Did you ever notice that some of the people that you are closest to can hurt your feelings the most?
And most of those people – if you’ve done a good job of cleaning up your Love Rings and taking a serious stand for self-respect – don’t mean to hurt your feelings.
But when that sensitive heart gets hurt – behind all that tough armor and protective walls – it doesn’t seem to matter whether they meant to hurt you or not.
So you lash out… whimper in silence… go passive aggressive… make up stories in your mind… distance yourself… all kinds of activities that lead you FARTHER FROM LOVE and FARTHER INTO FEAR.
Watch this self-love episode, hear what I do when my feelings get hurt and then try this self-love 3-step practice the next time your feelings get hurt so you can give yourself a super powered love healing!
Making sure you get the love you need is self love. Use these three branches of self-love to heal the hurt and make more love out of the situation.
Step 1: SELF-AWARENESS – See the truth and own your stuff. Ask yourself, “What is this situation triggering inside of me?” Take the other person out of the equation and really look at what this is telling you about you. Be honest. You have to own your stuff, and take responsibility for your love cracks. Even if you weren’t the one who created them, it’s your job to make sure you know them and heal them. Self-awareness and self-honesty is self-love.
Step 2: SELF-CARE – Take the charge out by giving yourself what you need. Ask yourself, What do I need to feel loved right now? And how can I give this to myself? Then give that to yourself. You have the power to give yourself what you need. And if you take responsibility for healing your love crack, it will be way easier to tell the other person how their actions affected you without creating more hurt, charge and disconnection.
Step 3: SELF EXPRESSION – Express to the person how their actions affected you without blaming them. Say to them “My feelings were really hurt when you said XXXX. I know you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, and I am OK. And what would be really helpful for me in the future is XXXXX.” Notice that you aren’t saying “YOU HURT MY FEELINGS!” which will just make the other person defensive. You are taking an act of self love by healing your love cracks and also by asking what you need from the other person.
Inspiration Catalyst, Transformational Speaker, Queen of Self-Love
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