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Girls Can Get Kicked Where it Hurts Too

Monica Wilcox's picture

It’s a good thing my mother is hanging out on the far side of Heaven because I know she’s mortified that I’m not only stating the word “vagina”, but I’m actually going to talk about it -- like unpleasant personal experiences and all. She’s fuming, “Monica! Remember when you were 5 and we had THE TALK? The first thing I told you was that these matters were private and we don’t discuss them with anyone!!” And I’d have to respond, “That’s precisely the problem Mom, society talks so little about our “privates” that we’ve completely skipped discussing some serious everyday issues -- namely that a woman can physically harm her vagina in numerous ways.”

It’s true, I know. Not because Mrs. Carson, my eighth grade health education teacher, covered the subject, or because we discussed vaginal trauma in my Human Sexuality course in college, or because it’s a hot topic regularly covered by Cosmo but because I’ve had the misfortune to experience it personally.

Always Fall to the Side

The first time was in college when my boyfriend and his family offered to teach me how to water ski. I was an avid downhill and cross country skier for most of my childhood but, since Wyoming is not known for its lakes, I had never been given the chance to learn (“Is that a bright red warning sign I see?”). I can proudly say I got up on the first try and did relatively well for about 100 yards until I bobbled, my feet raced ahead of my hips, my knees decided they were out of the running and gave up, while my shaky arms were determined to right the rest of my body. I ended up dragging my butt across the water for a good ten feet before I decided all was lost and I let go of the handle.

As I waited for the boat to come back around for me, a pain went tearing through my urethra as if my bladder was trying to expel gasoline. A fire slowly swept through my gut, curling me into a bobbing ball as I tried to control an overwhelming urge to feed the fish my breakfast. “That was great!!” my boyfriend boomed as he helped me into the boat. “I can’t believe you stayed up on the first try! A few more times and you’ll have it down.” A few more times and I would be a few internal organs short. But how was I going to explain to him, and his smiling parents, that I’d seriously hurt my unmentionables? None of them had forewarned me that a girl could demolish her entire reproductive and urinary system if she fell wrong. Someone should have said, “No matter what, FALL TO THE SIDE!!”

A Case of Internal Bladder Scarring 

By the time I made it to the beach port-a-potty to confirm that I was bleeding from my urethra, there was no time for feminine discretion as I whispered to him that we needed to find a doctor -- like, now. In my one failed attempt to fall, I’d given my bladder and my vagina a super deluxe power wash with lake water. It took a month to clear up the instantaneous bladder infection before I underwent surgery to remove the INTERNAL SCARRING. Hey Mrs. Carson, did you know girls can get kicked where it hurts too?

A month later I ran into a good friend who was a top notch water skier and asked her if she’d ever had water jet stream up the wrong area, “Well…you kinda have to be careful about that.” She said with a secret smile. Good to know, good to know.

Straddle Injuries?

I didn’t get “kicked” again until this year, when I began to feel a slight stinging along the edge of my vagina. After a few days it got worse and I decided I better make a visit to my doctor, who took one look and asked, “Have you had particularly rough sex lately?”

"No, not rough enough to remember.” I replied, feeling my face burn with a scarlet blush. When my mother said we did not discuss these matters with anyone did she mean with the doctor too? “Are you a biker?” Well now that he mentioned it…yes, yes I am. I had recently upped my spin class participation from three times a week to five and as some women can attest, the seat can pinch those delicate tissues. “Yep!!” he confirmed. “It’s your bike. You’ve got a sore on your labia, like the sore you get from biting the inside of your cheek. It’s the same kind of tissue.” Now I was not only embarrassed but intrigued. “You can tell if someone’s a biker at one look?” He chuckled at me, “I can get a pretty good picture of every woman’s private life -- straddle injuries, honeymooner’s syndrome, excessive masturbation.” Honeymooner’s syndrome? Why haven’t I heard of these conditions? And why does a man (albeit a family doctor) know more about physical injury to the vajayjay than I do? I’m afraid my mother, as thorough as she was in our sex discussion, AND Mrs. Carson AND my college professor, have completely bypassed some critical information

So share with me ladies; tell me I’m not the only woman who has experienced bodily injury to her hoo-haa? Were you aware that such injuries could occur? Has your spin class instructor or horseback riding arena posted a warning: This activity may be hazardous to female genitalia!! Do you think we may want to educate our daughters on the subject so that they will be prepared to fall to the side…always fall to the side?

