I was recently having an exchange with a friend who mentioned that she was a little “freaked out” by my use of “sweetie” when interacting with my Facebook fans. She thought I had changed. She didn’t know “who this Laurie was.” My immediate reaction was that I had not changed. I simply thought she had never seen this side of me before.

Of course, she hadn’t. Yet, I realized that while my sweetie side had always been there, I rarely showed it in my twenties when we first met. I then realized that I had changed. Just maybe not in the way she meant. 

What had changed was that I was now allowing myself to let my softer "sweetie" side fly. It was no longer stifling my inner cynic. WOW! What a realization. But when the heck did that happen? 

I realized that somewhere along my wellness journey I lost my cynicism. Oh, it shows itself when the topics of global warming or universal health care are raised, but seriously, in the day to day, my cynic is quiet. I should note here that I used to be a lawyer where cynicism is a job requirement. I was trained to plan for every worse case scenario and avoid risk and distrust everyone. But that chick seems to have left the building.

Cynicism and Your Health

A cynic, who is a close relation to the gremlin, is a real party-pooper. Unlike the gremlin, who beats up on you, the cynic beats up on the world. That doesn’t make the world a very fun place to be. And when your cynic teams up with your gremlin -- watch out -- there is nothing you can do. Yuck!

As I contemplated all of this, I wondered if there was a connection to my AWOL cynic and my improving health. So I did what any of us would do -- I Googled it. Sure enough, kicking your cynic to the curb and cultivating your optimist is an act of radical self-care. I knew it!

In 2009, Dr. Hilary Tindle of University of Pittsburgh Medical Center conducted research on personality and health on post-menopausal women. Over eight years of follow-up, Dr. Tindle found that:

• Women who scored highest for optimism had a 9% lower risk for developing heart disease and a 14% lower risk of dying from all causes, than women who scored lowest for optimism.
• Women with a high degree of hostility and cynicism were 16% more likely to die than women who scored lowest for hostility and cynicism. The heart disease rate was similar for both groups. . .
• Pessimists were more likely than optimists to have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and suffer from depression. They were also more likely to be overweight, smoke, and avoid exercise.

This study adds to the growing number of studies linking personality and health risks.

And if health is not enough for you to shake free of your cynic, what about success? Men's Health published a fun and thought-provoking article that can be summed up in the words of Matthew McConaughey (yes, the same one): "Cynics love to put their finger on disease before they put it on health. It's the easy way to go. Play the blame game: 'I got screwed, that should've been mine.' They're all dead-end answers. For me, 'Just keep livin,' as a creed and a compass, is about making the evolving choice, the forward-moving, life-giving choice." Well said, Matt. Yes, cynics are rarely successful. It's the ones who believe anything is possible -- from cameras the size of a credit card, to healing yourself with food -- who push us forward.

Exposing Your Soft Side

But I still had the question, how did I shift from hardcore cynic to a sweetie-praising optimist? It certainly didn’t happen overnight. If I were to pinpoint a time when the exorcism started, I would point to the moment I was walking to my office upon returning from the holiday break where I had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. As I walked down the hall, I heard this voice, “What are you doing here? Why are you here? What is your purpose here?” It was at that moment where I questioned every part of my being. From the way I ate, to how I took care of myself, to how I interacted with others, to how I lived my life. It was all up for grabs.

This string of self-questioning and self-exploration (along with lots of inspiration and support from Lissa), led me to the realization that I needed to share my story and experience with the world. I wanted to inspire others and show the world that MS was not a sentence to the wheel-chair. A decidedly non-cynical thing to do.

Optimists Have More Fun

During this journey, I learned that being an optimist is a heck of a lot more fun than being a cynic. So how do you boot your cynic to the curb? Here are some tips I gleaned from my journey.

1. Turn the cynic on itself. Cynics are great at questioning everything. So start questioning the cynic – ask it, "Cynic, why are you here? What purpose are you serving?" After a while, its answers don’t seem so compelling.
2. Foster your soft side. Give yourself regular – and I mean daily – TLC. Whether it be green juice or kale salads, lavender baths or poetry, art or yoga, meditation or steam rooms, each day nurture your soft side. She might have been neglected for far too many years. It will take some time for her to regain her strength.
3. Morning pages. Thanks to Julia Cameron for this amazing gift to the world. Write three handwritten pages each day (preferably in the morning before your cynic can wake up). These pages will give your sweetie side a forum with which to exercise her voice. If she doesn’t appear at first, don’t fret and don’t push her. She will come roaring out only when she sees it is safe.

So what does your cynic keep you from doing? How has your cynic affected your life? Are you ready to tame your cynic?