Owning Pink Bloggers

Chaos can be a catalyst for transformation. When life gets nutty, look for the growth opportunities.

Risk. Until You Puke.

Jennifer Boykin's picture

Life After Tampons

Today, I’d like to make a suggestion.

Risk.  Until You Puke!

Yes, you heard me correctly.  I know it sounds like a weird topic, but here’s how I came to this idea – it wasn’t entirely my fault, as you will see.

I’m letting you inside the panty drawer here and giving you a window into how I cultivate my creative genius. If you’d like to send cash for this tip, that would be welcomed.

At any rate, here’s how I come up with my AWESOMETASTIC blogging ideas.

I go about my daily life.

And I notice stuff.

That’s it.

All day long I’m noticing stuff to write about. Some of it is preposterous.  (That’s a great word, isn’t it?)  Some of it is too “Massengill disposable douche walking in the wildflowers” touchy feely stuff. (Those ideas almost never come across as authentically Jennifer, so I pitch them right away.)

And then other ideas – like puking – keep circling back until I give them voice.

On occasion, some ideas come back from multiple sources within a very short timeframe and I just KNOW that my Higher Power is sending me a sign.

So, today, my Higher Power wants me to tell you about risk. And puke.

First, that dumbass statement “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” came to mind. That’s utter phooey, by the way. LOTS of things can kill you (by “you” I mean your spirit) and leave you weaker. Believe me. I held my baby while she died. That’s a surefire and absolute strength killer.

Anyway, I was thinking about my resentment about that dumbass statement and then this came to mind:

“Whatever doesn’t make you PUKE, makes you stronger.” I was thinking about risk at the time, because I’m in the middle of the HUGEST risk ever – putting my dream to be an inspirer of souls and dreams out there in the universe for everyone to scoff at.

I’m doing it anyway.

It makes me want to puke.

Then, in preparation for SAID PUKE-INSTIGATING launch, I interviewed wordsmith promotional goddess, Alexandra Franzen. I asked her how she got (at the ripe old age of 27, mind you) the stones to charge $1000/day for her Velocity Power sessions. (She’s worth every damn penny, by the way.)

And she said that HER INSPIRATION came from her coach, Dyana Valentine. Here’s what she said about her meeting with Dyana:

“You talk to her about your vision for a project and then she ratchets your vision up about 3 levels until you want to PUKE from the risk.”

YES!!!!! The puke thing circled back.

So I knew it was a sign.

My Higher Power wants me to encourage you to risk until you puke.

Now, for safety reasons, it’s important to take a step back here. If you are recovering from an eating disorder, for example, PLEASE DO NOT take this suggestion literally.

What you can do, though, is think about your dream. Think about what scares you about your dream. Then, think about what would be even scarier than that thing.

Now that you have a vision of what is worse than scary, say you’re at “terrifying” on the risk-o-meter, think about what might send you running to the nearest padded cell as a consequence of taking action on your dream.

And THAT PLACE, that action item, that risk level, is going to be your ENTRY POINT for starting tasks toward your dream.

With respect to your Big Dream, there JUST ISN’T TIME to screw around anymore.

I’ll use myself as an example.

My dream is to be a nationally (internationally?) (galactically?) known kick-ass Midlife Revivalist.  I specialize in helping women who are ready to move past all excuses that spring from their obligations originating from their private parts (like men and children) and actually MAKE SOMETHING that is uniquely theirs.

I want to be the “go to” person on every MidLife Woman’s mind when she finally decides to take a turn in her own damn life!

Okay – first level of risk was to admit this to myself. I admitted this to myself 15 years ago when I wasn’t technically at midlife but knew I had a gift. But I LET FEAR paralyze me for SO LONG that I actually had to AGE UP my demographic!

Never mind that, because there’s no time for self-castigation.

My SECOND level of risk was to launch a blog a year ago and start writing the truth. This was riskier because it involved BEING SEEN doing my dream, (albeit only to my mother, my Aunt Susie, and 15 other dear friends and family members.)

