I am no relationship guru, but I have experienced the ebb and flow within relationships of all kinds. In my experience taking the time to experience your emotions before talking about your needs helps to lessen signs of being needy or neurotic. If you're upset or angry you may say things you will regret later or in a tone that doesn't convey what you are hoping to express. Allow yourself to feel what you're experiencing and then decide if it is just your emotions getting the better of you or if you really have an issue you need to address with your partner. If he or she is noticeably different, address it as soon as you can, waiting too long only prolongs the concerns you have and makes the other person think that everything is fine. You don't want your partner to become defensive if you approach it with too much emotion or that the emotion comes out at other times-which only confuses the other person, but at the same time you need to be honest and ask them to do the same.

These comments have got me thinking, thinking, thinking, which is an amazing gift!

Simone, I am so glad you are out there in the world helping us every shred or value out of our relationships by first working on ourselves and deciding what we want and need. I find that the more I learn about relationships with others, the more I realize that I need to be set in who I am and what I need before I can ask anything of someone else. As much as relationships are about others, they are mirrors of our own hearts and everything that's in them.

Javi, I completely agree about the interconnected aspects of relationships. Our relationships effect us so deeply, and we in turn have such a powerful effect on others. In that way our relationships feed one another, even if the people in our lives only know each other from a distance.

Anonymous - incredible questions. I agree that we do need to talk more about what we need. Relationships are a continuous conversation. They have to be. Asking for what we need isn't needy. It's honest.

No matter the nature or surface appearance of relationships, they are all meant to help us grow. I personally believe that we even choose our own parents as an integral part of this process. Overall, I have felt very blessed and peaceful about my relationships. From here, I can see how I would do some things minorly differently there, but I would never change a thing if I was given the genie-gift. All roads led to who I am today, and from here, I will continue growing and expanding my internal database towards better, smarter, more truthfully (and realized) me.

I have helped 1000s of people over the past decades via counseling, encouraging and demanding — when appropriate and/or needed — they demand more of themselves. Of all my gifts and honed skills, I'd say I am most grateful for my people and relationship building magic. The fact that I sat down to type, "Go, Christa! Thanks for sharing this," but all this came out instead, tells ME a lot. I really should focus MORE on my relationship coaching. Hmm. So...Go, Christa! Thanks for sharing this!

xoxo