Owning Pink Bloggers

Seek ways to express your creativity. It helps you see the world in a whole new way.

My Faith Is Beating The Crap Out Of My Fear

Lissa Rankin's picture

Faith Fear

As I explained here, I’m just got back from Harbin Hot Springs in Northern California, where I was on a spiritual pilgrimage of sorts after AstroTwin Ophira Edut told me that the stars had big stuff in store for me. At her suggestion, I decided to go on retreat on April 3, when six planets aligned into my house of endings -- a once-in-a-lifetime astrological event. My mission, should I choose to accept it, was to learn the life lesson I’m supposed to learn so I don’t have to carry into the next 12 years, the baggage from the last 12.

Ophi charged me with viewing the retreat as a sort of rebirth, and when she said that, I knew I had to schedule a session of Watsu (water Shiatsu, a type of bodywork that takes place in a pool of warm water, which was born at Harbin Hot Springs). I’ve had two Watsu sessions before, so I know how profoundly emotional these sessions can be. And I know how maternal, womb-like, and birth-ish it can feel.

My intuition told me it would be just the thing. So I did it. And oh, baby…was my gut spot on.

The Whole Thing Is A Stretch

First, let me explain so you understand the breadth of what I was signing myself up for. I first did Watsu five years ago, right in the midst of my Perfect Storm. I was newly postpartum with a freshly-healed C-section scar. My beloved father had just passed away. And on a lark, without a clue what I was signing up for, I decided to go to a spa and try Watsu.

I wound up puking.

You see, I have a tendency to get motion sick, and Watsu is a lot of swirling and twirling and spinning in the water with your eyes closed. (Although I loved the warm, loving embrace of it all, my inner ear was NOT a fan.) So I was a bit scarred the first time around. I wound up sobbing between dry heaves.

I waited four more years to try Watsu again, when I was at Harbin and a friend recommended I do a session with Nico (which I wrote about here). This time, I had a wonderful and profound experience that helped me heal lingering wounds from losing my father.

So this time, I went in eyes wide open -- but even so, Watsu is a stretch for me.

First off, you’re naked in a hot pool with a naked stranger (at least, that’s how it’s done at Harbin). And that naked stranger is holding you in a way that even your lover probably doesn’t hold you -- cradled like a baby while your legs stay buoyant from little floaties strapped on your ankles. So this stranger is twisting and turning you while stretching your back so your breasts bob up and down and your hoo-ha opens and closes like a water lily. Your cheek will brush against chest hair. Your bodies are so close that you start breathing in synchrony. Most people just haven’t been rocked since they were children, and the whole experience brings up any Mommy/Daddy issues you’ve ever had -- good and bad.

So, as you can imagine, shit comes up.

Then there’s the whole issue of water. As I wrote about here, I’ve always had an irrational fear of the water, especially for a girl who was lifeguard certified at 12 and grew up in California and Florida. Even though I live by the ocean, I rarely swim in it, and when I do, I never go underwater.

But Nico offers in his Watsu the addition of something called “WaterDance,” which requires going underwater and letting someone else be responsible for when you can take your next breath. So for someone with a phobia about being underwater, being dunked while your eyes are closed, and then being spun around until you have no clue which way is up is not only disorienting, it’s kind of terrifying.

Plus, the whole thing feels exceedingly vulnerable. Your body is at the mercy of someone else. And you’re exposed in every possible way. And the whole thing fails to flow if you’re stiff at all. You have to relax every single muscle or it really doesn’t work. So it’s a profound lesson in surrender.

All around, it’s a stretch.

The War Between My Faith & My Fear

But I had done this before and learned that something profound happens when you let the WaterDance happen. It’s truly a dance between your faith and your fear, and as I described here, my faith and my fear have been battling it out lately. So I figured I’d let them have at it on this astrologically important day.

So here’s how it went down.

I got naked. Nico refreshed me on how the WaterDance would work. (When the Watsu part was done, he would slip a nose plug on me, then he would tap me three times when it was time for me to hold my breath to go under, but we wouldn’t speak.) And then Nico cradled me in his arms, while I started to pray.

Please, God. Let this help me release all my shit. Let me ditch all the baggage I’ve been carrying for the past 12 years so I can enter the next 12 with a clean slate. Will you help me stop fighting and start trusting so I can just let go?