My THIRD level of risk – this one is bigger – was to QUIT MY EFFING JOB and put my money where my vision was. This one was way riskier for three reasons:

  1. Cash
  2. Husband.
  3. Husband’s feelings about Cash.

And now I’m at a deeper level of risk. I’ve asked for help. From other game changers.  People like Corbett Barr (immense thank you), Jonathan Fields (genius!), and Barrie Davenport (love on the page.)  And now, I’m here with Lissa – how crazy is that?!

And the whole thing, the exposure of the dream, the risks I’ve already taken and have agreed to take in the near future, the help of this winning team of experts – this whole thing is such an EFFING GIFT that I can hardly believe that I’m actually here.

Truly, I’ve been dreaming about this since some time after I spent thirty-two minutes with my newborn daughter before they took her to the morgue.

It occurred to me a year or two later that recovering from my sorrow was so utterly impossibly HUGE that it had made me someone different. The death of my only daughter had transformed me into such a wickedly clear visionary and communicator about WHAT MATTERS MOST, and GRATITUDE, and STRENGTH that I absolutely HAD to teach other people to KEEP DIGGING, KEEP TRYING, until you reach the EXQUISITELY BEAUTIFUL prize within your adversities. 

It’s like the prize in the Cracker Jack, babes.  Don’t quit before the miracle.  (If you need help with actually doing that, you can register here for my 5-part eCourse, "Get Bitter. Or Get Better".)

You just gotta summon up your fear about that and BE WILLING to RISK UNTIL YOU PUKE!

Because that is the beautiful, oh so exquisitely beautiful gift that is calling to you from within all that baggage you are carrying.

If.

You.

Are.

Willing.

. . . to stop dreaming and start doing.

. . . to lay down the cloak of martyrdom and rise up untethered by your perceived limitations.

. . . to risk. until you puke.

Don't worry.  We're doing this thing together.  With respect to your biggest Big Dream - or even the next right one in front of you - what support do you need to move forward?  Let me know in the comments, and we'll work though those challenges together.

Love, Jennifer

Photo: Flickr, Lews57

Comments

nidhi's picture

hi i loved the article and

hi
i loved the article and feels so for me .
i am a very fearful girl..fearing so many thing in life ...so much so that i am lost...am unable to see myself and have no courage to try anything..there are many things but basically am here for the thing which is troubling me the most,which is am afraid of having sex and that is making my married life suffer a lot .. i have to go past my fear..but how ?

Lissa Rankin's picture

You had me at "glissade," Dyana

As a former ballerina, I now officially love you :)
xoxo

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Dyana Valentine's picture

it's on!

it's on!

Lissa Rankin's picture

Dyana, lovely to see you here

Your name keeps coming into my sphere, so HELLO!

Yes, Jennifer is awesome. So glad to have her and her fabulousness here!
Much love
Lissa

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Dyana Valentine's picture

Thanks, Dr. Fabulous. Amy A

Thanks, Dr. Fabulous. Amy A speaks so very highly of you. Glad to glissade past each other here. Enjoy.

Jennifer Boykin's picture

:)

Thank you both.

Dyana Valentine's picture

Temerity WINS!

LOVE this--and thank you kindly for including me via Alexandra's reflections. I keep it pukey myself--daily--I don't always tolerate pukiness well or elegantly, but I do find it to be an exceptional tool for excellence.

Jennifer Boykin's picture

I'm not sure puking elegantly matters.

But I love that you "keep it pukey." Thanks for the inspiration, love! Jen

michele's picture

Thank you, Jennifer!

Thank you for posting this. I needed to read it tonight. I've pretty much decided to put my life-long dream of medical school this year on hold because I feel that I need to go be with my daughter now. My husband threw me out of the house nearly two years ago. I saw a level of cruelty I would have never imagined. The bottom line is that I lost my four children and almost everything else as I was sent to my parents' house like a toy he was finished with. I've worked long and hard to put my life back together - I even regained my relationship with my older daughter! I hadn't seen the younger three children until last weekend at my son's high school graduation. I realized that no matter what I had been told, these children love and miss me, no matter what we had each been led to believe about the other. Leaving them after graduation, especially seeing how stricken my youngest, my 15 yr old girl, looked was the hardest thing I've ever done.

