
I want to start a Compliment Revolution. There are a few revolutions I'd like to ignite, actually, but this one is super easy. If you're with me (go ahead, shout it now, I'm with you!). I think we could change the world this very week. So I'm declaring this the week of Global Compliments. (Someone call Hallmark and the Nobel Peace Prize committee.)
How To Give A Compliment
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Sincerity is paramount. Fake compliments are very bad juju. The good news is that you shouldn't have to look too hard to find reasons to compliment the people around you.
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Compliments on how great someone looks are easy ways to spread the love... I was standing in line at The Gap and there was a 30-something woman ahead of me - cute as a button, she was. Pixie hair cut and red nails. She was wearing a houndstooth knit poncho, skinny jeans, patent leather ankle boots and an over-sized men's watch. She had it goin' on. I waited until she was snapping her wallet shut and leaned forward and said, "You look great," and gave her that chick-to-chick "well done" nod. "Oh really? she said. "I don't feel great." And then her eyes filled with tears. "Gee, that was so nice to hear, thanks." And I just nodded, a bit taken aback myself, my own eyes a bit misty. I hoped she walked a bit taller all the way home.
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Compliments are a tiny but potent form of intimacy. If you're complimenting a total stranger, make it brief and quick so your pure intentions don't get misconstrued as a come-on. Sometimes, it's best to compliment someone as a "drive by" or last minute gesture. And use your best intuition for the vibe. I once walked up to a woman in a food court and said, "You look f-cking fabulous." She just about choked on her salad roll, but she did smile from ear to ear and I saw her grinning and nodding to herself as I walked away.
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Compliments for good customer service are a joy to give, especially when you go out of your way to give them. Last week I called customer service to open a new bank account online. "Just keep clicking 'other,'" the guy prompted me. "And be sure to transfer this there before you do that or you'll get dinged a fee." He was my hero. "Robert," I said, "this was such great service. Do you have a supervisor I can talk to? I'd like to tell them that you're great." Well I thought Robert was going to break out into a showtune he was so happy. And, get this -- when I spoke to his manager, he told me that staff with the most positive customer feedback will win a free cruise this year. So my one minute compliment may land Robert a good tan and some pina coladas when he most needs them.
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Keep it simple. Send love through your eyes and voice. Imagine things blooming from your lil' gesture of goodness.
How about you, Pinkies? I want to hear how you rocked the force of positivity for universal good. We can do it. We're amazing human beings, each of us. Don't need to look too far to comment on that.
Let the revolution begin,
Danielle
Danielle LaPorte is the creator of WhiteHotTruth.com, which has been called "the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality." She is the author of The Fire Starter Sessions: A Digital Experience for Entrepreneurs. You can find her on Twitter @daniellelaporte. Proceeds from the purchase of The Fire Starter Sessions go to Owning Pink! Click here to check it out.

Comments
Absolutely Agreeing
By Kat Creighton (not verified) on Monday, 07/19/2010 at 7:43 AMOne little compliment absolutely can take someone's day from dreadful to delightful. As a manager in a large retail environment I hear complaints much more often than I hear compliments. And believe me, I have a great staff! When a customer takes the time to seek me out and let me know how happy they are with the service they received it makes me proud. When I pass that compliment on to the employee and the rest of the staff it has a way of wiping out all the derogatory comments we hear all day long.
On a more personal level, when I see a stranger wearing a fabulous skirt or a date who smells great I let them know it. Short, sweet and to the point is all it takes to put a smile on someone elses face. It may be just the thing they need at that moment.
a compliment for you, Danielle
By Lissa Rankin on Monday, 07/19/2010 at 7:24 AMThis is so fucking fabulous!
Just had to say it.
:)
xoxo
I am so With you!
By Donna (not verified) on Monday, 07/19/2010 at 7:16 AMI love this! I think I will be putting it into action this week!
Excellent idea!
Donna
I love this!
By Suzanne Bouffard on Monday, 07/19/2010 at 3:50 AMI love this post! I love that you capture both how great it makes the person being complimented feel AND how it makes the complimenter feel. Actually giving the compliments out loud reminds us of how many positive thoughts we have all the time that, not only do we not share, we sometimes don't even realize we're having them and can draw energy from them.
I, too, try to compliment great customer service. A billing person at the hospital where I delivered my baby was so nice to me recently, and it struck me as so unusual, that it made my day. And I decided that maybe if I go out of my way to say thank you when those things happen, maybe they'll happen more!
Suzanne