And as I prayed, my body tried to release, but I was still holding issues in my tissues. I focused on my breath. In….Out….In…Out…

And slowly, my muscles began to let go as Nico rocked me close to his chest and the constant chatter in my mind slowed down. As he snuggled me close in one dolphin move, I felt the tears come as I thought, “Daddy!” -- and then realized that no, this wasn’t my father, returned from the dead. This was just a kind man, holding me tenderly in his body-working arms.

At least, in the water, nobody can see your tears.

And then it was time for the WaterDance. I felt myself tighten, but Nico was sensitive and patient, and he waited until my breathing regulated again to give me the three taps that signaled it was time to go under.

The first time wasn’t so bad. If I stopped holding my muscles so tight, I could float underwater like a limp piece of seaweed, bobbing with the tide. The next one was easy too -- lovely, even. He held me by my feet so my head swayed around underwater like I was an anemone.  

But then, a few moves later, he wrapped me in a fetal ball, dunked me underwater, and spun me like a pair of socks in the rinse cycle. I felt disoriented, and I tried to open my eyes so I could see which was up, but that just made me feel more lost, so I squeezed my eyes together again, as the fear within me started to rise. I had felt this way before, as a young child, riding the waves in the ocean, when my boogie board flew out from under me. I had been bounced around by the waves, underwater, disoriented. I had breathed in salt water through my nose until my whole face stung. When I finally washed up on shore, sputtering and gasping, my mother held me close and told me it would all be okay. But it wasn’t. And I stayed away from the ocean for a year after that.

What if that was what was happening?

The next time I went under, my breath ran out when I was halfway through the move. My lungs ached. I didn’t think I had one second of air left. What was happening? Where was the surface? I started to panic. I almost threw my arms and legs out and pushed myself up. But I didn’t. I managed to hold my breath the five or ten seconds more until Nico brought me to the surface, where I gasped.

He cradled me. I cried. My rapid, shallow breathing slowed back down. And after a few more breaths, I went under again, this time, less long. I was able to face the rising fear. I told my Inner Gremlin that I could trust Nico. He wouldn’t let me get hurt. I know the fear is there to protect me. It’s meant to keep me from drowning. But this time, like most times, the fear is just being a beast. I’m not in danger.

I send the Gremlin to time out.

Then the Gremlin came back, when I found myself underwater again -- this time, even longer after I had run out of air. With no air left in my lungs, I faced The Gremlin and shouted, “Get out of here, you filthy devil. Stop walking through my mind with your dirty feet.” And just like that, Nico lifted me up, and I gasped once again, while he held me so close I could feel his chest hair tickle my lips.

By this time I was weeping, and I was mad at that damn Gremlin. I was determined to show that Gremlin who was in charge. And with every move, I surrendered more. I let go. I danced. I felt the fear and let it happen anyway. I trusted.

And then the WaterDance was over, and I felt warm loving arms around me, and my body was wrapped in a ball, while a scratchy beard pressed against my cheek. And I was being rocked, when suddenly, I had a vision that I was being held in the arms of Jesus Christ. And I felt so safe, and so loved, and so completely nurtured. And then a hand was over my heart, as I was floated once more. Safe. Weightless. Effortless. Ease.

It Doesn't Have To Be Hard

“It doesn’t have to be hard,” echoed through me. “It can be this easy.”

And then my feet were touching the floor of the pool and my back was up against the side. And hands were over my cheeks and then over my eyes, and the sunlight that had been streaming through my closed eyes suddenly went dark. And everything was still and quiet. And then Jesus gently lifted His hands off of my face, until only His fingertips were left. And I started crying again.

“No! Don’t leave me! I’m not ready.”

But the hands were gone. The strong arms were gone. I was all by myself in the corner of the pool, tears streaming down my wet cheeks.

And a voice within me said, “You are never alone. Abide in me. I am always here, even when you can’t feel me.”

And then the pool was still and silent, and after a few choked sobs, I opened my eyes, and the pool was empty.

Then, a few moments later, Nico appeared, and whispered, “Do you need to talk about what just happened? I know I left you under a little too long a few times there. But that was all part of the plan. If you need to talk, I’m here.”

But I shook my head, and he once more held me in his arms as we embraced in the pool, and then, looking remarkably like Jesus with his dark Mediterranean skin and long beard, Nico disappeared.

His words rung in my ears as I sat in meditation for a while.

I know I left you under a little too long a few times there. But that was all part of the plan.