But on the way home a little voice whispered to me, "You don't HAVE to leave them ever again! You are strong now; you can face their father now and be there for them." So I feel like I'm meant to move far àway to their town where I known no one, find a job, find a place to live, whatever I have to do to try to help heal my daughter and overcome her distrust of me, basically give up my now-comfortable life here and my med school application. I have no details at all worked out yet, and that sick, puking feeling of fear when I'm not careful, but stronger than that is the feeling of love and strength and the ability to gain back the world. Thank you for letting me share. :)

Jennifer Boykin's picture

Thank you, Michele.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Be good to yourself. Jen

Lissa Rankin's picture

I love it Dianne

What an exciting time! And wow- six kids and 23 years of homeschooling? You deserve a gold medal!

Way to go heading out on a journey. Pick up a copy of the Bad Girl's Guide To The Open Road (you'll pee your pants!)

http://www.amazon.com/The-Girls-Guide-Open-Road/dp/0811821706

Have a WONDERFUL TIME and be sure to report back!

And yes, isn't Jennifer the bomb?
Love to you all
Lissa

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Dianne's picture

Ah, the sweet synchronicity

Ah, the sweet synchronicity of clicking the link to this blog tonight - the night before departing for Albuquerque to fulfill my final obligation as resident-track-mom and cheerleader for my 18 year old pole vaulting son. Then he's off to a summer job in North Dakota - 'eat, sleep, work and make money for college'. Great way to keep him outta trouble!

And then (drumroll please!) the excitement really begins 'cause I'm taking off for, I don't know where exactly, all by myself, in my cute Malibu to re-discover myself. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!

Thirty-two years ago I began my motherhood career and ended up with six kids who captured my full-time attention. Hey, I didn't think being the perfect mommy was enough so I also took on being the perfect home school teacher as well (23 years worth).

Burnout arrived about 7 or 8 years ago but never mind that - I kept going anyway. Very dangerous thing to do. Now I'm thinking running away sounds like a great idea. Ok, well not really. I cannot abandon my only daughter - we only have three more precious years together before she's off to college and life and whatever. But I am leaving for a week with no agenda, no plan, no obligations except to myself.

Your post is hitting me at exactly the perfect time. I LOVE IT!!!! I am printing the entire "Risk. Until you Puke" because I might just need to read it a dozen times or more while on the road to re-discovering me. I just love your no-nonsense writing style - no bullshit, all aimed right at me just when I needed a swift kick and loving prodding to jump into action. You are AWESOME Jennifer :-)

Much love,
Dianne

Jennifer Boykin's picture

Envy!!!

As I sit here on my couch watching True Crime and catching off on stuff, I think of you on the open road and all I can think is "RUUUUUUN Forrest, run!!!" Have a great time, love. We're all enjoying your trip vicariously!!! Jen

Dianne's picture

Pause for Pickles

Ok, today is my launch day! I returned to AZ following my sons pole-vaulting event this weekend very late and finally got to sleep @ 3am! The sunlight woke me @ 7:30am and I was up and packing for my road trip. Funny thing is I found myself RACING around the house tending to last minute details. While peering into the refrigerator for breakfast inspiration, I noticed that I had neglected to make pickles with the baby English cukes I had purchased several days before and just couldn't see letting them go to waste when I left. So I decided to make pickles! It's an easy, overnight-in-the-fridge recipe and I was RACING around the kitchen cutting onions, garlic and dill when I caught myself and STOPPED! What's your hurry Dianne? Instantly I remembered my 30 minute yoga practice from the previous day in my hotel room. With each inhale I had said, "I have..." and with each exhale I continued, ". . . more that enough time." I must have said that mantra a hundred times! So I paused, forced myself to be in the moment and realize that I have more than enough time. I have more than enough time to re-discover myself. More than enough time to become all that I can be. More than enough time to use my gifts and talents to help make the world a better place.