Photo by Parker Carcass

Comments

Anonymous's picture

Kicked hard enough

You most certainly can be kicked hard enough to have to see the doctor, and while the whole idea has its funny side, funny is not how you find it if it happens. I was kicked in the vulva (by another female, thank you, sisters) during a bag snatch/mugging some years back, and suffice it to say that having had three kids I thought I had already experienced agony. After that kick, I realised I hadn't until then. Followd by more fun, in the shape of the pain actually getting worse for many hours until the medics relented and gave me morphine. I had to be catheterised for three days, and I was able to think about sex again in a mere three months.

Monica Wilcox's picture

Crossing My Legs and Groaning

Fellow Sister-you've got me curled up in a protective ball just reading about your ordeal. Our society (male and female) never hesitates to clutch our thighs when we see a man get kicked but our sympathy for women in the same situation is so minimal most of the population is unaware it can happen, much less how painful it can be, internally and externally. With a VERY sympathetic heart, here's hoping once is enough for your lifetime! So sorry you had to experince it even once!

noelle's picture

a little, bitty cut

One time, I accidentally cut myself a little with my finger nail while masturbating. I was afraid it would get infected, but luckily it didn't! Thanks for a great article.

Monica Wilcox's picture

Little Bitty

And to think you may have been setting yourself up for something very painful and ugly. :) Take care of those tender areas girl! Glad you enjoyed the post Noelle.

XOXO

noelle's picture

Oh, yes, to be on the safe

Oh, yes, to be on the safe side I should have done something about it other than crossing my fingers (and keeping them out of there for a while). I was a clueless teenager then, and too embarrassed to tell my mom or anyone. =)

Lissa Rankin's picture

Hey girlfriend, let's tell it like it is

Thank YOU Monica for creating this safe space in which we can share our traumas (and a few awkward giggles) about how delicate our soft spots are. Thank GODDESS we're talking it about it! That's what makes my day.
To the truth (painful though it may be)
Lissa

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Lissa Rankin's picture

vulvar cancers

Oh- Monica and Anonymous- just read your Holy Girl Parts Batman exchange- and just to alleviate the worries, vulvar cancers are almost never cystic. They are funky looking mole-like, sometimes dark, sometimes fleshy growths. Labial cysts are almost always something different. But good for you for pointing it out Monica (Just didn't want you to worry about the C word, Anonymous. As long as a doc has seen it, you should be good!)
xoxo

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Monica Wilcox's picture

Good to Know!!!

It's always nice to have an expert on hand!!! Thanks Lissa for the clarification. Like I said; I've never read anything or had a discussion on what vulvar cancer looks like OR labial cysts and how a woman would know the difference. Now if funky mole-like growths show up, I'll know we are talking serious business.

There is such a void of information for most women on our general vaginal health, which is why it's been so fantastic to have you and Owning Pink filling in the gaps. It's not always comfortable to talk about but it's worse to be in pain, feel clueless as to what could be wrong, and yet,feel too embarrassed to ask for advice.

It really is a blessing that we have this safe and open space to discuss what we have naturally been given and fully intend to keep healthy!

Kudos, Kudos, Kudos!

Lissa Rankin's picture

labial cysts

Dear Anonymous,
Oh honey- I'm sorry! Did you have a Bartholin's gland cyst. OUCH! I've never had one, but as an OB/GYN, I'm seen then, and when they get infected, they can hurt like the dickens. I'm so glad yours is getting better, and I'm sending you lots of healing juju with hopes that your vulva returns to its normal happy self soon.
Big love
Lissa

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Lisa Byrne's picture

re: your supportive replies -Girl Parts.