Is that what’s been happening? Has God been intentionally leaving me gasping, scared, afraid I’ll run out of air?

Abide in me.

Is this what this whole thing is all about? Am I supposed to be surrendering even more? Going to the dark place and then trusting, instead of freaking out? Is this all part of the plan?

My Life Lesson

Is this what I’m supposed to learn so I don’t have to keep learning the same lessons over the next 12 years?

Trust me and surrender. Even when you feel scared and breathless, you will be okay, Lissa.

By golly, I think that’s it.

So Nico is gone now, and I am drying myself off. But something feels different.

I have to ask myself -- why was I so close to freaking out when I was under that water, feeling disoriented? I mean, I knew Nico wouldn’t let me get hurt. I know the pool was only four feet deep and I could always come up for air. Why was I so uncomfortable, even when I knew I was safe?

It’s like my life lately. I have great faith -- in God, in myself, in a Divine Plan grander than anything I could ever conjure up. So why do I start doubting and feeling afraid when I feel like I’m running out of air? Why can’t I just trust that when I start to feel short of breath, a breath of fresh air will infuse my lungs, and everything will work out right?

Is it lack of faith? No. I don’t think so.

I think I second guess where I am on the path. After all, when I’m on the right path, things usually go smoothly. It feels almost effortless. So when things get rocky, I start to wonder if I’m missing Signs from the Universe -- or if, in fact, the rocky part means I’m supposed to shift in a different direction.

I don’t doubt the Master Plan. I doubt myself.

Yet, what if challenging doesn’t mean wrong? What if, as Nico suggested, I know I left you under a little too long a few times there. But that was all part of the plan.

What if I’m being tested? What if it’s SUPPOSED to be this way so I can stand true to what I know is right? Because I know I am on the right path. And I know I will be safe and nurtured and loved, no matter what, if only I surrender.

And so I shall…

Will it last, this sense of Divine connection and surrender? I don’t know. But I’m going to hold my breath, go under, and do what I can to just have faith and let go.

What about you? Between your faith and your fear, who is winning?

Water dancing,
Lissa
 

Lissa Rankin, MD: Founder of OwningPink.com, Pink Medicine Woman coach, motivational speaker, and author of What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend and Encaustic Art: The Complete Guide To Creating Fine Art With Wax.

n/a

Comments

Liz's picture

Lissa, This is all VERY

Lissa, This is all VERY interesting. I have heard of water experiences before but never got such a juicy description. Another interesting thing is this past Thursday I went to a conference where there were some really great speakers. It was a conference put on by a local very progressive Christian church. The speakers all spoke about surrendering and allowing your authentic self to shine, and be true to you, so your path is well lit in front of you. Sometimes the path you see is scary as shit and you may be confronted by all sorts of fear and anxiety and vulnerabilities, but within this fear and vulnerability are your true gutsy instincts and soul reaching visions that will lead your way. I am, once again, amazed at how when I am authentically working on myself, there are so many parallels in the facets of my life and the things that either I seek, or seek me out. This is another example of that! xo!

Lissa Rankin's picture

air hugs

Thank you all for your support, and may you have peace and healing on all your personal journeys.

Air hugs to you all!
Lissa

n/a
Bettie's picture

Faith and Fear running neck and neck

I was diagnosed in December with ocular cancer. In January, I was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis(having all 3 markers). I am usually a very upbeat person, but there are times, here lately, I can't seem to find up or even get there.

If I didn't have my chart done, this would be even more difficult for me than it is. I realize there is a lesson in every direction and I am seeing this as my total rebirth, in so many ways.

Focusing on myself was never a front runner for me. It was necessary that I make sure everyone else was taken care of and if any time or energy was left, then me. Maybe, that comes from being the oldest child of four living with a single mother. Now I have NO choice but to focus on me and I am learning a lot.

I do know I will come out of this a totally different person. Parts of that new person are already starting to emerge and I am really liking her !

All positive thoughts and "air hugs" accepted !

Caroline deLisser's picture

faith

Thank you for the reminder, I was feeling a bit low today about all the major changes that the Earth and the world is going through right now. My private concerns seem so petty in comparison, yet I know that my best contribution to the collective is to clear my own karma and raise my own consciousness as you felt compelled to do, and I applaud you for that. I believe that faith is the key that takes us across the river of fear and illusion and delivers us to our higher selves, without faith I get lost and lose my power.