Lest you think that making the cukes into pickles was an entirely selfless act intended only for my 20 yr. old son who is back home from college for a summer job fighting fires with the Forest Service, think again! I'm packing a cooler and taking one of the jars with me. In 4 or 5 hours they should taste just perfect.

Perhaps eating them will take me back to the days before children when I was pregnant with my first baby. I craved pickles SOOO intensely! And I gave in to that craving and ate pickles with reckless abandon. Maybe that jar of pickles will serve as a constant reminder to surrender to whatever inner cravings surface while I'm on the road :-)

Well, I guess it's time to get on the road again!
Love to all!
Dianne

Jennifer Boykin's picture

OMG, I ADORE you, Dianne!

I loved that you took a pickle pause. After all, pickles are essential to every woman's midlife makeover. You are the FUNNEST woman EVER!!!! Enjoy your beautiful pickly vacation. Love, Jennifer

K8's picture

Thankyou!

Loved your article. It has inspired me to keep going, I've risked a lot to be where I am. Im not going to quit before the finishing line even tho sometimes I feel so fatigued.
Thanks again!

Jennifer Boykin's picture

Don't Quit Before the Miracle!!!

Let us know how it's working out! Love, Jen

Kayla's picture

Stop. Reading. My. Mind.

It's getting creepy :)
But in all seriousness, while you're shaking and doubting yourself and freaking out and praying that you won't have to end up living in a cardboard box (and if you do, a nice refridgerator corrugated one from Sears or something...), there is a certain sense of calm that comes over to.
Because as hard and scary as it is to do it, part of you knows what you're doing is right. :)

Thanks for the article. It came exactly when I needed it.

Jennifer Boykin's picture

That box

The first thing I do when I get in my fridge box is hang curtains. Go you!!!!!!!!!

Kayla's picture

Stop. Reading. My. Mind.

It's getting creepy :)
But in all seriousness, while you're shaking and doubting yourself and freaking out and praying that you won't have to end up living in a cardboard box (and if you do, a nice refridgerator corrugated one from Sears or something...), there is a certain sense of calm that comes over to.
Because as hard and scary as it is to do it, part of you knows what you're doing is right. :)

Thanks for the article. It came exactly when I needed it.

Patti's picture

Your story has me thinking.

Your story has me thinking. I held my daughter as she passed away as well and my foster son. My oldest son has become and alcoholic and drug addict my youngest is a type one diabetic. Not only have I lost my dreams they are so buried I know longer even remember what they once where. Nothing better I would love then to have something to become me again. Who ever that may be. Instead I sit here crying but still cheering those on who find it within to risk it and realize their dreams. I am not feeling sorry for myself just lost.

Jennifer Boykin's picture

Gentleness works, too.

Dearest beautiful Patti,

I am so sorry for the losses in your life. It is indeed unfair. Too much. I honor that you are still holding hope in your heart. You still read things that are good for you, for example. You still take a moment to write. You still have the capacity to cheer for others. And you still honor your own beautiful process.

If you can, try not to expect the world from yourself. You know, we can reframe what "dreams" look like. We can scale it all so that it is "doable" to begin the walk home to yourself. For example, tomorrow your "dream" might be take a bubble bath. Or, buy yourself one flower. When I have felt at my lowest, my teachers taught me the value of beginning right where I was. Also, I don't know if you are familiar with support groups for families of addicts, but you might check out Al-Anon in your local area. Begin very small. Don't expect too much of yourself. 5 minutes of fresh air. WIN!!!! One cupcake. SCORE!!!! One big toe painted -- EUREKA!!!

You see what I mean. We make failure impossible. Then, slowly, slowly, slowly -- we "connect the dots" from one small act of hope to another. Also, don't forget to stay in touch with your medical providers. These kinds of losses can trigger all kinds of actual physical changes.

I'm pulling for you, love. Truly. Jen

John Carosella's picture

Puke - Happens right before death...

Your post is fantastic. I often look closely at what a purge actually does. It's like it takes a part of me that is empty and dead and inert(ish) and gets it OUT OF THE WAY. Leaving a fresher, cleaner, more open self available to the world.

