Okay, so the holidays are upon us. First of all, take a deep breath. Now take as your motto for this holiday season the same one I use in my coaching programs: “Live imperfectly with great delight.” That’s right, live imperfectly. During the holidays the intention is not to achieve perfection, but to achieve delight and really own your holiday experience.

Think of the holidays as a time when you want to string together many happy moments, first by creating the conditions for them, then by reducing stress so that you can savor them, and finally by helping you recognize and remember them after they’ve passed.

This way, at the end of the holidays, you will have many happy memories and you will be filled with a sense of great satisfaction.

So start now. Think about who you would like to be, what you would like to do and what you would like to have this holiday season. Now imagine it all going off smoothly. Most importantly, imagine that your days are filled with meaning and connection, and that you feel expansive and joyful.

Easier said than done? Not really!

If you are stuck thinking that it will be difficult to meet everyone’s needs, imagine, too, that you and those around you always find a creative solution to what has previously seemed like a problem.

(After all, whatever happens you will expend energy on each day of the holidays. You can either expend it having a stressful holiday, or you can expend it having a lovely holiday. My assumption is that you want a lovely holiday.)

Finally, imagine that, no matter what, you choose to feel happy. Happiness is a choice. It’s just that choosing to feel happy takes consistent practice. And feeling happy is largely predicated on focusing on what is going well in your life.

So—you want to know the best way to have a happy holiday? I promise you it doesn’t come down to the perfect present or roast turkey. It comes from focusing on appreciation for all the things that are going well, the moments that are right in front of you.

That said, I’ve put together here a few of my favorite strategies for seeing what’s right in front of you during the holiday season.

The Thankfulness Tree

Here are the materials you need: Construction paper in white and blue, pencill, scissors, string, bare tree branches about two to three feet long, vase for branches.

• Trace a star (or I can send you template—just request it). Once you have the template, use a pencil and outline the shape on the construction paper. Cut out as many shapes as you wish. If your children are very young, you may want to do this part ahead. Spread the stars across the table, and let everybody write the things for which they are thankful this year on the stars. Poke a small hole in each star, thread it with string, and hang it on the branches. Afterwards, save all the stars, either by gluing them into a scrapbook or stuffing them in Ziploc baggie marked with the year.

The Thankful Box

• Before the holiday, put a cardboard box with a slit cut out into the top on the kitchen counter. Place a pile of blank paper and pencil next to it. Leave this out for a few days or weeks and ask everybody in the household (from family to friends) to write down things they’re thankful for. Here are some possible prompts:
  • I'm grateful for…
  • My life would be dull if it weren't for…
  • The following people make my life richer…because they… (these could be people your personally know or people who simply inspire you)
  • I don't know what I'd do without…
  • I appreciate the following things about myself…
  • This year I've been blessed with…
• Read the notes out loud during or after the holiday meal, and guess who wrote what.

Activities like these make it easy for you to notice those special moments that are already right there in front of you. Live imperfectly with great delight, and really learn to own the holiday season by transforming it into a source of joy and gratitude (not stress). What are some of your tips for owning the holidays?