Caroline deLisser's picture

faith

Thank you for the reminder, I was feeling a bit low today about all the major changes that the Earth and the world is going through right now. My private concerns seem so petty in comparison, yet I know that my best contribution to the collective is to clear my own karma and raise my own consciousness as you felt compelled to do, and I applaud you for that. I believe that faith is the key that takes us across the river of fear and illusion and delivers us to our higher selves, without faith I get lost and lose my power.

Caroline deLisser's picture

faith

Thank you for the reminder, I was feeling a bit low today about all the major changes that the Earth and the world is going through right now. My private concerns seem so petty in comparison, yet I know that my best contribution to the collective is to clear my own karma and raise my own consciousness as you felt compelled to do, and I applaud you for that. I believe that faith is the key that takes us across the river of fear and illusion and delivers us to our higher selves, without faith I get lost and lose my power.

Dona's picture

Faith, yes faith!

Wow, I can totally relate, Lissa. My faith is beating out my fear, once again. It seems every time I am experiencing a time of trial, faith pulls me through. I sometimes feel that fear may win, but then I remember how faith has triumphed in the past, and I let myself rest in faith, and sure enough, it wins out! It can be a hard lesson, but I'm SO grateful that I have learned to trust in faith.

Lissa Rankin's picture

Bless you my friends

I've been away from the internet today and just returned to all your beautiful comments! Thank you so much for your support and witnessing and validation. May your faith beat the crap out of YOUR fear so you can skyrocket to the stratosphere with all of us cheering you on.
With great love
Lissa

n/a
Anonymous's picture

Letting Go

Hi Lissa, I've just read your blog and I'm so glad for you that your experience enabled you to face your fears and let go, trusting Jesus to take care of you. I'm struggling to let go of my fears and pain. I'm not sure that I can go naked into a pool with a stranger and have all of that happen to me, but I need to find a way to let go and let God. I'm really tired of struggling.

Lissa Rankin's picture

Bless you my friends

I've been away from the internet today and just returned to all your beautiful comments! Thank you so much for your support and witnessing and validation. May your faith beat the crap out of YOUR fear so you can skyrocket to the stratosphere with all of us cheering you on.
With great love
Lissa

n/a
Lindsay's picture

Brought me to tears!

Lissa,

I've read your blog & kept up with your on facebook on twitter for a while now, but this is my first time leaving a comment. This entire story that you shared just spoke to me so much-- it brought me to tears and made me feel like I just wanted to reach out to you and give you the biggest hug.

I'm so happy that you were able to experience something like this and take away from it something so huge. I can't thank you enough for sharing-- I needed to hear this today!

xo
Lindsay

Wildcherry's picture

I am shaking and feel utterly

I am shaking and feel utterly shaken up over reading about this surrender experience, darling Lissa. This will take quite a bit of digestion as I am still stuck in sheer admiration mode! My faith has taken a severe beating yet I feel, and sense, powerful forces of Good surrounding me in greater ways than ever before. Thank you for more spirit loaded fodder for my furiously flaming furies. I bow.

Colleen's picture

FAITHFAITHFAITH

I think I need a tattoo! Maybe then I will remember every day...it's really all we need to "do"....is to be faithful to ourselves and have Faith in Divine Love and purpose.....wonderful story...tears of understanding and imagining myself in my own pool of continual trust and release~~thank you Lissa!

Jill's picture

RE:My Faith Is Beating The Crap Out Of My Fear

Lissa, I loved reading this. You shared a very intimate part of your journey. It was beautiful. You also are funnier than perhaps you realize, because as beautiful of a story as this was, there were parts that made me laugh and I so needed to. Thank you

Lissa Rankin's picture

The Good Shepherd

Wow, Heidi. I've never heard that story. How moving! Thank you so much for sharing.

And yes, faith IS hard because there's no proof that you're right to just surrender everything to a higher power we feel but can't prove. As someone who likes to konw how things will turn out, giving in to the unknown is so challenging for me. But it keeps the mystery alive. And yes, getting your leg broken can make you stronger in all the right places...

Much love
Lissa

n/a
Heidi M.'s picture

Faith

Faith is hard. The "why me" and "what's the use" start popping up with no answers. Then come the "I can't"s. At the moment, my life mostly sucks. Today anyway. I'm doing well in school, but I'm out of cash with no prospects of getting any, out of transportation, so I don't know how I'm getting home from class tomorrow, my son is starting arguments over everything (and I, of course, am jumping on the bait). Your Waterdance sounded wonderful to me today, in spite of my confinement and trust issues.