It's like it makes me younger. (hmmm...I should probably do it more often.)

Risking until you puke might be kind of like allowing yourself the opportunity to die, just a little bit (or, maybe a lot) to the person you were before.

Thanks so much for sharing.

Jennifer Boykin's picture

Oh, my!!!

Yes, John. EXACTLY. It's is dying to self and being born into eternal. It's getting in that sweet spot where you're out of your own way, living in your vision, and being of MASSIVE help to the universe. Because you're doing that thing only YOU can do. What a love you are for writing!!! J

Lissa Rankin's picture

Ha! Forget ME on Oprah...

Let's get YOU on Oprah and then you can bring me along to feed you peanuts!

Okay, seriously now...back to book edits!
Love you
Lissa

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Lissa Rankin's picture

we are blessed to be touched by your Grace

I'm sitting here researching happiness and coping styles for my book rewrites, and I just read about what you're describing here. Happy people find meaning and purpose in even life's greatest tragedies, as you have done with your tragic loss. What an inspiration, what a blessing you are...

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Jennifer Boykin's picture

Oh, good. Put MEEEEE in your book!

Ha!!! I can be in the chapter called, People Who Triumph (Hint -- It's a Choice, girlfriend!) And when you're, like, on the Today show, I can "come with" as a human example of what you're talking about.

And then Oprah's people will find me, and somebody will ask MEEEE to write a book. And they'll give me $5 for happy meals to eat while I do it.

Maybe I need to work on expanding my vision, just a bit. That's what Jonathan advises, anyway.

Okay, love. Back to work.

Lissa Rankin's picture

Grace

Oh Jennifer, I'm so sorry you were the med student lab of the day. I remember those... where is the heart?

And yes, that's part of what I'm here to do- shine a light on the humanity we've lost in medicine and the need to reclaim medicine's sacred heart. Thank you for your beautiful roar and for holding space for all the lovely people here at Owning Pink.

With love and grrrrrr
Lissa

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Jennifer Boykin's picture

All is as it was meant to be.

Thank you, love.

You know, I think it all had to be so outrageously egregious, that I couldn't help but be transformed. And now, we survivors -- we spiritual load-bearers can be the standard-bearers for others who find their own tragedies just unbelievably "unbearable."

Personally, I know that my spiritual scar tissue is a place of extreme strength, now love. And you are absolutely right that we can hold space for the women coming along who need the shelter of our strength to provide the protective space to do their own work. You can't know how unbelievably grateful I am to see the healing that is possible because of my 32 minutes of Grace.

When she died, I was telling my friend Don that I felt so sad because she was just a newborn and no one would ever know her. And HE, in his wisdom said this:

"Jennifer, don't you see? Grace's eternity is that YOUR life was touched by Grace. And from this moment forward, everyone you meet, ever life you touch, will be transformed because YOUR LIFE was touched by Grace. Grace LIVES ON, Jennifer, through you."

And so it is.

What an amazing daughter I had, Lissa. Maybe she would have been an ornery rabble-rouser like you. I certainly hope so, love.

Jeanie Witcraft's picture

<3

This made me teary, shivery, and it's absolutely true. Your friend is very wise. And you are a strong and gracious woman.

*hugs from a stranger*

Sharon's picture

Today, a rare Saturday with

Today, a rare Saturday with absolutely nothing on the calendar. Painting, creating, doodling and journaling in my Art Journal as I glance at Facebook and get inspired by posts/links. I'm enjoying this break as I needed a little de-stressing from this past week at work, and in preparation for the even busier week coming up (while at the same time feeling a bit guilty over the "things" that need to get done, or should I be downstairs spending some time with the hubs, etc?). When a dear friend's link brings me to your post and I am blown away! I go to your eRetreat link, your blog and FB page and lose myself in all you are about and offer. And I need it! My problem is I don't even really know what my big dream is that I want to take the risk on! So thank you for this and what may lie ahead for me.