Thank you Lissa, and Monica for the supportive replies!

Such sweet, concerned ladies. Lissa, it was not a Bartholomew cyst-but of course-once I started looking up things online I suspected it could be any number of things. When problems pop up fast- especially on such sensitive places-one never knows what to think! Talking with my partner and seeing my doctor helped. I felt more confident after she examined me and explained that this can happen as body's reaction from friction, rubbing, or even a scratch. The worst cast scenario was enlargement and/or surgery. She suggested hot soaks, and healing warm compresses, to relieve pain, swelling, and to facilitate healing. And told me to contact her ASAP if I didn't quickly improve, or got worse. I did what she said, and also took it easy for a few days too. Almost 100% better now.

Monica, I really didn't think it was cancer, but you know that thought was there.The same doc just removed a suspicious mole from my belly the week before. The whole event was an unexpected learning experience.I posted in case it happens to a women who might delay treatment due to shyness/fear-which I also read about online. Thanks for creating a place we can share.

Take care all xxx

Monica Wilcox's picture

Passing it on

I'm so glad you shared this with us Lisa. Based on what you have described it sounds like I could get one of these cysts from my oh-so-killer spin class. If it hasn't happened already, I'm sure another Pinky will read your post and say "Oh, so that's what I'm experiencing!"

Thanks for pulling the curtain off of this one!!

Monica Wilcox's picture

Passing it on

I'm so glad you shared this with us Lisa. Based on what you have described it sounds like I could get one of these cysts from my oh-so-killer spin class. If it hasn't happened already, I'm sure another Pinky will read your post and say "Oh, so that's what I'm experiencing!"

Thanks for pulling the curtain off of this one!!

Lisa Byrne's picture

spelling

Bartholin cyst. LOL :)

Anonymous's picture

Where it hurts...

Recently ended up with a sizable cyst where I never knew you could get one. On my inner labia.

Holy girl-parts bat man was I surprised! (Also by the pain and discomfort this unexpected swelling caused) Got it looked at right away and my Dr prescribed daily warm soaks/towel compresses-and keeping an eye on it. So far it is shrinking. YAY. I'm feeling much better now after a few weeks. I just had no idea...

Monica Wilcox's picture

Dear Where it hurts..

So sorry if I gave the impression that I thought you might have cancer. I was only curious if your mind jumped down that road before you got in to see the Doctor since you (like myself) didn't know the labia could get cysts. It's the lack of education that can trigger the worst fears in our mind. Sorry again if my post implied much more than it was.

Once again-happy healing.

Monica Wilcox's picture

Holy girl-parts bat man

I had no idea either. Vaginal cysts? Did your Doctor mention why you got it or do these just pop up to send us into a panic? Were you worried it was cancer? I've never been educated on vulvar cancer and have no idea what it would look or feel like much less how common it is. So...I did a quick search and came up with this link for those of you, like me, who keep an eye on your moles and do your self breast exams but haven't thought much about cancers of the reproductive system. You learn something new in every post...thanks for sharing with us and here is a prayer for some quick healing.

http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/VulvarCancer/DetailedGuide/vulvar-cancer-di...

dana Damico's picture

Waterski injury to the "other" area

So, I had a memorable waterskiing accident this past week on vacation in Maine. The water rushed not to my hooha but up my bum. For hours, it felt like I got a very harsh enema courtesy of Panther Pond. I'm gonna remember your "fall to the side" advice.

Monica Wilcox's picture

One week earlier

So this confirms it!! I'm not the only one. Thank you Dana for stepping up (or maybe I should say hobbling up).

If I had only connected with you a week ago I could have saved you some serious discomfort!! It begs the question: why don't girls have a "cup"? Something we could slide in before we hit the water, or the bike? Why do boys get to claim all the protective gear?