While reading through your very emotional post, while you talked about being tested, it made me think of something I was told once. In a sermon, our priest asked if we really understood the concept of the Good Shepherd. Of course we all thought we did. Then he explained. In ancient times, shepherds were thought of as outcasts of society. Anyone who lived with animals wasn't really welcome in town. But they were devoted to their flocks. If a lamb wandered, it was searched for and brought back. If a lamb wandered too often, a good shepherd found the lamb, brought it back, and broke its leg. Not as a punishment. Not so it wouldn't wander. He broke its leg, so that during the healing process, the lamb would come to completely depend on and trust the shepherd. The lamb would bond with him so that when it was healed, it would not want to wander. Keeping that in mind, sometimes God breaks our leg so that we will depend on him and trust in him. That was a rare "aha" moment for me in my faith journey. Another was someone pointing out that while we all think we want to live on the mountain top, nothing actually grows on the mountain top. We need to spend time in the valleys for growth.

I guess what I'm taking an awfully long time trying to say is, faith is hard, but we can't be fully human without it. And we trip and we fall and we almost quit, but we don't. And that's what it's about, I guess.

Jill's picture

Faith and the Good Shepherd

Heidi that was a beautiful story. I would love to share that on my facebook page

Heidi M.'s picture

Thanks!

I would love to have that story passed on. I guess that's why I tell it every time I have an opportunity. When I heard it that day it was like a light was shined for the first time on a very dark place. Suddenly, everything made so much more sense. Please feel free to share it.

Lissa Rankin's picture

inspired

Oh Catherine, I'm so glad you went to the pool today! And thank you Joss...

We all must release in our own ways to make room for our faith. It's there. We just have to let go of that damn Gremlin of fear.

I just got back from doing a workshop with my friend SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy). She told a wonderful story about how she deals with her Gremlins (aka Inner Critics). She says they can't be reasoned with, so she just reassigns them. She sent a few to Haiti. Then to Japan. And the other day, her Gremlins were being so nasty, she walked up to a police office and said, "Sir, would you do me a favor?"

She then went on to explain how naughty her Gremlins were being and asked the officer to arrest them. He kindly agreed, and they ushered them into the squad car and he drove off with sirens blaring while she waved goodbye. Now they're locked up.

I guess that's what I did. I released my Gremlins into the water, and I left them there to clean up all the poo in their wake. They'll be busy for a while, and when they show back up (they will, pesky critters that they are), I think I'll have mine arrested too!

n/a
catherine's picture

Waterdancing

Thank you so much for telling us about your experience, Lissa. I loved reading about your retreat and how you were going do the work around letting go of stuff and keeping the other! Harbin Hot Springs sounds like a wonderful place.(I decided to go to the pool today in subsitute of the Hot Springs!!) This writing of your experience is incredible. It seems to me the the issue around our "fear vs. faith" is quite prevalent. I know it is with me. I believe my faith is winning! I have faith that all is working for our highest good.

xoxo

Joss's picture

Thank you for sharing this

Thank you for sharing this amazing experience with us and for your vulnerability during this and in your sharing. You are blessing many lives.
walk in beauty.

Lissa Rankin's picture

Dear Classic New Yorker

Sometimes words aren't necessary. Thank you for being here with me and witnessing my journey. I appreciate you, without words...
xoxo

n/a
Classic NYer's picture

I don't even know how to

I don't even know how to comment on this, but i feel like I'm a thief if i come through and read a profoundly moving post like this one and don't even leave a comment... In reality though I have no words. I'm speechless.

Dr. Susan Bernstein's picture

Woo hoo for Watsu

Sweet Lissa:

So often, what you write helps me to feel more normal. I used to freak out with Watsu, too. I dated a guy who was practicing to be a Watsu practitioner, and since I'm petite, all of his classmates wanted to float me. I was like a wet noodle, and often a freak-out wet noodle.

I had a similar event of surrender. I was terrified of gasping for breath. Yet in the arms of Grace (yes, that's her real name!) I found my own grace in the water. She was so patient and responsive that I was surprised how well she read my body cues. I didn't happen to find Jesus, but I found a deeper level of ease and well-being.