Jennifer Boykin's picture

Hi, Sharon

Hello, beautiful Sharon. I loved your message and I got so beautifully relaxed thinking of you just there resting into a beautiful art space. By the way, you don't have to have any clarity at all to get where you want to be. You just start with what you love and connect that to another thing you love and just pay attention as you move forward.

Next week, I'm launching a REALLY cool workshop that might help. If you signed up over at my blog, you'll get an announcement. Enjoy your beautiful day. Love, Jen

Sarah O&#039;Leary's picture

Feeling Pukey

This comes at just the right time on so many levels. Jumping out with my bare butt showing to the world. Puke!

Wondering if I"ll end up homeless. Puke! (As long as i can get my laptop to work in my car or my tree stump, maybe I'd be ok)

Risk! Something I've spent most of my life avoiding and now at midlife it's staring me in the face. And saying Jump you idiot! If not now, then when?

Jennifer, you just ramped it all up a notch. Thanks for telling it like it is.

Jennifer Boykin's picture

We're puking it up together, beautiful Sarah.

Have you read The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein? Your "stump" reference made me think of it. Anyway, here's the thing, love -- there is a movement for women underfoot. Everywhere you look -- IT YOU LOOK -- you will see groups of women joining together in honor of this growth thing that we are doing. You find it here at Lissa's amazing space. We have a bunch of it going on over at Life After Tampons.

We're all taking that leap with you, love. Truly.

Ken Jaques's picture

Bravo

Bravo Jennifer for writing this. I don't think you're only going to have 15 followers for very long if you keep writing and practicing this type of magic. Your words are so authentic, and you can actually "feel" into your story as you read this.

So many people are in the process of waking up, and many of them just need to get that last little nudge. Every person that you touch with this blog, with every conversation that you have, is helping make a massive difference, not only for them but for you too.

I think a lot of our stories are similar. Every time we think about that next step (writing the first blog, talking to the first peron outside of our "safe circle"), it feels a little bit intimidating (sometimes a lot intimidating and then comes the urge to PUKE :) ) at first and we risk getting in our own way. But after we do it, we virtually always look back and say "hey that wasn't so bad."

Trust and know that you're in a good spot and there's always someone that "gets you" and believes in you. And keep taking those steps. As Lao Tzu states so well "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." Keep sharing your stories and your dreams, you're going to make a big difference.

Now let me go share this story with many other people that need to hear it. Won't you all do the same? Isn't that the type of thing that makes OwningPink a great community to be part of (thanks Lissa and all members)?

Chers, Ken

Jennifer Boykin's picture

Well, aren't you a love, Ken!!!

Hey, love, you do wonders for my ego. Thank you for your many kindnesses. Jen

Allison Crow's picture

Cash. Husband. How Husband Feels About Cash <--AMEN

Um totally. This is the biggest puke factor for me. And then I realized that he chose this risk taker...fully KNOWING that I was. And yes, when I leap-- he closes his eyes and I'm pretty sure we BOTH puke...and it ALWAYS turns out PERFECT!

Love,
Allison

Jennifer Boykin's picture

Allison, you make me smile!

My husband will LOVE your comment. He's out right now doing the shopping and such. We were just out on the motorcycle and then at a museum in DC and he was like, "after you write your book and we're all rich and stuff, I'm gonna buy one of ...."

Love it!!!

Jen

Lissa Rankin's picture

Regularly nauseous

Jennifer,
I just love you to pieces!

Okay- a few thoughts.

First, I've been involved in nausea-inducing risk-taking since quitting my job as a stable, secure doctor five years ago but I've really ramped it up a notch since March of last year. In fact, as I work on the edits of my book Mind Over Medicine, I pretty much feel nauseous all the time, as in "Oh. My. Fucking. God. ('scuse the obscenities), am I REALLY going to put this book out in the world and then get up on stage and talk about it?" I'm pretty sure my colleagues are going to burn me at the stake AND I'm doing it anyway.

Then there's my personal life. SHEESH. Talk about puke-inducing these days! Like LITERALLY I vomited from the risk I took with someone I care about this week. No regrets, except that I shouldn't have eaten that burrito first...