Hope your next venture onto the lake cleanses your soul, not your unmentionables. :)

dana Damico's picture

Waterski injury to the "other" area

So, I had a memorable waterskiing accident this past week on vacation in Maine. The water rushed not to my hooha but up my bum. For hours, it felt like I got a very harsh enema courtesy of Panther Pond. I'm gonna remember your "fall to the side" advice.

Anonymous's picture

My Mom hit a tree riding on

My Mom hit a tree riding on her bike and smacked herself on the bar of the bike. She talked about it her whole life must have hurt! I rode horses never had a problem.

Monica Wilcox's picture

Bike Bars

I've hit the bike bar hard enough that it made me cringe to think of what your poor mom must have gone through. My guess is she suffered privately. You don't see very many women with a bag of frozen peas stuffed between their legs. Think how many little girls have seriously hurt themselves but never had the nerve to tell anyone about it...never got ice or pain killers. It's pathetically sad when you think about it.

I've rode horses too and never had a problem but I've heard it can be. I think that's one we can both pass on personally experiencing, don't you agree.

Thanks for bringing all those bike injuries out into the open!!!

Monica Wilcox's picture

Bike Bars

I've hit the bike bar hard enough that it made me cringe to think of what your poor mom must have gone through. My guess is she suffered privately. You don't see very many women with a bag of frozen peas stuffed between their legs. Think how many little girls have seriously hurt themselves but never had the nerve to tell anyone about it...never got ice or pain killers. It's pathetically sad when you think about it.

I've rode horses too and never had a problem but I've heard it can be. I think that's one we can both pass on personally experiencing, don't you agree.

Thanks for bringing all those bike injuries out into the open!!!

Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul's picture

More, more!

Oh boy... now my nether-regions are starting to hurt. Thanks for this hilarious and honest post. We need more open discussion of these issues!

Monica Wilcox's picture

Pain in the nether-regions

Sorry, Ashley! I didn't mean to cause you discomfort in your nether-regions. We get enough natural pain down there we don't need blog posts adding to it.

I wholeheartedly agree that we need to discuss this issue more. I was shocked at how few articles I could find on this subject to link to on the Net...which tells you something.

Keep sharing and nourishing!

Lauren Nagel's picture

This post made me keel over...

and do that squirmy dance that I always make fun of fellas for doing! Thanks for writing about this Monica - it's just one more aspect of the "down there" that no one wants to talk about so kudos to YOU. And ouch.
xoxox

Monica Wilcox's picture

Doing the Squirmy Dance

Why isn't there a squirmy dance for girls? No one gasps and tucks their knees when a girl falls off her bike seat onto the cross bar of a boy's bike but every girl can tell you it hurts!!! Maybe Lauren, we should come up with a dance to show we sympathise for our sisters too.

Let's see what you can come up with? :)

Lissa Rankin's picture

Oh my love!

Yes, it's true. Girls CAN get kicked where it hurts too. As an OB/GYN, I can't tell you how many falling on balance beam/ straddling bicycle/ kicked by little bro during a kick fight injuries I've seen. I have to say- I've never seen bladder scarring from a lake water douche. OUCH! I'm so sorry sweetie. How awful for you.

Thanks for shining a light down there to remind us that, as strong as we are, we're still awfully delicate in certain soft places.
xoxo

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Monica Wilcox's picture

Seen Your Share

I'm sure Lissa you have seen some painful and unpleasant stuff. Maybe I am the only girl who did a harsh internal cleaning trying to water ski, which would be fine since I wouldn't wish that on any woman. Needless to say I have never braved another attempt to "ride the wake". :)

Girls can get kicked hard enough they need to see the doctor? I'm not surprised, yet the lack of discussion around this injury leads one to believe it not only never happens but can't happen. Now your patients will know they aren't the only ones and if it can be discussed on the Internet, it can be discussed in health class.

I'm so glad to join your drive to enlightening women on our softer places!!

Many blessings for health!!

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