What you said about "Even when you feel scared and breathless, you will be okay, Lissa." wow - that resonates for me deeply. I'm saying that for myself. Thank you for today's mantra.

Om! : )

Love and hugs,
Susan

Lissa Rankin's picture

Thank you Anonymous & Angi

I'm so glad my story touched you.

Keep the faith, my friends!
Lissa

n/a
Michelle Medina's picture

Thank you Lissa!! I don't

Thank you Lissa!!
I don't know what I'm thanking you for yet, but I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out and though I've just come back from having a very serious cavity removed *no root canal thankfully*, I guarantee you that isn't it! Lol. I've been so frustrated lately with the buses running short of my house, which means I can't catch them, and the way I keep having to reschedule appointments and lean on others so much! Funny how it was easier to lean on near perfect strangers, isn't it??? Anyway, thank you for sharing as usual! I needed it even though I can't say exactly why just yet! I think I may have to try this sometime!

Angi's picture

Thank you

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! and congratulations on your rebirth!

Anonymous's picture

You are a messenger.

Thank you. I have been residing in too much Fear recently. I have felt obsessed with the News and trying to "figure it all out" and well, I KNOW where this gets me and I felt as though the Divine was speaking directly to me through your experience. Thank you for your courage and vulnerability. You are an Earth Angel.

Lissa Rankin's picture

Thank you all

I so appreciate you receiving this experience with such love. Yes, it was uncomfortable, but I feel incredibly grateful for having been able to have this experience....

Much love
Lissa

n/a
Erin's picture

Wow.

Wow, Lissa. Thank you so much for sharing this very intimate, personal experience. I'm at work, listening to my iPod/iPhone and "Dog Days Are Over" just came on. Seems fitting. Can you hear the horses? Cause here they come!

It's interesting how it sometimes takes an experience of discomfort to help us release big things, then find our way. I took a very intense 3 day quantum healing class two weekends ago and I was the only white person in the class. I was a little uncomfortable and off-balance, but by the end of it the love shared between all of us students was amazing. And in my "discomfort zone", some big, big things shifted for me and I walked out of there without the fear I used to have about being an alternative/energy healer. Those were fears and insecurities I'd been struggling with for years and suddenly they were gone! It was amazing. I had no idea that would happen when I walked into the class.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your story and congrats on taking big steps to release and prepare for your next amazing 12 years!

Kittie's picture

Wow!

Hey Lissa!
Wow girl! That really hit some things on the head for me. My fears have far been outweighing my faith lately. I was doing really well & then my own Gremlin took up residence in my cerebellum & I've been floundering for a bit. I know that God has a plan & that I was doing pretty well at finding my way with it, but then I got sick & got a bit derailed. Almost back to full healthy again, but my derailment hasn't gotten back online again. Actually my bootstraps are dangling & I don't seem to be able to reach them!

You can think that you are totally ready for change & you may well be, but making the actual change happen can be messy & scary. In fact, it can make you so fearful that you stop having proper forward motion & go into a kind of water treading stage. So I may not be having any watsu anytime soon, but I know that I need to break out of my stasis & get moving forward even if it's slowly. However, I can only say that you have a way with words & your words hit me where I needed it right now.

Your faith is as much a part of who you are as mine is due to our growing up years. I find myself wrestling with it regularly, but deep in my soul there is no doubt. It was a blessing you got such a clear message in your session & I only hope that my own steps towards some enlightenment will be as easy to see.
Blessings to you,
Kittie

Mandy's picture

Totally Understand

Although i have to admit the ritual that you performed does stretch my comfort level a bit. But reading the deeper meaning sure rings true for me.

We put ourselves in the position to learn and grow. Whether we like it or not. And it is always perfect and beyond our limited observation.

Its hard to believe that we can experience everything that we need to be perfect if we just allow ourselves to trust that everything out there and everything in here is the same....

No matter how bad it can get.

We are led almost by hand.

I applaud your commitment to understand your astrology reading. That in itself gave it the power to show you just what you needed. A hope one day my tarot card readings will succeed and i get customers just like you.

When you comment on an Owning Pink blog post, we invite you to be authentic and loving, to say what you feel, to hold sacred space so others feel heard, and to refrain from using hurtful or offensive language. Differing opinions are welcomed, but if you cannot express yourself in a respectful, caring manner, your comments will be deleted by the Owning Pink staff.