Turns out I'm not alone. I just finished interviewing dozens of AMAZEBALLS visionaries for the mentoring program I just launched, and when I accepted the beautiful souls I chose, most of them expressed some version of wanting to puke. Funny thing is...I realized this was a good sign.

So your post comes at the perfect time.

Bless you for doing what you it is you do and allowing us all to witness your beautiful puke-inducing, awe-inspring, challenging, SUPER BRAVE process.

I'm so proud of you, my love.

Hugs and baby wipes to clean up the mess,
Lissa

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Bozo Dubeau's picture

No need to puke

Doc,

Other people's stuff is not yours. When my mentor's wife, Alyce, finished massage school, she would take on her clients' stuff. She was Reiki "when Reiki wasn't cool." With theta healing and private teachings, she has learned to let stuff flow through her AND OUT.

I think she is your Facebook friend. I encourage your students to Friend her (Alyce Payne).

Bozo

Jennifer Boykin's picture

Miss Lissa, You're the Best!

When I was reading your note, I couldn't help but think back to the day that Grace was born and wish you had been there with your brand of medicine. You couldn't have saved her. But your "whole woman" approach to medicine would have gone a long way to helping me.

I found my way on my own, because fortunately, I found my BEAUTIFUL ROAR!!!!

But I often think of the women who don't get pissed, but get broken instead.

One example -- they used my pre-term delivery crisis as a teaching moment for med student after med student. All coming in with their clipboards and asking me when my last period was. They all knew that she was coming, they all knew that she would die.

I didn't know these things, of course. I didn't figure out until later that I was the "med student lab for the day." (It got worse as the day went on, by the way. If you ever want to hear about D&C's without anesthesia, breast milk coming in on baby's funeral day, and such like that there, let me know.)

Someone with your credentials needs to point this crap out. I'm glad you're our champion.

Love, Jen

Lynn Hess's picture

Damn Straight!

"With respect to your Big Dream, there JUST ISN’T TIME to screw around anymore."

Hell yeah!

And the older I get, the more acutely I feel this. What have I been waiting for? It's never going to be easier than it is right now! As the kids are saying these days: YOLO.

I love manifesto-type calls to action that wake me up and make me want to flip the bird at the conventional bullshit asleepness that too many people settle for -- and this one is fierce! I love it!

Inspiring, tough, and funny -- my favorite kind of writing. Thanks, Jenny!

Jennifer Boykin's picture

Fierce right back at you!

Well, aren't you just amazing!!!!! I'll tell you what, Miss Lynn: We can take turns kicking each other in the ass!

Lynn Hess's picture

Whoops, sorry, Jennifer.

Whoops, sorry, Jennifer. Don't know why I shortened it. Sorry!

Jennifer Boykin's picture

We're all just sputtering along, love.

Sherry's picture

omgosh. this is so effing

omgosh. this is so effing real. amazing. you put into words my life over the last 3 years. and it's when really bad stuff happened: lumpectomy, lost home, lost business, lost my identity, and somehow came through--that I knew I couldn't waste everything I learned. I'm not puking...but gosh darn-it if I haven't come close. and still occasionally do (at least once a week). thanks for putting it so...good.

Jennifer Boykin's picture

That "bad stuff" you mention --

-- sort of the Big Burn that clears the field so new stuff can grow in. Yep, I know that experience well. But here's the thing, Sweet Pea, you are so not alone. Nope. We're doing it together, right this very moment, in fact. Love, Jen

Ellen Berg's picture

Holy YES, to all of this.

Holy YES, to all of this. The best things in life come on that crazy edge where you've got a lingering drop or two of puke in the corners of your mouth and you're pushing forward anyway. If I were to start a spiritual movement around living your best life, THIS would be one of the sermons. Awesomesauce!

Jennifer Boykin's picture

Someone say, "Amen!" beautiful Ellen!!!

So happy to be in the congregation with you!!! For sure. For sure!!!! I saw that you made it over to our LAT site, too, Ellen. Welcome. Happy to be knowing you. Love, Jen

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