce, I have had a hard time connecting to my Jewish faith in the same way that I did before. I am no longer with my children for the entire holiday and I can assure you, the invitations for Rosh Hashanah dinners and New Year gatherings no longer grace my mailbox. Between you and I, I have not even affiliated with a new synagogue as I am not sure where I “fit in” yet. I am still creating a new relationship with my Jewish faith and tradition as a single parent and woman.

The piece of the holiday which I truly love is taking time to sit quietly, reflect on the past year, ask forgiveness from those whom I may have inadvertently hurt, and let go of it all. At the same time, I welcome in a New Year of personal and professional commitments and intentions. The complete process is refreshing and invigorating for me.

New rituals

What I learned after my divorce is how to take the joy of the holidays and create new rituals and celebrations, while at the same time, shedding those things which were no longer serving me.

For example, I do not go to Synagogue in the same way that I once did. As my children go with their father to the Synagogue we once belonged to together, I am no longer comfortable in that setting. Although it was uncomfortable at first, my ultimate goal is that they experience an observance of the holiday with family and loved ones, and that is what they are doing. I have created new ways of celebrating the holiday with them.

I now go to Synagogue with my parents or friends, only if I feel the connection, and I stay for as long as I am comfortable. I have let go of feeling “guilty” about observing the holiday as it is “supposed” to be.

As well, when I got divorced, I gave my family the custodial arrangement that I now had with my Ex and asked if they would be willing to create family gatherings and celebrations around my new schedule so that I could have my children with me when we were all together….and they did. Now, on the days and nights that I do not have my children, I can create different kinds of celebrations…even if it is spending the time alone in reflection.

Accepting responsibility and moving forward

Knowing how much I love the letting go piece and the setting of intentions for the “New Year”, I spend a great deal of time in September to accept responsibility for my own limiting fears and beliefs, and creating a plan for moving forward in the coming year towards all that I want to be, do and create.

And, I share this experience with my children and family, in a new way.

It has sometimes been uncomfortable creating new ways of observing holidays and occasionally painful, but I have decided that I will gain the most from them if I stay focused on what the holiday truly means to me and what I ultimately wish to accomplish through its celebration.

I wanted to share this with you in the hope that you will join me this fall in reflecting on this past year, letting go of “what was” and setting your intention for the year ahead. We don’t have to wait until January 1st to create new resolutions…we can use each and every day as a reason… even the beginning of the school year!

What about you? Did divorce or other lifestyle shift allow you to create new rituals and celebrations? How do you accept responsibility and move forward in your life? Are there different times of year, beyond January 1, when you feel a sense of renewal?

To those of you who do observe Rosh Hashanah, I wish you a happy and healthy new year…a year filled with joy, happiness and sheer joy!

Onwards,

Laura