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Roundtable: How To Bring Mojo To Thanksgiving

Anonymous's picture

We know that sometimes the holidays are anything but jolly, but we believe you can get your mojo on, stay grounded, and actually enjoy the festivities. Thanksgiving is first up this week - check out what Owning Pink has to say about rocking your mojo through turkey day!

The Question: What? Thanksgiving already? How do you stay sane and possibly even - gasp - enjoy the holiday season?

Lissa says: Thanksgiving is my favorite of all the holidays because it’s all about family, gratitude, and yummy food! I’m blessed to have the greatest family in the world, but even so, getting us all together can lead to drama. So how do you navigate the drama with ease so you can enjoy binging on pumpkin pie and turkey legs? A few tips:

  1. Remember that you can only control your own actions. You may not keep Aunt Gertrude from taking a dig at you for not being married yet. But you’re in charge of how much you let it get to you.
  2. Release expectations about what a perfect holiday is supposed to look like and allow it to be what it actually is.
  3. Ditch the masks you may wear when your family is around and your anxiety is heightened. Just be yourself, which is exactly perfect.
  4. Thanksgiving is about being thankful. If things get sticky, focus on the blessings in your life.

Dana says: Ironically, what made my holidays less-than-enjoyable as a child makes them a total delight as an adult. Family is truly everything. When I stop to remember that the quality of feeling I share with my close family and friends is what it’s all about, the rest of the “lists and to-do’s” tend to drop away and all that’s left is joy. I love the spirit of giving that permeates our culture too, but since I strive to maintain my Santa-ness all year long, the holidays are less about that for me now. (But maybe not for my kids.)

stretch pants!Lauren says: I think the key to rocking your mojo on Thanksgiving lies in one key concept -- do it YOUR way. Ok, so maybe Grandma not-so-subtly asks if you've found Jesus yet. Or maybe your sister insists on the same nine-dish meal every year, despite including only one vegetarian item that you can actually consume. Deep breaths. Own the parts of the gathering that don't drive you nuts and let go of everything else (Grandma means well, and everyone can back off your green beans!). Better yet, plan a T-day do-over with your friends on the weekend (I'm having one Saturday - we're making tacos, and yes you're invited). Thanksgiving is about gratitude, and sometimes we gotta own that we're super grateful... that Thanksgiving only happens once a year. Oh, and wear stretch pants. Can I be grateful for stretch pants?

Megan says: Funny you should ask! A friend and I have created a virtual retreat around staying sane during the holiday season. I wouldn't approach the holidays much different then I do any other day of the week -- with intention. However, the holidays do call for a bit of a stronger dose. I think getting clear on the intention you want to set for the season -- like, love, fun, creative play, clear communication, etc. -- provides space for fun things to show up. I would go so far as to get an object that symbolizes my intention and carry it around with me to stay present during these crazy times.

National Lampoon Christmas VacationMelanie says: The key to retaining my loosening grip on sanity during the holidays lies in not trying to attain perfection. My own feeble attempt at a holiday utopia tumbled down around me one year when I tried to make my table gleam like a Martha Stewart Thanksgiving set and my older brother came in, sat his sweating Milwaukee's Best can on my pristine tablecloth, and scooped out a dollop of the mashed potatoes with his index finger. I've simply accepted that I come from a family very akin to the Griswolds of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation fame and there's no sense in trying to be a Martha when you're really a Clark W. Griswold.

Happy holidays, Pinkies!

Comments

 Trish Rankin's picture

No, I don't think so. It is

No, I don't think so. It is all we can do to complete the old ones. We also make small place cards and everyone writes on the one to their right, telling that person why they are so thankful for them. At night we pick one video that the whole family can sit down and watch together. We watch the parade in the AM and play a family game also- sometimes Apples to Apples, so the kids can all participate, mimicking the competitions the Indians and Pilgrims did. But this year I sang in a community Thanksgiving service. It was very special.

Heather Sobieralski's picture

Wine, and lots of it!

You may think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I have found that lots of red wine for all involved makes the pressured and chaotic holiday season much better!

Heather Sobieralski

My Mama Mojo

Life Coach for Moms

Deb Goeschel's picture

Hee, hee! Yes, it does help.

I agree with you -- a bit of red wine does help ease everyone's anxiety and promote relaxation. It's a tried and true method at our family gathering, for sure. And as I'm the "Auntie" that travels down to CT to see the family, I'm usually the one bringing the non-perishable, easily-travels bottles of wine. :)

Deb Goeschel

Lauren Nagel's picture

Ha, i hear that.

Ok, I'm grateful for red wine AND stretch pants. Thanks Heather!

Deb's picture

I taught my Yoga class last

I taught my Yoga class last night about surviving the holiday visits -- they're often love-filled, but often also trigger old "stuff". My suggestion was to first and foremost, with love and compassion, stop the inner critic. I know i'm not the only one who holds herself to crazy expectations (some instilled long ago from those well-meaning family members), and when I don't meet them, my self-judge comes out and condemns! (Uh oh! No pumpkin pie for you!) So, as I was suggesting to my students to release their inner-critics, inner-judges, and inner meanies and replace them all by stopping and remembering the true Self that lies within our hearts, I had to realize that this must also be MY practice during the holidays! Sanity starts with ME. And if I can find some peace, compassion and equanimity, I'm sure that'll spillover to my family as well.

Thanks for all the helpful thoughts!

With gratitude, Namaste.

Lauren Nagel's picture

Thanks, Deb!

Oh that inner critic is a doozy, isn't she? I think you gave your students wonderful advice, and I love that you realized how you have to actually take your own advice too! (I am quite good at showering my friends with wisdom that I rarely apply to myself. Silly, isn't it?) The fact that you were teaching a Yoga class reminded me of another way to survive the season - get into your body! Connect with what it physically feels like to be free from inner judgment - I feel it in my chest, a lightening with each breath. Sometimes when we find ourselves in the throws of mental battle, having a physical touchstone serves as a great reminder of our intentions to be free from the muckity muck of cerebral noise. Deep breaths. Sanity does start from within!

Big hugs,
Lauren

 Trish Rankin's picture

Thanksgiving

Such good advice. I plan ahead, writing up lists and do as much ahead as I can. Today I made the homemade applesauce and the broccoli cheese soup for the night before, did the cleaning and moved tables. I'll do the pies tomorrow. If you do simple tasks ahead you can do them after work without wearing yourself out. Our family often splits up the tasks: Malen (age 8) set the table( with some guidance from Nana) last year, niece Jana made some veggies, daughter-in-law Kim did the potatoes, Chris-son did the turkey and Trudy, sister-in-law did the salad. That may not be quite right but you get the idea. Then we take a long walk after dinner and the men clean up afterwards. So nice of them. Traditions are wonderful and I love keeping them but I learned we don't have to if it doesn't work out or is too exhausting. Give yourself permission to not do some things if you get too tired. Mrs. Smith makes a great pumpkin pie if you don't have time. Just hide the box and have fun! That is key. Lower expectations and enjoy the time together. That is the joy of Thanksgiving. We also stop and do a family Gratitude service, with everyone participating. ThanksLiving on Thanksgivin:
much more important than the pies.

Lauren Nagel's picture

Trish, your traditions sound

Trish, your traditions sound so lovely - I especially like taking a long walk after dinner! I like to honor old traditions and set new ones every year too. Do you think you'll start any new rituals this year?

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