I’m having a bit of an identity crisis. Okay, I’m having a LOT of an identity crisis!

Here’s the skinny.

When I started Owning Pink in April of 2009, it was my personal blog about how I had lost my mojo and how I was committed to getting it back by being ALL ME, ALL THE TIME and letting the chips fall where they may.

The pink beginnings

For a month, I posted every day, and all the blog posts were written by yours truly. Then a reader wrote me an email about her own personal journey that was so compelling, I had to post it as Owning Pink’s first guest blog post. Within three months, Owning Pink no longer belonged to just me. We had twenty-something writers in our Blogger Posse, and Owning Pink was a community, a shift that thrilled me.

You see, I’ve never much liked to be the center of attention. There were only six guests at my wedding, because I didn’t even want to be gawked at while I walked down the aisle. So I love the idea of Owning Pink as a community site, a platform for writers, coaches, artists, therapists, and other people doing healing work in a variety of ways.

In fact, I love this idea so much that on the one year anniversary of Owning Pink, I pulled my own mug off the Owning Pink banner (those of you who have been with me from the get-go know that the home page used to have the avatar of me in my pink beanie, above!). I figured that if I pulled myself back and made room for others to show up, Owning Pink could belong to us all.

So we tried to make Owning Pink more….expansive.

A giant umbrella anyone would fit under. And the rock stars showed up. In addition to the posse of writers who have been with us from the beginning, we now have kick ass writers like Kris Carr, Danielle LaPorte, Chris Guillebeau, Marie Forleo, and more to come. My dream of attracting the kind of people who would offer expertise in a variety of mojo-inspiring areas is coming true. And I’m over-the-moon excited.

Sort of. Another part of me feels a little bit homeless on my own blog. Just recently, I longed for more space to flap my wings, more breathing room to be ALL ME, ALL THE TIME. I decided to start my own blog.

So I called my web guy and I told him I wanted to build a brand new site at LissaRankin.com, where I could have plenty of room to just be me, without eclipsing all the rock stars at Owning Pink who I want to spotlight. I could just be another one of the rock stars- on equal footing with everybody else.

He looked at me like I went bananas. “Uh, Lissa. Isn’t that what we did two years ago? Isn’t Owning Pink your blog?”

Um….kinda.

I sought the advice of business coaches, friends, Owning Pink staff members, and writers from the Blogger Posse. And the unanimous answer: OWN YOUR PLACE AT OWNING PINK, LISSA (you dingbat!). They told me to get my mug back up on the banner, plaster my name all over the website, and own the shit out of the fact that Owning Pink is my baby -- and I just happen to share it with many other bloggers.

I argued. I fussed. I had a hissy fit. I didn’t want to own it. I wanted to fragment myself- split off and start my own blog. I wanted Owning Pink to have a life of its own, bigger than just me. I wanted to believe that if I died tomorrow, Owning Pink would live on. I wanted to pull back so far that you might never even know who founded Owning Pink.

They laughed at me (with great love, of course).

Kris Carr said, “Lissa, why do you think we’re here? YOU.” 

Danielle LaPorte said, “You are Owning Pink, Lissa, just like I’m White Hot Truth and Kris Carr is Crazy Sexy Life.”

Dana Theus said, “You’re the Arianna Huffington of Owning Pink, Lissa. You can be the face of Owning Pink and still leave loads of room for everybody else to spread their message.”

My husband said, “Lissa, you’re Oprah. Check out her site. She’s all over the place, but she’s showcasing all kinds of other people, and her affiliation with them is what makes them hot.”

Being compared to Arianna Huffington or Oprah only made me shrink more. I literally hunched my shoulders over, bowed my head, and tried to make myself smaller.

Pink blogger Melanie Bates coached me through my identity crisis. After digging, then digging deeper, Melanie asked me what was at the root of my confusion about my place in Owning Pink. After many IM back-and-forths, she said, “Do you think perhaps you don’t feel worthy to lead something so big and powerful?”

And I started to cry.

Bingo, sister. I’m not worthy. I’m not big enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not powerful enough. I’m not enough. The negative affirmations flew through my mind like a stock market ticker.

I felt blind-sided. WHOA. Where did that come from? After all, I have a good head on my shoulders. I don’t lack for self-esteem, or do I? When she shined this light on me, I suddenly realized that the answer is that simple. I need to combat this limiting belief. I need to own my place at Owning Pink. I need to own my worth, my value, my contribution, my leadership, my power.

And so I am.

Someone once told me that Owning Pink would tell me what it wants to become, if only I’d get out of its way.

So here I go, stepping aside by stepping up to the plate.

You’ll be seeing some changes here at Owning Pink, as soon as my team can catch up with what we’re scheming. But the first thing you’ll notice is that I’m going to start owning my voice and owning my place here on my own blog. I’m going to outsource less and step into who I am, right here on the website I built. I’m going to put my picture back up in that banner and stop second guessing myself.

I’m going to own Owning Pink. I’m going to step up my writing and share my evolution in a new newsletter that I’ll write personally (so make sure you’re on the list if you want to keep in touch).

What do you think? Please give me feedback! Do you engage in limiting beliefs that hold you and your business back? Do you get in your own way? If so, please feel free to sign up for the Get Out Of Your Own Way free mini e-course (which I’m going to review myself, just as a reminder).

Here’s goes nothing!

Lissa

Lissa Rankin, MD: Founder of OwningPink.com, Change Catalyst coach, motivational speaker, and author of What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend and Encaustic Art: The Complete Guide To Creating Fine Art With Wax.